Submitted by Rajah on May 02, 2002 at 22:58:35

-We're here in the Peoria Civic Center in Peoria, IL for Smackdown! with Michael Cole and Tazz.

-Hulk Hogan comes out, sporting his new Undisputed title. The crowd cheers for a good few minutes. He can't begin to describe how it feels to be in front of the Hulkamaniacs as champion. If it wasn't for Hogan, maybe he might not be champ. But he knows in his heart that he would be. But there's only one way to know for sure. He's going to give Triple H a rematch tonight! He's been in this business a long time, and he's fought the best and the nastiest. But Triple H has taken the game to a whole new level. He's the very best he's ever wrestled. Triple H comes out. Hogan has a question in his mind whether he would be champ if Taker didn't interfere? There's no question in Trips' mind. Hogan still earned Triple H's respect at Backlash. With the mere fact that he's willing to defend that title, Hogan earned Trips' respect again. But, Triple H loves that title. It is his religion, it is his law. Triple H shook Hogan's hand like a man when he lost the title. The question is, when Triple H gets back the title tonight, will Hogan do the same? Vince comes out. Last time he checked, neither Triple H nor Hogan were co-owners of the WWF. Vince makes the matches. He listens to the fans and makes the best matches. Do the fans want to see Hogan vs. Trips? They cheer big time. Then, tonight...nope, he can't do it. They have to start cleaning things up in the WWF. He has to get rid of the criminal element. Trips was arrested on Monday, he doesn't deserve a rematch. Plus, he didn't even give Jericho a rematch after Wrestlemania. If Hogan wants to defend, he can defend the title next week against the winner of tonight's match between Triple H and Chris Jericho. Triple H and Hogan, whatcha gonna do? Vince does his best mock impression of Triple H and Hogan.

Commercial break.

-We see clips from Backlash where Tajiri beat Kidman for the Cruiserweight title.

-Chuck gives Billy a massage in their lockerroom. Rico tells Chuck he's massaging wrong. He instructs Chuck how to give the proper "blow" (I swear I'm not making that up). Tajiri and Torrie come in. The boys get very excited for Tajiri, then ignore Torrie. They congratulate him on beating Kidman. No way someone with that bad of a fasion sense should be a champion. Chuck suggests that they go with the gold ensemble. Rico tells Torrie that the geisha look isn't working for her. It's not the dress, it's the person in it. He lifts up her skirt, she goes to slap him, but Tajiri stops her. Rico then says her forehead is too high. He gives her a headband like Chuck and Billy's, but it's written in Japanese. Tajiri takes it and puts it on. Then he makes Torrie give him a kiss on the cheek.

Maven, Al Snow, and Billy Kidman vs. Billy, Chuck, and Tajiri
-Maven and Al Snow come out first. Billy Kidman comes out to no crowd response (they cheer the hell out of Maven, but give nothing for Kidman? That's criminal). Tajiri and Torrie come out next. Billy and Chuck come out last with Rico. Kidman and Chuck start. Armdrag and dropkick by Kidman. Belly to belly by Chuck, 1-2-kickout. Headscissors takedown off the top rope by Kidman. Tag to Maven. Clotheslines and Spinning Heel kick to Chuck. Billy gets in the ring, and Maven hits an armdrag on him. Clothesline by Billy. Doubleteam by Billy and Chuck. Tag to Billy. Fameasser by Billy, 1-2-Snow breaks it up. Tag to Tajiri. He goes for the Kick of Death, but he sees Rico lifting up Torrie's skirt. Torrie slaps Rico, and Tajiri goes after her. Hurricanrana and dropkick by Kidman to Billy. Tornado DDT to Billy. Superkick by Chuck to Kidman. Back body drop by Snow to Chuck. Tajiri hits a kick to the face of Snow. Maven dropkicks Tajiri out of the ring. Snow and Maven depants Chuck and Billy, who are wearing thongs (what is with the WWF's depantsing obsession of late?). Billy and Chuck run away. Torrie depantses Rico, who is also wearing a matching thong. Spinning Heel Kick by Tahiri. Kidman counters the powerbomb and slams Tajiri's face to the canvas. Shooting Star Press by Kidman, 1-2-3!
Here are your winners- Maven, Al Snow, and Billy Kidman

-After the match, Maven and Al put on Billy and Chuck's trunks and slap each other in a very homosexual manner.

-Angle sees some worker backstage. The worker asks if he can help Angle. Angle sayus he can help him. He seems overweight. Angle is going to unveil his new shirt with all his accomplishments listed on the front. It's very clever, which is why he makes the big bucks. They couldn't fit on the small, medium, or large. There's only an XXL. He's going to get one for the big guy, half price! How about that!

Commercial break.

-Stacy is in Vince's office, giving him a brain massage. Some guy comes in. He's Randy Orton! He has his trial match tonight. Vince runs through Randy's family history for a minute and wishes him luck. Vince leaves for a minute and Stacy introduces herself. She says he has big hands. She'll critique his body before he has his match tonight. He takes off his sweatshirt. She wants him to try out some of his holds. She puts his hand on her hip, when Vince comes in. She says that Randy was hitting on her and started stripping. Vince yells at Randy and tells him he's facing Hardcore Holly.

-Christian tells a bunch of guys that they're going to make some money. Farooq and Mark Henry come over. Christian tells Henry that since he's the World's Strongest Man, he should bend a metal cooking pan. Henry bends it. Test gives him a steel rod. Henry bends it too. Christian hits Henry with the cooking pan.

Commercial break.

Harcore Holly vs. Randy Orton
-Hardcore Holly comes out first. Orton comes out next to some good music. Belly to back by Orton. Shoulderblock by Holly. Armdrag and bulldog by Orton, 1-2-kickout. Clothesline by Holly. Kick to the gut by Holly. Holly continues to Work on Orton on the ropes. Flapjack onto the ropes by Orton. Standing dropkick by Orton, 1-2-kickout. Orton goes up top. Holly goes after him. Orton pushes him off and hits a cross body, 1-2-kickout. Drop toe hold by Orton, who rolls Holly up for the 1-2-3!
Here is your winner- Randy Orton

-Angle loves his new shirts. He tells a photographer that they're going to be big. He wants them on the cover of every magazine. Edge sneaks in and out while Angle continues talkin gto the photographer. Angle tells the photographer to bring them to the ring in a minute.

Commercial break.

-Angle comes out. His new shirt is under a sheet on an easel in the middle of the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, most people aspire to be rich and famous, but end up in hick towns like this one. He means, listen to the name "Peoria"! Angle still loves all his fans. He knows they're excited to have an Olympic Champion among them. Many people there are enormously obese. Congratulations. It's now to their advantage. Tonight, he'll unveil his new shirt. He designed it himself only for XXL or larger. You need all the space you can get for all his achievements. He knows what they ask him, "Kurt, I'm grossley overwight and pathetic. Wouldn't wearing your shirt be a lie?". Yes, it would, but it's okay. Once you wear his shirt, you'll feel like a winner. Without further ado...Edge (a.k.a. Chris Jericho Jr.) comes out. Angle wants to know why he's there. To make wisecracks? Angle beat him at Backlash. Edge has nothing on Angle. Edge says that they had one helluva match. Edge wants to congratulate Angle. Edge couldn't be happier He wants to see Angle's shirt. He's dead serious. Angle knew Edge would come around. They shake hands. Angle tells the photographers to gather round. Here it is...Angle calls for a drumroll and gets it...he lifts the sheet and reveals a blue shirt that says "You Suck". Angle, without looking at the shirt, asks if it isn't him. It makes a great gift...he looks at it and tells them to stop taking pictures. Edge says it's him. Edge asks for the music that inspired the shirt. They play Angle's music, and the fans chant "You Suck" to the beat.

-We see clips from RAW of Triple H beating down the Undertaker.

Commercial beak.

-We see clips of Henry lifting the car from last week on Smackdown!

Mark Henry vs. Christian
-Henry comes out. Christian comes out. Henry tosses Christian over the top. He tosses him back onto the top rope, then punches him down to the canvas. Clothesline by Henry. Double armed clothesline by Henry. Body splash by Henry, 1-2-kickout. Claw hold by Henry, but Christian hits a low blow. Dropkick to the face by Christian. Henry counters the Unprettier and locks in a Bearhug. Christian taps.
Here is your winner- Mark Henry

-Jericho is interviewed about his match tonight. It's a testament to Vince's intelligence to prove this is the land of opportunity by giving Jericho the match tonight. He has the chance to regain the title from Hollywood Has-been. What's better than that? He gets to face Triple H, Hogan, and the Undertaker. He's not overlooking Triple H. He only held the title for four weeks, while Jericho held it for four glorious months. Triple H didn't even give Jericho a rematch! He's Jericho's stepping stone to regaining the title.

Commercial break.

Rikishi and Edge vs. Albert and Kurt Angle
-Rikishi comes out first, followed by Edge. Albert (the man who needs some serious clothing, stat) comes out next. Angle comes out last. Angle and Edge start. Clothesline by Edge. Spinning heel kick by Edge. Belly to belly by Angle. Tag to Albert. Double armed stall suplex by Albert, 1-2-kickout. Edge pushes Albert into Angle and hits Albert with a Spear, 1-2-Angle breaks it up. Edge counters the Angle Slam and hits a facebuster. Tag to Rikishi. Clotheslines to Albert and Angle. Powerslam to Albert. Rikishi tosses Angle into Albert in the corner, then backs it up on both of them. Clothesline to Angle. Samoan drop to Albert. Rikishi sits on Albert, 1-2-Kurt breaks it up. Rikishi clotheslines Albert over the top. Angle and Edge battle to the outside. Rikishi clotheslines Albert in the corner. Rikishi goes for a Stinkface, but Kurt comes in and hits an Angle Slam. Spear to Angle. Albert tosses Edge out. Superkick to Albert. Rikishi throws Angle over. Bicycle kick and Baldo Bomb to Rikishi, 1-2-3!
Here are your winners- Kurt Angle and Albert

-After the match, Edge and Angle battle outside when Albert tosses Edge in the ring. Albert holds him while Angle gets a chair. Edge kicks the chair in Angle's face and hits a low blow on Albert. Albert and Angle leave.

-D-Von gets ready to kick it off in the right way. He pulls out his collection plate.

Commercial break.

-D-Von is out in the crowd, getting money. Some guy steals the plate, and D-Von chases him. The guy trips, and D-Von beats him down. D-Von sends the guy through a table. Thou shalt not steal!

-Angle sees the worker from before and tells him to get his call. He turns around to show he's wearing the "You Suck" shirt. Damn that Edge!

-Triple H gets ready for his match.

Commercial break.

Chris Jericho vs. Triple H- #1 Contender's Match
-Jericho comes out first, followed by Triple H. Jericho dives out of the ring. He gets back in and takes it to Triple H. Shoulder block and right hands by Triple H. Jericho goes over the top. Trips chases him around and into the ring, hitting a clothesline. Jericho goes into the steel post, shoudler first. Armwrenches by Trips. Jericho goes into the post again. Armwrenches by Triple H. Armbar takedown by Triple H. Triple H slams the left arm of Jericho into the post. Rake to eyes by Jericho. Trips goes into steps. Flying forearm by Jericho back in the ring. Clotehsline by Jericho. Sleeper by Jericho. Triple H counters, knocking Jericho down. Accidental headbutt to the groin of Jericho. In Vince's office, the Undertaker comes in. Vince asks what the hell he's doing here.

Commercial break.

-Back in the match, Breakdown by Jericho, 1-2-kickout. Spinning heel kick by Jericho, 1-2-kickout. Jericho misses a spear in the corner. Neckbreaker by Triple H. Spinebuster by Triple H, 1-2-kickout. Neckbreaker by Jericho. Jericho goes up top, but Trips pushes the ropes, knocking Jericho down. Triple H goes for the Superplex, but Jericho pushes him off and hits the Missile Dropkick, 1-2-kickout. Running knee strike by Triple H, 1-2-kickout. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Trips hits a clothesline, 1-2-kickout. Jericho goes for a dropkick, but Trips counters into a Slingshot. Jericho lands on the second rope, but misses the springboard dropkick. Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Jericho counters into a backslide, 1-2-kickout. Jericho hits a bulldog but misses the Lionsault. Triple H goes for a Pedigree again, but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho. Triple H gets to the ropes. Jericho thought he won, but Tim White tells him otherwise. Jericho gets two chairs. He tosses one by the ref, who is distracted and throws it out. Jericho goes for a chairshot, but Trips hits a DDT, 1-2-kickout. Facebuster by Triple H. Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Taker distracts him. Trips hits Taker. Jericho rolls Triple H with a schoolboy, 1-2-3!
Here is your winner- Chris Jericho

-After the match, Trips goes after Jericho, but he and Undertaker beat on Triple H. Chokeslam to Triple H. Walls of Jericho on Triple H. Taker gets a chair, but Hogan comes out and knocks him outside. Hogan battles Taker to the outside as Jericho motions that he'll get the title.

End Show.

Man of the Night- Billy Kidman. Someone give this poor kid some cheering! Come on!

Match of the Night- Jericho vs. HHH. Good, solid match. Wish it wasn't broken up by a commercial, though.

Quotation of the Night- "You could use a Triple X."- Kurt Angle, about tee shirt sizes. XXX. Heh.

Sign of the Night- "Rico did my hair"- by a bleach blonde guy

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