This is different. Instead of a Tuesday or Wednesday column, I decided to go with a Friday column in order to write about Smackdown, as well as toss in a quickie preview of the Great American Bash (it'll be in the Three Count section) for Sunday. Before I get to the Smackdown Recap, though, I wanted to talk about what looks to be the end of this Muhammad Hassan character.
You probably read on this site or other sites about how UPN has asked WWE to end the Muhammad Hassan character based largely on the "terrorist" angle on Smackdown two weeks ago on July 7th. According to the Observer and Torch, the character is likely done at the Great American Bash, probably losing cleanly to the Undertaker and never heard from again. If you'll recall, I wrote two columns about the angle on July 10 and also a followup on July 14. My general feeling was that this angle was tasteless not necessarily because it aired the same day that the terrorist bombings in London took place, but because it was considered some good idea in the first place.
Since then, you probably saw or read about the promo from last week's Smackdown taping where Hassan criticized an article in the New York Post about the angle. What Hassan (and WWE, because they wrote what he said) did was take advantage of some NY Post writer who obviously doesn't watch WWE or hadn't watched that character before. Just because somebody in the media writes something does not give them credibility, in my eyes. You think NY Post writer dude knows that the character is not a terrorist? No. He probably had no clue. You can tell by what he wrote. So WWE, instead of addressing the issue of the stupidity of doing this angle in the first place, uses their television (or internet in this case) to rip the "media" for hating him. It wasn't the media. It was the fans. All the fans that wrote in to say you're wrong for doing an angle that played on the emotions that they felt on 9/11 as well as the London bombings. In one instance (not that week on SD, but in general) you've got a 300 pound grown man like Heidenreich asking kids to be his friend like he's an idiot and then you want to run some political angle on us?
What WWE did was exactly what the media does to them. They don't choose to address the REAL issue, which in this case is the tastelessness of such an angle in the first place. Instead, they say the media is out to get Hassan, which basically means us aka World Wrestling Entertainment.
People are saying the future plan would reveal that they weren't "terrorists." That's not the point. It's about now. Not the future. I don't care what the future plan was. Having the masked men be white Americans wouldn't have made it any better. That's just a rumor. All I've read about it is that the "masked men" were supposed to be around for a couple more weeks. The fact that they thought it was smart to dress men up like that in the first place shows how stupid this angle is.
Of course, this comes from the mind of Vince and Stephanie McMahon. Who can forget Stephanie after 9/11 comparing her dad being on trial for steroids to 3,000+ people dying? You think they're sympathetic? Not really. They don't give a damn. Congrats to UPN for telling them they're wrong with this insensitive stuff. It's about freaking time.
Bottom line: WWE screwed up. I'm glad they're paying for it. It's just a shame that the stupid writers that think this stuff up aren't paying for it and that these two talented on screen performers are instead.
Regarding the wrestlers themselves, I don't know what they're going to do. I think both have futures in the business because they show tremendous talent. I just hope neither gets fired over this whole thing. It's not their fault. It's the writing.
If anybody wants to make me a new banner for this, email me!
Smackdown Recap for 07/21/05
We start with a video of JBL's clothesline from last week on Batista. Great. Does anybody think JBL is winning on Sunday? I don't think so. JBL giving a "victory speech" later in the show was proof.
First match was Mysterio vs. Super Crazy. It was pretty good, but far from great. With Eddie Guerrero acting as guest announcer for the match, the attention wasn't really on the match. They pulled off some good moves, with each hitting moonsaults and legdrops among other things. Other than that, though, the focus was on Guerrero at the announce table. Of course Eddie came in, grabbed a rake from Psicosis and cracked it over Rey's match for the DQ finish. It was about 15 minutes, yet it didn't come off as being great due to all the other stuff going on.
A spoof comparing JBL to George Washington made me laugh. There was a bunch of these all night, the others comparing him to Neil Armstrong, Martin Luther King and Ronald Reagan.
Eddie went to leave, but Long stopped him. He has a match later, but his opponent is a secret. Oh, how clever.
Christian did an interview about Booker T., mocking Josh Matthews in the process. He called him Ryan Seacrest. He ended saying "Seacrest Out." I didn't know that was that guy's catchphrase until David Letterman was talking about it and kept saying "Seagraves out" for most of the show. This was pretty good, though.
Heidenreich and Animal beat two jobbers in about thirty seconds. Whatever.
Chris Benoit was Guerrero's surprise opponent. They had a pretty good match that, much like Crazy/Mysterio earlier, is tainted by the finish. The match was a good one, very physical and saw both guys working pretty hard. It was probably better than their One Night Stand match although they've had better ones against eachother. About 11 minutes in, Benoit finally got the Crossface on, Guerrero bailed to the floor and got counted out. They just used that finish on Raw with Carlito. How creative. When he reached the end of the aisle way, Rey Mysterio came out for the requisite brawl.
Candice Michelle came out to kiss some military ass saying the show was free on the Armed Forces Network. Melina came out, said Candice was the ref for her bra and panties match against Torrie, so she'd use her as an example. She ripped off Candice's top then "hit" her with some forearms until Torrie "I'm still employed?" Wilson came down to kick her out of the ring. I heart Melina.
Booker T. beat Simon Dean in about a minute. Two squash matches on this show. It's okay Simon, at least you're wrestling with the Blue World Order on Sunday.
"Main event" of the show was JBL's acceptance speech about winning the world title on Sunday. In other words, he's not winning the title, not that anybody believed he would. Since JBL cut the same promo he's cut for about a year there's no need to recap it. Needless to say, Batista came out, told JBL he's a loser and beat up Orlando Jordan because what opponent of JBL doesn't beat up Orlando Jordan? What a boring, clichéd finish to the show this was.
Final Thoughts
I don't know how to rate this show. It seems like Smackdown is limping into the Great American Bash. I think it was a bad idea to only have the show for about four minutes. Look, we get JBL is the top heel. It's been that way for a year. It's getting tiresome. The vignettes were funny and his speech was pretty good, but it's repetitive. It's the same as all of his other feuds, except there's even less heat on this one. The two longer matches on the show were pretty good, but neither had a real finish because of the endings. All in all, this came off like an average show that will get an average score from me.
Match Results
Mysterio over Crazy via DQ - **1/4 (Could have been a lot better.)
Animal & Heidy over Jobbers - DUD (Not much of a match, which is probably a good thing.)
Benoit over Guerrero via CO - **3/4 (I enjoyed it, but am left wanting more.)
Booker over Dean - DUD (Squashzilla.)
4.75 out of 10
The News
- Former WWE announcer Lord Alfred Hayes passed away on Thursday. WWE.com has an article about his passing as well as a video tribute. He was a colorful play by play announcer who was always good at his job, calling the action with great emotion at times and crack jokes on the heel commentator at other times. He really did a good job. He was one of the early voices that I remember in WWE when I started to watch in the early 80s. RIP, Lord Alfred, you ruled.
- Both WWE referee Earl Hebner and agent Dave Hebner have been fired by WWE. At first it was just Earl, but now it looks like Earl is gone too. They were fired for selling WWE merchandise without the approval of the company. That's a pretty shady thing of them to do. Both Hebner's had long, 20+ year careers with WWE. You'd think they would know better than to do something as stupid as that. It's going to be weird to see WWE TV without Earl Hebner out there. He's been such a constant over the years and is easily the most recognizable referee they've ever had.
- For a final note on Matt Hardy coming back, Meltzer reported in the last Observer that he re-signed with WWE on June 20. Everything after that point was pretty much a work. He'll be making his independent dates that he has scheduled, and then he will go on the road with WWE as a regular performer.
- Check out http://www.reymysterio.com/ lately? Everything has been "taken over" by Eddie Guerrero. It's pretty funny. I think it's a great idea.
The Three Count
1. Here's a mini preview of the Great American Bash.
BWO vs. Mexicools - I hope the Mexicools go over. They have more of a future in WWE than the BWO does, I think.
Torrie vs. Melina in a Bra & Panties Match - I would have said Melina, but judging from what went down on Smackdown I'd say Torrie wins. But really, we all win in a match like this, right?
Booker T. vs. Christian - This is like a feud out of Raw two years ago. I think Christian needs wins more if they ever want to get him to be a real main eventer, so Christian wins here.
MNM vs. Animal & Heidenreich for the tag titles - MNM retains. Please. I doubt this match gets more than ten minutes, nor should it.
Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit for the U.S. Title - WWE made ZERO attempt to have any sort of rivalry for this. It's like they won't allow Jordan to have a feud for whatever reason. I like Benoit to win to hopefully bring some credibility to a belt that has been dead ever since Jordan won the thing.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a "Secret" Match - Eddie has to go over at some point, right? This is it. Best match on the show too.
Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan in a #1 Contender's Match - Is this still going on? Probably. With rumors of Hassan's end coming soon, I think Undertaker wins here although I wouldn't be shocked if the #1 Contender's stip is eliminated since I don't know if they want to do Undertaker/Batista so soon.
Batista vs. JBL for the World Title - Batista retains. If there's not a lot of brawling it'll probably be ugly.
I wouldn't be shocked to see Randy Orton show up during either the Undertaker's match or Batista's match since he should be cleared to wrestle very soon and will probably be ready to go by Summerslam.
I think I'm watching the show and doing live play by play. Not 100% sure, though.
2. I thought the Michaels-Hogan interviews on Raw this week were flat. Michaels saying nobody beats Hogan or ends Hulkamania is weak. I guess it's just the WWE way of ignoring the past, but I'll remember Lesnar making him pass out to the bearhug, Rock beating him twice on PPV, Angle making him tap clean on PPV, Undertaker beating him for the title as well as the horrible Mr. America gimmick. I just think it's stupid to pretend like it's 1989 all over again and nobody can stop Hulkamania again. Let's be realistic here. The man is 51, he's a good 15 years past his prime and yet they're going to act like he's still a killer, still a guy that's going to beat anybody he's up against?
I guess if I had to pick a side I'd be on the side that doesn't want to see Hogan wrestle. I saw him, I enjoyed him and I want to remember him for what I enjoyed. Now I don't really enjoy him. I'd rather see a young guy like Shelton Benjamin get a strong push. I'd rather see the focus of Raw be on John Cena instead of Hogan considering Cena's the guy that will make them money in the next decade, not the near senior citizen. With that said, if you're not into Hogan these days you're in for some bad news. He's expected to be used quite a bit over the next year with rumors already flowing for a Hogan vs. Austin match at WrestleMania 22.
3. I think a lot of us have noticed WWE reaching out to the internet again. For what it's worth, in the last Wrestling Observer there was a blurb about how Shane McMahon (he's in charge of WWE's internet site among other tasks he does) made the call that they'd "smarten up" WWE.com since they know most fans get their news from other sites anyway. They're trying to do this as a way to break stories like the Lesnar one (which was sort of broken on WWE.com, but they haven't gone ahead to say he's signed for sure like other sites have) and the day all those people got released.
I think, personally, that WWE's very wise to do this and it's only going to make them more popular among internet fans. Yes, ROH is in the internet darling right now (with good reason), but I think WWE has the resources and the means to really smarten up their main page to the point where people don't laugh when they go there all the time.
I'd love it if they put Velocity or Heat matches, the good ones, on the website just because not everybody watches those shows and it'd be a way to get more people to their site. They have a lot of old matches in their jukebox, but it seems like more current matches, and full ones at that, is the next step for them.
Reader Questions & Comments
I should start this out by saying I still have about 45 unread emails stemming from my two Hassan columns a couple weeks back. I've been extremely busy, so I haven't had time to get to them, but I will. Since most of my mail has been about the terror angle that I'm done talking about (at least I hope I am now) I'll include just a few emails this time. There'll be more next time depending on you guys. Reader comments in yellow. Mine in regular font.
Hey, yo man, love Rajah.com. I'm there everyday. Anyway, I was wondering, just how long Triple H is going to be out, I hear he's back in dark match at raw last week, and whether he will be a heel or face upon his return.
He did the dark matches because they advertised Cena/Batista vs. JBL/HHH at some Raw and Smackdown TV tapings. Triple H works behind the scenes in WWE, so even though he's not wrestling he's still going to the TV shows. I think part of the reason they want him to be out for a bit is to establish, or re-establish, some of their heels like Jericho and the newly turned Michaels. I'd expect HHH to be back after Summerslam. Not sure if he'd be a face or heel because while everybody thinks it'll be HHH-Cena after SSlam I think it's gonna be Michaels-Cena instead. Basically he's stepping aside for his buddy Shawn.
What will he do when he gets back? I don't know. I'd rather he stay heel because I think he's better in that role than as a babyface, but I'm sure deep down he wants another go as a babyface since his run in 2002 lasted about half a year.
Time off is a good thing. He'll be fresh again, he'll be healthier and he'll be doing something that is less predictable than the norm for him. I'd say it's a good idea.
Let's get you to play bookie for a minute:
The Highlight Reel and the Cabana are both on Raw. They both had a segment in what you described as one of the weakest Raw's in a while (I agree). What's your over/under for the length of time they'll co-exist on Raw? How about the odds on each for cancellation or trade to SmackDown?
J. W. Kensington
With both Jericho and Carlito as heels it'd be stupid to have them feud. I think you'll see Jericho's Highlight Reel getting dumped from Raw. Not because it's bad, but because it's been done enough now and he seems to have a more serious character. The interview segments are good for cracking jokes, which is what Carlito does really well and Jericho used to do really well. If they're going to book Jericho as a serious title contender then the Highlight Reel goes. Over on Smackdown, I hope they give Christian an interview segment called The Peep Show. Could be really fun.
I've been a WWE/F fan since around 1991 so one of the first angles I saw was the Hogan/Slaughter feud. Just read your column about the terror angle on Smackdown and there's a few points I'd like to add. One thing we do much better in the UK with our programming than they do in the States is demonstrate a degree of sensitivity. For example, if the WWE had been a UK-based brand, they would never have been allowed to show the terror angle for several reasons. Firstly, as you talked about it's a slap in the face to everyone involved and affected by the 9/11 attacks and the subsequent attacks in Bali, Madrid and London. Secondly, a point I believe you overlooked is that it has the potential to create a prejudiced environment towards Arab-Americans so in a sense it's a slap in the face to all Arab-Americans..a community who would have been as outraged and affected by the events of 9/11 as the rest of Americans. Thus, it comes back to Hassan's gimmick. I hope and pray that the WWE has the sense to change his gimmick as soon as possible because the WWE should never take the political highground.
To me there is clear cultural racist undertones in WWE's programming and always has been. Look at the way Mexicans are portrayed and the fact that even Canadians have to be "now heiling from New York/Atlanta Georgia.." in order to come across as superior in some sense. The Anglo-American relationship has always been used to get over British wrestlers also..look at Lex Luger/British Bulldog (The "Allied" Powers)...get over it WWE..World War 2 ended in 1945!
The WWE has to learn to stop playing on basic, narrow-minded stereotypes and get back to something like the attitude era where wrestlers could be more or less an extension of themselves...ie you knew that Austin liked beer and was a bit of a bionic redkneck so one could relate to him..that HBK and HHH's DX antics were probably extensions of the way they behaved backstage and The Rock's wit and humour in promos was his own original brilliance. This brings me back to Hassan..we know that he is not a terrorist or even a sympathiser so fans can never relate to him. This is true of so many enforced gimmicks in the WWE right now that it turns people like me off so many characters. On the other hand, look at John Cena's popularity..his character is an extension of himself..same could be said of Christian's cult following.
To sum up and get back to the point, WWE has to demonstrate sensitivity because Hassan's gimmick is unrealistic and has racial consequences as well as, like you argued, playing on people's fears and emotions.
Keep up the excellent reports and articles!!
Andreas
Great email. Thanks for sending that. I think you nailed it on the head. I don't think WWE is the type of company that is great at dealing with real issues in the world considering how fake and ridiculous some of their angles are. Look at Kane's history for example. It's laughable, really, yet all of a sudden these same writers are going to write about stuff that hits us as a culture? I don't get it. They'll never learn, though. This is the most recent offensive angle until the next one comes in a year or two years.
How You Can Be Here
Email me a question with regards to anything WWE related. Ask me what I think about a wrestler, what I think about a match from the past (I can give you a star rating and thoughts on it, for example), a storyline going on or anything else. My only request is no fantasy booking. I know people like to do that. I just don't want to do that in this column. Another option is write me a commentary that's around 500 words at the most and I'll consider posting it.
Send all comments and/or questions to me at oratoryjohn@gmail.com and throw in a name for me to reference to as well. I won't post your email address, but a name would be nice. A location is fine too. That's up to you.
I really enjoy answering your questions and hearing your ideas for stuff. It's a lot of fun, so please keep them coming.
Column Flashbacks
In this section from now on I'm going to link you to a column from my archives. Over the six years I've been writing online there's been plenty of things to write about, so I thought it would be a good idea to mention a column in this section during the News & Views that's available for you to peruse if you are so inclined.
This week's flashback comes from two years ago this week when I wrote an article about a then midcard wrestler named John Cena who I felt compared favorably with a man named The Rock. It was called The Untouchable One and is something I still believe in to this day. The Rock/Cena similarities are scary. Check it out.
In Closing…
I don't know when the next News & Views will be. Probably two weeks away. I'm not going to be around much next week, so I doubt I'll have time to write a News & Views. I may do a column, though. Not sure what exactly, but I have some ideas.
People have asked about the blog. I decided to close it for now, but I'll probably bring it back up come September when I'm around the computer more.
See you Sunday, probably, for the live coverage of the Great American Bash.
Smell ya later,
John C. - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
Links to check out:
The Oratory - The Best Wrestling Columns on the Net!
The John Report Archives - Missed something that I wrote? That's the place to go.