Submitted by Rajah on March 24, 2003 at 23:57:08
"Tonight's Raw is dedicated to the men and women in the armed forces of the United States of America"
We begin by finding Eric Bischoff standing center stage. He announces tonight's Main Event: Eric Bischoff vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin. But unlike No Way Out, tonight's match is going to be a Lumberjack Match. Oh, and the lumberjacks are going to be comprised of every single Superstar on the Raw roster. And if any of them don't want to be lumberjacks, they're fired. Bischoff has one last thing to say to Stone Cold: good luck.
Chief Morely & Lance Storm vs. Kane & Rob Van Dam
-The Raw music video plays, the pyros explode, and we are LIVE in Saint Louis, Missouri! We start with Rob Van Dam and Kane taking on Chief Morley and Lance Storm. Morley announces that he is fighting with Storm because Regal still has not recovered from his concussion. He also announces that if the Dudleys are involved in this match in any way, there will be hell to pay. Chief Morley and Kane start, with Morley scoring a boot and a few punches. Shoulder block by Kane, but Morley beats him into the corner. Kane reverses the positioning and lays into Morley. Big boot by Morley, but Kane clotheslines him down. Kane scoops Morley up, tags RVD and powerslams Morley. Van Dam goes up top and hits a leg drop 1-2-shoulder up. Step-over heel kick by RVD, followed by a reverse Rolling Thunder. Van Dam goes for a monkey flip, but Morley drops him on the ropes. Tag to Storm. Spinning heel kick by RVD 1-2-shoulder up. Morley cheapshots Van Dam and holds him. Storm attacks, but hits Morley inadvertantly. Van Dam hits a monkey flip, but Morley again grabs him, allowing Storm to hit a DDT 1-2-shoulder up. Tag to Morley. Clothesline by Morley for a two count. Van Dam runs into Morley's spinebuster. Morley applies an abdominal stretch, but Van Dam rolls him up for a two count. Tag to Kane and Storm. Kane hits a clothesline, then another, then a third. Big Boot by Kane, then a back body drop to Morley. Sidewalk slam to Storm, then a clothesline to Morley that sends him out of the ring. Kane goes up top and hits Storm with the flying clothesline. He locks in the choke, but Morley kicks him from behind, and he and Storm hit a double DDT on Kane. Van Dam flies off the top and hits a flying clothesline on Storm. Rolling Thunder to Morley, as Storm stumbles into Kane's chokeslam 1-2-3!
After the match, Van Dam goes up top for a Five Star on Morley, but the Chief rolls out of the ring in time. As he backs up the ramp, the Dudleys grab him and toss him back into the ring. Van Dam and Kane corner Morley while the Dudleys set up the table. The Dudleys come to the corner, and attack Van Dam and Kane from behind! BuhBuh knocks Van Dam out of the ring and then 3D Kane! The Dudleys leave the ring as Morley looks on in disbelief. Fade Out.
In the back, the Dudleys tell Chief Morley that they were given an ultimatum, and they have unfortunately chosen to join the Bischoff/Morley administration. They don't like it, but they have to do it to earn their money and feed their families. Morley welcomes them to the administration and shakes their hands, saying that their suspension is officially over.
Triple H Interview
-In the arena, World Heavyweight Champion Triple H comes to the ring, in wrestling attire even though he has no scheduled match. It's hard to be right all the time, but once again, he was right. He told the world that Booker T doesn't deserve to have a shot at the Title, and then Booker went and proved it last week. A Champion doesn't attack anyone from behind. That's why he is standing in the ring, waiting for Booker to come down and stand face-to-face. Booker is nothing but a common street thug. We go to widescreen as Goldust comes to the ring for the first time since his electrocution. Goldust congratulates Triple H on his Oscar-worthy performance. Triple H must be feeling pretty confident right now, but deep down, in the cock-cock-cockles of his heart, he is weary. At WrestleMania-a-a-a-a, he will find out that he can't judge a book by its c-c-c-c-cornbread. Trips and Flair laugh. When it's all said and done, and Triple H loses his World T-T-Title, he will never-- Triple H cuts him off and mocks Goldust. In return, Goldust clocks Trips and Flair, but can't hold them off for long. Triple H and Flair begin beating on Goldust. Trips sets him for the Pedigree when Booker T runs down. Booker saves Goldust and beats Flair into the corner. He turns and attacks Triple H, but Flair leaps onto his back. Booker shakes him off and hits the scissors kick to Triple H. He superkicks Flair and backbody drops him while Goldust clotheslines Triple H out of the ring. Flair tries to leave, but Booker pulls him back in and goes for a scissors kick, but Triple H pulls Flair out. Fade Out.
In the back, Triple H throws stuff around in his dressing room. He tells Flair to tell Bischoff that if they are going to be lumberjacks, he wants to fight Goldust first.
Maven vs. Rico
-In the arena, Maven comes down, followed by Rico and his friends Rosie and Jamal. Rico starts with a throw, but Maven drop toeholds him. Rico ducks under a clothesline, but gets caught with a clothesline. Armbar by Maven. We cut to a shot of the Rock arriving in the arena. Back in the arena, Rico kicks Maven in the back of the head. Rico distracts the ref, allowing Jamal to guillotine Maven on the ropes. Spinning heel kick by Rico 1-2-kickout. Rico hits a falling neckbreaker, then stands on Maven's neck. After a two count, Rico applies a neck wrench, but Maven elbows out, only for Rico to hit another falling neckbreaker 1-2-kickout. Elbow drop by Rico, who goes second rope, but misses this elbow drop. Maven twists Rico's elbow, then hits a shoulderbreaker. Clotheslines by Maven, followed with a back bodydrop. Maven goes second rope for a flying bulldog 1-2-shoulder up. Maven looks for the dropkick, but Rosie pulls Rico out of the way. As Rico thanks Rosie, Maven rolls him up 1-2-3! Maven quickly leaves the ring before Rosie or Jamal can get him.
In the back, Terri is outside Stone Cold's dressing room, waiting for an interview, when Shawn Michaels comes up and enters the room. Fade Out.
As we return, Stone Cold and Shawn Michaels are talking. Michaels tells Stone Cold that it was cold, but now it's hot again. Austin asks if that's why he came, but Michaels says no. He wanted to tell Austin straight-up that Bischoff is forcing him to be a lumberjack. Austin brings up that Jericho will be a lumberjack, which Michaels counters with the fact that Rock will be one as well. Austin starts thinking that Michaels is just here to stir the pot.
In the back, Teddy Long calls over The Rock and shows him the new Raw magazine. Rock demands to know why The Hurricane is on the cover. Teddy tells Rock not to worry because his boy Rodney Mack will beat Hurricane next. Mack comes up and Rock looks him over, saying he'll see if the Hurricane gets taken care of. Fade Out.
Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack
-Hurricane starts with a roll up but doesn't even get a one. Shoulder block by Mack, then another. Hurricane catches him with a flying forearm. Teddy gets on the apron, allowing Mack to clothesline Hurricane. Powerslam by Mack 1-2-shoulder up. Mack smashes Hurricane into the turnbuckles, then goes second rope for a diving shoulder tackle. Elbow drop by Mack, then another 1-2-shoulder up. Hurricane hits a neckbreaker, then punches away. Head scissors by Hurricane, then the Shining Wizard. He goes up top and hits a flying crossbody 1-2-kickout. Elbow by Helms, who goes second rope for the sommersault neckbreaker. He calls for the chokeslam, but The Rock runs down. Helms beats away on Rock, but Rock catches him with a DDT. As the DQ bell sounds, Rock tosses Helms out of the ring. Outside, he wishbones Helms around the security barrier, then punches low. Rock grabs a chair and beats Helms in the back repeatedly. Fade Out.
Jazz & Trish Stratus vs. Victoria & Steven Richards
-Jazz and Victoria start off, with Victoria slapping Jazz. Jazz takes the slap and punches Victoria down. Victoria kicks Jazz in the gut and hits a powerslam 1-2-shoulder up. Shoulder thrusts by Victoria, but Jazz hits a dropkick to the back of the head. Running powerslam by Jazz 1-2-shoulder up. Straight punches by Jazz, then a punch to the gut. Tag to Trish. Victoria rakes Trish's eyes, then chops away. Trish comes back with a diving clothesline for a two count. Clothesline by Trish, then a dropkick, then a spinning heel kick 1-2-kickout. Chops by Trish, then a boot to the gut. Trish goes up on Victoria's back, but Victoria slams her into the mat. Backflip splash by Victoria 1-2-shoulder up. Victoria holds Trish while Stevie goes second rope. Trish goes around Victoria and tosses her into Stevie, 'bucling him. Trish hurricanranas Stevie, but Victoria attacks her from behind. Hairtoss by Victoria, then a back wrench. Victoria goes on the apron for a sommersault legdrop over the ropes, but Trish rolls out of the way. Tag to Stevie, who looks for a Bronco Buster, but Trish rolls away again. Trish crawls to the corner, but Jazz pulls her hand away. Jazz walks off, leaving Trish in shock. She turns into Stevie's powerbomb. Tag to Victoria, who comes in and hits the Widow's Peak 1-2-3!
After the match, Stevie grabs Trish in a headlock while Victoria goes to get a chair. Jeff Hardy runs down to save Trish. He hits Stevie with a double legdrop. Victoria grabs Jeff, but Jeff backs her into the corner, where Stevie inadvertantly splashes her. Jeff goes up top for a Swanton on Victoria, but Stevie pulls Victoria to safety. As Stevie and Victoria back up the ramp, Jeff helps Trish up and steals a kiss. Fade Out.
In the back, The Coach asks Chris Jericho about Shawn Michaels adding to his WrestleMania highlight reel this year. Jericho agrees that his WrestleMania career is one that few could hope to match. Jericho used to dream that he was Shawn Michaels. But now, his dream is to end Michaels' career. Christian comes up and tells Jericho that they have a tag match against Michaels and a mystery partner. Fade Out.
In the back, Stacy tells Test that she has convinced someone to team with him against Christian and Jericho. He says he'll need a few moments alone to get ready. As Stacy walks off, Test picks up his copy of Torrie Wilson's Playboy.
Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Test & Scott Steiner
-In the arena, the Y2J Countdown hits 0.00 and out comes the Ayatollah, the Rock Star, the Living Legend, the King of the World, Chris Jericho. Oh, and Christian, too. Test and Stacy come out, followed by his partner, Scott Steiner. Test jumps on Jericho and beats him down. Eventually Jericho is able to tag in Christian, so Test makes sure to tag in Steiner. Steiner picks up Christian and rams him into the turnbuckles, then powerslams him. Tag to Test. Christian trips up Test and starts with mounted punches. Tag to Jericho. Jericho hits a thump, then stomps on Test's head. Tag to Chrstian. Christian knocks Test to his knees, but Test explodes up with a clothesline. Tag to Steiner, who hits a clothesline, then another. Christian leaps into the air, so Steiner catches him and slams him down. Jericho runs in, but Steiner beats him into the corner. Millitary press slam to Christian, then a side belly-belly to Jericho. Overhead belly-belly to Christian 1-2-shoulder up. Steiner grabs Christian in a waist lock, but Christian grabs Earl Hebner, allowing Jericho to low blow Steiner. Jericho tags in and mocks Steiner's push-ups. Chops to Steiner, but Big Poppa Pump catches Jericho and hits an overhead belly-belly. Tag to Test. Test hits a clothesline, then another, then a back bodydrop. Sidewalk slam to Christian, followed with a clothesline. Jericho hits a big boot, but Test catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam 1-2-kickout. Test lifts Jericho up, but Christian takes out Test's knees, allowing Jericho to apply the Walls on Test. Steiner tosses Christian out of the ring, but Jericho lays him out. Test hits Jericho with a pump handle slam 1-2-broken by Christian. Jericho goes for the Lionsault on Test, but he rolls away and Steiner catches Jericho with an overhead belly-belly 1-2-kickout. Christian chases Stacy around the ring, but Steiner takes him out. Stacy takes refuge on the apron, but gets bumped off. Steiner catches her, causing Test to turn and question what is going on. Jericho rolls him up 1-2-3! Fade Out.
Goldust vs. Triple H
-Goldust starts with a shot to Triple H, who starts to realize Goldust won't be a push-over. He talks to Goldust, who cracks him again, this time knocking Trips down. They circle each other for a boxing match, with Goldust scoring multiple jabs. They finally start wrestling as Goldust hits a thump. Trips comes back with a clothesline. Goldust hits a back bodydrop, but his arm starts shaking. Trips takes the opportunity to ram him into the ringpost. He picks up Goldust and does it again, then hits a shoulderbreaker on the arm 1-2-shoulder up. Arm wrench by Triple H, but Goldust starts fighting back until Triple H clotheslines him down. Trips goes over and taunts Booker T, allowing Goldust to start fighting up from his knees. Big boot by Goldust, but Triple H looks for a Pedigree. Goldust reverses and rolls Trips up 1-2-shoulder up. Exchange of punches, but Goldust scores a clothesline, then another. Uppercut by Goldust, followed with an atomic drop 1-2-shoulder up. Triple H ducks a clothesline and tosses Goldust outside. On the outside, Flair stomps on Goldust, causing Booker T to come over and start beating the hell out of Flair. A fan reaches over and clocks Booker with a crutch, revealing himself to be Randy Orton. Back in the ring, Goldust hits a bulldog, then goes for the 10 Punch. He sets Trips up for Shattered Dreams, but his arm starts acting up, allowing Triple H to escape the ropes and hit a high knee. Pedigree to Goldust 1-2-3!
Eric Bischoff is warming up when Rock comes in with his guitar, singing a song about beating Hurricane. Rock shows off his Willie Nelson-signed guitar. Rock tells Bischoff that he has a big idea. A Rock Concert: just the Rock and his guitar, singing for the fans. Bischoff asks if he wants to do it here in St. Louis, but Rock says hell no, these fans don't deserve it. Next week in Sacramento, he wants to do a little Evening With The Rock. Bischoff agrees and asks if he'll have Rock's help in the Lumberjack match. Rock says that having all those guys around the ring will make Bischoff look weak. He tells Bischoff to change it to a No DQ match which will let Bischoff hold off Austin long enough for the Rock to beat him down. Bischoff is reluctant, but Rock sings him a song about whooping Austin's ass to convince him.
Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin
-Bischoff won't get in the ring with Austin, so Austin goes outside and chases him around the ring. Chief Morley steps up, but Stone Cold just clotheslines him down. He stomps away on Morley before going back to Bischoff. He picks up Bischoff and rolls him back into the ring. Inside, Stone Cold stomps a mudhole in Bischoff, then applies the Boston Crab, but Chief Morley gets on the apron and Austin breaks the hold. Austin goes to stomp on Bischoff, but Morley runs in and lowblows Austin. Bischoff stomps on Austin and chokes him with the ropes. Austin comes back by going to the stomps again. Morley gets on the apron, but Austin knocks him off. Stunner to Bischoff! Morley runs in, but Austin tosses him right out. The Rock runs down as Austin deals with Morley and catches Austin with a Stunner of his own! BIschoff crawls over and pins 1-2-shoulder up! Rock runs back to the ring in disbelief. He stomps on Austin and goes for the People's Elbow, but Austin rolls away in time. Austin beats Rock to the ropes, then clothelsines him over. Stunner to Morley! Stunner to Bischoff 1-2-3!
After the match, Rock comes in and gives Austin the finger before giving him a Rock Bottom. He grabs some of Austin's beers and takes them up the ramp. He sips as he watches Austin laying on the mat. End Show.
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