Submitted by Rajah on September 02, 2003 at 04:31:09

Well, well, well...look who it is.

Hello again everyone and WELcome BACK to the Office of the Journalistic Excellence. I am still you host Jason and this is still YOUR rajah.com RAW report. Strap in folks, 'cause this ain't Velocity or Heat. Here we go...

Less than 24 removed from Summer Slam 2003, we begin with footage of referees and officials helping a wounded Goldberg from the Elimination Chamber following his post-match mugging at the hands of Evolution.

The opening music and graphics roll and we are LIVE the University of Arizona at Tucson. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler will have the call as Goldberg makes his way to the ring.

Goldberg Interview
-The crowds chants Goldberg's name as Bill takes the stick. Goldberg wastes no time in addressing Triple H, saying The Game's World Heavyweight Championship belongs to him. He calls Hunter out and here comes Evolution. Triple H clarifies that Goldberg is challenging him for the World Heavyweight Title tonight. "That's right," says Goldberg. Hunter takes his shirt off and says Goldberg isn't better then he is, why doesn't Bill get it? Hunter went through the top five guys in the business last night and he's the best wrestler in the world today. Goldberg vows to stalk Triple H until he gets the one-on-one match he wants. Make no mistake about it Hunter; Goldberg will beat your ass to death. What makes Goldberg think he's different, Triple H has beaten everyone who though they were special. If it wasn't for Randy Orton and Ric Flair pulling Hunter off Goldberg last night, he'd be dead now. Hunter says Goldberg can have his one-on-one for the World Heavyweight Championship at Unforgiven...with one stipulation. If Hunter beats Goldberg at Unforgiven, Goldberg can never wrestle ANYwhere ever again. "You're on!" says Goldberg. There we go, folks. It's booked.

In the back, Trish Stratus limbers up and heads for the ring.

Commercial

Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim
-Gail is lying in wait near the ring and ambushes Trish before she can get to the ring. Gail throws Trish into the ring and referee Chad Patton calls for the bell to officially start the match. Kim gets a near fall before settling into a sleeper. Trish fights up but Gail brings her back to the mat. Trish fights up again and works a back suplex, but Kim hangs on to the sleeper. Trish begins to fade as the ref checks in, but no submission. Trish jawjacks out and gets some brief separation, but Kim grabs the sleeper again. Gail switches to a dragon sleeper and Trish uses the ropes to score a float-over inverted DDT. Both girls are down. Referee Patton gets to seven before they rise and slug it out. Spinebuster by Trish. 1-2-kickout by Kim. Chops by Trish against the ropes followed by a Chick Kick. 1-2-Kim gets the shoulder up. Trish wastes no time following up with Stratusfaction and that's that at 3:36.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Trish Stratus

As Trish makes her way up the ramp, Molly Holly charges down and clobbers her. Molly leaves Trish lying and goes into the ring to lord it over Gail Kim. Kim cowers in the corner as Molly stands over her.

Ross and Lawler throw to a clip from last night's Summer Slam, which sees Eric Bischoff intimate that he and Linda McMahon had sex repeatedly last Monday night. Later tonight, WWE CEO Linda McMahon will join Chris Jericho in the Highlight Reel.

WrestleMania Recall: At WM XIV, Stone Cold Steve Austin defeats Shawn Michaels for the WWE Championship as special enforcer Mike Tyson counts the three.

Commercial

In the back, Molly Holly has Gail Kim against the wall by the throat. In case Kim has forgotten, Molly's the one that got her into the company, so Gail can either team up with Molly against Trish, or keep getting shut down. Wheezing, Gail agrees to join Molly.

Rodney Mack w/Theodore Long Interview
-Let Teddy holler at you, playahs. A man who wants to Back the Mack has contacted Teddy. Who is that man, you ask? Why, it's the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Henry comes out to relative indifference from the crowd and joins Rodney and Teddy in the ring. Now bring own the white boys, playah!

Rodney Mack & Mark Henry w/Theodore Long vs. Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade
-Mack and Cade start with Garrison in control after a dropkick. Mack gain control with a reverse chinlock as referee Nick Patrick checks in. Cade fights out and scores a suplex. Tag to Jindrak. Dropkick by Mark followed by an inverted atomic drop. Henry comes in and cleans house on the white boys, hurling Cade over the top. Mack slides out and it settles into Henry and Jindrak in the ring. Henry catches Jindrak coming off the top with a cross body block and Henry delivers a huge powerslam for the 1-2-3 at 2:18.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Mark Henry & Rodney Mack

In the back, Goldust and Lance Storm bicker over how boring Storm is as Mini-Dust humps Lance's leg. Super Hero In Training Rosey swoops onto the scene and asks if Storm knows what's going on in the ring. Lance had his own problems and stalks off. Rosey then asks a production girl what's up and she tells him there's a guy in the ring with a gun. Rosey charges off toward the arena as The Hurricane arrives. He asks after Rosey and the girl tells him he went after the guy in the ring with a gun...a T-SHIRT gun. Hurricane takes off after Rosey.

Commercial

During the break, the misguided Rosey came out and demolished the T-shirt gun guy. The Hurricane came out to admonish his protégé.

Ross and The King take us back to Summer Slam where Jonathan Coachman turned heel and whacked Shane McMahon with a steel chair. The Coach teamed up with Eric Bischoff from there, but Co-GM Stone Cold Steve Austin arrived to set things right.

In the back, Terri gets the word from Stone Cold. Austin says he was only defending himself last night when The Coach and Eric Bischoff provoked him. Bischoff arrives on the scene and confronts Austin. He says Stone Cold was never physically provoked last night and he's naming Jonathan Coachman Employee of the Month later tonight and Austin had best not interfere.

Commercial

WWE Extreme Blast of the Night: Last week on RAW, a fake US Serviceman dupes the Dudley Boyz and crowns them with the American flag.

La Résistance & Rob Conway vs. The Dudley Boyz & Spike Dudley in a Six Man Tag Team Match
-Conway, the guy from last week and the fake photographer from last night, takes the mic before the Dudleys are introduced. He spews the same pat left-wing rhetoric that La Resistance usually does and calls American citizens "the real terrorists." No one seems to care. The Dudleys charge in from the crowd and ambush the enemy before the bell. The match officially gets under way and the heels take over on Spike. Conway gets the battering ram and the Dudley Dogg and both men are down. Bubba Ray tags in and cleans house, side slamming Grenier in the process. It quickly breaks down from there and Dupree gets the 3-D. Dudley Dogg to Grenier. The Dudleys clothesline Grenier out over the top and Bubba press slams Spike onto Dupree on the outside. D-Von goes out as Conway regains the ring and waylays Bubba with a tag belt behind the back of referee Charles Robinson. Conway disposes of the evidence and makes the cover to win it for his team at 2:47. The Dudleys blow it again.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Rob Conway & La Résistance

In the back, Linda McMahon makes her way to the arena.

Commercial

Ross and Lawler thank us for watching Summer Slam and still pictures show us Kane tombstoneing Rob Van Dam on the steel steps.

Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel
-Y2J talks a bit about his experience in the Elimination Chamber last night, blaming Goldberg for his loss. Jericho turns his attention to the JeriTron 5000, where we see footage of Eric Bischoff kissing Linda McMahon from last week. Jericho believes Bischoff's side of the story but in fairness, here's WWE CEO Linda McMahon to explain her side. Linda enters to the ultra-cool old WrestleMania theme and faces off with Jericho. Chris asks for the true story of what happened after the cameras stopped rolling last week. The truth, says Linda, is that Eric Bischoff is a very creative liar. Security escorted Easy E off the estate as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. Bischoff's actions deserve consequences however, but rather than fire Eric she's going to...No Chance In Hell hits and here comes WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. Mr. McMahon climbs into the ring and says HE makes the ultimate decisions about WWE affairs, not Linda. Therefore, there will be NO repercussions against Eric Bischoff for what happened last week. In fact, Vince actually invited Bischoff to the McMahon house last week. What Vince hates about the situation though, is that Linda is portraying herself as a victim. If anyone's a victim here, it's Mr. McMahon himself. He's the victim of Linda, their failed marriage and the things that have come from her "demon-infested womb." Linda has turned Vince's kids against him. Linda thinks he needs psychological help. Vince feels like Kane, everyone's turned on him because of Linda. Here Comes the Monaaaaaaaay....and here comes Shane McMahon. Shane seizes the mic from Vince and says he and Kane are a lot alike...they're both monsters and they can both rot in hell. Jericho intervenes of Mr. McMahon's behalf, getting in Shane's face. Jericho calls Shane an asshole, but Shane says it's Vince that's the asshole. Vince and Shane face off, but Jericho clobbers Shane from behind with the mic. Vince and Jericho briefly double-team Shane, but McMahon quickly pulls Y2J away. As he and Jericho head up the ramp, Vince books Shane to face Y2J later tonight on RAW.

Commercial

Ross intros a clip from earlier tonight of Goldberg accepting Triple's challenge for Unforgiven.

Randy Orton w/Ric Flair vs. Maven w/Shawn Michaels
-Orton controls with basics at the start before Maven comes back with a drop toehold and we have a standoff. Orton with his reverse stunner over the hip and gets two from referee Jack Doan. Orton rakes his bootlaces across Maven's eyes and gets a near fall. Orton measures Maven with a right hand and drops him. Hard Irish whip from corner to corner earns Orton another near fall. Orton stomps away as the crowd Whoooos. Orton drills Maven with a standing dropkick. 1-2-Maven kicks out. 1-2-Maven kicks out. Flair threatens to get into the ring over Doan's counts. Michaels tries to plead Maven's case to the ref and Flair lands a cheap shot on Maven behind the Doan's back. HBK scoots around the ring and drops Flair with Sweet Chin Music as Maven takes over on Orton for a near fall. Maven to the top for a nice cross body block. 1-2-Orton gets the shoulder up. Right hands by Maven, but Orton drop toeholds his throat over the middle rope. Orton lands the RKO. 1-2-pulled up by Orton. That's almost always a mistake. Orton taunts Michaels and "tunes up the band." Maven staggers up and Orton blasts him with a very Michaels-esque superkick for the 1-2-3 at 5:30.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Randy Orton

Michaels climbs into the ring and slowly stares Orton down before seeing to Maven.

In the back, Eric Bischoff polishes up a plaque, presumably the Employee of the Month award.

Commercial

At ringside, Terri gets the word from Funk Master Flex, who has a new show debuting on Spike TV later tonight.

Eric Bischoff Interview
-Easy E has the red carpet laid out in the ring as he introduces the RAW Employee of the Month...Jonathan Coachman. Coach comes out in a backwards cap and a sweater, not his usual broadcast gear. Coach accepts his award and poses for a photo with Bischoff. Coachman takes the stick and says he was only doing his job last night at Summer Slam. Crowd gives the newly-heel Coach the honor of the "asshole" chant. Coachman says he didn't provoke Steve Austin last night and Stone Cold knows it. Coach says Stone Cold has never liked him because unlike...some people, he's not Austin's boy. Bischoff then shows a clip from 2 weeks ago when Jim Ross reclaimed his announce spot from Coachman. That hurt Coach because no one ever thanked him for holding JR's spot. Coach wants an apology from Ross and one day he'll get it, but tonight he wants an apology from Stone Cold Steve Austin and he wants it right...now. Christian's music hits and the Intercontinental Champion, not the RAW co-GM, makes his way to the ring. No one deserves an apology more than Christian; at least Coach was on Summer Slam last night. Austin is trying to keep Christian off all the big shows. The glass breaks and NOW here comes Steve Austin. Stone Cold hits the corners and addresses Coach first, saying he couldn't carry JR's jock strap. Austin refuses to apologize to Coach, but he does have a sympathy card for him...it looks a lot like the bird. Austin can make all the hand gestures he wants, but Austin knows his handpicked announcers are a joke. A cowboy and a king? What is this, the Village People? Lawler stands up and offers to stick Coach's award where the sun don't shine if Coach thinks he's such a joke. Christian has had enough and demands attention. Austin decides to accommodate him and books Christian in a match with Jerry Lawler for the Intercontinental Championship. And that's the bottom liiiiiiiiine...eh, you know the rest.

Commercial

Christian vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler for the Intercontinental Championship
-The Coach joins Jim Ross for some adversarial commentary as Christian reverse elbows Lawler to the mat for a near fall from referee Chad Patton. Christian chokes King over the middle rope as the referee admonishes. Christian cinches in a rear chinlock on the mat. Lawler elbows his way out, but Christian resumes control with choking in the corner. Lawler comes back with right hands and a clothesline as Coachman taunts JR on commentary. Lawler gets a near fall and pokes Christian in the eye for another one. King eats a reverse elbow in the corner. Christian goes to the top, but Lawler slams him off and goes up himself for the fist drop. Coachman leaves the announce position. Lawler drops another right hand from the second rope and goes for the cover. 1-2-Lawler's pulled out by The Coach. Lawler chases Coachman around and into the ring, finally catching him. Before The King can do anything to The Coach, Christian rolls Lawler up for the 1-2-3 at 2:57.
-HERE is YOUR Winner and STILL the Intercontinental Champion: Christian

In the back, Shane McMahon heads toward the arena as Kane stalks him from the shadows.

Commercial

In the back, Jonathan Coachman interviews the victorious Christian. Christian thanks his peeps and takes off. The Coach tries to throw it back to ringside but Stone Cold Steve Austin interrupts and books Coachman in a match next week against...Jerry "The King" Lawler.

Shane McMahon vs. Chris Jericho
-They throw plenty of fists at the outset before Shane scores a sloppy backdrop. Jericho takes over with a reverse elbow off the ropes and a right hand. Jericho hammers away on Shane's back, but McMahon backdrops him over the top on a charge. Shane goes out, springboards off the ring steps and clotheslines Jericho on the floor. Shane lays Jericho across the timekeeper's table and goes to the top rope, but Kane's fire explodes and distracts him. Kane doesn't show, but the distraction allows Jericho to get back into the ring and he clobbers Shane from behind...

Commercial

...Jericho hammers away on Shane with right hands before moving him into the corner for more pummeling. Shane manages a DDT and both men are down. Shane makes the cover and gets two from referee Earl Hebner. Shane scores a jumping reverse elbow and jabs Jericho to the mat. 1-2-Jericho kicks out. Jericho regains control with a kick and a face plant, but Shane gets the knees up on the attempted Lionsault. Shane with a bodyslam before going to the top. Jericho kicks Hebner into the ropes and Shane is crotched. Jericho goes up and superplexes Shane to the mat. The fires of hell explode again and this time Kane comes on down. Kane climbs into the ring as Jericho and Hebner bail. Kane chokeslams Shane and then heads off into the crowd. In the ring, Shane struggles to his feet and goes into the crowd after Kane. Shane follows Kane into the back and outside near the dumpsters, but Kane is nowhere to be found. Kane suddenly ambushes Shane from behind and drags him up a ramp to the top of the dumpsters. Kane drives Shane into a concrete wall repeatedly before revealing an entire row of gasoline cans. Kane pours all the gasoline into the dumpster and then, finding a lighter conveniently lying on the ground, lights it all up. Kane tries to throw Shane in the flaming dumpster, but Shane manages to wriggle off Kane's shoulder and it's Kane that goes over backward into the fire. Shane staggers to the edge of the dumpster and says, "Burn in hell."
-No Contest

End of Show

Please credit Rajah and Rajah's WWF News and Rumors! if using this news