Submitted by Sawan on July 05, 2003 at 06:55:13

New York City… let’s go!

We start off with a recap of the events that have chronicled the McMahon vs. Gowen feud culminating in last week’s angle where Sable and Vince played a prank on Zack. Stephanie didn’t like that… I love it when she gets angry.

Michael Cole and Tazz introduce themselves and announce tonight’s main event: a six-man tag match with Lesnar/America/Angle vs. Show/Haas/Benjamin.

Cena’s music hits, and John makes his way down to the ramp in a Boston Celtics uniform. He cuts a freestyle saying he’s going to main event WM20. He says that over the course of only one year, he’s become the most respected Smackdown veteran. He mentions that he got his break by accepting an open challenge from Kurt Angle. He says he’s going commemorate that event by offering his own open challenge to any rookie in the back.

Out comes… Orlando Jordan. Before Orlando comes in the ring the camera focuses on Billy Kidman (with his new short haircut) hanging at ringside with a couple of ladies who aren’t Torrie Wilson.

Cena cuts on Jordan and New York City, when Orlando surprises Cena with a hard clothesline. The bell rings…

Match #1: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
Jordan lands left hands and then hits a back body drop on Cena. Jordan then hits Cena with several lariats before delivering a cross body block off the ropes. Jordan tosses John into the ropes, but runs into a high boot from Cena. Cena rushes Jordan, but Jordan turns the attack into a scoop powerslam of his own for the 2 count. It’s all Jordan thus far… Cena tries to set Jordan up for a move, but Jordan reverses it into an enzugiri. Jordan goes for a headlock, but Cena hits some back elbows to stop the move before landing a spinebuster of his own. Cena picks up Jordan and goes for the “F.U.”, but Jordan manages to land on his feet and nails a standing drop kick knocking Cena out of the ring, followed by a baseball slide under the bottom rope Jordan throws Cena back in to the ring and climbs to the top rope. Cena lands a punch and the two brawl before Jordan pushes Cena to the canvas and then lands a high flying cross body. Cena rolls through, grabs the tights, and pins Jordan for the 1-2-3.
Result: Cena d. Jordan via pinfall

After the match, Cena refuses to accept the refs hand and hits an “F.U.” on Jordan. Cena continues the beat down when all of a sudden, the Undertaker’s music hits and Big Evil rolls down the ramp on his Harley.
Taker climbs into the ring… Cena climbs right out and retreats up the ramp. Take hovers over the prone Jordan, who looks surprise to see the Dead Man when he finally comes to. Taker backs him into the corner, but then gives the rookie a show of respect before playing to the crowd.

[commercial]

Taker is still in the ring when the APA comes out! “No Sleep Till Brook…” erm… the FBI’s music hits and we’ve got our second match. Ring the Bell…

Match #2: Undertaker and The APA vs. The FBI
The match starts off with Taker and the cigar-chomping Palumbo dancing around the ring until they lock up in the center of the ring. Chuck puts a headlock on the big man, and then hits a big shoulder block on Taker. Palumbo goes for another one, but Taker moves out of the way and scores a drop toe hold, bring Smoky down to the mat. Taker puts Palumbo in a wrist lock, but Chuck fights his way out with a few elbows. Taker throws Chuck into the ropes to set up a back body drop, but Chuckie puts on the brakes and lands a kick to the midsection. Chuck ducks under a Taker clothesline and lands a right of his own. Palumbo then misses a clothesline himself, and Taker comes off the ropes and falls into Chuck, taking the Italian down. Taker puts on another wrist lock, and then walks the ropes “old school” before coming off the ropes with a flying clothesline. Johnny Stamboli comes in, but Taker clears him out in short order. Nunzio tries to sneak in, but hops right back out as soon as the Dead Man gets the little guy in his sights. Palumbo takes advantage of the distractions and lands a few punches and kicks in the corner. The FBI members beat on Taker from the outside, and Chuck tags Stamboli into the ring. The Bull lands a few big rights to Taker’s face, and runs the ropes to set up a big clothesline. Taker intercepts Johnny, and nails a swinging DDT in the middle of the ring. Nunzio comes off the top and lands a solid kick to the Undertake before rolling back out of the ring. Taker recovers before The Bull, drags Johnny over to his corner and tags in Ron Simmons. Simmons works over Stamboli in the corner and covers him up for a 2 count… Stamboli gets up and rakes Simmons’ eyes. Johnny runs the ropes, only to run right into a spinebuster delivered by The Artist Formerly Known as Faarooq. Simmons stands above The Bull, when Palumbo comes in a nails Simmons from behind. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… Palumbo drags the limp Simmons back to the FBI’s corner, and leaves him there for Stamboli while the ref chases America’s Newest Blonde Bombshell Bradshaw out of the ring. Stambolis stomps on Simmons before tagging in Palumbo. Stamboli and Smoky put Simmons (alliteration, anyone?) in a double hip lock, and then nail a double-team slam on the veteran. Palumbo covers for the pin, but Taker comes in to break up the count. Palumbo delivers a right to Taker, and then drags Simmons back over the FBI’s corner where he and Stamboli work over Simmons. Chuck tags in Nunzio who does the Ali Shuffle before delivering some right hands to Ron’s head. Simmons blocks a punch, but Palumbo comes in from behind and knocks Simmons back to the ground. Nunzio tags back in Chuck, who immediately puts Simmons in a modified Camel Clutch. The crowd starts the hot tag clap, but Palumbo gives ‘em the ol’ “Broad Street Salute” and tells them to shut up before putting Simmons back into the Camel Clutch. Chuck tries to deliver another blow to the prone Simmons, but Ron turns around and connect a knee to Palumbo’s naughty bits that slows the ex-Mr. Gunn down. Simmons manages to crawl over and tag Bradshaw, while Chuck tags in Stamboli. Bradshaw comes in like a house of fire, and lands all the “Contractually Obligated Hot Tag Manuevers®” including a shoulder block and a big boot to The Bull’s face. He continues the onslaught by kicking Palumbo in the face, before turning around and throwing Stamboli out of the ring, Texas style… Bradshaw sprints across the ring to land a running clothesline and a high knee on Palumbo in the corner. The Blonde Bomber continues working over Smoky in the corner, while the Dead Man tosses Stamboli back in the ring. Bradshaw switches corners, and delivers a hard clothesline to Stamboli before hitting “The Last Call” – which is just pretty much a fallaway slam. Nunzio tries to interfere by coming off the top rope, but the ex-footballer from Texas makes the catch and sets up for another Last Call. Unfortunately for Bradshaw, Palumbo comes in and breaks it up with a superkick. Unfortunately for Palumbo, Taker hits the ring and delivers a big chokeslam. Unfortunately for Mr. Calloway, Johnny “Da Bull” knocks him out of the ring with a clothesline over the top rope. Unfortunately for Stamboli, Bradshaw bounds off the ropes and hits Stamboli with a Clothesline From Hell for the 1-2-3 and the win. Decent match… Bradshaw looked especially good in there.
Result: APA/Taker d. FBI via pinfall

We see an Ultimo Dragon promo, before we go to…

[commercial – Ren and Stimpy is back!!!]

Outside of MSG, Jamie Noble and Nidia signing autographs for a person who was only trying to get directions to the subway. Noble tells the tourist to go find a taxi. A guy in a suit, who is a lawyer (he’s got a suit, you know…), tells the ex-Cruiserweight champion that he’s just inherited $827,000 from an “Aunt Lucille.” Noble almost hyperventilates, and tells NIdia to give the lawyer “one of those special kisses”. Nidia goes to unzip the lawyer’s pants, when Noble clarifies that that’s not quite what he meant. Noble says that they’re going to celebrate their windfall by going to… Applebee’s.

Oh, did you know that Wrestlemania XX is in New York?

Backstage, in Big Steph’s office, Sable is seductively looking over some paperwork and lusciously fawns over a day-timer. Big Vinnie comes in, and Sable offers an apology for last week, and then tells Mac that she finds him VERY attractive and that she can’t keep her hands off of him. Wonder who wrote this promo… Sable tries to seduce Vinnie “How Much For The Daughter” McMahon, but Vince says “not tonight.” He’s got something important to do. Like go to a…

[commercial]

Ooh yeeeaaaahhhhhh! Here comes Version 1. Matt fact: Matt has better abs than Rikishi.
Match #3: Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi in a U.S. Title Tournament Match
Rikishi and Hardy stare each other down in the ring, as Michael Cole tells us that Chris Benoit and Rhyno are going to be on Velocity instead of tonight’s show. Rikishi hits a DDT right off the bat for a 2 count. Kish hits a big clothesline on Hardy in the corner, but Hardy smartly rolls out before the big Samoan can deliver the Stinkface. Rikishi follows Matt to the outside, but Hardy rams Rikishi into the steel ring post, before somehow shoving the big guy back in the ring for a 2 count. Hardy locks in a submission hold, but Rikishi fights his way back up nails Hardy with a clothesline. Rikishi then sets up for a belly to belly suplex, but Hardy head butts his way out. Hardy goes for a running clothesline, but Mr. Booty grabs Version 1 and hits a side suplex. Rikishi lands a few rights. Hardy goes for a twist of fate, but Rikishi counters it and throws Hardy in to the ropes. Kish picks Hardy up and hits a WICKED (and I mean WICKED) looking sitout piledriver. (that’s right… I said piledriver). Rikishi rolls on top of Hardy for a near fall… Rikishi gets up and drags the “lifeless carcass” of Matt Hardy into the corner, and climbs to the top rope to deliver the Rumpshaker. Hardy counters the move with a knee to the groin, and than hits a Twist of Fate for the 1-2-kick out! Hardy gets fired up, and goes to the corner to expose a turnbuckle. I yell at the TV for Matt to realize that he’s probably going to be the one to run into the exposed steel – but he doesn’t hear me. Hardy and Rikishi trade blows before Kish lands a high kick to Hardy’s head. Rikishi goes to “back that *ss up*, but Matt Hardy gets out of the way leaving Rikishi to ram his back into the exposed steel turnbuckle (guess I was wrong…). Hardy hits another Twist of Fate for the 1-2-3.
Result: Hardy d. Rikishi via pinfall to advance in the U.S. Title tournament.

[commercial]

There’s Billy Kidman again. Josh interviews him, and Billy whines about how hard it is to sit at home while his friends get to play in the ring. Kidman says he should be the Cruiserweight champion, and that he can’t wait to get back. After this interview, I can’t wait for him to get back in the ring and away from a microphone either.

The bagpipes come through the speaker, and out comes a smiling Roddy Piper (back in the Garden) and his main man Sean O’Haire.
“Viva la rasa.” Suene la camana…
Match #3: Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri (C) vs. Sean O’Hare and Roddy Piper for the Tag Team Championship.
O’Haire hits Guerrero trade punches in the corner, and than Latino Heat hits a quick back elbow to the big man and then nails a hilo from outside the ring. Eddie lands a couple of rights, and tags in Tajiri. The Buzzsaw hits a few chops followed by a springboard back elbow, lightly sautéed with a martial arts kick, and lovingly smothered in a near fall. The two trade moves before Tajiri locks the big man into the Taratula, which Piper breaks up with a few kicks to the head. O’Haire delivers some hard knees to Tajiri before picking up Yoshi and tossing him across the ring. Tajiri recovers with a martial arts kick, but O’Haire shows his martial arts background with a kick of his own. O’Haire tags in Roddy “Whiter than a milk bottle in the snow” Piper, who picks up Tie-jeerie by the hair and lands a chop for a 2 count. Piper slaps around Tajiri, and then O’Haire relieves Roddy of duty and nails Tajiri with a kick to the back. Sean locks Tajiri in a rear naked choke hold, but Tajiri fights his way out. O’Haire hits a knee to the face and goes for a running powerbomb, which Tajiri nicely reverses into an inverted bulldog (thanks, Tazz). As both men struggle to get up, I take the opportunity to tell my spell checker that “Tajiri” and “Buzzsaw” should now be part of the standard dictionary. Both men tag in their partners, and Piper and Guerrero exchange right hands. Eddie gets the upper hand, but runs right into an O’Haire boot. O”Haire picks Eddie up for a powerbomb, but Eddie counters with a drop kick. Piper takes advantage of the distraction to land a right to Guerrero, which Eddie sells as if he’d been hit by a Mack Truck on Jupiter filled with lead weights. Piper strolls over to the side of the ring to admire his handiwork, but Tajiri sprays the old man with the Green Mist and bounces Roddy’s head off of the top rope, leaving him prone in the middle. Really a perfect opportunity for a… Frogsplash off of the top rope by Guerrero, and the 1-2-3. Felix and Oscar retain the titles.
Result: Guerrero/Tajiri d. Piper/O’Haire to retain the Tag Team Titles

I Tivo past a bunch of stuff regarding the buildup to tonight’s main event, but stop to see VinnieMac strutting his way down the ring. Vince grabs the mic, and I have a feeling it’s time for a long drawn out promo. McMahon invites Zach Gowen and Steph out to the ring. They comply, and I’m left to ponder how the heck that girl can possibly stand up without falling forward on to her face. Vince says that Stephanie’s comments from last week hurt him, and that she’s always been the “apple of his eye” and “Daddy’s little girl.” The crowd says “what” (they’re certainly innovative in the Big Apple), and Vince tries to shut them up. Vince goes on and on about how cute Steph was, and how he asks Steph to close certain business deals for him when she was 17, which should give us Internet fans something to moan about all week. At this point, I also realize that I should’ve been a contractor in Stamford when Miss Mac was a teenager… Anyhoo… Vince says that he know realizes that he stole his little girl’s innocence. He then says that it’s almost as if he personally deflowered her (ooh… the ‘Net will be buzzing with ethics and moral experts tomorrow) – although he does make it clear that he doesn’t mean that in a literal sense. Vince says that he’ll never forgive himself for that. Steph looks disgusted at her father, and he turns his attention to Zach. Vince says he’s realized that he wants to be Zach Gowen. He says that although he’s a freakin’ billionaire and has accomplished nearly everything. But Zach has done something he’s never done – he’s looked death in the eye and spit in Her face. Vince reiterates that he wants to be Zach Gowen. Vince asks Zach to accept his apology and allow him to “wipe the slate clean.” Zach considers Vince’s offer, and replies “No”. Vince is stunned that Gowen refused his apology, and then demands that his apology be accepted. Zach says “No” again. Gowen calls the Big Guy a son-of-a-b*tch, and goes on to cut a promo that everyone in the locker room should’ve watched for pointers. Gowen says he’s sick of the way he’s been treated, and he’s not going to let it happen any more. Steph looks on like a proud mommy. Zach continues saying that while he won’t accept Vince’s apology, he would accept a WWE wrestling contract. Vince says “you’ve got it… but under one condition – Zach has to join the “Kiss My Ass” club. Vinnie drops trow, and puts his rear end over big before Zach wonders what to do. Steph whispers something in Gowen’s ear. Zach kneels behind Mr. McMahon, low blows Vince and throws his cane at him. Steph smirks at Daddy Dearest, Zach retreats up the ring, and the production editors completely remove any evidence of Vince nailing a spectator with Zach’s cane – which is what actually happened at the Garden.

[commercial – The Mullets]

Who’s that jumping out they sky? R-E-Y! He’s out to assume the color position for the upcoming Ultimo Dragon match against Shannon Moore, who is already in the ring waiting to be beaten by the newcomer.
Dragon’s entrance video hits, and the masked man comes out to a blaze of pyro and some cheesy in-house Japanese-style heavy metal music. Mysterio is intently scouting Dragon’s pyro for future consideration. Dragon’s entrance also contains a…

[commercial]

Hey, there’s Billy Kidman again…
????????
Match #4: Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore
Dragon and Moore waste no time trading quick moves. The two circle one another, followed by Moore applying a wrist lock on the Dragon. Ultimo somersaults through the hold, and then reverses into a wrist lock of his own which Shannon kips-up out of. The two continue trading moves, and Dragon corners Shannon. Moore lands a kick to the midsection, but Dragon counters the subsequent over-the-shoulder head toss (a little help, Tazz?). Dragon runs the ropes but misses a clothesline, and winds up have to battle out of a Moore hold with several rear elbows to the face of the M.F.’er. Dragon hits a handspring back elbow which knocks Moore out of the ring. Dragon feigns following that up with a plancha, instead pulling out of the move by moonsaulting back towards the middle of the ring. Moore gets back in and hits a clothesline followed by a drop toe hold and a 2 count. Moore hits a side suplex for another 2 count, and then applies a choke submission hold on Ultimo. Dragon tries to fight out, but Moore nails another clothesline. Moore goes for another suplex, but Dragon reverses it with a leapfrog huricanrana. Dragon blocks a charging Moore with a boot, and then follows up with a spinning heel kick. Shannon tries for a neckbreaker, but Ultimo counters it with a nice back sweep takedown. Dragon lands some martial arts style kicks for a 2 count. Dragon continues on the offense, and manages to get Moore out of the ring where Dragon hits the move named after him – the Asai moonsault. There’s Billy Kidman. Dragon throws Moore in the ring for the near fall. Dragon lands some chops and kicks, but Moore lands an elbow and climbs to the top rope to try and unmask the Dragon. Dragon turns around and lands some knife-edge chops before landing a chinbuster off the second rope. Dragon lands several knees to the sternum of Moore. Moore goes for a back drop, but Ultimo reverses it into an indescribable move that looks like a mix between a neck breaker and a leg drop. Dragon scores the 1-2-3. Sloppy debut from Dragon, but solid work by Moore.
There’s Billy Kidman.
Result: Ultimo Dragon d. Shannon Moore via pinfall.
Mysterio and Dragon shake hands in the ring, while Kidman half-heartedly claps for the two masked men. Looks like Kidman’s coming back as a heel.

[commercial]

Angle comes out to his music. Lesnar comes out to his music. Here comes Mr. America. Look… there’s Team Angle. Oh hey… it’s the Big Show. And look – here comes another

[commercial]

All six participants get ready in the ring. Hogan – erm… America shoves Haas. The crowd chants “Hogan”, but Tazz points out that Hogan is not in attendance. The crowd chants “U.S.A.,” but Tazz smartly points out that everyone in the ring is an American. I think Tazz’s IQ might have just reached the limit of what is acceptable for a WWE announcer.
Ring the bell one more time, Mr. Timekeeper.
Match #5: Kurt Angle/Brock Lesnar/Mr. America vs. Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin/Big Show
Angle and Haas lock up in the center of the ring. Angle bulls Haas into the corner, and then breaks the hold when the ref tells him to. The two lock back up, and Angle applies a rear chin lock to the former tag team champion. Haas fights out, but Angle executes a hammerlock takedown into a headlock. Haas battles out again, but runs into shoulder block followed by a hip toss from the Olympic hero. Angle than hits Haas with an arm drag, followed by another arm drag to Benjamin before Haas knocks Angle into the corner with a club to the back. Haas works over Angle in the corner, but Angle reverses an Irish whip into a back body drop. Angle bulls Haas into the corner, where Haas tags in his partner Shelton Benjamin. Team Ex-Angle throws Angle into the ropes and then nail him on the return trip with a double drop kick. Benjamin picks up his former captain and lands a few right hands. Angle reverses an Irish Whip and nails a back elbow to Shelton’s face. Angle lands a few hard rights, but Benjamin fights out with an eye rake. The two run the ropes until Kurt hits Benji with a cross body block, and pulls him into the corner where he tags in Hul… I mean Mr. America. America lands a right hand followed by a poke to the eye (!). America than runs over to the enemy corner and punches out both Big Show (who I think was flagging down a hot dog vendor) and Charlie Haas. Mr. America then forgets he’s not in the nWo any longer and applies an eye rake (!!) to Benjamin, followed by a rear elbow for the 2 count. America hits Benjamin with a flurry of rights to the top of the head, and then applies an illegal choke hold on the rookie before tagging in Lesnar. The two babyfaces hit a double clothesline on Shelton, who looks like he could use a V-8 at this point. Lesnar pulls his former roommate up and delivers some hard shoulder blocks in the corner. Benjamin manages to counter out of a couple of moves, but Lesnar eventually lands a nasty looking clothesline for the 2 count. Shelton lands some punches and kicks before tagging in Haas. Haas goes to work on Brock, but Brock picks Haas up into a military press and slams him to the mat. Lesnar backs into the corner where America tags in. America delivers some kicks and punches to Haas, followed by a clothesline in the corner. America suplexes Haas for a near fall. America applies a wrist lock followed by an elbow before tagging back in Brock Lesnar. Lesnar continues beating on Haas, and delivers more shoulder blocks and a vertical suplex. Brock taunts Big Show, and Big Show responds by queuing up a

[commercial]

Back in the ring, Lesnar delivers a spinebuster to Haas and then throws Benjamin out of the ring. Lesnar picks up Haas for the F-5, but Benjamin comes in for the save. Haas gets up and tags back in Benjamin. Haas holds up Brock against the ropes, while Benjamin leapfrogs over his partner into Lesnar’s back. Benjamin tags in Big Show. Show picks up Lesnar for a body slam. Show nails Lesnar with a head butt. Show lands a knife-edge chop. Show thinks about a nice thick juicy Porterhouse. Show stomps on Lesnar’s neck. Show goes for some more chest slaps, but Brock reverses Show into the corner and delivers yet another round of shoulder blocks. Lesnar lands a kick to the midsection and goes for the F-5, but Show counters it with a club to the back which knocks down the champion. Show misses a clothesline, and Lesnar counters that with an impressive back suplex. The two men lie stunned on the mat before beginning their slow crawl to their respsective corners. Haas and Angle get tagged in, and Angle lands all the “Contractually Obligated Hot Tag Manuevers®” include the clothesline and the lariat. Angle runs the ropes and hits a flying cross body on Haas. Benjamin comes in the ring, only to be greeted by a not-so-friendly release German suplex. Haas tries to sneak up on the Olympic Hero, but Angle hits yet another release German on him. Benjamin comes charging at Angle, but Angle spins around and hits a belly to belly. Haas finally slows things down with a boot to the midsection, but Angle replies with a drop toe hold into an Ankle Lock. Big Show breaks it up with a boot to the back of the neck, and Lesnar charges in and knocks Show out of the ring with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Haas and Benjamin double team the helpless Angle. Benjamin sets up for a superkick, but he nails Haas on accident. Angle hits a Russian leg sweep on Shelton Man… that Angle guy can really rassle! America and Big Show get tagged in, and America starts “hulking up”. He nails Show with a number of rights around the ring, and then hits a big clothesline in the corner. America goes for the big boot on Show, but Show holds on to the ropes, while Haas and Benjamin double team the Hulks… erm... Mr. America. Lesnar and Angle decide that turnabout is fair play, and drag Big Show to the outside to do some double-teaming of their own. After dispatching the giant, Lesnar and Angle run in and attack Haas and Benjamin. The referee is apparently on some sort of pain medication at this point. Brock hits the F-5 on Benjamin. Angle hits the Angle Slam on Haas. Hey… where did Billy Kidman go? Show gets back in the ring, and hits a double chokeslam on Lesnar and Angle. While Show gloats over his victims, Mr. America comes in the ring and starts “hulking up”. He does the point thing, and then that punch thingy followed by the leg drop thing followed by the… Whoa… that’s Vince McMahon shouting his way down the ring holding a helpless Zach Gowen under his arm. Mr. America turns his attention to McMahon, and Vince throws Gowen to the ground, and starts kicking him in the stomach as he continues shouting at Mr. America. Big Show takes advantage of the distraction and clubs America in the back. Show continues the assault, and chokeslams Mr. America for the 1-2-3.
Result: Show/Haas/Benjamin d. America/Angle/Lesnar via pinfall.

McMahon says “cut the music” and continues assault Gowen on the ramp. Vince says that while Zach wants to be a wrestler, it seems to him that he can’t quite cut the mustard. Steph comes out, and puts her body between her dad and Zach. She begs Vince to stop. Vince then decided that he is going to put Zach in a wrestling match. And his partner is going to be Stephanie McMahon. And they are going to face… The Big Show. If they win the match, Gowen gets a contract. So that’s why Big Steph’s been working out! The Big Show looks menacingly at Steph, and we fade to black.

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