WWE RAW Report (8/22/05) - Hampton, Virginia

So, what does RAW have in store for us tonight. The night after SummerSlam 2005? Well, here it is...

The show opens with a recap of SummerSlam, the winners and losers. Right down to the handshake between Hogan and HBK.

The first person out is HBK dressed poorly in black pants, a peachy/salmon shirt, yellow tie and tan stripped suit jacket. (A fashion sense that can only be described as color blindness.) HBK hates to admit that Hogan was the better man last night at SummerSlam. He says it was amazing. He said Hogan was nimble and cat-like last night. Hogan was superior to HBK at SummerSlam. (Where’s the heel going with this?) He gets all choked up. HBK says Hogan is on his way back to Tampa where HBK is here, as he is every night to give the fans what they want.
Then Chris Masters music hits. And he enters showing even more ego than usual. He seems to have taken on the Vinnie Mac strut! HBK stood in the ring trying not to laugh at Master’s entrance. Masters waggled his pectorals at HBK when he got in the ring.
Masters says he’s watched HBK since he was a kid, a little kid. He asks HBK how old he is and when he’s going to give it up. When’s HBK going to step down and pass the torch? HBK cut him off with a Hogan ‘Brother’ comment. HBK tells Masters he’s biting off more than he can chew. HBK going to give Masters some lessons. The problem with kids today is that they don’t know enough to know they don’t know.
HBK says he’s at the top of the ladder and Chris Masters is NOT at the top of the ladder. When your way up at the top the air gets a little thin. Masters comments that HBK’s hair looks a little thin up here - pointing to HBK’s hair.
HBK tries to jump Masters, but Masters gets the upper hand, for a moment. Then HBK thumped him and threw him out of the ring. Rather than getting back in and fighting like a man Masters stood on the outside and cussed out HBK.

Jericho out back talking to Bischoff about how Cena got lucky last night. Bisch agrees that Cena got lucky and that Jericho will be getting a rematch tonight. Not just for the WWE title, but in the first ever ‘You’re Fired Match’. Bisch will be ringside to fire Cena and crown Y2J the new champion. They hug over the idea, twice.

- Commercial

WWE Rewind - A recap of Angle beating Eugene at SummerSlam.

Kurt Angle enters to the obligatory ‘You Suck’ chants. Shelton Benjamin is his opponent. They lock up and Angle gets a wrist hold which is reversed by Benjamin. There’s a lot of mat work between the two technical wrestlers. They go back and forth with holds and reversals. That is until Angle breaks with the mat work with a boot to Benjamin’s gut. Angle lock on an Armbar. Benjamin uses the ropes to break the hold by bouncing off them. Benjamin locked on the Armbar. Angle tried to reverse it and throw a Suplex, but Benjamin lands on his feet. Angle tries to rush Benjamin who ducks and pulls down the top rope to send Angle sprawling outside.

- Commercial

When the show returns we see Angle throwing Benjamin back in the ring and locking Benjamin in an awkward looking Armbar with an arm around the neck. Benjamin escapes and tries to get in a corner and gets caught in a suplex. Angle goes for the pin, but Benjamin kicks out. Angle throws all technique to the wind and just starts beating down Benjamin.
After another failed three count by Angle he reverts to his mats skills using a Leg Scissors hold. Benjamin broke free and threw Angle into the corner post and followed it up with a Spine Buster. Both men were down for a seven count.
Benjamin nailed three clotheslines in a row. Angle counters with a forearm tot he face. Benjamin went for a Standing Dropkick but Angle held the ropes and avoided it. Angle tried to lock in the Ankle lock, but can’t get Benjamin flipped. Benjamin goes upstairs but Angle catches him in a Superplex.
Angle gets up and tries to suplex Benjamin, but Benjamin reverses it into a DDT. Benjamin can’t get the three count. Angle finally locks in the Ankle Lock in the center of the ring and Benjamin has to tap out.
Angle goes outside and grabs a chair. Benjamin rolls out of the ring and Angle climbs up on the chair and makes the ref put his gold metal around his neck.

- Winner: Kurt Angle
- Commercial

Outback shows Kerwin White in a golfcart talking about how he represents middle class America, he represents us. He talks about how Benjamin only got a polite applause because racism runs rampant in middle class America. That Shelton Benjamin will never be one of us because he’s not white. And if you’re not white you’re not right.

Outback is Maria walking along until she sees Snitsky who starts drooling over her feet. He does the little piggy goes to market thing. Just when he’s about to lick her toes Big Show puts his naked foot in the way. Show told Snitsky he was a pervert and to get lost. Snitsky left all disgruntled. Show told Maria she needed to be careful who she spoke to. She told him she would and thanked him. Maria then asked, in her ditzy blondish way, “What’s a pervert?” twirling her hair the whole time.

- Commercial

Enter Matt Hardy looking as pissed off as usual. He’s going to be facing The Conway who still looks as though he just escaped a Village People concert.
Before the match starts Edge’s music starts. Rob jumps Matt and starts working his head injuries from last night. Edge and Lita go to the announce table. They sit on the front of the table to watch the match. Good thing the announcers have monitors to watch. Edge says, “Matt Hardy may not die, but he is on life support.”
Rob keeps control of Hardy and locks in a headlock until Hardy hits a Sidewalk Slam. Rob goes for the Headlock, but Matt gets the Jawbuster. Matt nails Conway with many punches and knees to the gut. Hardy goes for a corner splash but Rob gets his feet up to Matt’s face. Rob goes to the top. Mat climbs up and they exchange punches until Matt gets tossed off. Rob Nails a Flying Elbow and gets the three count.
Edge leaves the announce table and attacks Matt in the ring. Lita stands outside the ring looking happier than she has in weeks. Matt was getting beaten down at first, then starts fighting back until Edge stuffs Matt’s head between the ring and the steel steps. Edge proceeds to kick the steps into the back of Matt’s head. Matt falls to the floor looking dazed and confused.

- Winner: Rob Conway
- Commercial

Carlito enters the ring for an episode of Carlito’s Cabana with special guest Ric Flair.
Carlito starts talking about his guest and the crowd stops booing and starts wooing. Flair comes out in a beautifully cut suit. (HBK should talk to Flair about fashion.) “Carlito’s Cabana welcome to Flair country,” are the first words out of Flairs mouth. For a heel he still gets great pop.
Carlito asks what’s up with the wooing. When he can’t woo well he says wooing isn’t cool. Carlito also talks about how Flair used to watch his father and Flair wrestle in the ring. How his father said Flair wasn’t very good, and Carlito agrees after seeing Flair in the ring tonight.
So what if Flair is a 16 time champion. Anyone can loose a title 16 times. But Carlito has never lost his title.
Carlito tells Flair he’s not cool. Flair says he’s not cool, he’s the Nature Boy! Flair then goes into his ‘wheelin’, dealin’ routine. He talks about how Carlito’s father told Flair he was ‘The King Of The Caribbean’ and how the ladies begged Flair for it ‘All Night Long’.
Carlito then spits his apple in Flair’s face. Flair proceeds to beat Carlito to a pulp. Carlito didn’t have a chance against Flair.

- Commercial

Slam of The Week shows the winner of the Diva search - Ashley.

Big Show enters the ring with even more fuzz on his head and some sideburns growing in too. Of course he’s facing Snitsky after what happened out back earlier.
Snitsky attacks Show with kicks to the gut. Snitsky gets a chop that throws him off. Show does his Sshhh and chest slap. Then does the same in another corner. The third corner Show nails Snitsky with a Headbutt. In the fourth corner is another Sshhh and chest slap.
Snitsky gets tossed from the ring. Show goes after Snitsky and nails the post with his right shoulder. Show rolls into the ring and Snitsky follows. Snitsky tries to attack that shoulder but Show fights back with a Suplex and an Armdrag. Show nails a couple of Clotheslines and tosses Snitsky out again.
Snitsky decides he’s had enough of this match and the Big Show and wanders up the ramp. Show yells at him to get back in the ring, but Snitsky just leaves. Show wins by count out, but doesn’t look happy about it.

- Winner: Big Show

Outback is Bisch telling a hooded man with the belt to cherish his last moment with the belt. Camera pans around to show Cena’s face. Cena turns around and asks Bisch if he said something. Before Bisch can respond Cena cuts him off and leaves.

- Commercial

Lance Cade and Trever Murdock do a cowboy promo for tagteam debut with WWE. (Even though it’s Garrison Cage as a new character.) Trever said, “they’re going to make their opponents squeal like pigs.” Guess they’re appealing to the drunken redneck and Deliverance demographics!

Torri Wilson enters with Candace Michelle enter, but they belong on Smackdown! (I’ve been wondering what was going to happen to Torri since WWE got rid of her husband Billy Kidman.) They enter the ring in quite a provocative way. Torri announces that they’ve been traded to RAW. There first thing to do is to introduce the new Diva - Ashley. Ashley enters the ring in a punk outfit.
Ashley is so happy she won. Candace and Torri start cutting Ashley down, covertly. Candace pulls on Ashley’s top then Torri kicks Ashley in the gut with her high heeled shoes. The two of them beat Ashley down. Just like what they did to Christy when she first started - The welcome to the show bitch beat down. Guess Candace and Torri are now heels.

- Commercial

Recap of the HBK and Hogan SummerSlam match, again.

Recap of HBK and Master in the ring earlier in the show. Next week is HBK in the Masterlock Challenge.

Outback Todd interviews Y2J about the ‘Your Fired Match’. Jericho talks about how he doesn’t loose money matches like this and Cena will be in the breadline tomorrow.

Bisch comes down the ring with 4 security guards. They actually look like real security, not like dressed up wrestlers.

- Commercial

Jericho comes out first. (This makes me wonder if Y2J really did renew his contract as he’s been saying.) Bisch stands in the ring applauding Jericho.
Cena comes down to huge pop, biggest of the night. Cena is bouncing around and seems really pumped for this match.
The ref actually pats down both wrestlers. They usually only do that when HHH is wrestling. The two go face to face in the center of the ring when Jericho bitch slaps Cena. Cena plows Jericho into the corner.
Cena nails Jericho with an Armdrag. Cena goes to bounce off the ropes and Bischoff grabs his ankle. This gives Jericho a chance to recover. Jericho gets the upper hand with Suplexes and punches. Cena gets back to his feet and gets an elbow to the chin for his troubles. Jericho nails another Suplex then puts Cena in the corner and starts kicking him over and over in the gut.
Jericho tries to do a flying splash on Cena in the corner. Cena side steps and Jericho goes flying out of the ring, over the ring post, landing wrong on his left knee.
Cena climbs out of the ring, but Bischoff gets in between Cena and Jericho. Cena finally gets to Jericho and tosses him in the ring. As Cena’s about to jump in the ring when Bisch drives his knee into Cena’s gut. Cena turns around and chases Bischoff. Cena grabs Bischoff. When the ref isn’t looking Bisch nails Cena with a groin shot.

- Commercial

Jericho is ripping at Cena’s face as the show returns. During the break Jericho had Cena choked on the 2nd rope and Bisch bitch slapped Cena.
Cena tried to fight back with a Suplex, but it didn’t take him far. Jericho backed Cena into a corner and started to punch and kick Cena in the head.
Cena gets out of the corner, but doesn’t have much fight in him. Jericho goes for the pin, but doesn’t get the three. Jericho tried again for the pin, but Cena reversed it to an Inside Cradle and almost got the fall. Jericho put Cena up top in the corner and went for a Superplex. Cena fought back and threw Jericho off the top. Cena then went for a Crossbody, but Jericho rolled out of the way.
Jericho took advantage and tried to get a pin with his feet on the ropes, the ref didn’t even count. Cena starts to fight back. They exchange punches. Cena nails Jericho with a Shoulder Block and then a quick Clothesline followed by another Clothesline. Cena then gets Jericho with a Reverse Elbow in the corner. After an Irish Whip Cena goes for another Reverse Elbow, but gets a boot to the face. Cena goes for the FU, but Jericho fights his way out of it.
Chris locks in the Walls Of Jericho. Cena fights over to the ropes, but Bisch pulls the ropes out of his reach. Jericho pulls Cena to the middle again. Cena again fights to the ropes and get the break. Cena gets Jericho up and stumbles around the ring before nailing the FU. Cena goes for the pin, but Bisch puts Jericho’s foot on the ropes.
When Cena and the ref weren’t looking Bisch gave Jericho a set of brass knuckles. Jericho punches Cena with the brass knuckles then throws them out of the ring. Jericho goes for the pin, but Cena kicks out. Jericho tries again for the pin, but Cena manages to kick out again. Jericho stomps around the ring and Bischoff climbs up on the apron with the title belt. The ref starts fighting with Bisch while Jericho starts punching Cena. Cena grabs Jericho’s ankles and flips him into Bischoff tossing him off the apron. Jericho staggers back into the center of the ring and a waiting Cena. Cena nails his second FU and pins Jericho for the win.

Bischoff climbs in the ring and fires Jericho. Y2J begs for another chance, but Bisch again tells him he’s fired. Jericho gets down his knees and begs. Bisch tells him he doesn’t care about him, his wife or his kids. Bisch calls security into the ring to get Jericho out of the ring. Security drags Jericho from the ring as the crowd sings, “Na na na na na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.”
Cena stands in the ring trying to get his bearings and Angle attacked Cena from behind with a Suplex. Angle completely beats Cena down all over the ring, complete with Angle Slam, until Bischoff tells Cena that Angle is the new number one contender. Angle picks up Cena’s belt and starts drooling over it.

Biggest Pop
Cena
Flair
Jericho getting fired
Matt Hardy
Big Show

Biggest Heat
Jericho
HBK
Edge & Lita
Carlito
Bischoff