Report by: Tom, rajah.com reader
RAW Brand presents "Escape the Rules", from Rochester NY @ the Blue Cross
Arena. Sunday, June 6th, 2004.
-First match up was Val Venis vs. Test. The crowd was booing the living shit
out of Test....they seem to hate him just because he exists. Test tried
messing with some little kid in the audience; Val mocks him saying that the kid
could kick Test's ass. Basically he was just trying to be a heel, but only
getting booed because people know that he sucks. Seriously, Nash is gone; grow
out the hair and wear leather pants again! Anyway, it was a pretty decent
match. Val went for a Money Shot after some wrestling, but Test got the knees up.
After some more of a beatdown, Test tried to set up Val for a superplex,
but Venis shoves him off and Val hits the splash for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Val Venis
-Next up I believe, was La Resistance vs. Matt Hardy and Hurricane. Strange
that VEEE-ONE-AAAH was teaming with Hurricane (instead of Hurricane with his
S.H.I.T), but it was a pretty good match nonetheless. La Resistance was back
to getting booed like crazy, and I was cheering for Hardy. Quite a good
match, but I would have liked to see more finisher attempts. La Resistance knocks
Hurricane out of the ring and hits Hardy with their neckbreaker double team
finish for the 1-2-3 and retains their belts.
Winner and still Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
Next up, Randy Orton came out to a shower of boos, set to defend the IC strap
against Shelton Benjamin. Surprisingly, I saw no real finisher attempts,
although Shelton hit a powerslam mid-match and almost got the win. Orton gets
the win with a cheap roll-up; I believe he might have had the tights.
Winner and still the Intercontinental Champ: Randy Orton
Everything cleared up for a bit, and then out comes the Popcorn
Fart....err...I mean The Coach! He kisses ass to Eric B and then out comes the RAW GM
himself. He just plugs the event and Bad Blood (Fink plugged Bad Blood too, and
botched on the date...ROTFL), and out comes Eugene followed by Regal trying to
restrain him. Eric berates Regal while Coach teases Eugene and gets knocked
around for his troubles. Garrison "I have no gimmick or charisma" Cade comes
out and Bischoff tries to make a handicapped match, barring Regal from the
ring. Just as he says Eugene has no other friends, out runs Rhyno to a pretty
big pop! Which sets up, Rhyno and Eugene vs Coach and Garrison Cade. Coach
plays chicken from Rhyno the entire match, and they battle back and forth before
Cade gets knocked from the ring. Rhyno wants to Gore, but wait!!! so does
Eugene. Eugene hits the Gore on the Coach for the 1-2-3!
Winners: Rhyno and Eugene.
Edge vs "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Not surprisingly, Flair got a lot of cheers
and people screaming "WOO!" throughout the whole match. I was trying to get
everyone to boo Edge. Flair kept trying to get heel heat before the match,
demanding respect, but it just didn't seem to work. A lot of arm work from
Flair after he escaped a figure-four attempt from Edge. Later on, Orton comes
out and gets speared off the apron, and then Edge turns on Flair with a spear
and gets the eventual 1-2-3, which very much pisses me off. I shouted to Edge
to get his own damn moveset....his Spear sucks.
Winner: Edge (boooooooo! WE WANT FLAIR!)
Intermission.
Chris Jericho vs. Tyson Tomko (with Trish Stratus), No-DQ match. Oddly
enough, the stipulation was barely even used... man, does Trish look tiny in
person. Tomko needs better attire... wow, black trunks and knee pads...how
original). This match was only good because of Jericho. I was even shouting
some sarcasting comments like "Wow, big men sure are impressive!". Tomko
managed to his his "phantom boot" that actually seemed to connect for once. Y2J
spanked Trish's nice little ass, before locking Tomko into the Walls and ending
the match. Seriously, just get rid of Tomko; he sucks! The chair wasn't even
used; Jericho did his little step-up enziguri and knocked it away from Tomko.
Winner: Chris Jericho via submission!
Next out came Stacy Keibler, and holy shit, did I want to jump in the ring
and grab her ass right there. Definitely one of the best women in the WWE.
Well, she was the ref for the next match. Victoria (who came out to her old
theme, no stupid dancing) and Lita taking on Molly Holly and Gail Kim. Usual
women's match, but Gail got tripped up when they tried to steal a page from the
Hardy's old book (Poetry in Motion or something similar to it), Molly took
offense to Stacy. Stacy pushed her on her ass and de-wigged her, and Victoria
took the match with her painful looking Widow's Peak finisher.
Winner: Victoria and Lita. But seeing Stacy made ME, and every male fan in
the audience feel like the true winners.
Last up: Chris Benoit vs Kane for the World Heavyweight Title.
Surprisingly a shorter match, nothing too special really, except Benoit hitting TWO
diving headbutts and Kane just sitting up. Chokeslam attempt reversed into a
Crossface, but Kane wouldn't go to the mat. Benoit reversed another one and made
Kane tap like a little bitch.
Winner and still the World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit.
Benoit got on the mic as Kane was leaving, getting the crowd to do the whole
"You tapped out!" deal. Yeah, whatever. Decent enough show, but I would
have preffered an actual RAW or SmackDown, not just some Bad Blood warmup. No
Triple H, no Shawn Michaels, no Batista (not that I cared).
Top Crowd Pleasers:
Chris Benoit
Eugene
Ric Flair (sort of)
Top Heat:
Test
Randy Orton/Coach
La Resistance
Notes:
Tomko really needs better attire (or just a pink slip); Test needs his old
look back (or...again, a pink slip), Matt Hardy needs to win more...why don't
they put him over Triple H twice; that seems to work wonders for people? and
Val Venis and Rhyno....are they face or heel? ...christ.
Tom,
Rochester NY