TNA Impact Report
Taped in Orlando, Florida
August 20th, 2004
Reported by: The Worm, rajah.com Impact! reporter
Did you guys miss me? Ever since I started working third shift at my job, I've come to realize that I wouldn't always be available to do the WWE reports. Then I realized that Impact comes on every Friday at 3 PM, so if even if I had to work that day, I'd always be available to do the Impact reports. I have tried doing Impact reports before, but I wasn't prepared for the fast-paced action that each match had to offer. However, after giving it some time, I've decided to take another crack at it.
Match #1 (Singles) - "Irish" Pat Kenney vs. "The King of the Mountain" Jeff Jarrett:
They lock up and Kenney latches on a side headlock. Jarrett whips Kenney, who takes him down with a shoulder block. Kenney tells Jarrett to bring it on. They lock it up and the same thing ensues. Jarrett whips Kenney again, but this time Jarrett goes for a hip toss, in which Kenney reverses it into one of his own.
Kenney hits an atomic drop and rolls Jarrett into a schoolboy, but Jarrett kicks out. Kenney tries to get him into a small package, but once again Jarrett kicks out. The end comes when Kenney misses a superkick, allowing Jarrett to finish Kenney off with The Stroke.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Post-match, Jarrett takes the stick and taunts Jeff Hardy. The Swanton is no match for the Stroke, and the "Charismatic Enigma" is no match for "The King of the Mountain". Jarrett proceeds to squawk with the announcers about how his title match with Jeff Hardy on September 4th will be Jarrett's biggest match in TNA history. This allows Kenney to recover and ambush him from behind. They take it back into the ring, where Jarrett proceeds to take his guitar and bash it over Kenney's head as we go to commercial.
Match #2 (Tag) - Mikey Batts & "Mr. 630" Jerelle Clark vs. Kid Kash & Dallas:
It'll be Kid Kash and Mikey Batts starting things off. Kash points at Batts, and he slaps his hand away. They lock up and Kash is in control as he takes Batts down with some amateur mat wrestling. A shoving and slap fight ensues and then Batts proceeds to take it to Kash with a flying heel kick. Clark is tagged in and they whip Kash, who baseball slides over to the other side and tags in Dallas.
Clark & Batts try to double team Dallas, but to no avail. Clark doesn't seem to do much to Dallas, so he opts to tag in Batts instead. Dallas tags in Kash. Batts tries twice to roll up Kash, but Kash kicked out each time. Kash continues to play to the crowd, but after that he picks up Batts and chops him into the corner. Kash is whipped to the opposite corner, but he jumps up onto the second rope and kicks Batts.
The partners are eventually tagged in. Clark tries to take down Dallas, but Dallas clubs him down on his back and finishes him off with a reverse spinning slam (Think of the Gunn Stinger, but instead Clark comes down flat on his stomach).
Winner: Dallas & Kid Kash
Post-match, Kash adds insult to injury by delivering his Money Maker piledriver to "Mr. 630" Jerelle Clark as we go to another commercial.
Match #3 (Singles, Non-Title) - Eddie Villa vs. Petey Williams:
Williams attacks Villa from behind as the bell rings and then stomps a mudhole intot him. He whips Villa and hits a back elbow. He then follows it up with a vertical and a back suplex. He then connects with a Goldust-like Curtain Call followed by a dropkick. He rams Villa's head into the turnbuckle and whips him into the opposite corner. Villa proceeds to fight back, but then both men clothesline each other.
Villa connects with a spinning crescent kick, but as he charges towards Williams, Williams lifts him up and over, but Villa lands on the apron. Villa flips over Williams and takes him down. Williams kicks out of the pin and the end comes when Williams "reels him in" and finishes him off with my favorite TNA finisher so far, The Canadian Destroyer flip piledriver.
Winner: Petey Williams
Post-match, Scott D'Amore comes out and being the gloryhound he is, he kicks Eddie Villa. This prompts Dusty Rhodes to come out and try to attack D'Amore. His efforts are thwarted by Bobby Rude, and with Petey Williams, they stretch him out so D'Amore can beat him down. Dusty Rhodes is saved by 3 Live Kru as we go to commercial.
Backstage, Shane Douglas is interviewing Vince Russo about how Dusty Rhodes keeps on getting involved with matches after he's been told not to. D'Amore shows up and orders Russo to make his announcement now and they proceed to get into an argument as we go back to the announcers.
Match #4 (Tag) "Baby Bear" Alex Shelley & Abyss (w/ Goldylocks) vs. America's Most Wanted:
Abyss and Storm kick things off for this match. They lock up and Abyss clubs Storm on his back and proceeds to club him into submission. Goldylocks orders him to tag in Shelley, and he does so. Storm clotheslines Shelley and then slams him, which prompts Shelley to cower into the corner and tag in Abyss. Harris is tagged in, and he 's doing a hell of a job taking it to Abyss. However, Abyss comes back as he lifts Harris into the air and slams him down.
Shelley is tagged back in and he connects with a neckbreaker. Shelley goes for a pin, but the Wildcat kicks out. Shelley lifts Harris up and drags him over to his corner to tag in Abyss. Abyss clubs on Harris' back and punches away at him. Abyss uses the ropes to choke Harris, but then Harris comes back with a flying clothesline to take the big man down. Harris tags in Storm and he cleans house. Storm tags Harris back in and they use a double flapjack on Abyss. They go for a pin, but Shelley breaks it up. Goldylocks proceeds to get involved and tells Abyss to attack, but he misses a Big Boot and accidentally hits Alex Shelley.
The end comes when Abyss is hit by a superkick and Shelley is speared for the win.
Winner: America's Most Wanted
Post-match, Goldylocks proceeds to shove Abyss around and he is getting pissed off. He tries to go after Goldylocks, but Shelley blocks his path. Shelley shoves Abyss, after which Abyss wants to chokeslam Shelley, but Goldylocks tells him to let go and Abyss reluctantly does so as we go to commercial.
A "Don't Try This At Home" commercial airs, in which AJ Styles explains that wrestling can be fun, but it is also dangerous without the proper training. If you wish to become a TNA wrestler, check out TNA Wrestling's website at http://www.tnawrestling.com
Match #5 (Singles) - Demetus Anglin vs. "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown:
Monty Brown quickly overpowers Anglin, and after chopping away at him, he whips him across the ring to connect with the Pounce. This match ended after about 45 seconds.
Winner: "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown
Commercial Break
Coming back to Impact, we are greeted by Jeff Hammond and Larry Zbyszko. Hammond interviews Zbyszko in his Six Points of Impact. They talk about the title match between Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett that will be happening on September 8th. They then talk about Harley Race and Terry Funk (Zbyszko says Funk is illegally insane), as well as Dusty Rhodes. It isn't too long before the conversation changes to Vince Russo and how he is a ticking time bomb.
The camera switches to the announcers where they recap the matches for this Wednesday's PPV. They're interrupted by D'Amore, who proceeds to call out 3LK and Dusty Rhodes. They come out and 3 Live Kru take it to Konnan and Bobby Rude. Dusty Rhodes and D'Amore are in the ring and Rhodes attacks D'Amore, but it is eventually broken up by referees.
Main Event (Six Man Tag) - Jason Cross, Kazarian & Michael Shane (w/ Traci) vs. "The Charismatic Enigma" Jeff Hardy, Ron "The Truth" Killings, & "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles:
Get ready for some fast-paced action as we go into our main event. It'll be so fast that I'll probably have a hard time keeping up.
It'll be Kazarian and The Truth starting this match. They lock up and Killings latches on a side headlock. Kazarian whips Killings, and latches on a side headlock of his own. Kazarian is whipped, but Kazarian takes down the Truth with a shoulder block. The Truth is on fire as he takes Kazarian down with an arm drag. The Truth proceeds to wrench Kazarian's arm as he tags in AJ Styles.
Kazarian tags in Michael Shane. Shane kicks Styles in the gut, but Styles wrenches Shane's arm. Shane locks in a headlock, but Styles whips him across the ring and hits a deep arm drag. More back and forth action by Styles and Shane as Styles keeps an armbar locked in and swings Shane around the ring.
Shane mounts some offense, but Styles comes back with a dropkick and Jeff Hardy is tagged in. Jeff connects with a jaw breaker followed by a double leg takedown into a double leg drop. The heels get involved, but Styles and The Truth get involved as well.
Hardy connects with the Poetry in Motion on Jason Cross, and he tags in Ron Killings. Shane distracts The Truth, which allows Kazarian to sneak up behind and kick The Truth. Jason Cross connects with a somersault leg drop and a Michinoku Driver. Jason Cross goes for the Crossfire, but The Truth gets out of the way. Jeff Hardy is tagged back in and he cleans house of his opponents. Jeff Hardy connects with the Twist of Fate on Jason Cross, but Shane breaks up the pinning attempt.
The end comes when AJ Styles connects with a somersault plancha on Kazarian and Shane, allowing Jeff Hardy to finish off Jason Cross with the Swanton Bomb.
Winner: Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, and Ron "The Truth" Killings
That's it for this week, so come back next week to feel more Impact!
Post-Show Comments:
- I can truly say that TNA has converted this WWE fan. While I still watch RAW and Smackdown, I find myself enjoying TNA more. In TNA, you don't have to worry about any hackneyed angles about necrophilia, only pure fast-paced wrestling.
- I don't know if it's just me or what, but it seems like the moves wrestlers have in their repertoire seem to flow more smoothly than those used in the WWE (I don't know how else to describe it). My favorite finisher in TNA so far is Petey Williams' "The Canadian Destroyer" flip piledriver. I've never seen anything like it before.
- I am sure glad Jeff Hardy has rediscovered his passion for wrestling, and on September 8th, I'm hoping that my all-time favorite wrestler will be able to pull off something that he has never accomplished while he was in the WWE, and that is to finally become a World Champion. Jeff has shown time and time again in the WWE that he deserved to be a WWE Champion, but for one reason or another, could never seem to get it done. Now that he is with TNA, I hope that they'll see what Jeff is truly capable of doing and allow him to win the title. I don't care if his reign is short-lived, I'll be ecstatic should he beat Jeff Jarrett. I'll be even more excited should he pull it off without any outside interference or cheap tricks.