Submitted by Rajah on November 15, 2003 at 08:05:04

Here it is.

Welcome. Once again, I shall be your host. Yes me, the King of Bling Bling, xpacnumber1fan. And here is your Smackdown! report.

Intro. We are live from Buffalo, New York. Cazz welcome us to the show. We see the match up screen for Eddie vs. Basham Brothers later in the night. Damn Shaniqua is hot. You gringos just don't understand the beauty of a woman like Shaniqua. Wow.

Anyway, Rey Mysterio's music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Now it's guy with one of the coolest tron's turn, John Cena. He grabs a mic, and I quote:

"The chances of John Cena losing to Rey Mysterio, that's like Big Show at a buffet ordering one Cheerio. I'm a box officie smash, I'm reloaded like the Matrix. How am I going to lose to a midget dominatrix? Hey, you can say you're a grown man, I just don't believe you. You're a baby, I don't know whether to spank you or breastfeed you. Yo, forget the 619. 911 is your slogan, I'm about to put a whipping on the Mexican Gary Coleman. Na, na, na, yo, yo, yo, for real, the mask is kinda cute, and the entrance is crazy slick, but we don't see eye to eye Rey, because your head's at my, *audience* dick." The audience then starts chanting Cena. The bells rings and now starts,

John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio
The circle each other but Cena says signals to wait. he then gets on his knees and tells Mysterio to come on. But Mysterio goes right in front his face makes the "gimme head" sign. You know, the open palm towards your crotch. Anyway, needless to say Cena gets up quick. Lock up to corner and release. Cena does the "you can't see me wavy hand thingy™" but Mysterio slaps his chest. Cena charges but Mysterio trips him. Rey ducks a clothesline and continues by sliding to the outside. Cena goes out to chase him around the ring. Rey enters and hits the ropes, Cena follows and catches him with a shoulderblock.Cena runs to the ropes and Rey jumps up for a hurricanrana. Cena catches him and holds him as if he is going to powerbomb him but Rey does force out a hurricanarana. Cena throws Rey over the top rope but he holds on, Mysterio goes for a springboard but gets punched in the face. Cena chant. Rey's face to the apron.Goes inside cover gets 2. Rey shot hard into the corner. 2 count. Cena starts up with that ground and pound style. "You can't see me wavy hand thingy™" to ref. Cena charges Rey in a corner but Rey moves and Cena goes chest first into the turnbuckle. Rey goes up to the top rope but Cena hits him. He grabs Rey into a vertical suplex and moves into the center of the ring still holding rey in suplex position. Then, in a cool ass move, Cena looks directly into the camera and does the "you can't see me wavy hand thingy™" whilst holding up Rey in the vertical suplex with one hand. Very, very cool. Delayed vertical suplex gets 2 and rear chinlock applied. rey fights out but Cena hits him. Irish whip to the corner but Rey elbows him as he charges. He tries again but this time receives a kick to the face. Rey goes to kick Cena but he holds his foot. He then enziguiris his other foot into a wheelbarrow position, Cena brings him and, Rey with a bulldog. Gets 2. Dropkick to knee. Turn around springboard crossbody gets 2. Springboard senton gets 2. Then rey gets NAILED with a clothesline. Cena drops Rey on his throat on the top rope. Cena charges but gets dropped into 619 position. Rey hits it and Cena hits the ref as he recoils back. Rey goes for the West Coast Pop but Cena lowblows him in the air. One F.U. later, Cena gets the 1, 2, 3,.
Winner: John Cena

Paul Heyman's music hits and he comes out with Team Lesnar. Cena chants. Blah blah blah. Basically, in many words Heyman tells Cena he is on Lesnar's team. Cena says no one tells him what to do, plus he wouldn't fit in in Team Sasquatch. A-Train then comes in through the crowd and attacks Cena from behind. Cena is then beatdown. Double big boot by Morgan and Jones. Chokeslam by Show. Chairshot by Lesnar and Cena is left laying. Commercial.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania X. Yokozuna slips on the ropes while going for the Bonzai Drop and Bret Hart wins the WWF Heavyweight Championship. In the back, A-Train apologizes to Team Lesnar for messing up their plans but he had a score to settle with Cena. Heyman says he likes his ambition and offers him a spot on Team Lesnar. A-Train accepts and shakes hands with his teammates. Cazz then talk about Eddie's bad month. They show clips from Show's attack that culminated with a chokeslam on the low rider last month, his loss of the U.S. Title to Big Show (UGH!), his loss of the tag titles, and the Bashams' attack from last week.. Backstage, Chavo basically says that he has always been there for Eddie and that Eddie needs to win tonight for Chavo. Eddie says he will. Commercial.

Slam of the Week: Big Show and Lesnar messing up Faarooq's leg. Read last week's Smackdown! report for a more detailed description. :)

Big Show's music hits and he comes out. Bradshaw then follows him and we have...

Big Show vs. Bradshaw
The things I do for you people. I would usually fast forward this example of excellent mat skills, but I will endure it for the sake of you guys. Bardshaw starts off hard and fast hitting Show with some blows. He then whips Show to the ropes but Show reverses and Bradshaw hits a shoulderblock that knocks back Show in between the second and third rope. Bradshaw then kicks Show in the head and that knocks Show out of the ring. Bradshaw follows but Show takes advantage. He picks up Bradshaw and is about to slam him head first into the ring post but Bradshaw reverses and Show hits the post. He thens throws him in the ring. Bradshaw then climbs to the rope and super shoulderblock gets 2. Bradhsaw tries to whip Show to the ropes but Show reverses and hit a Big Boot. Leg drop. 2 count. Headbutt. Right hand. This thing is moving so slow I'm literally typing these things and waiting for the next move to happen. Headbutt. Chop. Whip to the corner. Bradshaw fights back with some rights but Show stops him with a knee to the gut. Whip to the other corner but Show receives a boot to the face. Then a couple of right hands and a shouldercharge (I made up that word) to the knee later, Show is down. Bradshaw punches him and then whips Show to the ropes but Show reverse AGAIN (they running out of spots or something) and Bradshaw wins this time by just stopping in front of the Big Show and blatantly punching him in the face with a right. Knee to gut. Club to back. Clothesline over the top rope. Bradshaw exposes the steel barricade and throws Show into it. Bradshaw breaks up the count and hits Show's head against the apron. He goes inside the ring and Show stands on the apron. Bradshaw goes to attack Show but Show holds his head and guillotines him. Show charges Bradshaw in the corner but he misses. Bradshaw runs to the ropes and is going to hit the Clothesline From Hell but Show holds his throat right as he is about to hit him. Chokeslam. 1, 2, 3.
Winner: Big Show

Backstage, Paul Heyman backs Torrie up against a wall. He tells her that he is in control now and she is going to do this his way. She says "Paul please" and Heyman says she will please Paul. She is going to do it the way he likes it done, she gets three minutes to get it done, and he wants it done with a big smile on her face.

Segment showing how Steve Austin got his gold chain. It was given to him by Brian Pillman when they were the Hollywood Blondes in WCW so they would look good on television. He's worn it just about every day and probably has the most sentimental value of anything he has. Get the "Stone Cold Truth" now. Available wherever books are sold or WWEShopZone.com.

We come back to find Angle on the phone with someone. Benoit walks in and says what's wrong. Angle says that was Faarooq's doctor and Faarooq won't be ready for SS. Torrie then walks in and says Paul Heyman sent her to deliver a message to them about the main event. They will face A-Train and Lesnar tonight. Benoit says they can take them but then Torrie adds plus Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan then leaves. Angle pretty much says that sucks. Cazz introduce an Undertaker sit down segment.

Taker says that this goes beyond the title. On Survivor Series night, he will have worked for the WWE for 13 years. And in those 13 years, Vince McMahon has screwed with him professionally and personally. Vince does not respect anybody except Vince. The boys show him respect because he shows them respect. Whether he wrestle them, whether he fights them, they have a mutual respect. They go out there and lay it on the line. Vince respects no one though. And for all the people Vince has disrespected, he is going to have to atone for. Bret Hart and Steve Austin. The list is endless. And Vince probably respects his family even less than the boys. He disrespects his wife by flaunting his affairs for the world to see. As Taker says this, we see Vince open mouth kissing Trish, Torrie, and Sable. I don't think I can ever find Trish Stratus attractive ever again. She gave Vince way too much tongue. Anyway, Taker talks about how Vince choked out his own daughter til Linda had to throw in the towel. That's normal activity for Vince, but Taker thinks that in every man's life there comes a time where they have to be accountable for their actions. Even if your name is Vince McMahon. Commercial. Damn, I almost transcribed that word for word.

Come back to a segment called "Cat Is On The Prowl". We see three beautiful ladies sitting in the living room on a hotel room and we see Cat walk out of another room, guarded by a bodyguard, fixing his tie. He then yells out "Lamont, where is my jacket?" And we see a butler with the WORST "black" person wig ever.Cat then stands in front of a mirror and the butler puts on his coat, whilst praising him constantly. He keeps on trying to fix Cat's jacket when Cat gets tells him to stop. The Cat tells him to keep on running his mouth though so the praising starts again. He thens walks out of the room followed by the three ladies and the butler. Pretty funny segment but DAMN that butler has an annoying voice. Sounds like a 15 year old just hitting puberty. Now we see Eddie come out in a pretty phat lowrider. Now it's the Basham's turn. They have a pretty cool ass new tron. Very dark and dominatrix like. Their music still sucks ass though. Eddie gets out of the ring when they come out. In the ring, both gets guy whipped on their asses. Fans just stare on in boredom while they get whipped. Shaniqua points the whip Eddie but Eddie gestures that's not his thing. Damn Shaniqua is hot. Anyway, bell rings and we get...

Handicap Match: Eddie Guerrero vs. The Basham Brothers
We start off with off Eddie and Doug. Shouldberblock and attack. Doug then whips Eddie to the ropes and hits him with a pancake. I forget the name of the move. You know, they lift up you by the belly and just let you drop. He then bends Eddie over, grabs his hand from in between his legs, and then just pretty much lowblows Eddie with his own hand by pulling up on it. And for some reason, as he was pulling up his hand he looked like he was trying to sodomize Eddie as well. Anyway, it wasn't as a move per say so Eddie breaks it wth and elbow to the head and complains to the ref. He yells out "Hey we can't have none of that ese" and he backs into a corner blocking his crotch and behind. He yells out to a fan "He's a homo" but the WWE blanks it out. The look of worry on Eddie's face is priceless. Pretty funny stuff here. Anyway, Doug tries to attack but Eddie catches him with some rights. Head smash to corner. Chops. Irish whip but Doug reverses and Danny knees Eddie in the back. Then Doug does some cool ass move. The best way I can describe it is that he starts out as a pumphandle slam. Instead of putting him up on his shoulder for a slam, he continues to rotate Eddie and Eddie basically backflips onto his belly on the mat and Doug sits down. Sick move. Chop and tag. Danny attacks in the corner. Spinning back suplex gets 2. Eddie fights out of the corner. He holds Danny's hand and runs up to the top turnbuckle. Doug runs in but he realizes what Eddie is about to do so he backs off holding his head while Eddie jumps off and just hurricanrana's Danny. He thens sends Doug over the top rope and then Eddie flies over the top rope and takes out Doug. Danny distracts the ref and Shaniqua takes out Eddie with a big boot to the face. Danny goes for quick pin that gets two. He brings Eddie back to the corner, tag to Doug, and a double slingshot suplex gets 2. Rear chinlock. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Eddie tries to fight out but Doug bodyslams him. Danny with 3 elbow drops. 2 count. Danny sits Eddie down, puts a knee to his back and pulls back Eddie's head. Eddie counters with a jawbreaker but Danny kicks him in the head. Dany tags in Doug and Doug goes up top for a legdrop. he misses. Eddie with shoulder smashes in the corner. Top rope hurricanrana. Rights. Irish whip reversal by Doug and he goes for the same move he went earlier (the pancake) but Eddie catches him with a dropkick in the air. Danny comes in and Eddie is ON FIRE!Backdrop to Danny. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Doug gets 2 when Danny breaks it up. They whip Eddie into a corner. Doug whips Danny into Eddie but Eddie ducks and runs at Doug and dropkicks him. He holds Danny into a standing tornado DDT but as he turns in the air he holds Doug with his legs and does a bulldog/leg scissor take down on both of them. Triple suplex to Doug. Eddie goes up top for the frog splash but Shaniqua climbs up on the apron. The Bashams switch. Eddie thumbs her in the eye and goes up top. He is about to frog splash when he sees soemthing is not right, and he looks to the front row and the fans tell him that they switched. Eddie comes down off the rope and takes Shaniqua's whip while she is still fighting to get in the ring with the ref. He whips Nick Patrick in the ass and gives the whip to Danny. Nick starts yelling at him and Eddie rolls Danny up for the 3 count.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

Chavo comes out to celebrate and they leave in the lowrider. Commercial. And damn that has to be most I've ever typed for one match. Great match.

Come back to replay (read the ending of the 2nd paragraph above). During the break, Chavo and Eddie are in the lowrider saying they have a title shot. They go to celebrate. Come back to Vince McMahon coming out. Instead of his usual swagger he just calmly walks out. He asks the fans to be understanding of what he is about to do. The match at SS hangs over his head like the Sword of Damicles. Ever thought you would hear a reference to that in a wrestling ring? Anyway, long story short. The lights in the arena go out and he kneels down in the center of the ring with a spotlight to pray. In many, many, many words he asks for forgiveness. Not for what he has done, but for what he will do at SS. If any of you really, really want to know in detail what Vince said, too bad. Can't have everything now can't you. :)

Come back to Kurt Angle talking about Bob Holly. Benoit says Holly wants to take out Lesnar. Rhyno says he is a grizzled veteran. Show says Lesnar is a NCAA champion and WWE Champion. In a straight up fist fight, he doesn't know. John Cena says Holly has been in the ring with the best and has beaten the best down. Benoit says he wouldn't want to be the first one Holly faces. Rhyno says he is fears for his opponent. Show says the worst thing you can do is underestimate Holly. Now we see Tajiri coming down to the ring with his cronies. Then Nunzio comes out. Ultimo is out now. He has a mystery partner apparently because Cazz don't know who will partner will be. Then Jamie Noble's music hits and Cazz go apeshit. Noble runs in straight after Tajiri but Nunzio goes after him. Bell rings and we get...

Jamie Noble/Ultimo Dragon vs. Nunio/Tajiri
Nunzio beats down Noble. Irish whip reversal with a kick to the gut by Noble and side suplex gets 2. Stomps and a couple of shorthand clotheslines. Legdrop gets 2. Whip to corner and Dragon is in. Kick to Nunzio. Whip reversal by Nunzio and Dragon ground rolls a clotheline. Nunzio goes to kick him but gets his leg caught. He tries to slap Dragon but can't reach so he just does that chin taunt thing he does and Dragon sweeps him. Kicks to the back of the leg and jumping spin kick gets 2. Nunzio with a rake to the eyes and holds Dragon's leg while tagging Tajiri. Kick to the knee and body. Primal screams included. Whip to Dragon and he gets backbodydropped but lands on his feet. Hurricanrana to Tajiri but he reverses into a roll up and Dragon rolls out of it and kicks Tajiri in the chest while Tajiri is still sitting down. Noble is hot for a tag. Dragon whips Tajiri and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Tajiri rolls out but receives a baseball slide for his efforts. Dragon goes outside to get Tajiri but Tajiri's "friends" get in the way and black Tajiri off. While they do this Nunzio comes off the apron with a double axe handle to the back and Dragon gets beat down by Nunio and Tajiri. 2 count by Tajiri. Tag to Nunzio. Kicks in corner, snapmare, double chop to the neck. Nunzio taunts Noble and then clubs Dragon in the back. Dragon whipped to the corner and Nunzio charges with an elbow. Dragon reverses another whip into the corner but Nunzio puts a knee up. Sicilan Slice by Nunzio. Pin attempt broken up by Noble. Tag to Tajiri. Stomps. Whip to corner but Dragon jumps on the second turnbuckle and does a turn around splash (like Rey Rey). Tajiri then kicks him on the side of the head. Kick to Death to the back. Tajiri grabs Dragon's hand taunt Noble for the tag. Head smash to Nunzio's boot and tag. Stomps. Snapmare. Neck snap. Noble tries to run in but the ref stops him. Nunzio and Tajiri switch. Choke out. Tag. Triangle choke. Breaks it. Puts Dragon on the top turnbuckle but Dragon reverses a superplex attempt with a front suplex. Noble and Tajiri tagged in. Noble is ON FIRE! Beatdown on Tajiri. Nunzio gets knocked down. Noble goes for the Tiger Bomb but Tajiri tries to break it. Tajirir tries a backslide but Noble reverses with a swining neck breaker. Arriverderci by Nunzio. Dragon comes in and takes out Nunzio with a back handspring elbow. Asai moonsault to Nunzio on the outside. Tajiri kicks Noble's shoulder. Noble reverses a whip attempt and Tajiri goes for the handsrping elbow but Nole ducks underneath. And in one fluid motion, Noble tries to reverse a tilt-a-whirl with a hurricanrana but lands on his feet, grabs Taji's hand and gets a Mahistrol Cradle for 3.
Winners: Jamie Noble/Ultimo Dragon

Noble wants to continue attacking Tajiri but his "friends" come in and try to take Noble. But Noble ducks a clothesline by Sakoda and groudrolls a cool ass jumping spinkick by Yang and slides outside and talks crap to them from the outside. Commercial.

Come back to Cazz hyping SS. Lesnar's entrance. He sits down at the announce table. Nathan Jones now. I'm glad they decided to keep his cool ass music. I love it. Anyway, Matt Morgan now with some generic crap. A-Train comes in last for the heels. Angle now. Now Benoit. Bells rings and we have...

Handicap match: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/A-Train/Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan
Angle and Jones start. Angle gazes at Lesnar at the announce table. Angle tries to lock up but Jones shoves him off. Angle with a hammerlock and into a headlock. Jones pushes him to the ropes and huge shoulderblock. Angle with a go behind but Jones pushes him back into a corner and a back elbow breaks the hold. Bodyslam. Jones with a military press but Angle drops out and dropkicks his knee. Tag to Benoit. Benoit with chops but Jones takes it like a man and pushes him back to the corner by the throat. Benoit ducks a right and but another bodyslam gets him down. Benoit groundrolls a clothesline but gets pushed into a corner again. Headbutt. Huge hip toss. Benoit then drop toe holds Morgan and applies a front facelock. Morgan lifts him up and pushes him to Benoit's corner. Blind tag by Angle and kick to Morgan. He punches him but Morgan just stares. Then kicks him in the gut. Another headbutt. Whip to coner and sidewalk slam gets 2. Morgan charges Angle in the corner but Angle dropkicks his knee as he is charging and Morgan just missed his head getting smashed against the middle turnbuckle. Front face lock to his corner. Benoit with rights but Morgan clubs him in the back. A-Train in and he brutalizes Benoit. Bearhug. Benoit tries to reverse but Benoit receives an elbow for his trouble. Big butterfly suplex by Train and time for a break. We come back Train throwing Benoit outside in front the announce table. Brock says he is going to work, takes off his headset, and starts stomping Benoit on the outside. Angle goes to Lesnar and Lesnar backs away. As Angle goes back to his corner Lesnar comes back and rams Benoit's back against the ring post. Angle then runs back and chases Lesnar away. Train sends Benoit back in the ring and 2 count. Tag to Lesnar. Snap suplex by Lesnar. Elbow drop. Stomps and Lesnar with a pretty cool move. He grabs Benoit as if going to for a fisherman suplex, lifts him and holds him up on his shoulders like in a Torture Rack position. He thens falls back. 2 2 counts. Benoit tries to battle back to Lesnar stops tha, tag to Train. more brutalizing. Tag to Mrorgan. Shoulder smashes in corner. Bearhug. Angle then runs in and hits Morgan on the back. Ref chases Angle back out. Train back in. Benoit chops Train but Train hits a backbreaker. He goes for the corner splash but Benoit puts his feet up. German splex. Tag to Lesnar and Angle. Angle is ON FIRE! German suplex to Lesnar. Angle Slam to Morgan. He ducks and A-Train bicycle kick and Train hits Morgan instead. German to Train. Lesnar goes for an F5 but Angle reverses to an Angle Slam. Ankle lock to Lesnar. Crossface to Train. Show runs in and sidekicks Angle and elbows Benoit. Chokeslam to Angle. He tries to chokeslam Benoit but Benoit reverses and tries to go for the Crossface, but Show won't go down. While Benoit has Show's arm trying to being him down, Bradshaw runs in and delivers a Clothesline From Hell to Show. Jones boots Bradshaw in the head. Morgan with a sitout powerbomb but Cena runs in with a steel chair. Audience goes nuts. Chair to Jones. Chair to Morgan. But then Big Show runs in and punches the chair out of Cena's hands and receives a Derailer from A-Train. Or the Train Wreck. Whichever one is the sitout double armed chokeslam. Lesnar then gets the chair and hits Angle, Benoit, and Cena with it. Team Lesnar then raise their hands together in the center of the ring. Replay and fade out.

Like always, feedback appreciated. thecruzanhurricane@hotmail.com . If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, I apologize. But like hell I'm going to read through any of this. :) And if any of my loyal readers out there has some spare time, check out the RajahWWF Forums. This is your King of Bling Bling signing out.

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