Submitted by Rajah on February 13, 2003 at 21:20:52

Pre-Intro: Highlight package for the new tag team of Nathan Jones and Mark Henry, AKA Chocolate Milk. I'm lying. Pay no attention to that. We are treated to a box dangling over the ring instead. Gobbledygooker/Yeti/Shockmaster rule #1: If it's a surprise in a box, egg or behind a wall; it probably isn't good.

(1) Rey Misterio defeated Jamie Noble.
Rey came to the ring while checking out the box dangling from the air. Apparently, this is Undertaker's big surprise. Nidia looks good, I don't give a rats ass what Stephanie "My ass could be a staging point for Gulf War II" Levesque, says. Some great counter work to start, particularly off the ropes. Military press into a fireman's carry, into a gut-buster by Noble, nice and smooth. Abdominal stretch by Noble, but Rey countered with the wheel barrel-bull dog. Body press off the ropes by Rey Jr., followed by a spinning DDT that scored a two count. Rey tried to set up for a springboard on the outside, and Nidia tripped him up, allowing Noble to gain the advantage on the outside. This is a match everyone in the X-Division should watch, just to catch the psychology and how it planed into the high spots. Noble got tripped up and Rey went for the 619, but Nidia pulled Noble down for the miss. Slingshot power bomb by our Redneck Messiah,, but Rey countered quick and nailed both Nidia and Noble with a double 619 to a gigantic pop. Springboard 'rana, without the cradle, for the three count wins it for Rey.

The Rock then appeared for his interview. They really pumped up the fake heel heat when Rock's mug appeared. Rock did some Philly-bashing and asked someone for some Tampa-tofu. Hogan then talked about coming back last time to Philly and hearing his name chanted. The fans then chanted "Hogan." Rock then said he didn't mind getting booed because Philly booed Donovan McNabb when he was drafted and they booed Mike Schmidt. Rock switched the subject over to Hogan. He said he tried to get in contact with Hogan, but he disappeared. Then he turned on his TV and saw Hogan doing ballet with Terry Bradshaw and a Muppet on some long distance commercial. Rock tore into Hogan some more and said he's going to lay the smackdown on him at No Way Out.

(2) Rikishi defeated Nunzio.
Nunzio went low on Rikishi the minute he got into the ring. he managed to get a quick two count from the attack, but Rikishi nailed Nunzio with a standing choke slam, a body slam and a standing side kick before splashing him in the corner. So much for Nunzio's quick start. Running ass splash in the corner is followed by the Ass of Doom splash off the middle rope for a three count. Post-match, Rikishi grabbed his hat and started dancing when Nunzio interrupted him. He accused him of disrespecting him and said the people he's with won't like that. He said Rikishi made a big mistake before Rikishi ran him off.

Heyman came out and wanted Undertaker's box put in the ring.

Heyman came to the ring and informed everyone the box was from Big Show, but he wasn't here tonight. Then came 'Taker, who ran off Heyman. The box popped open and out came Brother Love, who jumped out and hugged Undertaker after letting out an "I love you." Love asked 'Taker who brought him to WWE. Before 'Taker could talk Love pulled the mic away and said it was him. 'Taker finally had enough and grabbed his arm and gave him a choke slam. 'Taker then nailed him with the Tombstone.

3rd Quarter Hour

Hogan is shown walking backstage when he came across Brock Lesnar. Lesnar said, "Welcome back," and Hogan just walked off as Brock grinned.

Commercial: White girl gets dissed.

(3) Billy Kidman defeated Matt Hardy.
This is non-title since Hardy doesn't consider himself a cruiserweight. Shannon got used as a distraction to set Kidman up for the "side effect." Back elbow by Hardy and a leg drop score a two count on Kidman. Kidman used some boots to come back and set up a leg scissors take-over. Hardy got back on his feet and locked on a sleeper, but Kidman pushed him off against the ropes and nailed a dropkick. Elbow and clothesline by Kidman set him up for a Kidman bomb. Hardy finally got some momentum by dropping Kidman on his head on the turnbuckle and nailing the "ricochet," a combination sideslam and elbow. Kidman came back and set up for the SSP, but Hardy managed to block him. Kidman knocked Hardy down off the ropes, but missed a double axe handle. Kidman then caught Hardy with a small-package for the three count. Shannon raised his arms, wanting to know what happened as Hardy started in shock. Hardy then told Cole and Tazz that he was going to drop ten pounds and get down from 230 to 220 and take Kidman's title. Cole offered him some Stacker 2.

Angle gave his troops a speech, asking them to "soar like Eagles" but not like that disgrace, the Philadelphia Eagles.

(4) Team Angle defeated The Guerreros to win the Tag Titles.
Heyman came to the ring with Team Angle, but Kurt stayed in the back. Chavo and Benjamin started things off. Chavo managed to get the advantage the first couple times with an arm drag and a waist lock take-down. Both times, Benjamin countered out. Eddie then tagged in and locked up. Hammerlock into a snap-mare by Eddie, but Benjamin is back on his feet before Eddie can do any damage. Benjamin managed to get Eddie into the heel corner to tag Haas, but Eddie managed to back out before they could attack. Takedown on Charlie into a headlock and a tag to Chavo, which resulted into snap-mare/dropkick double team. Back suplex by Chavo quickly followed up with Eddie's slingshot-senton for a two count. Charlie back up and he managed to get Eddie into the heel corner to Benjamin. Eddie back with an arm drag and a quick tag to Chavo, who worked over Benjamin with a hip toss and a clothesline. Stomps in the corner draws the ire of the ref, allowing Eddie to CHEAT2WIN with the tag rope. Chavo followed with a solid European uppercut before tagging back to Eddie. Eddie then pummeled Benjamin in the corner before the ref backed him off. Chavo walked over and gave him a stomp to the head for good measure. This is beautiful stuff. More choking in the corner by Chavo as Eddie distracted the ref. Eddie and Chavo then made a wish with Benjamin around the ring post as Charlie argued with the ref. More double teaming in the corner by the Guerreros, who are just taking Team Angle apart, with some stomps from both guys. Eddie with a side headlock, but Benjamin fired back with a back suplex. Benjamin finally made the tag and Charlie worked Eddie over in the corner. Chavo came over to break it up and all four men are in. Double corner collision with Haas and Eddie. Eddie then knocked Chavo off the apron incidentally when he dropkicked Benjamin and the ref into him, sending Chavo, who took a header into the table. Team Angle double teamed Eddie as the ref went outside to check Chavo. Back from the break, and Chavo is getting worked on by Shelton Benjamin. Haas in the ring as Eddie rushed over to break up Team Angle's double team. Leap frog guillotine double team from Team Angle on Chavo as Eddie argued with the ref. Team Angle tried to go to the well one more time as Heyman yelled "No,", and Eddie tripped up Benjamin. Double standing slam is countered by Chavo into double DDTs. Chavo finally made the tag and Eddie worked both guys over, sending Benjamin out and giving Haas a back drop. Rolling suplexes by Eddie for a two count. Chavo finally made it back to his feet to run interference on Benjamin. Double team by the Guerrero's as Eddie superplexed Haas and Chavo gave him the Frog Splash, but Benjamin ran in and broke it up. They then went for it again, this time with Eddie going into the adjacent corner for the Frog Splash and Chavo going for a Tornado DDT, but Eddie got tossed. Chavo then landed a plancha on Benjamin on the outside. Charlie took it to Eddie with an overhead belly-to-belly. and a two count. Chavo tried to get in, but the ref blocked him. Double leap frog guillotine, again, this time into a Charlie Haas German suplex, but Chavo broke up the count. Powerbomb out of the corner on Benjamin by Eddie. Eddie then went for the Frog Splash, but Heyman grabbed his leg. Chavo then nailed Heyman with a slingshot plancha, allowing Eddie to hit Benjamin with a Frog Splash, but Chioda refused to make the count because Benjamin wasn't legal. This allowed Haas to grab Eddie and roll him up into a cradle for a quick three count and the upset. Haas jumped with elation as Eddie sat on the mat in despair. THIS is how you make your titles mean something, my friends. Great match.

Hogan came to the ring and was cut off by the Rock via satellite. Rock said Hogan looked good in a mocking fashion. Rock then told him to talk when he pointed at him. Rock then cut him off and asked him to fast forward. Rock then did the finger point again, telling Hogan to talk. Interesting way to play along with the tape. Rock then interrupted again, saying his tofu was ready and told Hogan not to "bore his people." Rock called him "kid" and told him to remind him to whip his ass that Sunday at No Way Out, because he has a lot going on that day. Hogan took a shot at Rock for the way the fans booed him at the Raw X special. Hogan then went after Vince and said he was scared to get in the ring with him. He then said Vince was full of shit (bleep). Hogan said it is fine he brought the Rock out after him, because this is going to be the rematch of all rematches. Hogan said the Hulkamaniacs were going to boo Rock out of the building at No Way Out.

Backstage, Spanky Michaels is talking to Sean O'Haire. Sean gave him credit for having guts with the bell-hop thing last week. Sean asked him if he was wearing Nike Shocks, Brian said yes, then asked if he wanted him to streak. Oh, boy.

(5) Albert defeated Shannon Moore.
Back from the break, and Spanky is running around wearing a scarf and with his mid-section blurred as security gives chase before Albert and Moore can get started. Albert took Moore down with a boot then just pummeled him on the mat. Over the shoulder back breaker scored the quick three count in about a 45 second match. After the match, Kendrich is still streaking around through the crowd. Brian then danced with the ring post and managed to dodge an A-Train clothesline. The officials had him cornered after he crawled under the ring, but he did a baseball slide under one of them and took off towards the back. And he's off, like an Albert with gas.......

Steph is asking someone if Bischoff signed Austin when Spanky ran in on her. Steph stared in shock. Spanky said he was excited to meet him. Security then pulled him out of the room as Steph said "I can see that." Alrighty....

Cena came to the ring and did a rap that called out Lesnar challenging Brock next week. "Want the next big thing? Let me take my pants off!"

Chris Benoit did a sit down interview talking about Angle beating him to retain the title and the standing ovation in Boston. He talked about hoping his family watching and how his wife and kid ran up and hugged him when he got home and told him proud they were of him. Angle then interrupted by glaring at Benoit. Angle said he wanted to talk about his wife, he would introduce him to his wife, the title. Benoit said he was going to take his family from him. Oh, man. That was the best segment WWE has aired in years.

(6)Kurt Angle defeated Chris Benoit to retain the WWE title.
I missed the start because of some cable issue and come back with Heyman arguing with the ref and Angle beating Benoit on the outside. Snap-mare into a body scissors/chin lock combo on Benoit. Benoit worked his way back to his feet as Cole said Benoit actually held the most victories in this series. Benoit tried going off the ropes but a knee to the gut. Angle is working hard on Benoit's midsection, ramming him with shoulders in the corner. Angle then used a back suplex to get a two count. Benoit had enough and chopped his way back and nailed Angle with a short-arm clothesline and a body drop. Waist lock by Benoit countered into the ankle lock, but Benoit rolled Angle and grabbed a leg for a two count. Benoit then applied the CCF. Angle rolled through and went for the Angle slam, but Benoit rolled through it into a cradle for a two count. Benoit up and went to the rolling Germans, but Benoit only landed one before Angle countered into the Angle Slam, which Benoit countered to the CCF. Benoit then had to break the CCF as Benoit managed to lock on the Ankle lock out of the hold, but Benoit rolled through and went back to the CCF. Angle then worked his way over to the ropes to break up the hold. Benoit dragged Angle to the middle of the ring by his legs, but got kicked off. Benoit went up top for the head butt, but Benoit hesitated. Angle tried to run up for the belly-to-belly, but Benoit pushed him off. Benoit then went back after him, but Angle power bombed him on the turnbuckle. OUCH. Benoit quickly fired back with a release German suplex, leaving both men out as the ref administered the ten count. Benoit got up first and rolled Angle over and got a near three count. Benoit is bleeding like crazy. Benoit gave the throat-slash and nailed a German suplex and went up top for the head butt, but missed. This match is like Gatti/Ward, a battle of attrition. Angle made an attempt at a pin but only got a two count. Angle then connected with the Angle slam for the three count. After the match, Angle offered to shake Angle's hand and raised it. Benoit hesitated, which was the smart thing to do as Haas and Benjamin ran in and jumped Benoit until Edge made the save. Edge got beat down as a result. Lesnar then ran in and hit the F 5 on Benjamin and Haas. Angle then ran up the ramp for his life with Heyman.

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