Submitted by Rajah on December 08, 2003 at 22:29:51

WWE RAW Report for 12/01/03

Hello again everyone and welcome back to the Office of Editorial Excellence. After a one-week hiatus I am Jason (Jason_of_RajahWWF on Yahoo Messenger), back as host for YOUR rajah.com RAW report. Here we go...

We begin with General Manager Eric Bischoff announcing Shawn Michaels & Rob Van Dam to face Randy Orton, Batista & Kane in a Handicap Match.

The music hits, the pyro blazes and we are LIVE from the Arco Arena in Sacramento California. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler will have the call as the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring.

Goldberg Interview
-The crowd chants Bill's last name as he takes the mic to address them. It seems like Goldberg is getting jumped from behind every single week, be it by Kane or Triple H. So tonight, Goldberg will make it simple. The hell with Armageddon, let's get it on right here, right now. I'M BACK...here comes RAW GM Eric Bischoff. Goldberg doesn't decide what happens on this show, Bischoff does. If Goldberg ever tries to create mass chaos on RAW again, Bischoff will not hesitate to fire Goldberg, World Champion or not. This isn't RAW after all; this is The Eric Bischoff show. And no one can do a thing about it. SKRREEEEEEEEEECRASH...it's Mick Foley! Wearing a suit and toting a clipboard, Foley climbs into the ring and take a mic. Bischoff is wrong, there is something that Mick can do about that. It's a pleasure to meet Goldberg, but Mick's here to see Bischoff. In light of Vince McMahon's recent diminished capacity following Survivor Series, WWE CEO Linda McMahon have hired Foley as an "outside consultant" to make changes to the shows as he sees fit (Wow, how many times are they going to do this garbage?). Therefore, Bischoff's main event Handicap Match will now feature Goldberg as Michaels & Van Dam's tag partner. Goldberg leaves satisfied and Foley moves on to the subject of Stone Cold Steve Austin. Mick knows he can't bring Austin back as Co-GM, but he can pass a petition around to the crowd to bring Stone Cold back in some capacity. Finally, Foley has decided the only thing really wrong with RAW is Bischoff himself. Therefore, Mick has appointed a new co-general manager for RAW...himself. Have a nice day.

Reporter's Note: I'm sorry, but this is crap. They JUST finished with this boring co-GM storyline and now they're starting it completely over from scratch. And they wonder why the ratings are in the tank. Gee whiz...

Commercial

In the back, Eric Bischoff complains to Jonathan Coachman about what's just happened with Mick Foley. Bischoff calls Linda McMahon at home, but she hangs up on him.

The Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade for the World Tag Team Championship
-Bubba and Cade start with a clean break in the corner at the behest of referee Chad Patton. Bubba with a hard slap and he hammers away in the corner. Cade with a reverse elbow on the corner charge and both men tag. D-Von with a suplex and a cover for two. Flying clothesline by Jindrak and Cade returns. The Dudleys herd Cade into their corner and D-Von powerslams him for a near fall. Cade with a roll-up and a handful of pants. 1-2-D-Von kicks out. Cade complains to the referee about the count and D-Von rolls him up with a handful of trunks for the 1-2-3 at 2:10.
-HERE are YOUR Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz

Cade gets on the mic after the bell and complains about what just happened. Garrison demands a rematch.

In the back, Mick Foley happens in on Jonathan Coachman and Al Snow. Foley books The Coach to face Jerry Lawler later tonight. Snow is banned from ringside and if Coach loses, he's fired.

Commercial

Booker T vs. Test w/Stacy Keibler
-Booker attacks as Test orders Stacy off the apron. Test gets the advantage and hammers away on Booker's bean on the mat. Test cinches in the bear hug and Stacy leads the crowd in egging Booker on to escape. He does and chops Test in the head off the ropes. Scissors kick! 1-2-Test kicks out. Test ducks the sidekick and goes for the pumphandle slam, but Booker counters. Test dodges another scissors kick and this time scores the pumphandle slam. Test with both feet on the top rope but senior referee Earl Hebner doesn't see it. 1-2-Stacy shoves Test's feet off the ropes. Test is livid and he gets a slap in the mush from Stacy for his trouble. Test stumbles back into a Booker T scissors kick and that's that at 2:30.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Booker T

Booker calls Stacy into the ring after the bell and she treats the crowd to two "Leg-a-eroonies." Mark Henry suddenly bursts into the ring with Teddy Long in tow. Test grabs Stacy and flees the scene as Henry lays waste to Booker T with the World's Strongest Slam.

In the back, Lita teases Trish Stratus with a Chris Jericho action figure. Lita asks about the latest goings-on with Young Canadians In Love. Trish has made Jericho a Canadian themed hockey jersey, which she plans to wear with a lacy bra under it, and thinks, "tonight could be the night." Trish goes off all giddy, but Lita still looks wary.

Commercial

Ross and Lawler hype the Stone Cold petition before recapping what happened last week between Shawn Michaels and Batista.

In the back, Terri gets the word from Batista and Randy Orton. Batista is disappointed that he didn't knock Michaels' head off last night. Last week was nothing compared to what Batista is going to do to HBK tonight.

Scott Steiner w/Test and Stacy Keibler Interview
-Steiner and a woozy Test march a scared Stacy back to the ring. Steiner knows the crowd likes to see Stacy's legs and panties, but that's going to end right now. Test takes the mic and says he's starting the Test and Scott Steiner Kiss My Ass Club to remind her of her place. Test and Steiner drop trough and corner Stacy in the corner, but here comes new RAW Co-GM Mick Foley. Mick orders Stacy to his side and, in order to free her from her contractual obligations, fires Test. Steiner says Foley can't do that, he and Test are a tag team and they're going to win the World Tag Team titles. All right, Steiner's fired too. Stacy turns cartwheels of glee and Foley carries her to the back.

Commercial

In the back, Test and Scott Steiner rave to Eric Bischoff about what just happened. Bischoff says Linda McMahon hung up on him earlier, but now he's going to call Vince McMahon. Test and Steiner leave and someone off-screen asks if Bischoff is really going to call Vince McMahon. No, says Bischoff, he's going to handle this himself.

Mick Foley has joined Ross and Lawler at the announce table.

Val Venis & Lance Storm w/Some Ladies Under Thirty vs. Rene Dupree & Rob Conway
-Dupree starts off in control of Venis and gets two from referee Mike Chioda. Tag to Conway, who gets another near fall. Reverse elbow by Conway. 1-2-kickout by Val. Conway powers Venis into the corner and settles into a rear chinlock on the mat. Venis escapes and tags Storm. Lance with a dropkick and an inziguri by Storm for a near fall. Lance shoots Conway in and rolls into the half Boston Crab. Dupree attacks, but Venis rids us of him and then he and Storm team up for the old Hart Foundation Hart Attack on Conway for the 1-2-3 at 2:51.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Lance Storm & Val Venis

After the bell, Mick Foley gets on the mic and offers to forgive La Resistance for all their non-support as long as they recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Mick leads the crowd (and Jim Ross) in the pledge as Conway half-heartedly follows along, but Dupree won't do it. Don't want to recite the pledge with gusto guys? Well guess what...you're fired! The Foley body count stands at four.

In the back, Trish Stratus and Chris Jericho prepared for their upcoming mixed tag match.

Commercial

Trish Stratus & Chris Jericho vs. Rico & Miss Jackie in a Mixed Tag Team Match
-Rico nails Trish at the bell and Jericho unloads on him. Jericho chops away in the corner, but Rico comes back with a kick for two from referee Charles Robinson. Jericho floats over in the corner and rolls Rico into The Walls, but Rico quickly makes it to the ropes. Springboard dropkick by Jericho sends Rico to the floor. Jericho fetches Rico back into the ring and floors him with a clothesline. Rico retreats to the corner and tags Jackie. Jackie gets in to Jericho's face and goes for a kick, but he catches her foot and flips her to the mat. Tag to Trish, who comes in off the top with a cross body block for two. Trish stays in control with a flying clothesline for two. Jackie tricks Jericho into the ring and then she and Rico suplex Trish as the referee herds Jericho out. 1-2-kickout by Trish. Neckbreaker by Jackie for another near fall before she cinches in a Dragon Sleeper on the mat. The referee checks in, but Trish won't submit. Trish escapes and rolls Jackie up for two. Jackie dares Trish to her feet and charges, but Trish catches her with a spinebuster and both girls are down. They tag and Jericho nails Rico with an inziguri. 1-2-Rico kicks out. Rico catches Jericho coming in with a very stiff reverse kick and follows it up with another kick in the corner. Jericho recovers and drops Rico with a bulldog. Jericho and Rico tumble to the outside, but not before Chris crotches Jackie on the top as she looks to ambush him. Trish comes in and Stratuspheres Jackie to the mat before landing Stratusfaction for the 1-2-3 at 6:48.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Trish Stratus & Chris Jericho

Trish and Chris get all huggy and kissy after the bell.

In the back, Eric Bischoff tells Kane that rumor has it Mick Foley is looking to strip Kane of his Armageddon title shot.

Commercial

WWE Boot of the Week: Last week on RAW, Matt Hardy cost Lita a Steel Cage Match against Victoria.

Matt Hardy Version 1.0 vs. Christian w/Lita
-Matt attacks at the bell, but Christian comes back and drapes Matt over the top rope. Christian shoulders Matt to the floor and flips him into the guardrail. Christian hotshots Matt over the top on the inside and gets two from referee Jack Doen. Matt avoids contact in the corner and slides Christian into the opposite ring post. Matt goes to the gut and scores a gut wrench suplex for a near fall. Kick to the ribs by Hardy, who settles into an abdominal stretch. Lita tries to motivate Christian to fight out and he does with elbows. Christian puts Matt on top, but Hardy shoves him back to the mat and drops the leg from the second rope. 1-2-Christian kicks out. Snapmare by Matt, and this time it's a seated surfboard on Christian. Christian fights out and boots Matt in the belly, but Hardy reverses and looks for the Twist of Fate. Christian counters, but Matt manages to re-corral him for the Side Effect. 1-2-Christian gets the shoulder up. Hardy leaves Christian lying and goes out to taunt Lita, but Christian pulls him back into the ring. Hardy sets Christian up over the middle rope, but Christian dodges the attack. Inverted atomic drop by Christian followed by an over-the-head stomach buster for a near fall. Inverted DDT by Christian. 1-2-kickout by Matt. Christian is pissed and looks for the Unprettier, but MOLLY HOLLY shows up at ringside and tosses Lita into the steel steps. Christian drops Matt to chase Molly, but Hardy rolls him up from behind and hooks the tights for the 1-2-3 at 6:26.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Matt Hardy Version 1.0

Christian goes out to see to Lita after the bell.

Commercial

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman
-Remember, if Coach loses, he's fired. Lawler unloads with right hands at the start and drops Coach with a back suplex. King drops the elbow and goes to the second rope for the fist drop and gets the 1-2-3 at :51. So long, Coach.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Jerry "The King" Lawler

Lawler takes the mic after the bell and leads the crowd and Ross in singing good-bye to The Coach. Coach cries.

Commercial

More shilling for the Stone Cold petition before Ross and Lawler run down the card for Armageddon. Booker T vs. Mark Henry and a Tag Team Turmoil Match for the Tag Team Championship have been added.

In the back, Christian and Chris Jericho compare notes on how they've been stringing Trish Stratus and Lita along for the past several weeks. Turns out it's all a bet to see who can bed their respective girl first. Outside their locker room stands a crying Trish Stratus, the special Canadian jersey she made for Jericho in hand. Bastards.

Commercial

WWE Rewind: Last week on RAW, Kane cost Triple H his shot at the World Heavyweight Championship by attacking Goldberg.

Batista, Randy Orton & Kane w/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam, Shawn Michaels & Goldberg in a Six-Man Tag Team Match
-Van Dam and Orton start with some basics as Ross and Lawler wonder where Triple H is. Orton with some shots in the corner, but Van Dam comes back with a cross body out of the corner and a near fall from referee Mike Chioda. Van Dam with a step-over heel kick and he goes to the top, but Orton rolls out. Van Dam dives out onto Orton and wipes him out on the floor. RVD brings Orton back in and looks for the cover, but Batista breaks it up and Orton makes the tag. Batista drives the shoulders into Van Dam's gut in the corner and then distracts the referee as Orton and Kane get their kick on all over RVD. Flair adds a little choking from the floor for good measure before RVD escapes and tags Michaels. HBK nails Batista with a flying clothesline and kips up. Michaels to the top and he sticks the elbow into Batista's heart. Michaels tunes up the band, but Flair provides a distraction from the apron. Michaels nails Flair with a right hand but Kane comes in and plants HBK with a chokeslam as we go to...

Commercial

..Michaels battles out of the corner on Kane. Kane looks for the chokeslam, but HBK fights out. Kane manages a near fall and then makes the tag to Batista. Batista grounds Michaels with a reverse chinlock on the mat. The referee checks in, but HBK won't quit. Michaels fights up and out before Batista hoists him for an overhead choke. RVD starts to come in which distracts Chioda long enough for Michaels to land a thumb to the eye and a low blow. Both men are down. Tag to Orton. Tag to Goldberg. Backdrop to Orton, clothesline to Batista. Press slam to Orton into a powerslam. Goldberg wants Kane, who tags himself in. They circle and jaw at each other before slugging it out. Goldberg drives Kane into the corner and unloads all over him with right hands. Kane gets the boots up on the corner charge. Kane cheap shots RVD and HBK on the apron and gets speared by Goldberg. Goldberg looks for the Jackhammer, but Batista and Orton break it up. All six guys are soon in there and Goldberg and Kane battle into the crowd. Michaels and Batista go at it on the outside as RVD scores Rolling Thunder on Orton in the ring. 1-2-Flair pulls the referee out. Flair drops Chioda with a right hand and distracts RVD, but Orton can't capitalize and Van Dam hits the Five Star Frog Splash. There's no referee to make the count, so here comes MICK FOLEY to toll the 1-2-3 at 13:52.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Rob Van Dam, Shawn Michaels & Goldberg

Eric Bischoff comes down the ramp immediately after the bell and demands to talk to Mick Foley alone. Is Foley out of his mind, he's ruined RAW his first night on the job by gutting half the roster. As soon as Foley signs the release papers for the guys he's fired, Paul Heyman will be waiting with open contracts to bring those guys to Smackdown. That's not going to happen because Mick's not going to sign any release papers. Mick just wanted to show Bischoff what it's like when people abuse their power. Foley is going to give the people what they want as co-general manager and, with that in mind, he books Goldberg vs. Kane for next week. And now Foley's going to give the people of Sacramento what they've wanted since he returned to this very ring. Right hand to Bischoff. Mr. Socko to Bischoff. Mandible claw and Bischoff goes out.

Yay, it's 1999!

whatever...

END OF SHOW

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