RAW starts with Triple H in the ring and proclaiming that he's back and it means trouble for others. He decided to sit out to teach some people a lesson but apparently there are a lot of thick-headed people around as some took that as an invitation to attack Evolution. An attack that has injured Ric Flair and will prevent him from being on RAW tonight and an attack that has made Batista very, very angry. This attack took place under the watchful eye of our absolutely useless G.M., Mr. Eric...
"Bischoff" as Eric finishes the sentences and marches down to the ring. Bischoff says that with all due respect, if he were Triple H, he'd come to grips with the fact that the all four winning teams at Survivor Series will control RAW each week, one week at a time. At this point, Triple H grabs Bischoff by the collar and roughs him up so Eric asks him to please don't do this and it's only forcing him to recommend that he be stripped of his world title. Triple H then says that his team will win at Survivor Series and Bischoff responds by saying that they have nothing to worry about then.
Bischoff then announces the first match of the night...and it is Batista vs. Randy Orton! After the commercial break, of course.
Randy Orton vs. Batista
-Orton controls most of the beginnings parts of the match, taking it to Batista both on the inside and outside of the ring but all the while keeping a close eye on the lurking Triple H at ringside. When they get back in, Batista takes control and then slows the match down with a reverse chinlock. Minutes later, Triple H is caught interfering and is consequently banished to the back by the referee as we head to another commercial. After several near falls, the finish sees Orton simply roll up Batista for the victory.
Later tonight on Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel, it will be Trish Stratus and Lita face-to-face.
Also tonight, Chris Benoit battles Edge.
Backstage, Randy Orton is with his three other partners - Maven, Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho talking about his victory and wanting to win at Survivor Series. Before they can say much, an enraged Batista attacks them all and everyone is restrained and separated by several officials.
They show some history between Edge and Chris Benoit, including a Chris Benoit interview from last week after RAW courtesy of wwe.com. Basically, Benoit says that he will do something unthinkable tonight and thus has told his wife and kids not to watch the show.
They show footage from the Detroit Pistons championship banner raising ceremony last week where members of the team came out in WWE championship belts.
Tyson Tomko vs. Shelton Benjamin
-Christian is at ringside and takes several opportunities to cheap shot Benjamin. The finish sees Benjamin kick Christian, who decides to stand on the ring apron, and then pin Tomko after the T-bone suplex.
They recap the Tough Enough competition.
Backstage, it shows Trish Stratus readying herself for the Highlight Reel. She grabs her belt and undoes her top just a little bit more.
Chris Jericho starts off his Highlight Reel by saying that his team will win at Survivor Series and get to control RAW for a week, giving new meaning to the term "RAW is Jericho". As for this week, he has a referee by his side to make sure his two guests don't rip each other to shreds before their women's title match at the PPV. First introduced is Trish Stratus. Lita is introduced second and immediately the two women almost get it on. Trish takes the mic and asks Jericho what he's thinking - why do you want Lita, the walking kiss of death? She says that by having Lita his show will now be cancelled but Jericho responds by saying that by having Trish on, he will be cancelling his subscription to Garden Hoes & Sluts. Or something.
Trish then directs her attention to Lita, saying that she hasn't been wrestling for a long time. While she was making babies and getting fat, she was making history. So keep dreaming, Lita. Lita comes back by saying that she's been dreaming of getting her hands on Trish for seven months. She's going to take all her pain and sufferings out on Trish. She admits to being a walking kiss of death and says Trish better pucker up.
This brings out Gene Snitsky, who is seen walking down the ramp with an apparent baby who is heard crying. Snitsky says it's a baby boy and tells him to shut up. He asks the baby his name but says that he doesn't know. Snitsky asks Lita if her baby had a name but he answers by saying "I guess we'll never know". Snitsky asks Lita what the problem is, she looks worried. Is she afraid that he's going to drop the baby? Snitsky offers Lita to hold the baby but then changes his mind and says it's his baby and he can do whatever he wants. With that, Snitsky takes the baby and kicks it into the audience. As Jericho consoles Lita, Snitsky shoves him so Jericho takes exception and roughs Snitsky up. But as Jericho goes after Snitsky on the outside, he's caught and rammed into the steel post, spine-first. Snitsky leaves behind an upset Lita and an injured Jericho.
Lilian Garcia introduces Simon Dean, one of RAW's newest sponsors. Simon asks for a volunteer to test his product and he selects a woman near the front with red hair. Dean makes fun of the woman saying it's probably impossible for her to shower, etc. The woman totally over-acts and Simon says if she takes his product, she'll be able to fit into a normal shower. Dean then moves and points out a man in the front row. He asks him if he gets out of breath just by walking to the bathroom. He wonders if he needs assistance to clean himself after a bowel movement. Simon promises to change his life. Simon then finds another woman, who happens to be overweight, and asks her if she'd like to try his Simon System for one year for free. Even though the woman doesn't want to, Simon claims she said yes and asks her to come to the ring.
Simon asks her what her name is and where she's from. Laura is the name and she's from Austin, Texas. Simon says the saying it's bigger in Texas must be true when looking at her. Simon then asks her when the last time she had a sexual relationship was and Laura says that it's none of his business. Dean claims that all her friends probably hang around her just to feel more attractive. The woman hesistantly agrees to try Simon's special drink for 90 days. He mixes it up and offers it to her and she drinks it. Simon then says for a woman of her size, it would only take 20 gallons per day to see some changes. With that, the upset woman throws the glass of juice on Simon and heads back to her seat, but Simon runs behind her and dumps the whole jug over her head.
Triple H vs. Tajiri
-As Tajiri is entering the ring, Gene Snitsky runs down and attacks him. With Tajiri disabled on the outside, Triple H laughs, grabs a mic and says if he can carry that same intensity to Survivor Series, it's a done deal - welcome to the team! Snitsky wants to get one thing straight though. He has never been much of a team player, but when they win at Survivor Series, it's going to be all because of him. And just so Triple H knows, when it's his turn to run RAW, he'll be coming for Triple H's world title. With that, Snitsky hands Triple H back the mic and walks off.
They show a vignette featuring the two new Arab wrestlers, Mohammed Hasan (?) and his sidekick who speaks in what we're led to believe is Arabic.
They run through the Survivor Series lineup.
Jerry Lawler then starts an "OU Sucks" chant, directed towards Jim Ross.
Backstage, Maria interviews Edge and asks him about his upcoming match against Chris Benoit. Edge says Austin is where he gets it done. He watched Chris Benoit's interview after RAW last night and he thinks it's a good idea that Benoit's wife and kid(s) don't watch because he doesn't want them to see what he'll do to their husband and daddy. Triple H interrupts and says it's nice that Edge finally sees the light. Triple H officially welcomes him to the team but says they have to keep an eye on one of their team members - Gene Snitsky. Edge says he saw what Snitsky said and he's wrong. We won't win because of Snitsky, they'll win because of him and when they do win and he gets to control RAW, it will be Edge coming after Triple H and his belt.
Backstage, Triple H complains to Batista about Snitsky and Edge. He can't believe that this is how they will repay him after he allowed them to join his team. Triple H suggests to Batista that he better have a talk with them before things get out of hand. Triple H leaves and Batista sits there and then picks up Triple H's belt and takes a look at it...
Diva search winner, Christy Hemme, announces the participants of the next match.
Edge vs. Chris Benoit
-Both wrestlers tease their finishers but decide not to opt for it just yet. Edge bails on Benoit a lot during the first half of the match and decides to run up the ramp. When Benoit chases after him, Edge abruptly turns around and lands a forearm to the face. As Edge brings Benoit back to the ring, we head to a commercial break.
I don't know what happened to the end of my report, so here is one from pwtorch.com:
Returning from the commercial, Edge was trying to make Benoit tap out again. During the break, Edge had given him an overhead suplex. Benoit began to fight back with hard chops and gave Edge a knee to the gut.
Evolution's music hit and Triple H and Batista headed out to watch at ringside.
Randy Orton's music hit, and he and Chris Jericho and Maven headed out to be in Benoit's corner.
Meanwhile, back in the ring neither was giving an inch. Edge suplexed Benoit again, then went up top where they both fought on the turnbuckle. They came off the top like a car wreck and the referee began to count. Both got to their feet and picked up where they left off. Benoit bounced Edge off the top rope, then dumped him over the side and slammed his head into whatever was handy. Batista and Triple H were keeping their eyes on Orton and Company.
Benoit was back in control of the match and put Edge in the Sharpshooter. Edge crawled toward the ropes and grabbed on just in time. Benoit gave Edge a series of German suplexes, then he signaled for the end. Benoit came off the top with a head butt, but Edge kicked out of the pin that followed. Benoit put Edge in the Crippler Crossface and Edge reached for the ropes. Interference broke out and the referee called for the bell and a disqualification.
By this time, Snitsky had joined the party and cleared the ring. Triple H was confronted by his not-so-loyal teammates, but before anything could be said, Team Orton charged the ring and it turned into a Pier Six Brawl. Team Orton had control of the ring and Triple H and his so-called team found themselves on the outside as the show ended--in more ways than one.