Clips from last week are shown, including Orton's title defense and the Evolution consequently double-crossing him.
RAW opening hits and we're live from Anaheim, California! Tonight: What's next for World champion Randy Orton? Chris Jericho wrestles Edge for the Intercontinental title; and of course, the wedding from Hell where Kane and Lita become husband and wife.
Jonathan Coachman starts off RAW by introducing the remaining six contestants in the RAW Diva search. Coach announces that the next woman eliminated is Tracy and she will now have to not only leave the ring, but also the arena. Coach announces the next assignment for the ladies and it's something they've wanted to do from the very beginning. They will all have two minutes to tell Coach how great he really is. Coach then says two minutes isn't enough so let's make it five minutes. Right then, the Rock's music hit and out he comes.
The Rock promptly tells Coach that he has exactly five seconds to get out of the ring so Coach heeds the warning and bolts. The Rock then checks out the remaining divas and says he knows what they are thinking: "damn, look at the Rock...I am getting so wet...no, no, with perspiration." Rock then makes fun of Lilian Garcia, saying she used to work at the sperm bank and was fired for drinking on the job...but then he says he's just joking.
Rock asks the divas who Carmella is. She steps up and he shakes her hand. Rock says he heard in the back that the rest of the girls hate her and they tried to vote her off. Rock says she has something in common with him because when he started, the boys in the back wanted him gone too. Rock tells Carmella to stick to her guns and want to believe and he asks her if that's what she thinks. Before she can answer, Rock cuts her off and says "it doesn't matter...". Rock talks about when the divas made ice-cream but he doesn't want to see them eating ice-cream, he wants to see them eating pie. He asks someone in the back to bring out some pies and Tajiri brings them out.
Rock says all the divas have 20 seconds to eat the pie in whatever way they wish. There's lemon, apple, cherry and coconut pie. Rock then asks Tajiri what his favorite type of pie is. Tajiri tries to say poontang pie but says poontong instead. The first girl, haven't been following so I didn't catch her name, starts eating but then challenges Carmella to a match. Amy goes next and starts licking the pie to a big round of cheers. Carmella is next and takes a handful of pie and rubs it on herself while kinda shoving it in her mouth too. Maria is next; she puts some on her nose and tries to lick it off but it doesn't work that well so she just starts licking it. Christy says her butt is hungry and so she needs to feed it. She then proceeds to sit on the pie.
Jonathan Coachman comes back out along with La Resistance. He says that last time he embarassed these two so now the three of them will come down there now and give him a giant ass whooping. Coach, Sylvain Grenier and Rob Conway all start proceeding down to the ring so the Rock says he'll show everyone how he's going to handle this situation. He asks Tajiri to move the pies and then says in honor of his friend Tajiri, he'll speak Chinese (which makes no sense since Tajiri is Japanese). Anyway, Rock utters some gibberish but the three bad guys rush to the ring and assault him and Tajiri. The prompts Rhyno to come out and he ends up hitting the Gore on Grenier as Tajiri kicks Conway. The three of them corner Coach, who wants to go one-on-one with the Rock. Rock gives him a spinebuster and the People's Elbow to finish him off.
Up next, answers on Randy Orton's future.
Backstage, Kane enters the arena carrying his tuxedo.
Clips from last week showing the buildup to the Orton-Benoit rematch and Triple H stabbing Orton in the back.
Backstage, Triple H is shown pacing in his lockerroom. Batista and Ric Flair enter the picture and Triple H tells them that Randy Orton is no longer in charge of his destiny; they are.
Backstage, Lita is sitting in a room when Kane enters and starts smelling her hair. Kane says he knows it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding but he couldn't help it. But nothing can ruin their wedding. Kane says tonight is special and it will be an all-white affair to signify the pureness of their child. That's why he is going back on what he said and with that, he presents Lita with a white wedding dress (that's what he carried in, not his tuxedo...oops). After Kane leaves, Lita just stares at the dress.
Tonight, William Regal and Eugene team up to take on Batista and Ric Flair. And of course, Jericho faces Edge for the title next.
Chris Jericho vs. Edge (Intercontinental Title Match)
-Match is barely two minutes old when Jericho sends Edge to the outside by pulling down the ropes. Edge tries to get back in but Jericho refuses to comply and drop kicks him back to the outside as they break for commercial. Edge ends up winning the match by rolling Jericho up even though Jericho is able to put his legs on the ropes. When we come back, we're told the referee ends up seeing Jericho's foot on the ropes and the match will be restarted after a second commercial break. The finish sees Edge accidentally crotch Jericho on the top ropes but the ref decides it was on purpose and disqualifies him. Edge spears Jericho anyway and demands a count, but the ref rules that Jericho wins via DQ.
Backstage, Evolution is ready to come down to the ring apparently to give Randy Orton an ultimatum.
Triple H takes the mic and says that Randy Orton made a decision to not become a loser like his father and grand-father. Instead, he chose to stand by Evolution. Triple H says that all Orton had to do was soften up Benoit but instead he made the decision to take the world championship but Trips claims the belt belongs to him and everyone knows it. The only person who doesn't seem to know it is Randy Orton. Triple H then warns Orton that what happened last week was just a taste of what's to come. He offers Orton a choice tonight - he can walk to this ring, lay down and give the title back in which case Evolution will walk away as if Orton never existed. But if he makes the wrong choice, then Triple H says he will make sure personally that Randy will cease to exist.
Randy Orton makes his way to the ring and keeps looking at his belt as if he's about to turn it over. Triple H calls for a referee so Orton can lay down. Triple H then yells out "hand me that belt, now!" so Orton prepares to hand it over. Triple H tries to grab it but Orton won't let go so Trips tries again to which Orton spits in his face. Triple H charges at Orton but Orton clocks him with the belt and then bails as Batista and Ric Flair give chase.
Backstage, Victoria complains to Eric Bischoff about Lita being forced to marry Kane. Bischoff says the wedding will go on when Triple H barges in and pushes Victoria away. He asks Bischoff if he saw what just happened. Bischoff says yes and announces Orton vs. Triple H at Unforgiven. So much for saving it for Wrestlemania...
Up next, William Regal vs. Ric Flair
William Regal vs. Ric Flair
-I don't know why I thought this was a tag team match...oh well. They head outside where Flair chops away on Regal but then gets caught in a body drop which sends him sprawling onto the mat. Batista checks up on him as we head to a commercial. Flair gets Regal in the figure four but with the ref distracted by Batista, Eugene runs in and reverses it. Batista intervenes and sends Eugene flying so Chris Benoit then runs out and starts brawling with Batista as Regal and Flair both take out brass knuckles. Back-to-back, they turn around at the same time but Regal beats him to the punch. Regal covers Flair for the victory.
The same "Shawn Michaels returns at Unforgiven" promo airs.
They recap Smackdown!. Read the report up on the site if you care.
Coach introduces the remaining divas and asks us to vote, etc. etc.
Kane is shown walking through the hallway in preparation for his upcoming wedding to Lita.
Two midgets come out and serve as the ring bearer and the flower girl. Kane is out next and gives the flower girl a kiss on the cheeks. Finally, Lita comes out but instead of the white dress Kane presented to her, she has a black one on which angers Kane. We start the ceremony but the priest/pastor/minister/whatever says that there is a man here who has something to say. With that, he introduces Eric Bischoff who gives a little speech to bless the soon to be couple. Then they air a series of clips showing how this relationship came to be. Kane goes first with his vows. He tells Lita that when he first chose her, he thought of her just as an instrument. But now she's more than just the woman carrying his child. She is now his property and will never know freedom because there is no escape from this day forward until the day she dies. You are mine. Lita is next and says that Kane is a vile man and she loves and will always love Matt Hardy. The only joy she has is to hope that he gets into a terrible accident leading to a painful death. She hopes that Kane rots in hell. Kane thinks her vows were lovely but the priest moves the ceremony along by asking if there is anyone who wants to speak up.
Trish Stratus' music hits and out she comes saying she is here to show support for her friend Lita. Trish says she doesn't support sex before marriage but she supports Lita 100%. Trish then assures Lita that everything will be fine as long as she opens her heart - just like she opened her legs. Lita doesn't like it and the two begin to cat fight on the floor until Kane pulls Lita off. They try to conclude the ceremony and Lita finally says "I do" but before Kane can say the same, Matt Hardy's music hits and he comes through the audience and begins to assault Kane. Matt hits the Twist of Fate and tries to run off with Lita but Kane gets up and starts a wall of fire by the rampway which barricades the exit. Kane then kicks Matt and chokeslams him from the ramp onto the floor and through the table as Lita begs for him to stop. Kane then grabs Lita and brings her back to the ring and they finish the ceremony as Kane says "I do." They are pronounced man and wife and Kane kisses his bride as Lita flails her arms. An overjoyed Kane picks up Lita and carries her away as medical personnel attend to Matt.
End of show.
