WWE RAW Report
I am The Worm and in addition to doing the Velocity report, I will be doing tonight's RAW report as Rajah.com's newest RAW reporter.
I was rushing to finish talking to Sony Tech Support to fix a problem I was having with my PS2 and it was taking longer than expected. Fortunately for me, I only missed the pyro going off by the time I got done. Sony's got a great tech support, all I had to do to fix my problem was use the Auto-Diagnosis feature in the PS2 (which I was previously unaware of.
As the pyro goes off, they announce the 20 man Over the Top Rope challenge and just then, Lita's music hits and she makes her way to the ring. A clip from last Monday where Trish plays a joke on Lita by making her think Kane showed up which is followed by Lita's attack on Trish.
Trish makes her way out, and we'll get to see:
Match #1 (Singles) - Lita vs. Trish Stratus:
They stare each other down and Trish mocks Lita. Lita takes her down with a right hand followed by a monkey flip into some mounted punches. She backs Trish into the corner and whips her to the opposite corner. Trish ducks out of the way and slams her to the mat by her hair.
Trish works in some forearms as she picks up Lita, but Lita regains control as she works in some punches and then Lita is whipped, in which Lita takes Trish down with a hurricanrana. Lita goes for the pin, but Trish kicks out. Trish takes Lita down into the second rope and then chokes her on it. Trish sits on the top rope and hangman chokes Lita. She taunts the crowd and chokes Lita again with the same manuever.
Trish knocks Lita down with a flying clothesline and goes for a pin, but Lita kicks out. Trish works Lita over with some more forearms and then connects with a swinging neckbreaker. Trish gears up for the Chick Kick, but Lita catches her leg and goes for a jacknife pin, but Trish kicks out. Trish is now back in control with a sleeper hold and the crowd pumps up to motivate Lita. Lita fights her way out, and connects with some forearms. Lita bounces off the ropes, and Trish catches her with a spine buster. Trish goes for the pin, but Lita kicks out.
Trish has Lita in a sleeper hold again and Lita fights out again. She whips Trish, but Trish kicks her in the gut and she goes for the Stratusfaction, but Lita counters with a back suplex. Lita goes for the pin, but Trish kicks out.
Lita connects with a snap suplex and she kips up and Lita takes Trish down with clotheslines. Lita pins Trish, but Trish kicks out. Lita works on Trish some more before going for another pin and Trish kicks out again. Lita manages to connect with the Twist of Fate, but amazingly enough, Trish kicks out.
We are then interrupted by Kane, who has now shown up on the TitanTron. This allows Trish to eke out a victory with an illegal roll-up (her legs were on the middle rope).
Winner: Trish Stratus
We go back to Kane and he says that he didn't mean to distract her, but he does want an answer tonight. Lita better pray that she makes the right decision as we go to a commercial break.
As we come back to Raw, a clip of Orton stealing a win over Edge is shown.
Randy Orton Promo:
Evolution's music hits and Randy Orton makes his way to the ring with his WWE Intercontinental Title. He takes the stick and in case you haven't noticed, he likes to talk about himself and how he beat Mick Foley at Wrestlemania & Backlash. He also likes to talk about how he defeated Edge last week. He also likes to talk about how he is the longest reigning Intercontinental champion in the past seven years. "You Suck" chants start up and tonight, Batista and Orton will beat Benoit & Edge to become the next Tag Team Champions. Orton's accomplishments are endless and he could go on and on and on. He says tonight is about Evolution. Tonight is about Triple H, the greatest wrestler alive today. Tonight is going to be about Triple H bringing the World Heavyweight Championship back to Evolution. Tonight Evolution will ensure that Triple H will win the Battle Royal tonight. There is no stopping Evolution!! There is no stopping Triple H from regaining what is rightfully his, the World Heavyweight Championship. Before Orton can continue, Shelton Benjamin's music hits and he makes his way out to the ring.
He takes the stick this time around and do my ears deceive me? Did I hear you say tonight is about Evolution? Did I hear you say that tonight it's about Triple H winning the battle royal? Did I hear you say that Triple H is the greatest wrestler alive today? Let me remind you that he beat Triple H...not once, but twice. As far as Shelton's concerned, tonight isn't about Triple H, it's about Shelton Benjamin winning the Battle Royal and going on to face Benoit for the World Heavyweight title.
Easy, Shelton, easy. You had some luck from the start, but we all know about luck. Luck runs out. You're no match for Evolution, Shelton. You're no match for Triple H and you're sure as hell no match for me.
What is Orton saying? He thinks he's better than Shelton Benjamin?
Orton knows he's better than Shelton!
Shelton goes on to challenge Orton one on one for the Intercontinental Championship. Orton retaliates by saying he's uppity. He says he wouldn't soil the title by defending it against him, and therefore the answer is no. Since Orton won't put up, try getting up.
A fight ensues with Shelton Benjamin in complete control of Randy Orton. Ric Flair comes down and pulls Orton out of the ring and they retreat up the ramp to another commercial break.
Looks like RAW is experiencing some problems, as we come back to a match already in progress with Batista in control, possibly an older match.
Batista tells Orton that they're going to bring tag team gold back to Evolution and Triple H says he's going to win the Battle Royal and go on to face Benoit for the title.
We then get to see Regal and Eugene and Regal congratulates Eugene for winning last week. Eugene is looking to be in another match, and Regal tells him to calm down. Bischoff shows up and he sarcastically says that he's proud that Eugene won last week. Bischoff and Regal have a private talk about what to do about Eugene. Bischoff wants Regal to show Eugene for what he really is...a laughing stock. He's going to give a special interview with Eugene and after tonight, Regal will never have to see Eugene again.
JR and the King share their thoughts on the developing situation between Regal and Eugene and the King comments how HBK and Eugene won't be in the Battle Royal. Last week, HBK was suspended after he interfered with the match between Triple H and Shelton Benjamin. They then remind the viewers of the 20 man Battle Royal before going to another commercial break.
BOOM! Kane's pyro explodes and we get to hear Slow Chemical. Kane makes his way down to the ring and we get to see a clip of Kane taking out Val Venis last week.
Match #2 (Singles) - Kane vs. Val Venis:
Val Venis is livid as he comes down to the ring and Venis immediately hits a few punches before being shoved down by Kane. Venis scores with more punches and goes for a Russian Leg Sweep, but Kane blocks it. Venis is still in control as he hammers away at Kane. Kane comes back with a big boot and he signals for the Chokeslam. It connects and Kane ends this quick match.
Before Kane can celebrate, Matt Hardy runs out and beats down Kane. He takes him out of the ring and uses a steel chair to do some damage.
They're both in the ring and Matt Hardy goes to hit him with the chair, but Kane comes back with a big boot followed by a chokeslam. To add insult to injury, Kane hangs him upside down in the Tree of Woe and chokes him with some cable. Kane scares the ref out of the ring and he picks up the chair and puts it around Matt's neck. Matt tries to fight out of it, but Kane uses his foot on the seat to choke Matt Hardy. Matt is quickly losing consciousness and Lita comes out to plead for Kane's mercy.
Lita's answer is yes, but yes to what? Kane picks up Lita and he whispers something into her ear. Kane exits with a smile on his face and Lita calls for help. As we go to commercial, up next will be the WWE Tag Team Championship match between the champs Benoit and Edge vs. the challengers Batista & Orton.
Earlier today, Shane Helms (The Hurricane) talks about an event held outside the arena to get people to register to vote. One vote can really make a difference, so if you haven't registered yet, please do so!
Match #3 (Tag Title Match) - Chris Benoit & Edge (C) vs. Batista & Randy Orton:
Benoit looks good in gold as he makes his way down to the ring for this tag team title match-up. Benoit should become the next Grand Slam Champion by winning the Intercontinental title, how cool would that be? He'd have all the belts he is capable of winning on the RAW side. Edge is out next and he is as energetic as ever. He's sporting a black, light cast on his hand this time. The challengers are accompanied by Ric Flair, and they make their way down to the ring as the Evolution music hits. Let's have a good clean fight.
Batista and Orton share some advice and Orton starts things off against Edge. They're all smiles as they exchange hard glances before locking up. Edge latches on a side headlock and Orton backs Edge into a corner. Edge plays some head games with the IC Champ and they lock up again. Edge latches on another headlock and Orton whips him across the ring. Edge hits a shoulder block and as they go to lock up again, Orton hits a kick to the gut, but Edge comes back with forearms. He whips Orton in the corner and connects with a back drop.
Chris Benoit is tagged in, much to the delight of the crowd, and he hammers away at Orton with punches and chops. He chops Orton into the corner and before he can continue, Orton latches onto Benoit's head and tags in Batista.
Batista rams Benoit's head into the turnbuckle followed by knees to the gut. He whips Benoit and takes him down with a shoulder block. Batista goes for a pin, but Benoit kicks out at two. He backs Benoit into his corner and rakes his face with his forearm. Orton is tagged in and he goes to work on Benoit. Orton whips Benoit into the corner, but Benoit fights out and he is in control as he fires punches and chops Orton's way. Edge is tagged in and he elbows Orton in the back. Edge goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out.
They back up into the ropes and Edge hits a few punches before connecting with a snapmare into a reverse chin lock. Batista wants the tag as Orton fights his way out. Orton is whipped, Edge reverses, and Orton kicks Edge in the chest. Edge throws Orton out of the ring and then Edge and Benoit double-team Batista to take him out of the ring as we go to another commercial.
As we return, Orton is in control of Edge with an armbar and during the commercial Batista steps out of the way and Edge flies into the ringpost. Edge fights back with punches but Orton slams him back down by his hair. Batista is tagged in and he stomps away at Edge. "Randy Sucks" chants are heard throughout the crowd and Batista locks in another armbar. Batista goes for the cover, but Edge kicks out.
Batista picks Edge up and hits a knee to the gut. Edge is whipped, and he kicks Batista in the chest. Batista takes Edge back down and goes for the pin, but Benoit breaks it up. Orton is tagged in and he continues to work on Edge's left arm. Orton cinches in a modified armbar, with Edge's head in the back of Orton's knee.
Edge tries to work his way up and connects with a forearm, but Orton comes back with a knee to the gut. Edge is whipped and Orton goes for a drop-kick, but he misses as Edge grabs the ropes. Edge decides to catapult Orton face first into the turnbuckle and he goes for the pin, but Orton kicks out.
Both men are down and the ref begins the count. Orton has a hold of Edge's leg and works his way up Edge' s body and Orton whips Edge, but Edge comes back with a DDT. Both men are down again and the count starts back up. Edge is beginning to come to as the count reaches 6. Edge tags in Benoit and he is all fired up. He connects with chops, kicks, and even the kitchen sink. He then uses a backbreaker before going for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Benoit goes to bounce off the ropes, but Batista gets in a cheap shot.
Benoit has Orton in the Sharpshooter, but Batista runs in and takes him down. The champs double team Orton, but Batista comes back with a double clothesline. Batista goes for the sit-down powerbomb, but Benoit counters. Orton attacks Benoit, which then takes the ref out. Orton and Benoit are still in the ring and Benoit connects with his rolling Germans. Orton tries to grab the ref, but there's nothing he can do as the third German is executed. Benoit signals for the flying headbutt and he goes up top. Ric Flair gets involved and Benoit knocks him off the apron. Orton manages to sneak in with a championship belt and Benoit's head lands on it. Orton goes for the cover, and we have new WWE Tag Team Champions!
Psyche! Benoit miraculously kicks out and Flair gets involved. Edge sneaks up from behind and spears Randy Orton, but Batista takes out Edge. On the outside, Batista goes to whip Edge, but Edge reverses and Batista hits the steel stairs. Inside the ring, Orton goes for the RKO, but Benoit counters it into the Crossface and Orton submits.
Winner and STILL Tag Champs: Chris Benoit & Edge
Regal gets Eugene ready for his interview that's coming up next. Do, Re, Mi, So, Fa, La, Tito Santana! Gotta love Eugene's wrestling knowledge. Eugene wonders if Regal is trying to tell him something and Regal loses his cool for a moment, but he quickly regains his composure as we go to another commercial break.
We're back and we get a view of the arena on a beautiful California evening. We see a clip from last week where Regal tries to cost Eugene his match with Rob Conway, but in the end, Eugene rolls Conway up with a rolling clutch pin for the victory.
In the ring, Todd Grisham introduces Eugene and he makes his way down to the ring to some new music (I can't recall the name of the song, but it sounds very familiar to me). Todd Grisham goes to ask Eugene his first question, but he is interrupted by the Coach. The Coach gets into the ring and takes the stick from the Grish. The Coach tells Grisham to take a hike.
The Coach congratulates Eugene on his victory, and asks Eugene how he feels, but he is cut off before he can even get a word out. The Coach tells Eugene that he is not a wrestler, he is a joke. He asks if he actually thinks that the people like him. They cheer, but no, they're making fun of him. The Coach tells Eugene that his purpose is to be a laughing stock. He says he is an embarassment. The Coach is ashamed to be in the same ring as Eugene. The Coach tells Eugene that he doesn't belong and that the only reason he even has a job is because he is Bischoff's nephew. The Coach tells Eugene that he doesn't have any friends. No one is Eugene's friend. The Coach goes out on a limb by assuming that Eugene has never even had a girlfriend.
The Coach then continues to insult Eugene by telling him to go back to whereever he came from. He then apologizes to Eugene, he forgot that Eugene doesn't have any friends. He then tells Eugene to get out of the ring and Eugene is teary-eyed as he walks back up the ramp. The Coach tells Eugene that he shouldn't bother coming back and as Eugene is ready to go backstage, we are rewarded with a surprise! It's The Rock and he's actually here!! I've got chills running down my spine as The Rock makes his presence known.
Eugene follows The Rock back down the ramp and the crowd has absolutely gone ape-shit! The Coach can't even believe The Rock is here and huge Rocky chants break out.
The Rock Promo:
Eugene! You ain't going nowhere!
The Rock has heard all the trash talk and finally! The Rock has come back to San Diego! The Rock was backstage was hearing all the talk and the people don't think Eugene is a joke. There is only one man who knows the people, and more Rocky chants break out. There is only one man who knows the people, and it sure isn't that walking popcorn fart, the Coach. The one man is The Rock!
The Rock came here tonight to meet Eugene. The Rock is a huge fan of Eugene and he tells him not to listen to the Coach. The Rock guaran-damn-tees Eugene that the people love him and huge Eugene chants break out. The Rock says that in three seconds, the crowd will chant Eugene and they do so. The Rock tells Eugene to screw the Coach and brand new "Screw the Coach" chants begin as Eugene cheers them on.
The Rock says it'll be a honor for The Rock to be Eugene's friend. The Coach has a sourpuss look on his face and The Rock says that the crowd will call the Coach a "popcorn fart". Popcorn fart chants break out this time and the Coach is the only one who doesn't find it funny. He points out that JR and the King, even Lilian Garcia (hello honey) were chanting popcorn fart. The Coach then makes fun of The Rock by saying that the last time we saw The Rock, he was getting his ass kicked at Wrestlemania. The Rock admits that he lost, but is that really what the Coach thinks? Eugene chimes in with "it doesn't matter what you think". Besides Mick Foley, Eugene is the only one who've said The Rock's catchphrases.
The Rock asks him who is the People's Champion..."The Rock!"
Why does Eugene like Triple H? They both like to play games.
The Rock tells Eugene that the only game Triple H likes to play is "Hide the Strudel". Eugene likes to play games, so the three of them will play a game. With a round of applause, would you like to see them play checkers? No, we don't wanna see the Screw the Coach game. Well, how about dodgeball? No? How about Eugene whips the Coach's ass all over San Diego? The crowd cheers him on and all of a sudden, Garrison Cade sneaks in from behind and assaults The Rock. The Coach tosses Eugene out. Eugene comes back in and attacks the Coach and The Rock takes on Garrison Cade.
The Rock connects with the Rock Bottom on the Coach and now it's time for the People's Elbow. The Rock takes his shirt off and tosses it to the crowd. The Rock motions for Eugene to do the People's Elbow. Eugene takes his outfit off and connects with the People's Elbow. The Rock raises Eugene's hand and they hug. The Rock's music plays and they both take a turnbuckle to raise an arm.
I must say that Eugene abso-fucking-lutely rules. He provides excellent comic relief to the WWE and I can only see big things for the guy. Let's take another commercial break otherwise my hands are going to cramp up from typing so much.
The Smackdown Rebound recaps Eddie Guerrero smashing in a window on JBL's limo and then JBL has Eddie arrested. Eddie tries to attack JBL, but JBL beats him down since Eddie is handcuffed. Fast forward to last night, JBL says he will be victorious. JBL is indeed victorious, but only because Eddie was disqualified for using the belt as a weapon. Therefore Eddie is still the WWE Champion. Afterwards, Triple H's music plays as we get ready for the Battle Royal.
Main Event - The 20 Man Battle Royal:
First in is Triple H and the next out is Maven, who is making his return to RAW. Y2J is the third competitor in this match up and we have to take another commercial break.
As we return, Shelton Benjamin is on his way out and the ring is already filling up with all of the competitors. Kane is the next out and it looks like all of the competitors are one end and Triple H is all by himself on the other. Edge makes his way out as the next wrestler in this match-up followed by Evolution. Triple H has a smile on his face and if they wanted to set up a feud between Randy Orton and Triple H, now would be a good time to start.
The bell rings and all hell breaks loose. Johnny Nitro takes on Kane , but Kane grabs him and tosses him out of the ring to be the first eliminated. Maven is choking Flair and Steven Richards is tossed out. Kane takes out Rosey and then Hurricane. Rosey catches the Hurricane before he can hit the floor and tosses him back in as we go to yet another commercial break.
As we return from the break, there are still plenty of competitors left. During the commercial, Rob Conway was eliminated by Maven and now Edge tries to eliminate Shelton Benjamin. Val Venis tries to eliminate Maven, but Triple H ends up eliminating them both.
Jericho is trying to take out Triple H , but to no avail. Shelton Benjamin uses the 10 punches on Flair, but Triple H sneaks up from behind and delivers an atomic drop. Jericho eliminates Sylvain Grenier and Garrison Cade almost eliminates Jericho, but Jericho flips back in. Garrison Cade is then eliminated.
Triple H goes to work on Rhyno and then moves on to other wrestlers. Hurricane stomps away on Jericho and Evolution team up. Batista eliminates Rhyno and then Evolution moves on to take out the Hurricane. Triple H and Batista double team to toss out the Hurricane and it looks like he landed rather hard on the outside as we go to take the final commercial break of the night.
Evolution, Chris Jericho, Kane, Shelton Benjamin, and Edge are left. Jericho connects with the Flashback (I think) on Triple H. Edge tries to eliminate Orton, but Batista clubs away at Edge. Triple H is now going to work on Shelton Benjamin and Ric Flair locks the Figure Four on Jericho.
Kane stalks Orton as he attempts to toss him out. Edge takes out Kane and tries to continue eliminating Orton. Jericho eliminates Flair from the bout and Orton is still in the match up. Jericho is clotheslined by Batista and he punches Jericho into submission. Batista tosses Jericho out over the turnbuckle and he hits the stairs as he lands. Shelton Benjamin is almost eliminated, but his feet never touched the floor and he rolls back in. Kane stalks Triple H this time around and Triple H is scared. Kane connects with the chokeslam on Triple H and then delivers it to Orton, followed by a chokeslam to Edge. Finally, he chokeslams Shelton Benjamin and now Batista is left standing. Something is tossed into the ring as Kane and Batista exchange punches. Batista hits a knee to the gut and Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Batista gets out of it.
Kane whips Batista, but Batista reverses and he connects with a massive spinebuster to Kane. Edge eliminates Batista and then he signals for the spear. He spears Triple H and Kane sits up. Edge spears Kane and is then eliminated by Randy Orton as he pulls the ropes down.
Shelton Benjamin, Orton, Kane, and Triple H are all that's left and this match is looking very good so far. Orton is in control of Shelton and Triple H works his way back up to a vertical base. Triple H and Orton are now double teaming Shelton Benjamin and Shelton is now in control as he goes to work on both Orton and Triple H. That all comes to an end as Triple H hits a high knee and people are cheering for Shelton. Orton tries to eliminate Shelton, but he hangs onto the ropes. Evolution continues to attempt to eliminate Shelton, but each time they try, they always seem to grab a hold of the ropes, either by his hands or even by his legs. Shelton runs up top and connects with a flying cross body on Triple H and Orton and he continues to wear them both down.
Shelton connects with a flying double clothesline on the remaining members of Evolution and now Kane is back in the picture. Shelton Benjamin connects with a beautiful Dragon Whip on Kane and Shelton FINALLY eliminates Randy Orton from the Battle Royal. Three men left and Shelton hits a splash on Kane in the corner. He continues to work on Kane, until Kane comes through with a chokeslam. Triple H low blows Kane and he eliminates Shelton Benjamin.
Kane is down and Triple H is still standing. Triple H is stalking Kane until HBK makes a surprise appearance and beats the hell out of Triple H and eliminates him. Kane wins this match thanks to the help of HBK and is now the #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship.
HBK leaves through the crowd and revels in the glory. Triple H is left in rage as we are welcomed to the
END OF SHOW