The show starts with Vince outback talking about how he and Shane beat HBK and God last night. Like God he’s taking a day off. So the Spirit Squad will be running things tonight.
SQ runs in and say they’re going to beak boundaries. Like they put HBK through a table. They will be putting the WWE Title on the line. Cena will be facing Kenny. The Divas will be in a match next - dressed as the best profession in the world - cheerleaders.
They do a hands in with Vince and all scream Spirit Squad.
Music and pyro.
Joey and King are announcing tonight. They show video from WM - the hardcore match between Edge and Foley. Foley will be on ‘The Cutting Edge’ tonight.
Torrie Wilson comes out dressed in her red and white cheering outfit with Chloe in hand. Maria comes out next looking extremely cute in her red and white outfit. Victoria looks pissed about her blue and white outfit. Mickie then comes out bouncing in her blue and white outfit. Video of Trish dislocating her elbow last night.
The heels attack the faces. Victoria attacks Torrie who nails a drop toe hold and then an arm bar. Torrie tags in Maria and Victoria rushes over to tag in Mickie. Mickie gets thrown across the ring by her hair and looks shocked about it. Victoria rushes in and so does Torrie. Maria whips Torrie into a splash of both heels. Torrie then does a stink face on both girls.
Maria nails a bronco buster on Mickie. Victoria comes in and throws Maria over the top rope. Maria climbs up on the apron and Mickie is about to suplex her into the ring but Trish appears out of no where. Trish, one handed, pulls Mickie off her feet from the outside. Maria falls on Mickie and covers her for the win.
- Winners: Torrie Wilson & Maria
- Commercial
The Spirit Squad come out to the ring. One of them takes a mic and says they Drew spirit straws and Kenny’s the one who won and gets to face Cena for the title. These three are now in a six man tag match. Why? Because they’re the Spirit Squad. Their opponents are the Odd Squad. Gene Snitsky, Goldust and Eugene come out. Video of Eugene and Striker with a booger and a stunner.
Goldust starts with a clothesline and arm drag. An arm bar and Eugene tags in. Eugene throws chops and punches but gets knocked to the apron in a corner. A new SQ member tags in.
Outback Vince is watching the goings on in the ring. A drink appears in front of him. The camera pulls back and it’s Candace holding the drink dressed very provocatively.
Eugene gets suplexed and covered for two by Johnny. Nicky, I think, tags in and covers for two. Another tags in and beats on Eugene. A forearm to Eugene’s face for two. Eugene gets whipped into the ropes and holds on. Eugene gets knocked from the ring and attacked by the other two. Gene is pissed at the ref but Eugene nails a rock bottom. Mikey tags out, Mickey tags in. Gene tags in but gets thrown over the top. He’s double teamed on the outside. Back in the ring Gene gets a big boot up.
Eugene gets tagged in and suplexed over the top. Eugene goes for a stunner but runs into a round house kick and cover for three by on of the SQ.
- Winners: Spirit Squad
More video from the hardcore match at WM.
- Commercial
During the commercial the kiss cam was interrupted when Mickie attacked Maria. She threw a bunch of punches and then a huge DDT.
Outback Eugene is getting interviewed. He’s asked how he feels to get beaten by SQ. The SQ is making Grisham ask this. He says Uncle Eric always told him not to quit. Eugene thinks for a moment and then says his Uncle Eric was trying to get him to quit every day. Eugene says, “Screw you, Uncle Eric!” He then says something about look who has a job now and who doesn’t. He’s getting into the interview when he’s attacked from behind by Striker with a huge dictionary. He tells Eugene to look it up- Never disrespect your teacher.
This Week In Wrestling History - Vince’s voice is announcing it. He talks about how he and the product of his semen beat HBK and God in a no holds barred match. How 5 disciples made sure the match finished the way it should. It proves Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a superior being.
Outback SQ enters the locker room and give HBK the night off as a wrestler. He’s going to be the ref in the next match - Rob Conway against Kane. They got him a special ref shirt - it’s bright yellow with ‘May 19' written all over it. The SQ walk out laughing. Show is mumbling under his breath about it being okay.
- Commercial
Joey and King are talking about the situation between Kane and Show. They show video from Backlash when Kane was hearing voices and Show tries to exorcize the demons with a steel chair.
HBK’s music hits and he comes out wearing his special guest ref shirt. Rob Conway comes out looking goofy singing along with his entrance music. Rob laughs and points at HBK’s shirt. HBK pats down Rob and gives him a low blow. HBK takes off the yellow shirt. While Rob is on his knees HBK puts the yellow shirt on him. The crowd is chanting ‘HBK’ through it all. Kane comes out and Rob tries to get the shirt off. HBK holds the shirt on him and makes sure Kane gets a good look at it.
Kane bangs his own head with his hands and throws Rob into the stairs. He then picks up Rob and drops him face first into the barrier. Rob gets rolled into the ring and Kane holds him down while beating on him. Kane boots Rob in the head while HBK sits on the ring corner enjoying the best seat in the house. Rob rolls from the ring and tries to get away into the crowd but HBK goes out and out of the goodness of his heart helps Rob back to the ring.
Kane kicks and stomps Rob while HBK goes under the ring. HBK stands on the apron holding a trash can on the top rope and looking in the opposite direction. Kane takes the can and nails Rob in the head with it - guess HBK doesn’t see it as a DQ for some reason. Kane rips the shirt off Rob and chokeslams him.
Kane leaves the ring and walks up the ramp. HBK grabs a mic and starts saying over and over - ‘May 19th’. Kane turns back and comes down to the ring acting as if he thinks it’s Rob who uttered the forbidden date. He scoops Rob up and nails him with a tombstone on him for three.
- Winner: Kane
- Commercial
Slam of The Week - Umaga and Flair last night at Backlash.
Estrada is in the ring. He tells us to listen to him. He tells us his name - all three parts of it. He introduces the man who destroyed Flair at Backlash. Tonight they go from Flair to... You? He points to the local jobber standing in the corner of the ring. Estrada asks if he’s scared - well he should be because he’s facing Umaga.
Umaga comes out to the ring. Umaga splashes the kid in a corner. He grabs the kid by the throat and throws him backward over his head. He then nails the kid with his butt splash. Umaga climbs and nails a flying splash on the poor kid. Then he drives his thumb into the kid’s throat and covers for three. Umaga poses over the kid and then stomps around the inside of the ring to celebrate I guess. The kid’s name is never mentioned.
- Winner: Umaga
Outback Candice is in Vince’s lap. He says it’s great that she joined him. He asks about her chest cold. She says it’s fine but now she needs help with her labiagitis. Vince says he’s never heard of labiagitis and then asks if it’s acute. Candice says it’s very cute. He starts mauling her as she giggles. Then her face and voice changes as she sees HHH standing over them.
HHH is smirking at Vince. He asks if there’s a flashlight in his pocket or is he happy to see him. Vince says he needed to talk to HHH. He thinks HHH needs a special spot on tonight’s show - guest ref for the Cena and Kenny match tonight. HHH says he should be in a match with Cena tonight.
Vince says he shouldn’t be awarded for attacking Cena and Edge, then giving Lita a spine buster.
HHH says he will do a favor for Vince, but if Kenny does win then HHH gets a shot at Kenny next week without the SQ at ring side.
Vince suggests he does the ref job tonight because he’s the boss. He brings up HHH calling him an old man a few weeks ago. Vince tells him if he doesn’t ref the match then his next title match will be when HHH is an old man.
More video from the WM hardcore match.
- Commercial
Lita is in the ring wearing jeans, an Edge t-shirt and a short sleeve black button down over it - in other words covering more skin that she has in the past 6 months. She announces Edge who comes down to the ring. Lita isn’t moving very well as she greets Edge with a kiss. (Yuck, who would want to kiss that - I’m talking about Edge.)
He says the show of respect for him was pathetic, what a shock. Like him out classing Cena and HHH last night. Cena pinned HHH not Edge, so Edge thinks he should still have claim at the title. But he should be used to getting no respect.
Even his match at WM was tarnished because it was announced by Joey Styles. He tells Joey he sucks. Edge then says he still stole the show at WM.
He then announces the guy who made it possible for Edge to steal the show. The former hardcore legend - Mick Foley.
Foley comes out in red and black plaid flannel and black sweats. ‘Foley’ chants fill the arena. He says he also hasn’t forgotten the WM match. For weeks he thought about it. He watched the tape and searched his soul to see what had gone wrong. After a while he realized nothing had gone wrong - things had gone very right. He was meaner and more hardcore than ever. He realizes that might have been the best hardcore match in his career, maybe even in wrestling history. What he didn’t realize was that he’d be face to face with the toughest son of a bitch in the WWE. He extends his hand. He gets it shaken and then shakes Lita’s hand and kisses her on the cheek.
They show video from the match when they go through the burning table. Foley says that’s his defining WM moment. Looking in his eye knowing he’d never be the same again. Knowing that he’d taken years off Edge’s life. Knowing Edge would never want to do that again. But Foley wants to do it again - tonight. He wants a rematch with Edge.
Edge thinks it’s cute that Foley waits until Edge goes through the hell he went through last night and the strep throat from wrestling in front of those Limeys last week. He then says - “You’re on.” Lita freaks and Edge then says, “You’re on crack!” Edge doesn’t want the match. But next week he will be in any match Foley wants.
Foley says it’s fitting that he’s on ‘The Cutting Edge’ tonight as next week he will be cutting Edge with barbed wire. He tells Edge to go rest up from the sledge and his strep throat because next week Foley is going to destroy him. Foley hopes that, even after what he’s said, Edge will “have a nice day. Bang, bang!”
Video and stills from the title match at Backlash last night.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Pictures from the Money In The Bank Match last night where RVD won the IC Title as well as keeping his briefcase.
Chris Masters music plays and he comes out wasting way too much of our time. He gets in the ring with a mic. He says last night was a fluke. He is far superior to Carlito. Carlito better stay out of his way or he’s not going to be spitting apples, he’s going to be spitting out teeth.
He then says that RVD must think he’s the man after last night. He not only has the briefcase but is also the IC Champion, but he’s never broken the masterlock.
RVD’s music hits and he comes down to the ring with both belt and briefcase. He’s wearing a red outfit this week - it’s airbrushed and his usual cut, but I don’t know as I’ve ever seen him in red, it’s a bit weird on him. He hands both to the ref and glares at Chris. Chris tells him to sit down. RVD watches Chris carefully and an ‘RVD’ chant starts.
RVD sits and Chris carefully locks on the hold. Shelton rushes the ring and starts punching RVD in the face while Chris holds him. Carlito comes out and nails Chris in the back to break it up and rescue RVD.
One of the SQ comes out and tells them to break it up. He says he wrote a special cheer for them. He says something stupid that basically says they’re now having a tag team match.
Shelton doesn’t look to happy about being put in a tag match immediately.
- Commercial
Chris has a necklock on RVD. RVD elbows his way out but gets slammed down. Chris drives his knee into RVD’s back.
Outback Vince is fondling and kissing Candice.
Shelton tags in and gets a headlock on RVD. Shelton scoop slams RVD and then nails a back breaker. Shelton locks on an arm/neck hold stretching RVD’s arm.
The announcers get a note and the SQ want to see Joey right now - so he leaves. Shelton nails a power slam on RVD for two.
Chris tags in and drops and elbow. Chris stomps RVD but gets nailed with a spinning heel kick. Both crawl to their corners and tag their partners.
Carlito nails a back body drop on Shelton and a clothesline on Chris. Carlito slingshots an elbow into Shelton’s face. They try to double team Carlito but Chris gets a standing drop kick to the chest and RVD flies at Shelton. RVD gets knocked from the ring by Chris.
Chris gets Carlito up in a gorilla press but Carlito gets out and nails a back cracker on Chris. Shelton, the legal man, is on the outside. He grabs a chair and enters the ring. Charlie Haas comes from the audience and onto the apron to grab the chair. Carlito quickly rolls Shelton up for the three while he’s still reeling from seeing Haas.
- Winners: RVD & Carlito
Smackdown Rebound shows Rey against Angle. Rey talks about how he’s the underdog. He says if it’s his last night as champ that it was well worth it. Mark Henry gets involved by attacking Angle. Henry splashes Angle through a table.
Outback the SQ tell Joey to sit down. They yell at Joey telling him he lacks spirit. Kenny doesn’t need Joey’s lack of spirit. If Joey doesn’t get more spirit they are going to have Vince make Joey wear a red and white female cheering outfit. They demand Joey announce ‘the new WWE Champion is Kenny’. Joey tries it a couple times and the SQ doesn’t like it very much. They show him how it should be done and then tell him to go practice.
- Commercial
Video clips of and talking about ‘See No Evil’. The director talks about the gore being done in a friendly way to make the viewers more uncomfortable. One actress says even the sets are freaky when nothing is going on.
King re-announces Joey’s return as lead announcer and future cheerleader. King wants Joey to show some spirit and say his line.
Joey wants to get back to announcing.
King says if this was ECW he would be showing some spirit.
Joey says if he was in the ECW he wouldn’t be working with a hack like King. Joey says that King wants to see some spirit Joey will give him spirit. Joey rips off his glasses and pushes King’s left shoulder.
King thinks this is great.
Joey then pushes King’s chest with both hands and King is still into it and talking about how great it is. That is until Joey bitch slaps King.
King calls Joey and idiot and pushes Joey to the floor totally pissed.
Joey gets up, walks around the ring, up the ramp and out.
- Commercial
Video recap of Joey calling King a hack. And the pushing match.
King says he apologized to the crowd during the commercial and apologizes to Joey. He asks Joey to please come back - he was wrong for pushing him.
Joey comes out with a mic and says he’s not coming down to work with King after he treated him like that, pushed him to the floor, embarrassed him. He says he’s going to show us why for 6 years he was the no holds barred, unscripted, do what he wanted announcer of ECW.
Then WWE calls him, he didn’t need a job. They call him because they embarrassed and fired JR. But from week one he got lectures about the differences in style - the fact that he’s different from JR, the guy they fired. He’s not allowed to say pro wrestling it has to be sports entertainment and has to call the wrestlers ‘superstars’. He’s not to talk about moves but about the story lines. These guys leave their families for weeks on end to show their moves in the ring and Joey isn’t allowed to talk about the moves, he has to push the stories. Because he isn’t a story teller, because he doesn’t sound enough like JR - the guy they fired - he gets bumped from WM. But then he gets bumped from Backlash! He’s pissed that he isn’t even good enough to announce Backlash! He used to announce PPVs by himself with no color commentators and now he can’t even announce Backlash.
He’s sick of the stories, boogers, cheerleaders. He’s sick of Vince who mocks God and makes out with the Divas. He sick of us fans who buy into what WWE is selling (The only time the crowd isn’t totally behind him is here - but they get right back behind him immediately). He’s sick of this job and doesn’t need this job - he quits.
King says they brought Joey up from the gutter, but it seems as though he misses home. Guess he’d rather kiss Paul Heyman’s ass in some bingo parlor.
HHH comes out to be the special guest ref.
- Commercial
King has been joined by Todd Grisham to take Joey’s place.
SQ come down to the ring with Kenny on their shoulders. Kenny is in the ring all pumped up while HHH, with his blackened eye and cut face, glares at him. Cena then comes out and HHH glares even harder at him as he comes down the ramp. Cena and HHH get in each other’s face.
Kenny quickly gets clotheslines and then a back elbow. Cena scoop slams him and drops an elbow while HHH leans in a corner. Cena bounces Kenny around the ring and nails a long delayed vertical suplex. Kenny gets whipped into a corner but gets a foot up. Kenny goes for a cross body but Cena catches him. Cena gets Kenny up for the FU and HHH nails Cena in the face.
Cena rolls from the ring and the rest of the SQ attacks him while Kenny distracts HHH. Back in the ring kenny covers and HHH slowly gets down for the count. Kenny again covers and HHH takes a while to gets down to count.
Cena mounts an offensive but the SQ pull Cena from the ring and beat him down. Cena gets rolled back in and Kenny asks HHH to count. HHH slowly gets down to count to two. Kenny nails a back elbow and again HHH slowly gets down to count.
Kenny nails a neckbreaker while mocking Cena and again gets a slow two count. Kenny nails a DDT for a slow two. Kenny is getting pissed and pushes HHH. HHH slowly looks at where Kenny pushed him. HHH nails Kenny to the mat. Another SQ member rushes the ring and gets a pedigree. HHH takes off his ref shirt and leaves the ring. SQ attacks Cena in the ring.
HHH walks up to the stage and HBK walks out wearing his ref shirt. They glare at each other for a minute.
In the ring Kenny drops a leg on Cena and covers. HBK rushes into the ring to count but stops ay two. HBK gets to his feet. Kenny gets up pissed at HBK. HBK nails a super kick on Kenny. Cena and HBK take apart the SQ. Mikey then gets sweet chin music from HBK.
Kenny wanders into the ring. Cena nails the FU on Kenny and HBK counts to three. HBK leaves the ring and grabs the WWE strap. He tosses the belt over the top rope to Cena who catches it and celebrates his win.
Biggest pop
HBK
Foley
HHH
RVD
Biggest heat
Edge & Lita
Spirit Squad
Vince