RAW Report 3/26/07 Chicago, IL

RAW this week begins with music and pyro.

Coach is in the ring. He says he got word earlier that the match between Vince and Lashley has been changed. It's now a no DQ match. Any outside interference will result in suspension.
Austin's music hits and he comes down to the ring. Coach looks quite nervous with Austin there. Austin says he's sorry he has to interrupt, but he has to tell a story about what happened in Texas this weekend. He was sitting there and a delivery truck pulled up and started unloading gifts. A new four wheeler, etc. Each card said from Trump. He's not a private investigator, but he thinks Trump's trying to buy him off.
Coach says it's just like Trump to try to buy him off.
Austin then tells the guy to pack it all up and send it back to New York City. The delivery guy told him he can pack it all up, but it would have to go back to Stamford, CT. So, Austin figures it out that the gifts actually came from Vince. Vince asks Coach if they think he's stupid.
Coach says no one thinks he's stupid.
Austin tells Coach to shut up. He says that what Vince did is grounds for automatic DQ. He asks the crowd if he should go out back, drag Vince out and shave his head. The crowd thinks it's a great idea.
Coach steps in and says he's the one who did it. It wasn't Vince and not to blame him.
Austin says he has no trouble getting involved in the match if one of them won't break a hold after a five count. He won't kill either of them, just enough to send them a message. In the ring at WM what he says goes. And what happens outside the ring, what he says goes.
Coach stops Austin from leaving and says he doesn't understand why Vince and Trump are so upset about losing their hair because if you can pull it off, bald is beautiful.
Coach and Austin laugh together about this until Austin hits a hard stunner on Coach. Austin drinks his beer and dumps a bunch on Coach before leaving the ring.

Outback Austin jumps in his truck to leave but comes nose to nose with a limo. Austin isn't about to back down so he leans on the horn. The limo backs up and pulls along side the truck. Vince bounces up though the sun roof and asks who the hell thinks can get in his way. That is until he sees Austin's truck and starts apologizing. Austin flips hime the bird, and tears out with saying a word.
Vince screams at the driver to unlock his door. Vince gets out and starts screaming at the driver through the window. Vince pulls the driver out through his window and starts choking him. He knees the driver in the gut and then fires him.

- Commercial

Melina, Victoria and Jillian come down to the ring together. Melina in leopard print cut out pants and halter, Vic in a tiny red one piece outfit withoutsides or much of a back and Jillian in a sparkly nude colored two piece pants outfit. Ashley, Candice and Torrie come out together. Ashley in a pink plaid mini and pink belly top with the Playboy bunny on it, Torrie in pink boy shorts and a tiny pink top, Candy in red boy shorts, leg warmers and a bikini top that's stars. Candy's tatas are sticking out all sides and the bottom of her top; it's amazing she's able to stay in through the whole match.
Ashley and Melina start. Melina talks smack and immediately tags in Vic. Candy tags in and kicks Vic in the gut. Vic gains control and tags in Melina. Melina kicks Candy in the back and tags in Jillian. Jillain tries for a modified leg drop but Candy moves. Candy fights her way to her corner and tags in Ashley. Ashley pulls head scissors on Jillian. Vic rushes in but gets tossed from the ring. Ashley grabs Melina pulls her into the ring and beats on her. Jillian whips Ashley and splats her in the corner. Ashley is able to pull a victory roll on Jillian and covers for three.

- Winners: Ashley, Candy & Torrie

Video of Trump announcing Lashley as his wrestler at WM. Lashley and Umaga throw down and beat on each other while a whole group of security try to stop them.

- Commercial

Six days until WM.

CM Punk comes down to the ring. He's from Chicago. Kenny is already in the ring.
Kenny attacks as soon as CM enters the ring. Punk hits a backbreaker and covers for two. Punk runs and tries to kick Kenny in a corner but ends up straddling the corner. Kenny gains control and covers for two. Kenny throws a bunch of punches and covers again for two. A clothesline and Kenny covers for two. A neckbreaker to Punk for two. "CM Punk," chant. A chinlock on Punk who elbows his way out of it. A couple forearms to Punk's back, but Punk gains control. Punk hits a kick and then a rear elbow. Kenny is whipped but flips Punk over onto the apron. They exchange punches and Punk hits a springboard elbow. Punk hits a bulldog for two. Punk gets Kenny up on his shoulders and then flips Kenny over so Kenny's face connects with Punk's knee. Punk covers for three.

- Winner: CM Punk

Edge is outback clapping for Punk, mocking him. He tells Punk to savor the win as he won't be having one at WM. Punk is shown in the ring not agreeing with Edge. Edge tells him he will get a chance to respond at the first ever MITBLM Cutting Edge - Next.

- Commercial

Video from ECW when Lashley beat Holly in a cage in less than five minutes. Lashley then beaks the cage onto Umaga.

There's a briefcase hanging above the ring with a ladder below it. All the wrestlers for the match are in the ring. Edge's music hits and he comes down to the ring. They all glare at Edge as he enters the ring.
Edge welcomes us all to a very special edition of the Cutting Edge. He says he won the first MITBLM and cashed it in the become champ. He says he won ladder matches at WM 16, 17 & 21. He's won more ladder matches than the rest of them combined. He starts with Matt Hardy saying he's shocked Matt's even in this match.
Matt said he's going to go after Edge. He's going to lay him out flat on his back, just like his ex-girlfriend.
Edge says he's done with Matt, and he can do that because it's his show. He goes to Booker and hopes he has something more intelligent to say.
Booker says some of them have been champs, but none like Booker. He calls them peasants and Fit cuts in yelling and screaming. He calls Edge 'chisel chin'.
Orton grabs the mic saying not to upset Edge because then he will refuse to wrestle. Just as he's refused to wrestle in a bunch of matches lately.
Kennedy grabs the mic and says he'll win it.
Edge mocks Kennedy saying we all know his name. Edge says he should end it with Jeff Hardy who hasn't said a word in months. Huge pop for Jeff. Jeff says he hasn't been to WM in five years, so he will do whatever he needs to do to win. Even if that means going through his brother. Matt nods at Jeff in understanding.
Edge goes on to CM Punk. Edge comments on Punk being straight edge, his only addiction being wrestling. Edge says his additions are sex, women, and gold.
Punk grabs the mic and says Edge's only addiction seems to be hearing his own voice.
Edge throws a punch and they all start fighting. They all fight it out tossing people from the ring until the only three left are Jeff, Matt and CM. Edge ducked out early to protect his jaw. Jeff, Matt and CM all look up the ramp at Edge who is clapping for them, mocking them. The three of them look at each other and take off up the ramp after Edge. He runs with them on his tail.

- Commercial

Slam of The Week - Last week, Cena against Benoit. Cena makes Benoit tap out with the STFU.

Maria is outback with Cena. She says she knows he and HBK are friends and partners, so what will happen at WM.
He tells her to listen closely as it's complicated. There will be briefaces, giants, pyro, (he goes on and on), and even Michael Cole. There will be billionaires, one bald as a baby's ass. Then when the smoke clears the two greatest guys in the business. It will be so epic everyone will be talking about it for years to come. Even Maria with her grandkids all around her and her boobs on her knees. She won't be talking about who had who's back or why the guys all look at each other so funny. They will all be talking about the one who won. "The champ is here!"

Video of Vince offering Lashley twice as much as Trump's paying him. Lashley says no and Vince bitch slaps him.

- Commercial

Video of Vince demading an apology from Lashley on ECW. Lashley says he's sorry he didn't beat the hell out of Vince for slapping him. He says he'll break Vince in half if he ever touches him again.

Vince's music and he comes out in black jeans and black sweat shirt. He looks over the barber's table before heading to the ring. Video of Umaga beating Eugene and then Vince shaving Eugene's head last Monday. Vince is in the ring looking proud. Lashley comes out to face him. Vince glares at Lashley before Lashley jumps up on the apron. Vince gets in the ref's face with instructions. Lashley is ready and Vince is still yelling at the ref about when to ring the bell. Vince grabs a mic and tells Lashley he's not going to embarrass him with his physical superiority. He's not going to embarrass him with his intellectual superiority. He's going to embarrass him by pinning him 1-2-3.
Vince calls for the bell and then dives from the ring. Cade and Murdoch rush in and attack Lashley. Lashley takes them both apart and dumps them from the ring and Masters enters. He can't get the masterlock on and gets beaten down. Nitro rushes in. Nitro gets beaten on a bit. Lashley side steps Masters who goes flying from the ring. Nitro then gets slammed.
Umaga and Estrada come down. Lashley starts throwing punches on Umaga but Vince comes form behind and hits a low blow on Lashley. Umaga hits a Samoan drop on Lashley and Vince covers for three.

- Winner: Vince McMahon

Umaga keeps beating on Lashley. Umaga splashes down on Lashley. Vince calls for more and Umaga pulls Lashley to a corner. Umaga hits his bum slam on Lashley, twice. Umaga then hits a Samoan spike on Lashley. Vince calls the ref back in the ring. Vince again covers Lashley for three. He makes Lillian announce him as the winner. Umaga hits another Samoan spike on Lashley.

- Commercial

Video of Vince hitting the low blow on Lashley. Then Umaga took Lashley apart so Vince could cover Lashley.

During the commercial Grisham stops Vince outback saying the win was controversial. Vince says he did what he said he was going to do, beat Lashley. This Sunday Umaga will do the same and Trump will get shaved bald. Vince says they should ask Donald. He calls 'Donald' in. Eugene walks up with a suit and a Trump wig on. Vince pulls the wig off and makes Eugene open the limo door for him. Vince pulls out leaving Eugene in tears.

Mr. Kennedy's music plays and he comes down to the ring. Orton comes down to tag with him. Matt and Jeff come down to face them.
Orton and Matt start off. Matt gets a side headlock on Orton. Matt then hits an elbow to Orton's head. Jeff tags in kicking Orton in the face as he comes over the ropes. Kennedy tags in and punches Jeff down in a corner. He then stomps Jeff. Jeff gets whipped and hits a head scossors take down on Kennedy. Jeff gets tossed from the ring and ends up crashing and burning on the front of the announce table. Orton tags in and gets a headlock on Jeff. Kennedy tags in and set Jeff up top. He hits Jeff's lower back and climbs. Jeff elbows Kennedy to the mat. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind. Orton tags in. Jeff kicks Orton and tags in Matt.
Kennedy rushes in and Matt takes them both down. Matt hits a side effect on Kennedy and then on Orton. Matt covers Orton for two until Kennedy breaks it up. Jeff enters to even the odds. Kennedy takes Jeff down slamming him into a corner. Kennedy then pushes Matt into Orton who hits an RKO on Matt for three.

- Winners: Orton & Kennedy

- Commercial

JR is announced as the next Hall of Fame inductee with a wonderful video. A lot of wrestlers use JR's famous call phrases - Benoit, Dusty, Austin and Flair. They all speak so wonderfully about the man, the best of which is Austin. Cena talks about JR's emotion and how easy it is to get caught up in it. HHH says JR says Gordon Soley was the best, but he'll look JR in the face and say he's just as good. Austin ends the video saying JR's the best ever.
King announces JR who stands up and removes his hat to HUGE pop. He slaps a lot of fans hands and wipes away a few tears before sitting back down.

Khali's music hits but JR is silent as he gathers himself. JR says he's trying to get back in battle mode, and he goes on with the night as if nothing happen - Doing the job he's so amazing at (sorry, huge JR fan here). Flair comes out to face Khali.
Flair attacks but is pushed aside. Flair hits a bunch of chops but Khali flips him with a back body drop. Flair leaves the ring and Khali follows. Khali uses one hand to move the top layer of stairs, he wraps his hands around Flair's throat. Carlito rushes out and attacks Khali from behind. Carlito and Khali enter the ring. Carlito is slammed to the mat and then flames errupt. Kane comes out with his chain and hook.
A headbutt from Khali and then a bunch of punches in a corner. Kane reverses it and throws a bunch of punches at Khali. Kane goes to get his hain and Khali leaves the ring. Kane throws the hook at Khali but it hits the bottom rope. Khali quickly leaves the area as Kane pulls the hook back in for another shot.

- Winner: Khali via DQ

- Commercial

Video of Austin's new movie.

JR and King go through the matches slated for WM.

HBK is outback and say he will beat Cena. He says Cena is like everyone else he's ever been in the ring with. Just like them all. They all stand on the other side of the ring saying they want to be the best. When they don't win they pack up and leave. HBK is still standing there. This Sunday he'll be facing Cena and HBK will be walking out champion. But as for tonight, he has Cena's back.

- Commercial

More actors and singers talking about who will end up with their head shaved this Sunday. A lot of people say they want to see Trump bald.

Cena comes down to the ring. HBK comes out to huge pop to tag with Cena. Batista comes down to the ring. GONG! HUGE pop. Gong! Undertaker comes out, raises the lights and enters the ring. taker stares at Batista while removing his trench.
Taker and Cena start. Taker throws punches to Cena in a corner but looks at Batista during the first punch. Cena fights back into the opposite corner. Cena gets whipped and then Taker hits snake eyes on Cena. HBK is in and they try to double team Taker but Taker takes them both out. Both faces are tossed from the ring as Batista enters. Taker and Batista are about to fight when Cena enters and Cena takes Taker over the top. HBK tosses Taker into the stairs. HBK again tosses Taker into the stairs while Cena is arguing with the ref. Cena leaves the ring and tosses Taker into the stairs. Back in the ring Cena covers for two but Taker uses the ropes to break the count.
HBK tags in. HBK hits a swinging neckbreaker on Taker. Cena tags in. They exchange punches but Taker hits a flying clothesline dropping Cena. Batista gets a blind tag that pisses off Taker. Taker takes down Cena on his way from the ring, but it looks as though he was aiming for Batista. Cena hits a bulldog on Batista. HBK tags in. HBK runs into Taker, hitting him on the apron and then takes down Batista. Taker enters and takes down HBK. Batista hits a spinebuster on Cena. Taker picks up HBK over his head and tosses him into Batista before Batista could Batista bomb Cena. Taker leaves the ring area in disgust. Cena takes down Batista. HBK climbs and hits a flying elbow on Batista.
HBK and Cena hit a double five knuckle shuffle on Batista. HBK suddenly hits sweet chin music on Cena! Batista gets his arm over Cena's chest and is able to cover him for three.

- Winners: Undertaker & Batista

Batista leaves the ring. HBK stares at Cena for a bit and then he leaves the ring.

- Commercial

Video of HBK hitting sweet chin music on Cena. King comments on how HBK said Cena would never see it coming.

Biggest pop
Austin
Undertaker
JR
HBK
Cena
Jeff Hardy
CM Punk
Lashley

Biggest heat
Coach
Vince
Umaga & Estrada
Edge
Khali