Submitted by Rajah on July 14, 2003 at 23:03:45

After two weeks of lengthy illness, I, Dan the Man, return to bring you the best damn Raw Play-by-Play on this new-fangled Internet contraption. We start with video from last week, running through Kane's personal troubles with his unmasking and his way of dealing with it: chokeslamming Eric Bischoff.

In the arena, Raw Co-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to the ring. He took some time off with food poisoning, and when you have six Mexican microwave dinners on top of it, you don't feel too good. In between trips to the bathroom and the fridge, he saw Eric Bischoff get chokeslammed to hell, and it made him feel better. Bischoff won't be here tonight, which means it's Stone Cold's Show. There is a referee in the ring, and that means there's a match ready to happen. It's not just any match; it's an Intercontinental Title match.

Booker T vs. Christian (Intercontinental Title Match)
Booker T comes out to challenge for Christian's Title. Christian comes out on the ramp and says that he is better than Booker T, no matter what. So the ref may as well start counting, because he's out of here. Austin tells the ref that the Title can change hands on a count-out. Christian says that the match isn't official until he gets in the ring. Austin runs up the ramp and tosses him in the ring. Booker starts with hard forearms, then stomps. Back body drop by Booker, into mounted punches. Back elbow by Booker, sending Christian outside. Christian tries to leave, but Booker pulls him back in, despite Austin's previous ruling. Now Christian begins showing signs of life, thrusting his shoulder into Booker's stomach. Sidewalk slam by Booker for a two count. Booker goes for a 10 Punch, but Christian brings him down and gets an early pin. Christian applies a sleeper, but Booker fights up, only to run into Christian's low knee 1-2-kickout. After some more brawling, Booker hits the Scissor Kick and pins Christian. Christian gets his foot on the rope, but the ref counts 1-2-3! Almost immediately after counting three, the ref sees Christian's foot and starts waving his arms. He goes outside and tells Lillian Garcia to announce that he has reversed his decision and the match will continue. Fade Out.

As we return, Christian is in charge with a sleeper and the momentum. Two count for Christian. More punches from Christian, but he runs into Booker's powerslam. Clothesline by Booker, then a sidewalk slam 1-2-shoulder up. Christian floats over a suplex, but Booker flapjacks him onto the ropes, then the Book End 1-2-shoulder up. Booker leapfrogs Christian and rolls him up for a two count. Spinning heel kick by Booker, who goes up top, only for Christian to 'buckle him. Christian goes up for a Superplex, but Booker blocks him and hits a missile dropkick 1-2-shoulder up. Booker takes some time to hit the Spinaroonie. He kicks Christian in the gut and goes for the scissors kick, but Christian pushes the ref in the way and low blows Booker. Schoolboy by Christian 1-2-kickout. Christian grabs the belt, but Booker ducks and boots him in the gut. Scissors kick by Booker 1-2-3! Booker T has won the Intercontinental Title!

In the back, Stone Cold is watching the celebration when an official runs up and tells him that he is needed quickly. Fade Out.

As we return, Tommy Dreamer is unconcious and covered in blood in the lockerroom as the Dudleys yell at officials and medical technicians. Stone Cold comes in and demands to know what happened.

Coming up on tonight's Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel: Shawn Michaels answers questions about the Survivor Series Screwjob.

In the arena, Teddy Long leads out Rodney Mack and Rosey. Teddy talks about how Jazz's Title was taken from her without her being eliminated. Chris Nowinski has been sidelined with a concussion. But despite all The Man's attempts at keeping them down, Rodney Mack and Rosey are going to stay down with the brown.

We cut to the back, where Dreamer is being led on a stretcher into an ambulance. The Coach asks BuhBuh if he knows who did it, and BuhBuh says he has a good idea.

The Hurricane vs. Rosey
As we return, The Hurricane comes out to take on Rosey. Rodney Mack tries to grab him, but Helms stomps on his fingers. Rosey brings Helms down and hits a legdrop. Elbows by Rosey, but Helms starts swinging back. Helms goes second rope and hits sommersault neckbreaker. Shining Wizard to Rodney Mack. Helms goes up top, but Rosey grabs him and hits a Samoan Drop 1-2-3!

After the match, Teddy Long comes in and apparently tells Rosey to keep attacking. Rosey grabs Long and throws him into the corner. Rodney Mack comes in to beat on Rosey. Outside, Mack whips Rosey into the stairs. Mack gets Teddy and helps his mentor to the back.

In the back, BuhBuh berates Ric Flair and Randy Orton for allegedly beating up Tommy Dreamer. Flair and Orton deny any involvement. Austin tells BuhBuh to get a partner so he can take out his anger. BuhBuh leaves, and Austin again asks if Flair or Orton was involved. They again deny it, when Jackie Gayda runs up, screaming that something has happened to Rico. Fade Out.

During the break, Stone Cold found a horribly bruised Rico slumped over some boxes. He asks who did it, and Rico says that he thinks it was Kane.

Victoria and Stevie Richards vs. Gail Kim and Val Venis
Victoria and Stevie come out, followed by Women's Champ Gail Kim. Her partner will be Val Venis, and Gail seems quite happy to help Val with his towel. The ladies start, with Victoria hitting a shoulder thrust in the corner and following it with a screaming press slam. Springboard crossbody by Kim, then a headscissors. Monkey flip by Kim, and a bridge 1-2-shoulder up. Punches by Kim. Victoria makes a tag and Stevie comes in, but not before Kim can slap him. Val is forced to enter, and takes Richards down. Victoria trips up Val, allowing Richards to DDT Venis 1-2-kickout. Sleeper by Val Venis, into a slam. Tag to Victoria and Kim. Armdrag by Kim, then another. Rope-running armdrag by Kim. Victoria lifts Kim up, but Kim beats her to the mat. Stevie tries for an elbow drop, but Kim rolls away and Richards hits his partner. Val spinebsuters Richards and the men battle outside. In the ring, Kim hits a standing hurricanrana 1-2-3!

In the back, Ivory gives Trish Stratus some advice, when Test walks up on her. He says that he's single again, and he's been making a list of chicks with a chance of hooking up with him, and she's number one. Trish says no thanks, based on the way he treated Stacy. Test grabs her, saying he doesn't take no for an answer. Kevin Nash walks up and tells Test to try taking on someone bigger than him. Fade Out.

Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel with Guest: Shawn Michaels
Jericho is glad that the crowd is here to see Canada's greatest athlete. They're going to see Shawn Michaels finally face the music. In this arena six years ago, Shawn Michaels committed an act of treason against every Canadian citizen when he knowingly screwed Bret Hart out of the World Title. The Jeritron 5000 plays the infamous Survivor Series Screwjob, when Vince, Shawn and Earl carried out their own ending to Bret's match. Every time Jericho sees that footage, it makes his blood boil. But tonight, Shawn Michaels will give his overdue appology. Jericho introduces Michaels, and the Heartbreak Kid emerges to surprisingly less boos than one might expect. Shawn says that he's glad that he has this opportunity. He has publically appologized to Bret Hart and everyone else, but he has never done it for the fans in Montreal. He will always be very sorry that the situation ever had to happen. But he is most sorry that these people haven't been able to get on with their lives. All over the world, no one cares about what happened in 1997. Montreal remains the only place when time has not moved. The fans chant that he screwed Bret, but Michaels says it was his job. It is time for everyone to move on. Jericho tells him to hold on. No one believes the crap he's spewing. This is about 1997. You can't just forget it ever happened. Shawn says all he wants is for the people to pick something else to hate him for. They could hate him for beating Chris Jericho; at least that happened within the past year. Jericho says that they'll never forget what Shawn did. He put a black eye on this industry, and they will never forget it. Michaels asks if Jericho is now Mr. Canada. Jericho soaks up the applause this brings, but Michaels questions why Mr. Canada lives in Florida. Jericho tries to get back to Survivor Series. Michaels says that if Jericho is that upset, why not have a match right here and now? Jericho denies the match. As much as he loves Montreal, the economy is horrible in this country. To wrestle Shawn in Canada would be like wrestling for free. That's why he moved to America in the first place. But why not fight in a place a little more suiting: two weeks from now in Hollywood, California. Michaels offers the match again, but Jericho again denies. The fans begin to turn on Jericho. Jericho tells them that just like Michaels screwed Bret in 1997, right now he says Screw Montreal.

In the back, The Coach asks Stone Cold how he's going to stop the rampages. Austin tells him to go call 911 if he wants. Austin is a smart man, and he can handle the situation himself. Austin enters his office, when his chair turns, revealing Kane waiting for him. Fade Out.

In the back, Austin is still with Kane, saying that he can not quit. Does he want to quit because he thinks people are laughing at him? That's pathetic. He thought Tommy Dreamer and Rico were laughing at him so he beat them to hell? That's cowardly. Austin tried to motivate Kane, turn him back into a monster, but he doesn't need this. He doesn't want Kane to kill his Superstars backstage; he wants him to kill his Superstars in the ring. Hell, after what Kane did to Bischoff, these fans won't laugh or boo; they'll cheer him. He can go out with Stone Cold and listen to the fans cheer him, or he can stay back here and quit. Austin tells Kane to leave, which he does, leaving an odd bloodstain on the wall.

Kevin Nash vs. Test
In the ring, Kevin Nash and Test lock up. Clothesline in the corner by Nash, followed with elbow after elbow. Nash clotheslines Test over the ropes. On the outside, Test is able to shove Nash into the ringpost to even up the damage. In the ring, Test stomps away on Nash. He undoes the turnbuckle padding, causing Trish Stratus to run down. She tries to tell the ref about the padding, but Test grabs her. He shoves Trish into Nash, then catches him with a Big Boot 1-2-3! After the match, Test pulls Trish out of the ring, then shoves her into the security barrier.

In the back, Terri finds the new IC Champ Booker T. Before tonight, he was just the five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW Champion. Now he's the new Intercontinental Champion, and he's inviting Terri and all of Montreal for a night out on the town. Can you dig that? Fade Out.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Jindrak
Jindrak locks up with Jericho, but Jericho clocks him in the face. Sidekick by Jericho, followed with a bulldog. Jericho goes for an early Lionsault, but Jindrak gets the knees up. Clothesline by Jindrak, then another. Back bodydrop by Jindrak, followed with a dropkick 1-kickout. Jericho ducks a crossbody, which locks Jindrak on the ropes. Jericho kicks Jindrak off the ropes and to the outside. Out of the ring, Jindrak whips Jericho into the stairs. Back in the ring, Jindrak smashes Jericho's face into the mat. Jericho slides under Jindrak and goes for the Walls, but Jindrak is able to kick him away. Tilt-a-whirl by Jindrak 1-2-shoulder up. Big boot by Jericho, but Jindrak catches him with a springboard clothesline for a two count. Jindrak catapults Jericho into the turnbuckles, then slams him to the mat 1-2-foot on the ropes. Punches by Jindrak, but Jericho gets a lowblow. He turns Jindrak over and applies the Walls of Jericho for the submission victory.

After the match, Jericho tells Shawn Michaels that this is what will happen to HBK in two weeks in Hollywood when he gets his WrestleMania revenge. Fade Out.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus (#1 Contenders Match)
Molly goes right after Trish, taking off her outer shirt and choking her with it. Hairtoss by Molly, then a snapmare. Neckbreaker by Molly 1-2-shoulder up. Neck wrench applied by Molly, but Trish fights out with elbows. Swinging neckbreaker by Molly 1-2-shoulder up. Molly applies a reverse chinlock, then chokes Trish on the ropes. Trish leaps over Molly and rolls her up for two. Backslide by Trish for another two, and a roll-up for another two count. Chops by Trish, but Molly hits another snapmare 1-2-shoulder up. Molly grabs Trish and hits a shoulderbreaker, then again wrenches back on Trish's neck, this time securing the submission victory! Molly gets a Titleshot next week.

In the back, Stone Cold turns around, bumping right into Kane. He again asks Kane whether he will quit or go out to face the fans. Kane merely replies that he will do it. Fade Out.

Randy Orton and Ric Flair vs. Buh Buh Ray Dudley and TBA
Flair and Orton come out to the ring. The D-Bombs drop and BuhBuh comes out, despite the fact that his reason for desiring this match has since been proven false. Nevertheless, he calls on his partner: Rob Van Dam. Orton and RVD start off, with RVD hitting a back elbow and springboard crossbody for an early two. Backflip splash by RVD 1-2-shoulder up. Boot by RVD, then a spinning heel kick. Flair grabs RVD's leg, allowing Orton to hit a falling neckbreaker. Tag to Flair. Chops by Flair, but RVD fires back with punches. Hiptoss by Flair, who tags in Orton. Orton knocks Van Dam down before he can tag 1-2-shoulder up. Van Dam floats over Orton and hits a step-over heel kick. He reaches for BuhBuh, but Orton leaps and knocks Dudley off the apron. Tag to Flair. Flair comes in and applies the Figure Four, but RVD gets to the ropes. Flair goes for the submission again, but Van Dam rolls him up for one. Tag to Orton. Orton with a knee smash, then some uppercuts. Van Dam comes back with a spinning heel kick. Tag to BuhBuh and Flair. Shoulder to Flair. Clothesline to Orton and Flair. Flair comes back with chops, but BuhBuh hits some of his own and back bodydrops Flair. Back bodydrop to Orton, then a sidewalk slam to Flair 1-2-broken by Orton. Falling neckbreaker to Orton, then punches to Flair. Splash in the corner to Flair, then an Atomic Drop to Orton. Flair pokes BuhBuh in the eye and goes up top, but BuhBuh grabs him and tosses him to the mat 1-2-broken by Orton. BuhBuh kicks Flair away and clotheslines Orton out of the ring. Tag to RVD, who goes up for a leaping spin kick to Flair 1-2-broken by Orton. BuhBuh knocks Orton out of the ring again, and takes Flair down. RVD goes up top. Randy Orton grabs him, but Spike Dudleys rushes down and knocks Orton away. Van Dam regains his footing and hits the Five Star 1-2-3! Fade out.

Kane Faces the Fans
The glass breaks, and Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to the ring. He has been talking with Kane all night long, but there has been enough talking. The fans can cheer him or boo him or do whatever they want. But if Kane comes out, it shows a lot of guts to Stone Cold. BOOM! The fires of hell explode, and the Big Unmasked Machine comes to the ring, still taking Tazz's dressing advice with the towel on the head. Austin smiles widely at Kane's appearance as the fans cheer wildly. Austin says that this is exactly what he thought would happen. No one gives a damn what Kane looks like; they care about what he does in the ring. They want to see him step in the ring and throw carcasses around like there's no tomorrow. It's time for Kane to get back--no, to climb higher than he ever has been. Stone Cold asks if the fans want to see him open up more cans of whoop-ass, and they reply with a hell yeah. Austin rolls footage of Kane chokeslamming Bischoff to the floor. Austin says that it was funny. Kane, doing his worst Joe Pesci, asks if Austin finds him funny. Austin tries to say that he wasn't saying Kane was funny, but that what he did was funny. Kane screams that Austin isn't supposed to make fun of him. With that, Kane starts beating the Co-GM into the corner and down to the mat. Austin starts regaining control, knocking Kane out of the ring. Outside, he nails Kane with a chairshot. In the ring, Austin gives the bleeding Kane a Stunner. Austin calls for a beer, but by the time he gets it, Kane sits up and chokeslams him into the mat. End Show.

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