The John Report: The Smackdown Deal for Aug. 7/09 (Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk)
Welcome to this special edition review of Smackdown for this week. I was intrigued by the Jeff Hardy/CM Punk title match, so I thought I should review it the way I do Raw every week. Plus, Raw was so brutal this week that I needed to wash the taste out of my mouth with a good wrestling show. Smackdown usually fits that bill. I realize that "The Smackdown Deal" doesn't have the same ring to it that The Raw Deal has, but what can you do? This will be a rundown of the show similar to the Raw Deal, but it won't be as long because it's Saturday, I have a bit of a hangover and that's enough of a reason for me.
Taped from Long Island, New York here's the Smackdown Deal…
CM Punk talks before Punk vs. Hardy
We start out with a video from last week's great Hardy/Morrison match (**** by the way) and then CM Punk joins us in the ring before we could see his beatdown of Jeff Hardy last week. During his promo, he then played the video of his beatdown of Jeff. He's classy like that. He went on his preaching routine telling us that you're weak if you drink alcohol (guilty), some cigarettes (nope) or smoke "funny cigarettes" meaning pot (nope), which drew boos from the crowd. Well, at least they didn't show shots of kids during this. He claimed that one drink equals alcoholism to him. He then said if you think Triple H is the best wrestler in the world then you're a moron. Okay so he didn't say that, but I wanted to give a shout out to the geniuses at Pro Wrestling Illustrated. The moral of the story is it takes a strong person to be straight edge like him while a weak person like Jeff Hardy (and all the fans watching because he assumes nobody watching is straight edge) has vices to bring him down. And we, the fans, like Hardy because we have similar vices. I think it's important to note that Punk gets booed for his cheap tactics and for preaching to fans, not because he's anti-drugs. It's all in the message. Nobody likes a preacher.
Jeff Hardy comes out, they brawl right away and security breaks it up immediately. Hey, there's Dean Malenko and Mike "IRS" Rotundo helping to break it up along with others. Here's Teddy Long too and then crazy Vince McMahon. He reminds Teddy he's still on probation because he's doing a bad job of making Smackdown terrible like Raw is (okay he didn't say that). He announces that there'll be a special guest enforcer for Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk later on and we would have to wait to find out. Odds on it being Dr. Ken from Raw? Zero, but I'm sure Vince thought he was hilarious.
By the way, this opening segment is far more effective than having a celebrity GM come out, talk for ten minutes and build to something later in the show that puts that person over more than the actual talent. This gives promo time to a talent that deserves it (Punk), it builds up a feud that will carry over to a show that people will pay to see (Summerslam) and it makes you want to stay tuned in for the main event to see what will happen when the title is on the line (World Title match). This is much better than the usual on Raw.
John Morrison d. Tyson Kidd (**3/4)
This was another very good TV match (I gave their Superstars match from last week a ***3/4 rating) between two guys with incredibly bright futures. In Morrison's case it's about the immediate future while Kidd will continue to hone his craft part of The Hart Dynasty, which I love. I liked the action here with both guys showing a lot at a very fast pace. It's hard to be so crisp in executing moves at a fast pace, but these two are great at it. They have also developed incredible chemistry. There were plenty of counters like the pretty powerbomb by Morrison to lead to the finish. The Starship Pain (I'm not crazy about that name) he hit for the win was off a little bit because he really hammered Tyson in the head with his knee. Oh well, part of the business. Why can't Raw have a 12 minute match featuring the athleticism of two younger wrestlers? I have no idea. Matches like this win fans over.
Word Up time. Pretenda is the incorrectly spelled word. That's nice.
Slam Master J d. Charlie Haas (1/4*)
Hey look, a white guy trying to act like he's street. I guess it's supposed to be funny. The crowd was dead for this. They didn't even bother to pipe in some noise. They broke up a tag team people liked in Jesse & Festus so Jesse could do this while Festus does nothing? Great long term planning there. By the way, Slam Master J is a bad name, but it's not as bad as Grandmaster Sexay.
I don't usually like Aerosmith, but the "You Gotta Move" song is growing on me every time they hype Summerfest…err Summerslam.
Dolph Ziggler d. Finlay, Mike Knox and R-Truth (**)
I think Ziggler going over was the right move. He had a good match with Rey at Night of Champions, so I'd like to see more from them and now we'll get it at Summerslam. Hopefully they get chances on the house shows to build that chemistry. I liked how it was booked too, with Finlay cheating by using the shillelagh behind the ref's back only to be caught by Ziggler in his finisher. Works for me. Post match the mini brawl with Mysterio jumping onto Ziggler was fun too. I liked this segment.
Backstage, the WWE Divas that speak like 12 year old girls had a conversation. Melina is best friends with Maria apparently. She's happy that Maria's with Dolph (even though she didn't go to the ring with him), but she warned her about him. Maria says he's a different guy outside the ring. Please turn Melina heel. I assume this was done to turn Maria heel, but Melina's the one that needs to be in a different role because she's brutal as a face especially in promos.
JTG d. Chris Jericho (*3/4)
This was fun and a shining example of why Chris Jericho's the best in the business. You think HHH would lose clean in a singles match to a tag wrestler? No, he does it in a handicap match while getting pinned after taking two finishers. Jericho loses on a rollup to a guy he should never lose to based on his status in the company. By losing to JTG, it gives Cryme Tyme some credibility heading into Summerslam, which is what they need. I'm perfectly fine with this.
The Great Khali d. Ricky Ortiz (DUD)
The match was under a minute, Khali won. I don't mind short matches for Khali. Post match, Kane came out, beat up Ranjan Singh (Khali's interpreter friend who is actually on the WWE creative team) and hauled him into the backstage area. Oh, the intrigue. Not really. I don't want to see Kane vs. Khali ever, but it's probably happening at Summerslam. Can't win 'em all.
Jeff Hardy d. CM Punk to retain the World Title (***)
Special enforcer? Matt Hardy. I like it. He came out, he showed no emotion on his face and when Jeff got introduced Matt never looked him in the eye. What was with the right side of Matt's face? Either it was swollen or an awful sunburn. Good intensity in the match, as expected. I liked the psychology of Punk working over the ribs of Hardy throughout. Beautiful superplex by Punk. That's one of my favorite spots in wrestling. In the 80s it was a finishing move. Now it's always a good nearfall. Things turned later when Punk accidentally hit Matt Hardy with a sliding dropkick after Jeff moved. Twist of Fate for Jeff, the Swanton missed because Punk got the knees up and just as it looked like Punk was going to win, Matt pulled the ref out. It wasn't a babyface turn for Matt. It was more about getting revenge on Punk for kicking him even though it was an accident. Jeff rolled up Punk, Matt came into the ring and counted the three for his brother. That probably wasn't what people were expecting, which is great. It adds to the story.
Post match was great, even better than last week. Matt simply walked to the back while Punk threw his usual tantrum after a loss. Then he beat the crap out of Jeff again. He threw Jeff's head into the announce table multiple times, then drilled him in the back with a chair. Next up was a cuddly moment when he put the chair around the neck of Hardy and rammed him into the post with it. Teddy Long came back out. Punk was bitching about Matt Hardy costing him the title. Long awarded Punk with another title match at Summerslam if Hardy can recover in a TLC match. I guess they're going to get their money's worth from what appears to be Jeff's last show, huh? I have to say that if that match delivers the goods like I think it will then it might surpass Jericho vs. Mysterio as the feud of the year. I've loved Punk vs. Hardy. Very good start to it and the execution has been excellent since.
The show ended with EMTs tending to Hardy, putting him in a neckbrace immediately because that's the first impulse of EMTs in wrestling. I find it a bit odd that security breaks up a brawl with Punk vs. Hardy earlier in the show, yet later on the show when a man has a chair around his throat nobody sees fit to help the guy until AFTER he gets "seriously injured." I don't like inconsistencies like that. I know it's nitpicking because this was done to further the angle, but it's hard for me to just look past it.
Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk – He's really found a niche as a heel, which isn't a surprise to me.
2. Matt Hardy – Good to see him back. Should be cleared to wrestle again in a few weeks.
3. John Morrison - Continues to impress.
Rating: 7 (out of 10)
This was another typically good Smackdown show. It started out with a bang by having Punk show disrespect to everybody, there were plenty of solid midcard matches that were booked correctly and it ended with a very strong main event match that makes me want to see more. They should keep Hardy and Punk away from eachother until Summerslam. Have Jeff sell the injuries. Let the tension between them build without having them wrestle every week. Then you toss in the return of Matt Hardy. Could his actions this week lead to a babyface turn for him after Jeff loses the belt and leaves, or is he going to stay as a heel? Plenty of possibilities there.
The other highlights on the show are the ascent of John Morrison. His promos have been brutal most weeks, but you can't deny the in ring talent. My advice is keep his promo time limited. Let him get over by shining in the ring as he has done since moving to Smackdown. My only worry is they don't have a real feud for him, so he might not be on the Summerslam card. That's inexcusable especially because he was off Night of Champions too. He's earned the right to be on PPVs, so get him out there. The other good thing that happened was that Jericho's loss to JTG lets me know that they actually care about the tag belts again. I want to see Jerishow vs. Cryme Tyme now even though I'm pretty sure Jerishow is going to win. The point is the win by JTG over Jericho did wonders in terms of making me believe that they have a chance now.
Let's compare this show to Raw. You had two matches going over 11 minutes, two matches that went between 6 to 8 minutes and only two backstage segments. On Raw two weeks ago we didn't even have one match reach 7 minutes and the average edition of Raw has four or five backstage segments that are essentially time killers. On Smackdown this week we had three "guy falls to the floor leading to a commercial break" spots. Raw gets one of those per week, if that. Meanwhile, the ending to this show makes you want to see the good guy beat the bad guy at Summerslam because the bad guy attacked him in a cheap manner. The ending to this week's Raw makes you think that the good guy in the title match is fighting against two actors that were the centers of attention on the show instead of the actual WWE champion. That right there sums up Raw's problems pretty succinctly, in my view.
Why book the shows so that one is consistently good while the other appears as if it was written on a napkin ten minutes before the show starts? I don't understand the reasoning. Are fans really paying ridiculous amounts of money to watch the video screen to see the time wasting backstage skits that happen regularly on Raw or do they want to see actual in ring action? I'll venture to guess that they want wrestling. As a TV viewer I want the same thing.
To the people that don't watch Smackdown because it's on Fridays I have some advice for you. Find a way to see it. I use a DVR and I watch it on Saturday morning because I try to get out of the house most Fridays just like everybody else. If you don't have that, tape it (do people use VCR's anymore?), watch it online at wwe.com (click on TV shows, then Smackdown), download it or find it on youtube if it's on there. The point is don't let the day of the week be an excuse for missing out on the best weekly show in WWE. Chances are if you're out on Friday you're doing nothing on Saturday anyway, so watch it then. It's good hangover television.
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This won't be a weekly review from me. One per week is enough. I'd rather spend my time writing other, bigger columns, one of which will look at the history of Summerslam in a way that I feel is different than most. That will get posted before Summerslam most likely.
I appreciate any feedback you can give so please send me your thoughts at oratoryjohn@gmail.com about anything related to WWE past or present. If you add me on facebook (just head to Facebook.com/thejohnreport) you'll see the links to my columns as well because I post them there just as soon as I post them on this website. I'm pretty active on there as my Facebook friends can attest, so add me as a friend and ask away with the questions or start up discussions on your own. I'm not on Twitter yet. Soon.
See you on Tuesday for the next Raw Deal. It's hosted by Sgt. Slaughter and in my home country of Canada. A heel GM perhaps? It would be a nice change.
Smell ya later,
John Canton - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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