Submitted by Rajah on November 03, 2003 at 03:44:26

Highlights air from the forgettable No Mercy PPV last Sunday, which focus on the Steph-Vince match.

Vince makes his way out with Sable and brags about his victory at No Mercy. He also brags about Lesnar retaining his belt with Vince’s help. Vince is pretty good here, saying “someone” turned out the lights at the PPV and “someone” sent the FBI to the ring. Vince has the best-produced promos in the WWE. He tells Sable, “You have sex with the man who signs your checks.” Vince introduces a thin Paul Heyman as the new GM of Smackdown, much to Cole and Tazz’s disgust.

Heyman begins to blabber, but is interrupted by Taker. Vince gets the ol’ limber-tail and runs through the crowd with two security men. Paul tells Taker not to attack him because he is Taker’s only chance. Paul says the main event tonight will be Taker vs. Lesnar & Show. Paul says if Taker happens to win, he will get to name any match he wants. Perhaps a Texas-Biker chain match? Paul says he has faith in Taker’s ability to win tonight after 13 years of dominance. Taker takes the mic and says Paul standing in the ring is like someone taking a huge crap in his yard. Taker says Heyman’s plan is going to blow up in his face. Taker says he will win and get his revenge. Taker says Heyman has no idea how sick and twisted he can be. I hope he didn’t date Katie Vick’s twin, Molly Vick.

(Commercial Break)

I just saw someone with inflatable John Cena hands. WWEShopzone wins the award this week in their contest with NWA for worst piece of merchandise. Cena pretends to show respect to Angle, but then says he’d rather spit in Angle’s face.

(1) Cena & Train vs. Angle & Benoit went to a no decision when Angle and Benoit began fighting.
I miss Angle as a heel. He is so much better in that role. Angle begins the match selling for Train who tags in Cena. Cena hits a nice Michinoku driver for a two count. Train tags back in and hits a double underhook suplex. Train charges the corner and misses. Kurt nails Train with a German suplex. Benoit comes in and dishes out a couple of German suplexes and a nice back body drop on Cena. Benoit locks in the sharpshooter, but Train kicks him off. Benoit tags in Angle, who hits the Olympic Slam on Train. Angle applies the ankle lock on Cena, the legal man, but Train kicks him off. Benoit and Train brawl on the outside. Benoit accidentally hits Angle with a steel chair, which Train brought in the ring. Angle and Benoit begin to brawl and the ref calls for the bell.

Benoit locks in the crossface on Angle and the refs pull them apart. Angle charges the corner and Benoit bails out of the ring.

(Commercial break)

Cole and Tazz discuss Tajiri’s black mist. I think this is pretty cool. I’m shocked the WWE is putting over Tajiri’s black mist. That’s unpossible!

Jamie Noble-San is delivering a message via web-cam. There is a dog sniffing a chair in the background. Jamie says Nidia’s site has been impaired since being sprayed by Tajiri. Jamie has a pair of glossy 8 by 10’s of Nidia and him in the background. This is funny stuff because it is so random. Noble says Tajiri better hope Nidia is okay.

Haas and Benjamin are backstage discussing their Tag Title shot later tonight. Heyman comes in and he’s pissed they didn’t call him while he was out. He tells them Los Guerreros will defend the titles against the Bashams, instead of them. He tells them their match is next.

Vince is in the skybox with Sable, who says hi to the little people.

(Commercial break)

A nice tribute to Stu Hart is aired, which is narrated by Cole instead of Vinnie Mac.

TWGTT comes out with matching red and white outfits.

(2). Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi defeated TWGTT.
Rikishi obviously didn’t spend his time out losing weight. Scotty and Haas start out in the ring. Scotty locks Haas in a headlock. Cole says Vince is enjoying life without Steph as GM. That makes two of us. Scotty dishes out hip tosses to Benjamin and Haas. Scotty does the moonwalk and is tripped by Benjamin. Haas takes the advantage and tags in Benjamin. Tazz says it must be difficult to prepare for Scotty and Rikishi after believing they were going to face Los Guerreros. I doubt that, they do the same moves every match. Haas and Benjamin hit their leapfrog on Scotty, who has been selling for awhile now. Benjamin tags in and goes to work on Scotty in the corner. Scotty fights out and hits a neck-breaker on Benjamin. Scotty tags in Rikishi who cleans house. Rikishi charges Benjamin in the corner, but misses and Benjamin hits him with the superkick. Scotty hits the bulldog on Benjamin, but Haas prevents the worm. Eventually, Scotty landed the worm on Benjamin. Rikishi gave Haas the stinkface. Benjamin tried a sunset flip and Rikishi just sat on him for the pin.

Vince and Sable are dancing in their skybox and Taker comes in. Taker tells Vince he is a pathetic, gutless coward. He said if Vince was such a big man he wouldn’t have to pay Sable to sleep with him. Taker says if he doesn’t win his match tonight he will come back to the skybox and there won’t be any talking.

(Commercial break)

Chavo and Eddie are backstage. Eddie’s pissed about losing the US Title. Chavo says Eddie needs to focus on their match tonight.

(3) The Bashams w/ Maniqua and her boobs defeated Los Guerreros for the WWE Tag Team Titles.
There is no reaction for the Basham’s. Los Guerreros come out in the low-rider to a descent pop. WWE is wasting Eddie right now. Remember that show in Eddie’s hometown where he was way over? Neither did I. Eddie starts out against Doug. Chavo tags in and hits a nice dropkick on his face. Chavo works over Doug in the corner. Eddie chokes Doug with the tag rope while the ref is distracted. Eddie and Chavo hit a pair of nice senton’s on Doug. The Guerreros have carried most of the offense in this match. Chavo is tagged in, but Doug fights out and tags in Danny. Chavo takes the advantage and tags in Eddie. Maniqua trips up Eddie and then kicks him in the head. Now that we got rid of Steph, Maniqua must go! Danny works over Eddie in the Bashams’ corner. Doug comes in and hits a nice suplex on Eddie as I wonder if Maniqua’s new boobs are a result of my Smackdown reviews. Danny tags in and goes for the pin, but Chavo kicks him off. Danny elbows Chavo off the apron and slams Eddie to the mat. Doug hits a reverse back elbow off the second rope on Eddie. Eddie fights out the Bashams corner and hits a headscissors/arm drag on Doug and Danny. Chavo is tagged in and hits DDT on Doug. Danny makes the save and the Bashams hit a double flapjack on Chavo. Chavo hits a suplex on Doug, after reversing a ball and gag attempt. Eddie comes in and hits the triple vertical on Doug. Danny switches with Doug and plays dead, while Maniqua distracted Eddie. Eddie saw that Danny had moved and rolled through the frogsplash, but Danny nailed Eddie with the nightstick for the pin.

After the match, Maniqua told the Bashams they were going to celebrate their title win.

(Commercial break)

Highlights from the previous match are aired. During the break, Chavo yelled at Eddie and left the ring and walked away from Eddie. Chavo tells Eddie that he needs to focus. If I were Eddie, I wouldn’t take career advice from Chavo.

(4) Tajiri defeated Zach Gowen in a non-title match.
Zach comes out to a fake pop. It’s good to see his win at No Mercy translates into a non-title match with Tajiri. Tajiri kicks Zach, who responds with a dropkick. Tajiri hits a tornado DDT on Gowen who had gone up to the top rope. Tajiri slaps Zach around and goes for a knee drop, but misses. Zach missed a drop kick and rolled out of a suplex, which got him a near fall. Zach rolled through another suplex attempt for a two count. Tajiri charged Zach in the corner, but missed. Zach used the bottom rope to spring into a spinning heel kick. Zach went to the top rope, but Tajiri met him there. Zach knocked him off and went for the moonsault, but Tajiri moved. Tajiri hit a huge kick to Gowen’s head for the pinfall.

Jimmy Yang and the other guy from Tajiri’s match at No Mercy come out after the match. They hit a double Rock Bottom on Zach.

(Commercial break)

Cole and Tazz introduce the Survivor Series theme song, “Build a Bridge” by Limp Bizkit.

A great tribute to Hawk is aired.

Lesnar makes his way down to the ring! In a great shot, Vince cheers him on by pumping his fist.

Vince doesn’t look too happy as Taker comes out on his bike. In a touching scene, Sable comforts Vince.

(5) Undertaker defeated Show & Brock Lesnar in a handicapped match.
Show begins the match against Taker. He charges him into the corner and goes to work, but Taker fights out. Taker rolls to the outside when Lesnar and Show try to double team him. Taker grabs a steel chair and Lesnar and Show bail. Taker is growing his hair out, hmm…is the Deadman coming back? Taker puts the chair down and Lesnar works over Taker in the corner with knees to the midsection. This is just a big brawl so far. Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex. Taker makes his comeback, but Lesnar kicks him in the stomach and hits a nice suplex for a two count. Show tags in and goes to work on Taker. Tazz says Taker’s number one goal is to survive. Show charges Taker in the corner, but runs into a boot. Taker tries to take him down with clotheslines, but fails. Taker hits a HUGE clothesline on Show and then Lesnar comes in and gets one as well. Taker walks into a chokeslam from Taker and Lesnar tags himself in for a two count. Brock tells Show to go to the top rope, which takes FOREVER. Taker fights off Brock and hits a Chokeslam on Show from the top rope for the pin.

Heyman comes out and makes it two out of three falls. Vince smiles as we go to the break.

(Commercial break)

Back from the break, Taker has the advantage on Lesnar and covers him for a two count. Vince looks nervous in the skybox. Taker throws Brock to the outside, but Show is waiting for him and hits him with a clothesline. Show and Taker Brawl outside and Taker punches Show into the crowd. Taker nails Lesnar with a punch and throws him into the crowd as well. Taker goes into the ring and wins by count out.

Heyman comes out and says he screwed up. Heyman says there are no count outs in this match. Show nails Taker with a chair and Taker wins via DQ. Vince looks concerned, but Heyman is back. Heyman apologizes and says this match is no DQ. This is pretty funny as Heyman is seated at the entrance ramp in a recliner with a mic. Taker gets the biker chain and punches Lesnar and Show. He pins Lesnar for the pinfall.

Heyman looks like he doesn’t know what to do and shrugs his shoulders. Show attacks Taker as he leaves the ring. He throws Taker in and Brock and Show go to work on Taker. Show punches Taker in the side of the head with the biker chain. It looks like heaven’s light is illuminating Vince’s skybox in the background. Vince looks on approvingly as Brock F-5’s taker into the steel post. Did I mention that Sable looks smoking hot tonight?

Vince says he’s coming down to personally congratulate him. Vince gets a kiss from Sable before we go to break.

(Commercial break)

Vince comes down to the ring talking trash to Taker. Highlights air from Show and Lesnar’s post match assault on Taker. Vince says Taker looks like a bitch on his hands and knees. Vince says he wants to personally congratulate him on his victory. Vince asks him if it was worth it for him to get his title shot. Vince says as long as he is alive, Taker will never be the WWE champion. Vince is great in this role. Vince asks him what kind of match it is going to be. Taker moans that he will have his revenge at Survivor Series. Taker says the match is going to be a buried alive. Vince says that is wonderful. He goes on to say Brock will bury Taker six feet under at Survivor Series. Taker says Vince has it all wrong. Vince is his opponent at Survivor Series. Vince has a great “I just crapped my pants” expression on his face.

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