Submitted by Rajah on February 17, 2003 at 22:26:23

We start with video of Vince McMahon laying down the law on Bischoff, demanding that he revolutionize Raw in 30 days. Bischoff tried his best to get Stone Cold Steve Austin as the clock wound down. Tonight, Bischoff's clock strikes zero.

Eric Bischoff Interview
-The Raw music video plays, the pyros explode, and we are LIVE from Los Angeles! Eric Bischoff comes out to start the show. He has not heard from Stone Cold, and does not know if he will accept his invitation to join Raw. Vince McMahon is on his way to the arena, and as far as Bischoff knows, it may very well be to fire him. But he has done everything in his power to sign Steve Austin. He reached out in every way he could. He even went down to Texas where he was surrounded by toothless rednecks. That's why he is so glad to be back in LA, where he is surrounded by "his people." That is why he asks one thing: when Vince comes out, let him know how much we appreciate Bischoff's work. Actually, he is not asking for our support; he is demanding it. The fans boo, causing Bischoff to turn on them. He is still the boss, and until Vince shows up, he has the power to do whatever the hell he wants. He walks over to the announce booth. He tells JR to stand up. It seems JR has been helping him in his cause to get Austin back. JR agrees that he wants Stone Cold on Raw. Bischoff says that JR should have done more. JR is Austin's good friend. He could have done more, but he wanted Bischoff to be fired. It's JR's fault that Austin doesn't want to come. JR asks if Bischoff thinks Austin might just hate him. Bischoff says that he fired Austin because he deserved it, and maybe JR does too. In fact, until JR delivers Stone Cold to Bischoff, JR is fired! We cut to the back, where a limo pulls up to the Staples Center. Bischoff sees it on the TitanTron and runs off, as JR walks to the back. Fade Out.

During the break, Bischoff ran to the limo, only to find Triple H and the Evolution. Triple H asks if Bischoff was expecting anyone else.

Test vs. Christian
-In the arena, The King welcomes us back as JR has left. Test and Stacy come down to the ring. Christian comes down as we see video of last week, when Jericho mocked an appology, allowing Christian to attack Test and Stacy. Christian starts with an arm wrench, but Test clotheslines him and smashes him into the mat. Punches and elbows by Test, then stomps in the corner. Back body drop by Test, then a boot choke. Christian goes outside and takes Test down. Back inside, he hits a falling neckbreaker 1-2-kickout. The Coach takes a seat at the announce booth, saying that Bischoff ordered him to work. Elbows by Christian, but Test takes him down with a clothesline, then another. Sidewalk slam 1-2-shoulder up. Test goes for the pump handle slam, but Christian floats over and hits a reverse DDT 1-2-shoulder up. Big boot by Christian, who goes up top for a flying crossbody. Test rolls through and lifts Christian for a gorilla press slam. Test goes for the Big Boot, but Christian ducks. Test looks for the Test Drive, but Christian blocks and looks for the Unprettier. Test pushes him into the ropes and catches him with a Full Nelson Bomb 1-2-3! After the match, Christian low blows Test, then gives him an Unprettier. Stacy goes to check on him, prompting Christian to force her from the ring. Jeff Hardy runs down and runs the rails on Christian. He tosses him over the security barrier, then backs up the ring.

In the back, JR tries to call Stone Cold on a cell phone, but can not reach him. JR tells whomever he is speaking to to tell Stone Cold to contact him immediately. Fade Out.

We come back to a video recap of apparently the last time Booker T and Goldust will team up, when they were unsuccessful at regaining the Tag Titles. Booker thanked Goldust, only for Randy Orton and Batista to find a moping Goldust, and smash him into an electrical box.

Booker T vs. D'Lo Brown
-Booker comes out and takes a microphone. He is going to dedicate this match to his friend Goldust. D'Lo Brown's music interrupts Booker, as D'Lo and Theodore Long come to the ring. Teddy tells Booker to stop worrying about Goldust. His electrocution was the best thing that could happen to Booker. All Goldust was was another white man keeping the black man down. And now The Man is making them fight each other, when they should be teaming. Booker clocks D'Lo and starts beating him into the corner. Clothesline by Booker, then a reverse thrust kick 1-2-shoulder up. Knee by Booker, but he misses the Scissors kick. D'Lo catches him with a dropkick. Punches by D'Lo, but Booker hits a jumping calf kick and then the Scissors Kick 1-2-3!

In the back, Bischoff and Morley are planning for Vince's return. Jericho comes in and tells them to look at what has been going on under his nose. Jericho inadvertantly hits Stacy and Test makes him the bad guy, and gets rewarded with a match at No Way Out? That's not right. Morley cuts him off and gives him a match against Jeff Hardy to make him happy. Fade Out.

Jazz vs. Molly Holly
-Jazz takes Molly down and applies a front facelock. She gets a quick two count, then goes to work on Molly's arm. Molly cartwheels out and armdrags Jazz for two. Two arm drags by Molly, but Jazz catches her with a dropkick to the face 1-2-shoulder up. Drop toehold by Jazz, who then applies an inverted bow and arrow. Backslide by Jazz for two. Double underhook suplex by Jazz, then another, then another 1-2-kickout. Chops by Jazz. Molly sidesteps and rolls her up for two. Chops by Molly, then a clothesline, and then another. Molly goes for a boot, but Jazz catches it and takes her down. Half crab by Jazz, then she turns it into an STF for the submission victory. After the bell rings, Jazz keeps the hold in a little longer. She starts to leave, then comes back and applies the lifting double chickenwing. She applies the STF for a second time until refs pull her off.

In the back, JR recieves a phone call, and it's Steve. JR tells him that he has to go. Finkle comes over and asks about Stone Cold, but JR says that was just a friend from Oklahoma. Fade Out.

Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Three Minute Warning
-Jamal starts by scoop slamming RVD, but he misses the leg drop follow. Van Dam trips him and gets a quick two count. Back elbow by RVD, who goes up top, only for Jamal to push him out, sending him flying into the security barrier. Rico rolls RVD in the ring as Rosie tags in. Vertical splash by Rosie 1-2-kickout. Clubs by Rosie, then a choke on the ropes. Tag to Jamal, who clocks Van Dam. RVD flips over Jamal, but Rosie grabs him, allowing Jamal to superkick him 1-2-kickout. Jamal knocks Kane off the apron, allowing Rosie to come in and double team. RVD ducks and Jamal clotheslines Rosie. Tag to Kane, who clotheslines Jamal into the corner, then Big Boots Rosie. Sidewalk slam to Jamal. Kane goes up top and hits Rosie with a flying clothesline. Jamal stumbles up, and Kane looks for the chokeslam, but Rosie knocks him out. Kane pushes him off and clotheslines Jamal, then Big Boots Rosie. RVD goes up top and hits a sidekick on Jamal after tagging in 1-2-broken by Rosie. Kane knocks Rosie to the outside. Inside, RVD watches Jamal run into the turnbuckle, then hits a springboard sidekick. Kane comes in and chokeslams Jamal. Van Dam hits Rosie with a baseball slide. As RVD goes up, Kane knocks Rico off the apron and Van Dam hits the Five Star 1-2-3!

In the back, JR is still on the phone, when another limo pulls up. Out steps Vince McMahon! Vince sees JR and wonders what the hell JR is doing out there. Fade Out.

Vince McMahon Interview
-"No Chances" hits, and Vinnie Mac swaggers down to his ring, ready to make a decision on Eric Bischoff's fate. On occasion, a man of his distinction has to make difficult, heart-wrenching decisions. Tonight is not one of those decisions. No, tonight's decision is going to be sweet. This is a joyous occasion. He asks Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley to come to the ring, and they do so. Bischoff tries to speak, but Vince cuts him off. He asks if Morley remembers his telling the Chief to meet certain criteria. And Morley hasn't met that criteria, so he should be fired. But Vince won't fire him. In fact, Morley will get his chance to decide his own fate. The next match will involve Morley; if he wins, he keeps his job; if he loses, he's fired. It will be Chief Morley vs... BuhBuh, D-Von, and Spike Dudley! Vince tells Morley to go get ready for his match. Vince turns to Bischoff. He asks if Bischoff has signed Stone Cold for No Way Out, yes or no? Bischoff says Austin has all the papers, but that he hasn't signed. Wrong answer, says Vince. Vince doesn't know why Bischoff would want to sign Austin, but that's besides the point. If Bischoff had signed Austin, he would certainly have his job, because Vince wants to see Bischoff have to deal with the Rattlesnake. But since he hasn't... Bischoff interrupts and says he will do anything to keep his job. He loves this job, and despite what the fans say, he knows they love him too. Bischoff says that Vince is a man of action, and as a gesture of goodwill, he wants to give him some action... some Hot Lesbian Action! Two ladies come down to the ring. Bischoff tells them to give Vince a taste of what is in store. They start to kiss, but Bischoff tells them to wait. Bischoff tells Vince that these aren't just lesbians... they're bisexual! They grab onto Vince. Vince says that there is a time and a place for everything, but tonight he is all business, so they better bisex their way to the back. Vince asks if there are any more gifts. Bischoff asks for more time, but Vince says he has run out. And so, Eric Bischoff... YOU'RE FIRRRED! As Bischoff leaves the ring, Vince sings "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!" Fade Out.

As we return, Regal and Storm find Vince McMahon and congratulate him on his Bischoff decision. Vince says that if they think that was good, wait until he names the new Raw General Manager tonight.

Dudley Boyz vs. Chief Morley
-The Dudleys come in and jump on Morley. Spike jumps on Morley's back and brings him down, then kicks away. Morley back body drops Spike, but BuhBuh and D-Von catch him. Flapjack to Morley. BuhBuh rips Morley's shirt open and chops away. They whip Morley into the corner and take turns running into him. Samoan drop by BuhBuh. All three men look at each other and stomp away on Morley. Morley rolls to the outside. On the outside, D-Von picks Morley up and BuhBuh tosses Spike down from the ring onto him. D-Von whips Morley into the stairs, then slams him onto them. BuhBuh smashes Morley into the stairs, then picks up one piece and drives it straight into Morley's head, dropping him cold. Back in the ring, Spike hits the jumping stomp, then BuhBuh and D-Von elbow him in the face. Acid Drop to Morley, then a 3D. Spike pins 1-2-3! And with that, Chief Morley is officially fired. After the match, the fans start chanting for tables. They all push each other and demand tables. D-Von and Spike get a table and set it in the ring. BuhBuh goes second rope, grabs Morley, and BuhBuh Bombs him through the table.

In the back, Bischoff stares at JR. JR says he hasn't heard from Stone Cold. Bischoff says that nothing that has happened was meant to be personal. It was all part of the job. He extends his hand and asks to be friends, but JR tells him to go clean out his desk. Fade Out.

Batista vs. Tommy Dreamer
-Batista and Flair come down. Dreamer's music hits, but Dreamer attacks from the crowd, cracking Batista with a cane. He gets in some shots, but Batista just as quickly hits the sit-out powerbomb 1-2-3! Booker T runs down and cracks Flair. He starts beating down on Batista. Randy Orton runs down, and he and Batista are able to overpower Booker. Triple H hobbles down and starts beating on a held Booker T. Steiner runs down and into the ring. Triple H escapes, but Orton, Flair and Batista aren't as lucky. Triple H threatens to hit Steiner with a crutch, but runs out in fear instead. Fade Out.

In the back, Jeff Hardy finds Shawn Michaels. He walks up to Shawn, nods, and walks off.

In the back, Test asks Stacy what Jeff Hardy was doing earlier. Stacy doesn't know, but she's proud of how his career is taking off. She has set up a meeting with GGW. She doesn't know what it is, but they say they offer great exposure.

In the back, Eric Bischoff is taking things down from his office and throwing them into boxes. The Dudleys come in, BuhBuh holding a belt. Bischoff tries to compliment them, saying he never had anything but respect for them. They sing him goodbye. Fade Out.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy
-The Y2J Countdown hits 0.00, and out comes the Ayatollah, the Living Legend, the King of the World, Chris Jericho. Jeff comes down for this match, after having beaten up on Christian earlier tonight. Jericho starts with a headlock takedown, then an arm wrench. Jericho flips out of the hold and reverses it, but Jericho does the same. Jeff starts smacking Jericho, hitting a back bodydrop. Headscissors by Jeff 1-kickout. Jericho chokes Jeff with his shirt, then chops away. Jericho tosses Jeff over the top. Jericho jumps after him, but Jeff sidesteps. Jeff jumps from the apron and smashes into Jericho. He tosses Jericho into the stairs. Back in the ring, Jeff takes Jericho down with a dropkick, then goes up top. Jericho grabs Hebner and pushes him into the ropes, 'buckling Jeff. Jericho appologizes to Hebner, then starts elbowing the still buckled Jeff in the head. Jericho goes up with him, hitting a Superplex 1-2-shoulder up. Jericho slams down Jeff, then hits a backbreaker, and another. He wrenches Jeff's back over his knee. Jeff starts fighting back, going for a Sunset Flip. Jericho rolls through and looks for the Walls, but Jeff takes him down with his legs 1-2-shoulder up. Clothesline by Jericho. He chokes Jeff on the ropes, then knees him down. Snapmare by Jericho, into a reverse chin lock. Jeff elbows out, then rams Jericho shoulder-first into the ringpost. Flying forearm by Jeff, then a knee-to-face. Swinging neckbreaker by Jeff 1-2-shoulder up. Front dropkick by Jericho 1-2-kickout. Chops by Jericho. Jeff backs him into the ref, then hits the Whisper in the Wind 1-2-shoulder up. Jericho suddenly trips Jeff up and straps in the Walls of Jericho, but Jeff gets to the ropes. Jeff back body drops Jericho over the top, but Jericho grabs onto the ropes. He pulls Jeff down and goes up top, but Jeff tosses him from the top rope. Now it is Jeff who goes up top, and hits the Swanton Bomb 1-2-foot on the ropes. Jeff goes for a hurricanrana, but Jericho blocks and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Jeff tries to crawl across the ring, but Jericho pulls him into the center, forcing Jeff to tap out.

In the back, Vince sees Triple H and friends. They start to leave. Vince asks them where they're going, and Flair says they're going out on the town. Trips says at least they know how to deal with lesbians. Vince says that he's about to go to the ring and announce the new Raw GM, and they might want to see who it is. Oh, and next week, it will be Triple H and Batista facing Booker T and Scott Steiner. Fade Out.

Vince McMahon Announces New Raw GM
-As we return, Vince is in the ring, ready to get started. We fired one General Manager, and it's time to hire another. This man is qualified, fair, and someone who the fans should like. So here is the new General Manager of Raw... Jim Ross starts walking out down the ramp, but Vince says it's not him. Bischoff soon follows, and Vince looks upset. JR tells Vince that he can confirm that Austin will be at No Way Out. And since Stone Cold is reinstated, that means JR is reinstated. JR goes up to take his rightful place at the announce booth. Bischoff stays in the ring. Vince says he probably thinks that, since Austin is returning, he and Morley should get their jobs back. Well then, Vince gives Bischoff his job back as Raw General Manager. Vince begins to leave, but then remembers that Bischoff said he would do anything to get his job back. Well then maybe Bischoff should join a club. Bischoff is going to join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club. Vince starts undoing his pants, as Bischoff looks on in disgust. Vince drops his pants and pulls down his underwear, with long, unnecessary shots of Vince's ass. Bischoff starts to bend down, but can't bring himself to do it. Bischoff gets a mic and says that he can't do it. Vince puts his pants back on as Bischoff reiterates his inability to kiss Vince's ass. Vince says that if he won't join that club, there's a new one that he better join: the Get My Ass Kicked Club. Bischoff says that if that's what has to happen, he'll do it. Well then, at No Way Out, Eric Bischoff will have a match. And that match will be against... Stone Cold Steve Austin! End Show.

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