Submitted by Rajah on January 13, 2004 at 03:33:13

Hello again everyone and welcome to 2004. This is your first rajah.com RAW report for the New Year. I am your host Jason (Jason_of_RajahWWF on Yahoo Messenger), let's get started...

In the general manager's office, Eric Bischoff rants about the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin to Jonathan Coachman. Bischoff says Austin has appointed himself "the sheriff of RAW." Coach goes off shaking his head as Mark Henry and Theodore Long enter the office. Henry wants to cash in his Survivor Series favor. And what is that favor? He wants Teddy appointed general manager for the night. Bischoff balks initially, and then realizes Sheriff Austin will have to deal with Long for the night, so he packs up and heads out.

The music plays, the pyro blazes and we are LIVE from Memphis, Tennessee! Jim Ross and Memphis's own Jerry "The King" Lawler will have the call as toNIGHT Ric Flair & Batista defend the World Tag Team Championships against The Dudley Boyz and the Women's Championship will be decided. But FIRST...

Theodore Long Interview
-Let the general manager holla at ya, playuhs! You may be booing, but you're just booing the fact that a black man has the power. The good white people of Tennessee may think Teddy's not talking about them, but Teddy knows all white people are racist. If the black mayor of Memphis were a REAL black man, the city wouldn't be wallowing in poverty and crime. Jerry Lawler stands up and calls Teddy on his comments. Lawler heads for the ring as Long says he's just a "cracker with a crown." Lawler gets to the ring and gets in Teddy's face when Randy Orton appears and RKO's The King to the mat.

In the back Long and Orton gloat over what Randy just did. Orton says he's got something in store for Mick Foley when Mark Henry rolls up. Henry wants an Intercontinental Championship match with Orton and Teddy grants it. Orton pouts as Long and Henry start to roll when Sheriff Austin gets in their face. He tries to change the IC title match to Rob Van Dam versus Randy Orton, but Teddy's already made the match. So, Austin says, tonight it'll be Mark Henry versus Rob Van Dam and the winner will face Randy Orton next week. Believe THAT.

Commercial

Jonathan Coachman joins Jim Ross at the announce table.

Rene Dupree w/Rob Conway Vs. Spike Dudley
-Footage is shown of La Resistance almost killing Spike four months ago with a botched table spot. Spike attacks at the bell, but Dupree swats him away and turns him inside out with a clothesline. Dupree with chops in the corner and a big flapjack. Rene does his little dance and scores a vertical suplex for a near fall from referee Jack Doan. Dupree with right hands and some choking over the middle rope. Spike comes back with the battering ram, but Dupree counters the Dudley Dog and sends Spike hard into the corner. 1-2-kickout by Spike. Big chop by Dupree and he moves into a neck vise. Coach, meanwhile, is taunting JR about the Sooners loss over the weekend. Dupree stomps away and sends Spike to the ropes, but Spike tries for the sunset flip on the rebound. Dupree sits down and grabs the ropes for the pin, but the referee catches him and refuses to count. Dupree looks for the military press, but Spike scoots down his back and rolls him up for the surprise 1-2-3 at 3:51.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Spike Dudley

The Dudley Boyz come out to the ramp to celebrate with Spike, but they're all soon the victims of a Ric Flair/Batista Pearl Harbor job. The RAW corps of referees arrives to run Flair and Batista off, but the Dudleys are all left lying.

Commercial

In the back, Christian apologizes to Chris Jericho about all that's happened between them in the last several weeks. Jericho apologizes too and they reminisce about all they've done together. Christian tells Jericho that Teddy Long says there's a tag match up next with their names on it if Chris wants it. Y2J does and they go off to plan.

Ross intros highlights from last week's excellent World Heavyweight Championship Match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

Commercial

Jerry Lawler comes back and tries to reclaim his announce seat from The Coach, but General Manager Long comes out and says that if The King even looks at Coachman the wrong way, he'll fire The King's ass right here in Lawler's hometown. Looks like it'll be a three-man announce team.

Chris Jericho & Christian Vs. The Hurricane & Rosey
-Christian and Rosey start with a big clothesline by the S.H.I.T. Tag to Hurricane and Rosey hip tosses him onto Christian for a near fall from referee Earl Hebner. Tag to Jericho. Y2J takes over on Hurricane in the corner, but Our Hero comes back with a Hurribuster. Jericho ducks the shining wizard and Christian low bridges Hurricane to the outside. Jericho fetches Our Hero back in and drops him with a back suplex. Tag to Christian. Front facelock by Christian. Rosey makes the blind tag, but the referee doesn't see it and runs him from the ring. The heels try to double-team Hurricane, but Our Hero manages a double DDT and makes the hit tag. Samoan drop to Christian. 1-2-broken up by Jericho. Rosey ducks a double clothesline and scores one of his own. Rosey tosses Jericho out and Hurricane comes off the top out onto him. Meanwhile, Rosey drops Christian and makes the cover, but Christian gets his foot on the ropes at two. Jericho powers Hurricane into the steel steps as Christian avoids a corner charge and Rosey posts his shoulder. Jericho rams Rosey's head into the post from the outside and Christian follows up with an inverted DDT for the 1-2-3 at an even 5:00.
-HERE are YOUR Winners: Christian & Chris Jericho

The announcers recap what happened earlier this evening between the Dudleys and Ric Flair & Batista.

Commercial

WWE Rewind: Last night on Heat, Victoria helps Steven Richards get past Test in a match.

Steven Richards w/Victoria Vs. Test
-This will be the third go around for these two. Test nails Richards with a forearm at the bell and chases Victoria up the ramp. Test returns to the ring and powers Richards' shoulder into the post as Victoria returns to ringside. Test with an armbar, but Steven won't give referee Chad Patton the submission. Richards fights up and out and Test eats reverse elbow on the corner charge. Richards with a roll up for a near fall. Test blocks a kick and looks for the pump handle slam, but Victoria distracts him out of it. Richards with another roll up but Test powers out. Test goes for the pump handle again, but Richards escapes. Victoria is up on the apron, Test goes after her with the big boot, but she drops to the floor and evades him. Test crotches himself over the top rope and Richards sneaks in with a third roll up, this time for the 1-2-3 at 2:49.
-HERE is YOUR Winner: Steven Richards

Victoria climbs into the ring to celebrate with Richards after the bell and Test tattoos her with the big boot. Richards goes berserk and attacks Test. They tumble to the outside and Richards has to be peeled off of Test by referees. Test leaves and Richards goes back to the ring to see to Victoria, who's been knocked clean out.

Commercial

Stone Cold Steve Austin Interview
-Austin hits the corners and takes the stick. Austin said last week that there's a new sheriff in town and there is, his name is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Last week, Austin said that Shawn Michaels would get a rematch, so at the Royal Rumble...IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GAME, here comes Triple H. The World Heavyweight Champion takes a mic of his own and asks if "Sheriff Austin" has lost his mind. Apparently alcohol does kill brain cells. Austin is the Sheriff like Deputy Dog, like Barney Fife. No, no, like Roscoe P. Coltrane. Is Austin going to come out next week with a floppy eared dog named Flash? Come on, do that little laugh Roscoe does, Austin. Triple H gets the bird instead. Triple H must have taken a worse superkick from Shawn Michaels than he thought last week, because he's woken up in Mayberry. Wait a minute; is that a badge Austin's wearing? Did that come with a little plastic hat and a cap gun, because The Game had that set when he was a kid? Is Triple H done wasting Austin's time? Austin is the sheriff and that means he can uphold the law any way he wants. He can stun Triple H, strip Triple H of his title or take a dump in The Game's shoes if he likes. Shawn Michaels deserves a rematch based on what Austin saw last week. The Game says he's beaten everyone that's been put in front of him, Shawn Michaels included, so this issue with HBK should be over. How many times does Triple H have to prove that he's the best wrestler alive today? How many times...OH OH OOOOH SHAWN, it's the Heartbreak Kid in question. Michaels gets into the ring and shares Austin's mic. Michaels wants to see Triple H prove he's the greatest one...more...time. Well he'll get his chance, says Sheriff Austin, because at the Royal Rumble it'll be Triple H versus Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Championship...in a Last Man Standing Match. Shawn likes it, but The Game lands a cheap kick to the gut and Pedigrees Shawn to the mat.

Commercial

Molly Holly Vs. Victoria for the Women's Championship
-Ross recaps the kick Victoria took from Test earlier tonight. Molly takes the mic and says that since Victoria can't compete and Molly can, she should be the winner by forfeit. Molly orders Lillian Garcia to make the announcement when General Manager Long appears on the screen. No, Victoria can't compete, but Teddy loves seeing two white girls beat the hell out of each other, so...

Molly Holly Vs. Trish Stratus
-This is a non-title affair. Molly dominates from the start, getting a few near falls from referee Jack Doan before settling into a reverse chinlock on the mat. Trish fights out and gets a roll up for a near fall. Molly kicks Trish in the belly, but Trish scores a spine buster for a near fall. Trish eats elbow on a corner charge and Molly goes to the top, but Trish goes up and scores the Stratusphere. Trish looks for Stratusfaction, but turns it into a sunset flip in mid-move and gets two. Trish slides to the apron and catches Molly coming in with a stiff Chick Kick. Trish goes to the top, but here comes JAZZ to shove her off and referee Doan calls for the bell at 2:49.
-HERE is YOUR Winner as the result of a Disqualification: Trish Stratus

Molly and Jazz get their kick on all over Trish, but Jazz soon turns on Molly and shows her the door. Jazz then puts Trish up in the double flying chicken wing. Jazz looks for the STF on the mat as Trish screams and here comes Chris Jericho. Jericho runs Jazz from the ring and looks for comfort Trish, but she pulls away when she realizes it's him and heads for the ramp.

A paid advertisement for Randy Orton airs that paint Mick Foley as a coward.

Commercial

WrestleMania Recall: At WM XIV, Pete Rose takes his first tombstone from Kane.

Rob Van Dam Vs. Mark Henry w/Theodore Long to determine the number one contender for the Intercontinental Championship
-Henry powers RVD into the corner at the start. Van Dam goes for a shoulder block but he bounces off Henry harmlessly. RVD goes to work on Henry's legs and puts him down with a dropkick to the knee. Henry catches Van Dam coming in and drives him to the mat with a slam. Van Dam gets the boots up on a corner charge and scores a kick off the top. Henry bails to the outside and a catches a Van Dam baseball slide for his trouble. Van Dam misses a moonsault to the outside and Henry drives RVD's shoulder into the post. Long hands Henry a steel chair and Mark blasts RVD in the bean with it as Van Dam comes off the apron. Referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell to award the match to Van Dam via DQ, but Long takes the mic from Lillian Garcia and orders the match restarted as a No Disqualification Match. Robinson complies and the bell sounds again, but here comes STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN on an ATV (give me a break already). Austin rides around the ring and then uses the ATV to chase Long from ringside as we go to...

Commercial

..We return with Van Dam trapped in a Henry bear hug. Henry puts RVD's throat over the middle rope and then scores his senton through the ropes. Henry throws RVD into the corner and drives the shoulder to his gut. Van Dam manages to get the boots up on a corner charge and hooks in a triangle choke in the mat. Van Dam lets up and scores a rolling leg drop. Rolling Thunder! 1-2-Henry kicks out. Van Dam gets chair from ringside and kicks Henry into the corner. Skateboard dropkick, but Henry gets right up in a rage and clobbers RVD to the mat. Henry tosses RVD into the corner and grabs a chair, but he gets nailed with a Van Daminator. Van Dam goes to the top and scores the Five Star Frog Splash for the 1-2-3 at a total of 9:41.
-HERE is YOUR Winner and the number one contender for the Intercontinental Championship: Rob Van Dam

The ATV-mounted Sheriff Austin chases Theodore Long back into the arena. Long runs around the ring and is cut off by Van Dam. Austin tosses Long into the ring and, after much begging and delay, gives him the Stunner. Austin drives the ATV up to the stage where he celebrates with Van Dam. "This sucks!" says The Coach. I'm inclined to agree.

Commercial

In the back, Chris Jericho goes into Trish Stratus's dressing room looking to talk. Trish is in the shower, so Jericho promises not to look and say that yes, things started as a bet, but everything he did and felt with Trish was genuine. He doesn't blame Trish is she never wants to talk to him again, but he just had to tell her how he felt. He turns around to find that (of course) Mae Young was the one in the shower. She flashes her puppies at him and he flees.

Kane Interview
-Kane's pyro knocks Jonathan Coachman right out of his chair in the spot of the night. Ross and Lawler show highlights of what Kane did to Booker T last week. Kane has never won the Royal Rumble, but he should have won them all because he was too busy trying to please the fans instead of himself. Last year, he made the mistake of trusting someone. The TitanTron shows footage from last year's Rumble of The Undertaker turning on Kane during the match and tossing him over the top. That's not going to happen this year, because Kane has buried The Undertaker alive. Last week Kane made an example of the man that took his World Heavyweight Title shot last year, Booker T. Kane is going to enter the Royal Rumble this year, he's going to win it and there's nothing anyone can do about...CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAH?! Here comes Booker T. They brawl and Booker drives Kane to the outside. No one makes an example of Booker T; it's on now, dog. Booker is entering the Rumble for two reasons this year: to throw Kane's Uncle Fester-looking ass over the top rope and to go on to WrestleMania as the top dog.

In the back, The Dudley Boyz fire up for their tag title match, which is next.

Commercial

WWE Digital Play of the Night: At Armageddon, Ric Flair & Batista beat The Dudley Boyz to win the tag titles.

Ric Flair & Batista Vs. The Dudley Boyz for the World Tag Team Championship
-Do I even need to say what a piss-poor RAW this has been when this is the main event? Batista and D-Von start with Dudley in control with punches. D-Von nails Flair off the apron, which allows Batista to take over. Batista corrals D-Von in the Evolution corner and drops him off the whip with a reverse elbow. 1-2-kickout. D-Von fires back and tags Bubba in. They double-team Batista with a whip and Bubba comes off the second rope with a cross body block as referee Mike Chioda runs D-Von from the ring. 1-2-Batista kicks out and tags Flair. Bubba mocks Flair, but it soon trapped in the corner for chops and punches. Bubba with some chops of his own and he backdrops Flair out of the corner. Sidewalk slam by Bubba. 1-2-broken up by Batista. All four guys are in there as Batista drives the Dudleys into each other and Flair chop blocks Bubba. Flair is bleeding from the chest as he looks for the figure four on Bubba, who turns it into a small package for a near fall. Flair cinches it in on take two and Bubba screams in pain. Bubba manages to turn it over and reverse things, but Flair tags Batista. Coach is really taunting Ross on commentary, calling him a racist in the process. "I'm not a racist, you jackass," retorts JR. Meanwhile, Evolution controls Bubba Ray with Flair driving in the right hands. Bubba fights up, but Flair cuts him off and goes to the top. Predictably, Bubba cuts the Nature Boy off at the pass and slams him off the top. Both men are down until Bubba makes the hot tag. D-Von with a powerslam on Flair but has to let up on the cover when Batista comes in illegally. D-Von goes to the second rope for the elbow, but Flair rolls out of the way. Bubba comes in and punches Flair into a D-Von roll up for two. This is really disorganized. Batista comes back in and gets a modified 3-D for his trouble. Whazzzup to Batista. 3-D to Flair, but here comes TRIPLE H. Hunter gets up on the apron and jaws with Chioda as Batista returns to the ring and powerbombs D-Von. Triple H drops to the floor as Flair makes the cover and the referee tolls the 1-2-3 at 9:39.
-HERE are YOUR Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista

Triple H gets into the ring to celebrate with his comrades, but Shawn Michaels dashes into the ring and drops The Game with Sweet Chin Music.

END OF SHOW

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