Submitted by Rajah on December 06, 2003 at 09:13:34

Resident Smackdown Reporter, the King of Bling Bling xpacnumber1fan here. Let's get cracking.

I must apologize right here. I stupidly recorded over the first 12 minutes of Smackdown. But I'm assuming...

Intro. Pyro. Cazz welcome us to Boise, Idaho. From what I've read in other reports and spoilers and such what happened is that Paul Heyman came out to the ring, called the whole Smackdown roster down and made a battle royal for later in the night. The winner would face Brock Lesnar for the title the same night. He made it a little bit harder for Chris Benoit and John Cena though. In order for them to qualify, Benoit must beat Matt Morgan and Cena A-Train. Now let's get to the recorded section.

Lugz Boot of the Week: Nathan Jones tapping to the Crossface last week.

Benoit is in the ring. Matt Morgan now comes out and now we have...

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan is climbing into the ring when Benoit pounces on him. Benoit beats Morgan on the outside but Morgan hits Benoit and throws him inside. Benoit then tries to fight back but Morgan knees him in the stomach. Morgan whips Benoit to the ropes but Benoit slides under Morgan and dropkicks his knee, then his face. Chops and German suplex. Benoit goes for another one but Morgan backs up into a corner and breaks it. Huge chop. Irish whip to corner and charging clothesline. Benoit's head is hanging on the second rope (619 position) and Morgan charges Benoit and sits on his head. Headbutt. Vertical suplex and standing legdrop gets two. Boot choke. Morgan pushes Benoit into the corner and irish whips him. Benoit comes out and receives a sidewalk slam. Blatant choke by Morgan. Gutbuster. Morgan tries for the same second rope head charge (I'm so smart) but Benoit moves out of the way. Benoit goes for the headbutt but Morgan moves. Morgan goes for a powerbomb but Benoit reverses into a Crossface and Morgan taps out. Very cool spot.
Winner: Chris Benoit

Cut to Jamie Noble and Nidia in the back. Jamie Noble is waving in front of Nidia and asks her if she really can't see. Nidia (with some huge black goggles and walking stick) says she would not lie about something about that. Noble says that he just wants to make sure that she isn't doing it just to get some extra attention but Nidia dismisses that idea. Noble screams at her loudly and Nidia gets scared. She says that she is blind, not deaf and Noble apologizes. Noble then says that she going out there is a liability and talks about last week. Nidia says that they will compromise. She will go out there but she will just sit with Cazz and do nothing. She starts to beg and Noble says OK.

Come back to Cazz being animated as turkeys talking smack to each other. Then a lil vignette reminding us that Cat will be here TONIGHT! Jamie Noble now comes out, helping Nidia find her way to the announcers booth. Tajiri's music now hits and Akio makes his way out, along with Tajiri. We have...

Akio vs. Jamie Noble
Akio attacks Noble at the bell and stomps him out. Chops. Akio irish whips Noble into the corner but Noble reverses and sends Akio flying into the corner. Stomps by Noble and irish whip into the ropes. Akio slides under the ropes but Noble torpedoes between the second and third ropes. Noble then chases Tajiri into the ring but Akio drills him with a spin kick inside the ring. Two count. Irish whip by Akio and sleeper. Noble pushes Akio into the ropes and he now applies the sleeper. Akio with a jawbreaker though and gets 2. Some confusing ass spot now happens. Bunch of roll up and roll up reversals. Pretty cool. Ends with a double clothesline. Chop for chop. Shorthand clothesline by Noble and knee to the gut. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Noble charges Akio in the corner but gets an elbow for his trouble. Hanging triangle choke by Akio. At the announcer's table, Tajiri is in front of Nidia looking at her and messing with her. In the ring, Noble catches Akio with a superplex. Tajiri is now standing on the announce table in front of Nidia. Nidia starts feeling up his boot and his legs. Tajiri tells her to keep on, kinda implying fellatio is his own strange Japanese way of expression. Nidia then puts an end to those wet dreams with a nutshot. In the ring, Noble is distracted and Akio rolls up Noble for the 3 count.
Winner: Akio

Noble goes to the announcer's table and Nidia starts apologizing but Noble says it's OK. Noble then helps Nidia to the back. Cut to Shannon Moore still hurting from the beating he took last week from Matt Morgan. Paul Heyman then walks up to him and tells him that he envisions him on the cover of Smackdown Magazine. Paul Heyman sees big things for Moore and Moore is going to compete tonight. It will be Shannon Moore against Nathan Jones. Moore doesn't look to happy. Then cut to Rey Mysterio giving Thanksgiving thanks to all his peeps.

Come back to Moore in the ring. Nathan Jones comes out to that cool ass music of his. As Jones is getting into the ring Moore attacks with a knee to the head. The bells rings and we get...

Shannon Moore vs. Nathan Jones
Basically, its a mauling. Won't go into much details but a couple of pretty cool spots. First, Jones is inside the ring and Moore is outside. Jones leans down from the inside of the ring over the top rope, grabs Moore by the neck and pulls him up to the point that Moore is standing on the top rope. The then just tosses Moore back outside. In another one, Jones charges Moore in the corner but Moore gets his feet up. Moore starts climbing up the turnbuckles, probably trying to go for a moonsault but Jones stops him. He then just grabs Moore and throws him so that Moore does a backflip of the second turnbuckles. I guess Moore completed that moonsault after all. Too bad he only caught mat. He then lifts Moore off the mat with one hand and then flings him outside. Moore does Shawn Michael's "holy shit" bump on that one. That had to hurt. Jones goes to 3 count but lifts Moore up. Moore kicks Jones in the head and that angers him. So one sick gutwrench suplex later Moore gets a 3.
Winner: Nathan Jones

I said I wasn't going to go much into detail but that WAS pretty much the whole match. Anyway, earlier in the day some Smackdown superstars sat down for the Thanksgiving feast. We see some Smackdown superstars enjoying a meal, as well as someone dressed as a turkey. The Bashams are decked out in full S&M gear. Danny is wearing a black leather mask and Doug with one of those balls in his mouth (good luck eating). There is also some girl dressing in Native American clothing. Cena then comes in tells everyone to wait. He says that it's Thanksgiving. he tells Rhyno that he has to say grace before he eats an Rhyno begrudgingly (I use big words) puts down a turkey leg. Cena bows his head and does a rap for us (plus the turkey is Spanky). And I quote...

"Let's bow our heads, for this moment of blessing. And toss Torrie Wilson's salad, and hope there's no dressing. I could eat her breast and thighs. And when I get her alone, I'll spoon-feed her white meat and hope she chokes on a bone. I got banana cream Dawn you wanna give it a try? For desert I'm getting some of that Dawn Marie pie. Shaniqua, why are you sitting with them Bashams at all? You got a plate full of sausage, he's choking on a ball. Let me give you some advice. Cut these losers loose. Let me put some white sprinkles on your chocolate mousse. You may be Native American, but I'm pinching a teepee. You make me wanna stand up and smack my freakin TV. You make it real steamy, just like a pressure cooker. And after you done with me you hit the Gobbeldy Gooker (Spanky makes some weird ass turkey sounds). Yo I'm gonna feast on this pie but wait a minute while I check it. Cause I get my pie first, everybody else is second. Amen."

He leaves then everyone pigs out. Some vs. screens (Cena vs. A-Train, Eddie vs. Haas) and we cut to commercial. And by the way, Cena has a cool new vs. screen video. Just thought I would let you know.

Eddie runs into Chavo in the back and tells Eddie that he shouldn't go out there. Chavo says that he is OK and he will have his back. Charlie Haas now comes out, along with Shelton Benjamin. Eddie and Chavito now come out in a nice lowrider as always. Bell rings and we have...

Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas
Quick irish whip to corner by Haas to Eddie. Eddie fires up on Haas though and tilt-a-whirl backbeaker gets 2. Dropkick to the thigh by Eddie. Stomps to knee. Chavo throws in a couple of cheap shots onto Haas' knee. Irish whip reversal by Haas and huge backbody drop. Interesting backsuplex backbreaker variation there by Haas. 2 count. Choke and a club to the kidney by Haas. Hard irish whip to the corner. Backsuplex gets 2. Fireman's carry throw into an armbar, knees into rib included. Eddie stands up and knees out of it. Whip into corner by Eddie but Haas reverses. He charges Eddie but takes an elbow to the face. Face smashes to the corner and top rope hurricanrana. Two clothesline and Eddie hits his 3 vertical suplex spot. Eddie goes up for the Frog Splash but Shelton goes on the apron and distracts the ref. Eddie rolls out of the Frog Splash and knocks Shelton off the apron. Shelton gets back on so Eddie bails to the outside, grabs Chavo's crutch knocking down Chavito in the process (much to Chavo's chagrin [look it up]), and nails Haas with the crutch in the ribs. Small package gets 3.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

After the match, Shelton attacks Eddie and Shelton starts attacking Chavo knees. Eddie grabs the crutch from the outside and whails Shelton in the back. Chavo then starts arguing with Eddie about not having his back, he has a hurt knee, etc. Looks like the turn is delayed yet another week...

Come back to the Smack of the Night: Last week Cena beating Big Show by using the steel steps. A-Train's music now hits and he comes down to the ring. Cena's music now plays and he comes down to the ring asking for a mic. Cena is attacked by Train before he can say anything though (huge boos by the audience) and we now have...

A-Train vs. John Cena
A-Train starts beating down Cena but Cena comes back and starts punching Train and goes for the F.U. early. But Train bails out and goes outside of the ring. Train comes back in they start fistfighting each other. Cena reverses an irish whip charge by putting his feet up but Train puts his down with a bicycle kick. Corner charge and elbow to the back. Powerslam gets 2. Abdominal stretch by Train. Cena battles out and tries to scoop slam Train but he falls back and Train gets a 2 count. Cena gets tossed over the top rope. Shave your back chants. Train goes outside and brings Cena in the ring. While Train is outside he hangs Cena on the top rope and Cena goes back and nails the ref in the eye. When Train is coming in the ring Cena kicks the second, resulting in a nutshot. The Throwback. Cena with some rights. Big shoulderblock an standing dropkick. Then a scoop slam and a fist drop gets 2. Train muscles out a backbreaker while getting up. Irish whip to corner but Cena escapes a charge and catches Train with a Protoplex (a backsuplex variation). Cena prepares for the F.U. but Train escapes. Derailer but Cena grabs the bottom rope. Train pulls out Cena to the middle of the ring and tries to pin again but gets a 2. Train goes outside and throws 3 chairs inside. Train is going to hit Cena with a chair but Cena kicks Train in the gut and one F.U. later Cena advances to the battle royal. Winner: John Cena

Don't forget, Cat is next. Come back from commercial seeing Holly getting indefinitely suspended. Cazz conduct a satellite interview with Holly at his home in Mobile, Alabama. Blah blah blah. Holly is going to appeal the suspension, he is going to come back and break Lesnar's neck. Come back to Lamont in the ring and he introduces Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Lamont needs a new wig. Anyway, Cat comes out with some spiffy music and a leather jump suit. I wish they kept the old WCW James Brown music he had. Basically, he wants to entertain Boise and he isn't going home until he turns it out. He starts dancing with Lamont yelling encouragement in the background. Not the best reaction, I can hear some boos actually. Cat says he wants someone from Boise to come dance with him. He asks a couple of people from the audience but says that only on person in the back can dance with him. He then calls out Boise, Idaho's very own, Torrie Wilson. Wilson comes out, all smiles, and Cat asks for his music to hit. Wilson asks Cat to dance first and Cat obliges. Wilson then tries to imitate Cat's groovy soul moves but can't really do it. She is a bit embarrassed so she tries to leave but Cat stops her and says that they all love her. Cat tells her to watch him and Cat starts to dance again. Then Wilson realizing that it is impossible to dance up to Cat's incredible standards, she starts doing the whole stripper thing. She bumps and grinds up against Cat then pulls a lollipop out of her bra. You women hide things everywhere eh? Anyway, she starts sucking on the lollipop and then drops it into the Cat's mouth. She leaves all the while Cat catches an epileptic seizure and starts going nuts all over the ring. Pretty entertaining segment. We see the vs. screen for the battle royal which is next. According to the vs. screen, the 20 I see that are participating in it are...

Matt Morgan, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli, Bradshaw, Rikishi, Rhyno, Big Show, T.W.G.T.T, Scotty 2 Hotty, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, John Cena, Ultimo Dragon, Chris Benoit, and the Basham Brothers.

John Cena then gives his Thanksgiving shout outs.

Come back to find a bunch of superstars already waiting in the ring. T.W.G.T.T has just been introduced. Rey Rey. Basham Brothers. Rhyno. S2H and the Kish. Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. Finally, Big Show. Bell rings and Show tosses out Stamboli in no time. I ain't even gonna try and call this. Show eliminates Dragon then Orlando Jordan. Danny Basham, still decked out in his leather mask, tries to attack Show but he gets tossed out too. After a minute, everybody in the ring try to beat down Big Show in the center on the ring. Then in a Matrix 2 like moment Shows throws everybody off of him. They try again and this time push him to the ropes but after about 15 seconds of struggling Show pushes them all off again. Benoit leads the attack on Show again and all the superstars in the ring try to toss him out again. This time they succeed in getting Show out and Show is pissed. He kicks and takes apart the announce table. Show clothesline Jordan on his way out. Commercial. Come back from commercial. They show us that during the break Bradshaw eliminates Jones with a clothesline and then Rikishi throws Bradshaw out. Bradshaw was pretty pissed. Palumbo tries to throw out Scotty but Scotty holds on the apron. Train wants goes to bicycle kick Palumbo but Palumbo ducks and Scotty is eliminated. Then Train turns right into a gore. Guerrero dropkicks Train out of the ring, then Rhyno is eliminated by Matt Morgan. Left in the ring: Shelton Benjamin, Rey Mysterio, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Matt Morgan, Doug Basham, Eddie Guerrero, Charlie Haas, Rikishi, and Chuck Palumbo. Benjamin whips Mysterio into the ropes and when he comes back Mysterio tries to slide under Benjamin but Benjamin drops to his knees and catches Mysterio. He then goes for a powerbomb but Mysterio reverses into a hurricanrana, Benjamin landing in 619 position. Mysterio then hits the 619. Minute or two pass. Mysterio still laying tired on the apron, obviously waiting for a spot. Haas, Palumbo, and Morgan are trying to eliminate Rikishi and are getting him over the rope but Cena and Benoit come and dump all of em. Mysterio finally is able to do his spot after a couple of minutes waiting on the apron. He springboards onto Cena and Benoit who catch him, then dump him over the rope over their heads onto the group of guys just eliminated on the outside. Doug Basham then charges Cena who pulls the top rope and Basham goes flying over. Now we are down to just four: Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Chris Benoit, and Shelton Benjamin. All four have their backs to the corners, facing off each other. Cena chants. They pair off, Cena with Benjamin and Guerrero with Benoit. We switch now with Guerrero going after Benjamin. Guerrero reverses an irish whip with a powerslam. He then goes after Benoit. Inverted atomic drop by Benoit though and snap suplex. Triple vertical suplex spot to Cena. Guerrero then tries to throw Cena over but Cena literally hangs on to all 3 ropes. Benjamin then breaks it up. Benjamin with a hardass powerbomb to Guerrero. Benoit then catches Benjamin with the triple Germans. Guerrero goes up top and catches Benjamin with a beautiful Frog Splash. F.U. to Guerrero. Huge triple Germans to Cena. Stiff superkick to Benoit and Benjamin is the only guy up. Benjamin tries to throw Benoit over the top but Benoit skins the cat, grabs Benjamin with his legs and throws him out. Guerrero then follows. So now it is down to Cena and Benoit. They face off a bit. Basically, at the end Cena is on the apron teetering. But then he grabs Benoit in a fireman's carry on the apron and both of them fall down at the same time. One ref declares one the winner and the other the other. Cazz argue as well, Tazz think Cena won and Cole thinking Benoit won. Lesnar's music hits and he comes down to the ring, ready to defend his title. Cut to commercial.

They show the replay and Cena and Benoit did a damn good job in hitting the floor at the same time. Everyone is in the ring now, including Paul Heyman. Heyman questions the first ref and he says Benoit won. Heyman asks if Benoit gives his word that Cena's feet hit first he says yea. Heyman then questions the second ref and he says that Benoit's feet hit first. He asks Cena if he is sure that Benoit hit first? Cena says as sure as he is that Heyman is a fat tub of donkey crap. He then does the "you can't see me wavy hand thingy™". Audience starts chanting triple threat. Heyman says that the fans would love to see a triple threat match. But that wouldn't be in the best interest of the WWE title. He says that Benoit and Cena will face each other and the winner will face Lesnar for the title. The best part, is that that match will take place... next week. Lesnar then tries to attack both of them but Benoit starts beating Lesnar with some rights. Team Lesnar then comes down and beats both of them down. Crowd starts chanting bullshit. Some sick F5's to Benoit and Cena. Fans start chanting you tapped out but Lesnar grabs the mic and starts chanting I'm the champ, I'm the champ. He also wants to tell Benoit and Cena to have a Happy Thanksgiving. Fade to black...

Pretty good show in my opinion. See what happens when you have no McMahon in a show? Anyway, feedback to thecruzanhurricane@hotmail.com. Really appreciated. See you guys next week. Until then, this is your King of Bling Bling signing out.

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