WWE Great American Bash
Buffalo, New York
I missed the first five minutes of the broadcast because my way of ordering delayed it a bit for me. The ring has the red, white and blue ropes. Old school, baby!
MNM vs. Heidenreich & Animal
My Pick: MNM
The faces were in control early until Heidenreich was going for a power move, then MNM clipped him in the back of the knee. He's been selling the knee. The crowd has chanted everything from "LOD" to even "Heidenreich." He has friends! Nitro's attempt to slam on the knee with his butt is countered by Heidenreich, who slowly rolls away. Mercury comes in, Heidenreich powers him off. Hot tag to Animal, he cleans house with a dropkick on Nitro. Animal misses a charge at Mercury, Nitro gets handed the title, smacks Animal with it and Animal kicks out at two. They go for the Snapshot, Heidenreich clotheslines Nitro. Powerslam by Animal on Mercury, then Heidenreich with the Doomsday Device clothesline. That gets the three count after about 8 minutes.
Winners: Animal & Heidenreich
Analysis: * Match was just okay. Crowd was into the babyface team a lot, so in that sense it was well done.
Post match, Animal grabs the mic and says: "Hawk, this one was for you, brother." Pretty cool actually.
Eddie's backstage with Josh Matthews. He's got a new development for his match. He called Rey and suggested something, but Rey didn't like it. Then he saw it his way and if he didn't then he would have his secret revealed. Eddie's new addiction is manipulation, he says. He says Dominic gets to come out to ringside to watch his uncle Eddie beat his dad in the middle of the ring. "Then, sweet little Dominic gets to come inside the ring and listen to the bedtime story that uncle Eddie promised to tell him. A long, long time ago." If Michael Jackson said that same thing he'd be arrested. Eddie pulls off psycho man very well.
Christian vs. Booker T.
My Pick: Christian
My boy Christian comes out first. I wonder if he'll get some cheers since Buffalo is so close to his hometown of Toronto. I hope so. They show the video of two weeks ago when Christian attacked Booker from behind to get a "win" on Booker. Makes me want to change my pick, actually. Oh well. Booker comes out with Sharmell.
Booker chases him around early. Referee Brian "I'm the only one with my last name left" Hebner is the ref. Make sure he's not selling Christian shirts while he refs! They note Booker is 5-1 in the history of the Bash. Booker tries to beat him on the outside, but Christian gets in the ring, then he beats him in the ring and Christian goes up the ramp. Yes, there's a ramp for a Smackdown show. He chops Christian, rolling him back in. Booker gets a slingshot into the turnbuckle, then a rollup gets two. Booker kicks him in the corner, Christian uses the ref to block Booker, then throws him into the ringpost and comes off the ropes with an inverted swinging DDT for two. He chokes him over the bottom rope, then hits a flying armbar move for two. Chinlock by Christian, Booker fights out and Christian whips him down by his hair, then grabs another side headlock.
"Let's Go Christian" chant. Booker comes back with something (I took a swig of water during it), gets two and the crowd boos. Booker goes for a sidekick, Christian ducks and Booker gets crotched on the top rope. Christian grabs Sharmell, then goes after the ref. Turns around, she slaps him. He runs back to Sharmell, Booker hits the Book End for one…two…no. Great nearfall there. Another Christian chant. Into the ropes, Booker gets a forearm, then a clothesline and a vertical suplex for two. Booker goes for him rollup move out of the corner, Christian rolls out of it, covers for just two as he uses the ropes. He charges in, Booker hits the spinebuster. Booker's getting booed again as he hits a flapjack and Spinarooni. Scissors kick is avoided, Unprettier setup is cheered, Booker shoves him to the ropes. Ten punch count in the corner, Christian with a powerbomb and feet on the ropes gets just two. They mention how it's a short drive from Toronto. Booker with a hot shot across the top rope, then he goes to the top and hits a missile dropkick for two as Christian gets his foot on the bottom rope. Christian chucks Booker out to the floor. He follows him there, Booker whips him face first into the ringpost, then into the steps. He breaks the count, then whips him into the steps again, then breaks the count again. Good way of referencing their SD altercation. Back in, Booker off the second rope with a scissor kick gets the one, two, three at 12 minutes.
Winner: Booker T
Analysis: **1/4 Pretty good match that was what you'd expect by these guys. Booker isn't the worker he once was and Christian is pretty good, so it was alright. Anyway, the match was a solid midcard match, which is what you'd expect.
Backstage, that Romero dude interviews Melina. She says MNM will be the champs again. For her match, she won't let us see her in bra and panties. She'll beat Torrie. Hey, whatever, fine by me.
United States Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit
My Pick: Chris Benoit
OJ comes out first. They show a clip from Heat where OJ is cutting a promo and Benoit punches him in the face while they are backstage. That's about all their was to this feud. I don't know why WWE never gives OJ a feud. OJ's lack of a reaction was pretty noticeable. Benoit got a pretty significant pop. Four months and 22 day reign for OJ. Maybe the worst title reign ever due to the booking of the title (he has no significant defenses) rather than Jordan's talent.
They start with a stiff headlock to start. Benoit pounds him with the usual stuff in the corner, then throws in a hard knee and more chops in the corner. OJ tries to slug, Benoit wins that and gets him with a snap suplex. OJ gets the advantage, working on the left arm/shoulder of Benoit with a wrist lock. Whip in, OJ misses a boot and Benoit with a dragon screw sending OJ to the floor. Baseball slide, Jordan moves and shoves Benoit back first into the ring post. Jordan's undoing the top turnbuckle, but Benoit comes running in and hits him with a release German suplex. Jordan comes back by working on Benoit's arm with punches and kicks. Armbreaker by Jordan, then he sinks in another armbar on Benoit on the mat. Benoit tries to fight out of it, but Jordan hits him with a dropkick. Jordan taunts the crowd by writing the letters "O" and "J" in the air. Nobody reacts to it. Benoit tackles him, then throws punches, but Jordan turns it around and punches on him. Another armbar. Jordan rolls through for two. Sharpshooter attempt wakes the crowd up, but Jordan kicks him out. Benoit comes up with chops, so Jordan just hits him in the arm again, then another armbar. The crowd is totally dead from all the armbars. They'll wake up for Benoit's signature spots, I hope.
Benoit fights out of it with punches, but Jordan comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two that got no reaction from the crowd. Jordan punches him right in the face a few times for a couple quick covers for two. I like when the ref admonishes people for closed fights. High elbow for Jordan gets two. Now Jordan sticks the knee into the back and pulls back on the arms in another rest hold. Bodyslam by Jordan, then he goes to the top. Benoit cuts him off. Benoit with chops and a hard superplex wakes up the crowd a bit. Jordan's offense and his lack of being in any sort of big match really shows by how the crowd is dead during his offense. Benoit with the double chops, then he goes for the Sharpshooter, but it doesn't work. German suplex, OJ reverses, Benoit reverses that for a second and then a third German suplex with a release. Headbutt time and he's out in the middle of the ring, so it's a big dive. Yes! He covers for just two, crowd bought it. Come on crowd, he doesn't win with that move. Benoit whips him into the turnbuckle, then Jordan's head goes back first into Benoit's. Now he took the pad off the turnbuckle. Benoit goes to German suplex him, Jordan moves his body forward, ducks his head Benoit goes headfirst into the steel in the turnbuckle. Match was 15 minutes.
Winner: Orlando Jordan
Post match, Benoit stands up and they give him a standing ovation. I love the man, but that seemed really forced to me.
Analysis: *1/4 Slow match. Almost too slow. Like I said during the match writeup, OJ's lack of exposure as a wrestler really hurt the match because the crowd was dead during the parts where he was on offense. The rest holds throughout the match as Jordan was on offense really hurt the quality of it. The finish was out of nowhere to me. I guess they wanted this to be Jordan's coming out part, but all it proved to me was that he needs a lot of work. I'll guess that this feud isn't over.
#1 Contenders Match: Muhammad Hassan w/Daivari vs. Undertaker
My Pick: Undertaker
I don't know if being my pick is a good thing considering I'm 0-3 tonight in those. They show the long video package including all the things that led to people criticizing the angle in the first place. Not only that, but they played some music that I would say is Arabic as the "masked men" beat up Undertaker. They even showed the pre-match pep talk by Hassan where he told Daivari he was a sacrifice and the post match where Daivari was carried out like he was some martyr. Well, I guess it's not on UPN, so they're allowed to show that.
Hassan comes out first. If this is the end of Hassan I'm going to miss the theme music. Seriously, I love it. He's being carried out by the masked men while he's kneeling on a red chair. I guess he's their God or something. Sign in the crowd: "RIP Hassan 7-24-05." Could have a double meaning, huh? Hassan cuts a promo. "If I cannot defeat Undertaker tonight I will not show my face on Smackdown again. I will be back at Smackdown. I will be your number one contender. At Summerslam, I will be come world heavyweight champion and fulfill my destiny as the first Arab American champion in WWE history. I left Undertaker beaten and bloody in the middle of this ring. As an Arab American, I know about sacrificed. I sacrificed Daivari, I sacrificed my lawyer, and I know I have what it takes to beat the Undertaker." Then he says some more that's too fast for me to meet. "After I beat the Undertaker I will be forever known as the great Muhammad Hassan." Undertaker time, so I can rest during the entrance. Daivari's out on the floor along with five masked men, who are now all around the ring. Should be interesting to see what happens considering all the Hassan rumors.
Undertaker pounds on him to start with his usual punches, then works on the left arm. Old School clothesline time for Undertaker. Hooks the head and arm for the Flatliner type move for just two. The ref admonishes Taker for beating on Hassan in the corner, Undertaker stares him down, he charges into Hassan and Daivari pulls him out of the way. Undertaker to the floor where the "sympathizers" beat on him on the floor. I guess I have to type sympathizers every time. Yay. In the ring, boot to the throat for Hassan and a sympathizer chokes Undertaker. Hebner just tried to sell sympathizer merchandise! Fire him! Sorry, can't help the jokes. Hassan with a DDT, then a chinlock. Undertaker fights back, they throw punches and Undertaker punches him hard, knocking him down so his legs collapse under him. Undertaker to the floor, he punches down a sympathizer. Another sympathizer chokes Undertaker with the wire, then he gets thrown back into the ring. Hassan signals for the camel clutch and sinks it in, but Undertaker fights out by getting to his feet and drops back with the Electric Chair Drop. He charges Hassan in the corner with a clothesline, then another one. Sympathizer in ring eats boot. Snake eyes, then another sympathizer eats boot, Undertaker knocks down Hassan, hits another sympathizer and ANOTHER one with punches. Why is this not a DQ? Nobody knows. Hassan with a boot to the gut, Undertaker counters. Chokeslam. One, two, three. That's it? Match was 9 minutes.
Winner: The Undertaker
Post match, Undertaker gets beat on by all the dudes. Then he basically kills all of the sympathizers. One of them goes into the steps, another takes the throat killer with the steel chair. Another gets a chokeslam, another gets thrown onto the Spanish table. In ring, Hassan shoves Daivari into Undertaker, who dispatches of Daivari by throwing him to the floor. The dude with the wire comes in now and eats a Tombstone. Undertaker out on the floor whips Daivari head first through the bottom of the Smackdown announce table. Ouch. Hassan is crawling up the stage for some reason. Why can't he walk? Because it's wrestling. Undertaker has killed six guys so far. Chokeslam on the steel ramp for Undertaker. Undertaker takes one of the steel plates out of the ramp, then he takes another one out. Powerbomb time, Last Ride through the stage. Goodnight Hassan. UPN wins. He just went over seven guys. Talk about being put over strong. After a replay, they show Hassan laying on top of a pipe that's on concrete. Whoever pulled the mats away did it quickly.
Analysis: 1/2* Not much of a match. More of an angle. That ending of the Hassan character was pretty damn final. There's no way this character is living on now. He's up in WWE heaven along with recent members Al Wilson and Paul Bearer. The visual was very good, no doubt about that.
Torrie does an interview saying she's going to give the men something they want to see, Melina in her bra and panties.
We go back to paramedics with Hassan. There's "blood" all around the back of Hassan's head as the paramedics, the slowest paramedics ever, loads him onto the board. But enough of a man that's hospitalized, let's go onto the next match.
Mexicools vs. Blue World Order
My Pick: Mexicools
The Mexicools come out on their Juan Deer mowers. The BWO is comes out on Big Wheels. Nova and Richards whip Meanie into Crazy and Psicosis in the corner, squashing them. Then they all bail to the floor. Nova does the Hogan point toward Crazy, but Juvi hits springboard spin kick to the back of the head. The Juice with a spinning kick, then he grabs an armbar. Orlando Jordan is backstage saying "stop stealing my moves!" Tag to Crazy, he hits a seated dropkick on Hollywood Nova aka I'm Not Simon Dean. Tag to Juvi, who does another armbar, but Nova fights back with the "big boot" to Juvi. The Juice tags in Psicosis, Nova kicks him off and gets the hot tag, Richards with a high elbow to Psico, then a back bodydrop and Juvi's springboard misses. Sideslam to Psicosis gets two as Crazy saves him. Stevie works on Psicosis in the corner, he charges and gets crotched on the middle rope. Springboard moonsault by Crazy, then a top rope legdrop by Psicosis ends it after about 6 minutes? I'm not sure, I forgot to time it.
Analysis: * Pretty much what you expected from this. Like a TV tag.
Secret Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
My Pick: Eddie Guerrero
Long video package to start. Backstage, Rey talks to his son, 8 year old Dominic. He tells him there's nothing to be scared about and that he loves him. Eddie comes out first. Rey comes out next with his son by his side. He doesn't leap out of the sky because he's serious, tonight! Serious! Is Dominic getting paid for this performance? He's doing good! "Act sad, kid." They sit Dominic in a chair in front of the announce table. Eddie just does his evil stare. In the ring, he tells Rey to shake his hand so Dominic can see that they are friends. I guess Dominic doesn't watch Smackdown.
Rey clotheslines him twice, through the legs, springboard crossbody misses Eddie altogether. Rey rolls through with a cradle for two, then a backslide for two, then Mysterio hits his flipping reverse bulldog thingy for two. Some in the crowd chant "Let's Go Eddie" as the announcers rip on the people and Tazz calls them Canadian! Ha. Mysterio pounds on him in the corner, but Eddie counters with an inverted atomic drop as we get a close-up of the kid at ringside. Michael Jackson appreciates the Dominic shots. Yep, that's two MJ jokes. I can't help it. Guerrero gets crotched on the top, Rey comes off with a hurricanrana off the top for two. Mysterio goes up top, Guerrero crotches him in the corner so Rey's face is looking out to the crowd. Splash Mountain by Eddie, Rey counters with a headscissors. 619 for Rey hits, then a springboard senton gets him for just two. Camera in on Eddie who says "he almost beat me." Eddie walks over to Dominic. He walks over to Dominic, hugs him and puts him in front of himself to block Rey from hitting him. "Eddie Sucks" chant now. Rey goes down on a knee to gets Eddie to stop, then Eddie pounds him and Tazz calls him a "friggin asshole" with asshole not getting bleeped. Good idea, WWE, to make it more "real."
Eddie gets a backbreaker, then kicks Rey in the back a few times. Rey gets tossed outside, Eddie walks over to Dominic and smiles at Dominic, pinching him playfully on the cheek. Boots to Rey, then he chokes him neck first on the top rope. Whip into the ropes, Guerrero gets a reverse powerbomb slam type of deal. He gets a couple nearfalls, showing some fire while doing so. Mysterio gets choked while Eddie punches him in the back. Whip in, backbreaker attempt by Eddie countered into a cross body by Rey for two. Eddie with a backbreaker submission hold, continuing the work on the back. Rey tries to counter with a sunset flip, Eddie rolls through and slingshots Rey over the top to the floor. Eddie tries to be nice to Dominic, so Rey punches him from behind. Back in, into the ropes Rey gets a low dropkick and a kick to the face for just two. Springboard moonsault caught, Eddie goes to throw him, but Rey counters with a spinning DDT for two. Springboard dropkick sends Rey into the 619 position, he hits the 619, goes to drop the dime with the legdrop, but Eddie moves.
Guerrero gets a second wind now, dancing in delight as he hits the Three Amigos vertical suplexes. To the top, Rey rolls out of the way of a Frog Splash, so Eddie just comes down off the top. Another vertical suplex, then another and Rey is just limp on the ground. Eddie looks at Dominic, then hits a sick brainbuster. I love that move. To the top, Frog Splash hits. No cover immediately, as he taunts Dominic. Then he lays on top, Rey hooks his arms and gets the three count for the win after 16 minutes.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Post match, Guerrero starts arguing with some dude in a black hat at ringside. A plant? Probably. Nothing happens as Eddie walks up the ramp.
Analysis: ***3/4 Pretty good match. The crowd wasn't that hot during some of the nearfalls, but the wrestling was solid. I liked their match on Smackdown a month ago better than this, but this was still the usual solid effort from these two. Guerrero losing again makes me wonder where this is headed. Probably another match at Summerslam.
JBL cuts his usual promo, calling himself a Hall of Famer even. Well, if Nikolai Volkoff is then he's got a shot. He rips on the Buffalo Bills, even. Nothing like jokes that are 11 years old! At least my Michael Jackson ones are recent. I haven't made any OJ Simpson ones. Yet.
Bra & Panties Match: Torrie Wilson vs. Melina with Candice Michelle as Referee
My Pick: Torrie Wilson
Candice comes out first in some nice referee outfit. Melina is next and she no-sells her entrance, I guess because she is wearing some funky pants. Torrie "She's Still Employed" Wilson is out next. Hard lockup, Torrie shoves her out and Melina gets her with a hair toss, then Torrie with a headscissors type of thing. Abdominal stretch by Torrie and she uses that opportunity to take off Melina's top. It's red. I like red, and what's under the red. Melina kicks Torrie out of the ring, then Torrie is back in and Melina beats her up in there. She rips off her top, revealing her black bra. She chokes Torrie over the bottom rope, good camera work. Pants undoing is countered by Torrie as Melina goes for a straight choke. Torrie with a jawbreaker, Melina is on the outside, Torrie flips her over the top into the ring. Torrie with a drop kick, then a suplex and a roll through by Torrie. Torrie's got her by the hair and Melina uses momentum to put her throat first into the top rope. Melina takes off Torrie's pants. I lost track of time.
Post match, Melina smacks Candice in the back. Torrie saves her, then they double Melina and Candice rips off Melina's pants. After Melina bails, Candice takes off her ref shirt, showing her bra. I guess they're not sad about the loss.
Analysis: No star ratings for this. It was what you'd expect. Actually better in-ring work than I thought.
World Title: Batista vs. JBL
My Pick: Does it matter by this point? I say Batista, but don't be shocked if JBL wins by DQ to set up a triple threat for Summerslam.
Long video to start. JBL gets the big limo entrance being guided by cops on motorcycles. Batista is next out to a huge pop. He sticks the belt in Batista's face as he gets in the ring. Match is starting at 10:26pm, so they have about 20 minutes or so. I'm guessing there's blood and a table bump since there's been none of that.
Slow start as Batista overpowers him a couple times. JBL with a knee to the gut and a forearm to the back, then some fists in the corner. Whip into the corner, Batista comes out with a clothesline to take him down. Back in the ring, Batista gets a sideslam, then sticks his boot into JBL's throat while in the corner. JBL weighs 297 pounds apparently. I guess his manboobs got bigger. JBL fights out of the corner with a shoulderblock, he whips Batista in and eats a back bodydrop, then Batista hits a clothesline over the top to the floor. JBL gets the advantage, comes off the apron with something, Batista catches him and slams him down hard. In the ring, more punching. JBL counters with an eye rake, then whips him shoulder first into the steel post. Batista's out on the floor, JBL charges him and tackles him over the announce table. Crowd is pretty quiet for this, I have to say. The hole in the announce table is still there. JBL beats on him around there and comes off the announce table with a jumping fist to the head. Now the ref decides to count even though they've been out a good thirty seconds. He rolls him in for two.
JBL with a slingshot type move into the bottom rope. He drops a couple of elbows for just two. Crowd is dead quiet at this point. Whip into the ropes, sleeper by JBL. Yeah, give a dead crowd another reason to get dead. Nice move. Hey Cole, nobody believes a sleeper is a credible finisher. Stop trying. Long sleeper too, like a minute and a half. Crowd sort of wakes up. Batista counters the long sleeper with a back suplex as the ref counts them down. Batista's up, walks into JBL and JBL uses Batista's trunks to throw him out to the floor through the ropes. He rams Batista headfirst into the steps, then breaks the count. Into the steps again, then some punching and a whip into the post. Batista gets a boot up and clotheslines JBL over the barricade as they both go in the crowd. Back in the ring, high back elbow by Batista. Ref gets knocked over by JBL as he's going for the clothesline. Batista with a spinebuster.
Orlando Jordan comes out, Batista knocks him down. With the ref on the floor, OJ comes in from behind with a chairshot to the back. Boot to the face by JBL. OJ rolls the ref in, he counts slow for just two. Crowd isn't that into it considering it's a finishing sequence. Batista is up, he turns around and eats the Clothesline from Hell. No ref. This is like a Backlash repeat isn't it, with JBL playing the role of HHH. JBL charges in again, Batista with another Spinebuster on him. Orlando charges, Batista with a backdrop over the top to him. Shoulder tackles, then a driving powerslam. More Jordan, Batista slams him, then steals the chair and cracks Jordan with it. Then he cracks JBL in the head with the chair as the ref sees that. Batista is DQ'd. JBL's win guarantee is proven true as he wins by DQ, similar to Judgment Day against Eddie last year. Match was about 18 minutes.
Winner: JBL via DQ
Post-match, JBL is announced as the winner via DQ. He smiles. Batista comes back down to the ring, Batista Bomb on OJ and then on JBL. Then his music plays. End show.
Analysis: * Weak match. They didn't have a very good finish. The crowd was dead during a lot of it and the finish was something we've seen before in JBL matches. Nothing new or imaginative here.
No long final thoughts from me. This was a poor show, probably the worst of the year. It's either this or No Way Out and I'd say No Way Out was better because at least Cena/Angle was pretty good there.
Bad show with the only bright spot being Eddie/Rey, but even in that case they had a better match on free TV recently.
I wouldn't be surprised if the SS main event on Smackdown is Batista vs. JBL vs. Undertaker now.
Last month's Vengeance PPV was the best brand only PPV ever. This one might have been the worst. Smackdown is still the B show, as much as I hate to say it. This show gets a 2 out of ten from me.
This is probably my last live PPV. I may still do PPV recaps, but they won't be live. They will more likely be something where I post my thoughts on the PPV on a Monday rather than live on Sunday night.
Smell ya later,
John - firstname.lastname@example.org