The John Report: Talking Smack for 10/16/09 (Plus thoughts on Shane McMahon)
Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE's Friday broadcast, Smackdown. Also included in this recap is a special message to Mickie James that I will post after I run through Smackdown. Before I begin, I had some thoughts on Shane McMahon's resignation that I wanted to share.
Shane McMahon resigns from WWE effective January 1, 2010
I woke up Friday, I logged on to wwe.com and I saw a picture of Shane McMahon saying that he had resigned. Weird, isn't it? You'd think that Vince's only son (sorry Hornswoggle) would be in the family business for life. Guess not. I'm not sure if there's more to the story. Is it possible that Shane is upset that Vince took over Linda's job while she's campaigning for a senate seat rather than give it to Shane? I think it's very possible. Maybe Shane feels he's undervalued. Or maybe, just maybe, the guy wants to get out of his father's shadow and do his own thing, whatever that may be. He has two kids with a third on the way, so it would definitely make sense to want to have a job where he's closer to home more often and be with his young family.
Over the years I've always read that Shane was similar to his mother personality wise while Stephanie was always more like Vince. It makes sense considering Stephanie works on the creative side with Vince (insert jokes here) while Shane's always been on the business side with Linda. Shane's been key in bringing in a lot of the pop culture celebrities that WWE has used over the years with professional boxers Mike Tyson in 1998 and Floyd Mayweather Jr. a couple years ago. Both of those moves were credited to Shane and they were both considered huge successes. He's never been that involved in creative the way Stephanie (and Hunter the McMahon Family Avenger) has been.
Is there more to this story? Probably. I don't know for sure, though. I know people will start rumors about him joining TNA or something like that, but I highly doubt that. This is not a wrestling angle. It's not Shane "buying" WCW, which had the potential to be the biggest storyline ever and turned out to be a huge bust in the long run. This is the guy legitimate leaving the company. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw him on TV again before the end of the year just as a way to say goodbye. Plus, this is wrestling. And it's his family business. At some point for some reason he'll be back in some capacity. When? How? Why? I don't have the answers. Don't even know if he does. It's wrestling, though. They always come back eventually.
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Taped from Lexington, Kentucky let's talk some smack...
- I really liked that they honored Captain Lou Albano with a picture. I would have liked a video package of some sort, but maybe they will do that on Raw. If not, I understand. He's one of those larger than life figures from my youth that anybody that grew up in the 80s can relate to. Not only was he big in wrestling, but in the "Girls just wanna have fun" video with Cyndi Lauper he played a major part as the dad. That was one of the most iconic music videos ever at a time when music videos had a lot of influence on pop culture. Now? Nobody cares about music videos. Back then, it was huge. I also remember his role on the Super Mario Brothers show as a kid. The guy looked like Mario's dad. Perfect casting! And of course his impact in wrestling was huge. He was a great talker who put over the talent he was managing. He was one of those guy who when you think about all you can really do is smile because he made you laugh. RIP Captain Lou. Thanks for the memories.
- No Jim Ross this week. Was away for his anniversary. Good for him. Michael Cole replaced him. Unlike on Raw he wasn't produced to be a douchebag, so he was bearable.
- Teddy Long started the show. Just like last week, piped in cheers were present although not as bad as last week. He introduced Team Smackdown's captain, Chris Jericho. He spouted on about DX, ripping apart their book that they "wrote." Yeah, as if they wrote it. Kane came out, he said he was co-captain of Team Smackdown and Jericho, in perfect kiss ass form, said of course you are. Then Kane said Raw's team can go up in flames and he did his pyro thing that he's done for 12 years. Not a great segment. Even Jericho can't save the lame 7 on 7 match, I'm afraid.
Dolph Ziggler d. Finlay & Mike Knox in a triple threat to make Team Smackdown (*1/2)
In case your wondering, the Dolph/Maria crappy angle was ended last week because Maria's on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice probably because Trump and Vince cut a deal. I can't wait for them to promote her as a wrestler the same way people think Stacy Keibler is a wrestler. They try to wrestle. There's a difference. Anyway, the Dolph/Maria story was handled as bad as anything they've done this year, so good riddance to it. Romance angles should be the easiest things to write and WWE has no idea how to do it right, apparently. Predictably, Dolph won the match. For the finish, the blind ref missed Finlay hitting Knox with the shillelagh, which led to Dolph sneaking in to score the pinfall. I've seen better from all these guys.
Cryme Tyme d. The Hart Dynasty to make Team Smackdown (*)
Why why why? I have no idea. The Hart Dynasty are too good to be off another PPV. I read in an article this week that JTG stands for "Just Too Good." I thought it might be initials in his name or something like that. Nope. Just too good. At one point Smith went for an ankle lock. I was like, huh? What's with the ankle locks all of a sudden? Cryme Tyme won clean in about 3 minutes. I don't really agree with the decision although I guess Team Smackdown needs some babyfaces.
- Backstage, my guy Jericho was talking to Michelle McTaker about how important it was for Smackdown to win Bragging Rights. She said she can beat any diva. Right on cue, my girl Mickie James-Canton showed up. I have plenty more on her later, I promise. She basically told Michelle she can win for Smackdown because she's beat everybody on Raw. You go girl! Seriously, go to my house. Michelle did her "I'm better than you" look, which is really her only look and then bumped into Beth. She acted a bit scared of Beth. I could see Beth becoming a face. They did Mickie vs. Michelle on the house shows in Mexico the last couple of days, so that seems to be where they're headed next.
- Backstage, Punk walked into Vince. He bitched about not getting his rematch in singles. Vince granted him the match next week against Undertaker for the title with Scott Armstrong as ref and Teddy Long at ringside in a Submission Match just like at Breaking Point. They're hinting at the same kind of finish as before. I don't see it happening. Undertaker's keeping the belt.
Eric Escobar d. Matt Hardy to make Team Smackdown (*)
"Escobarrrrrrrrrrrrr!" That's the start of his music. It went three minutes. Vickie got on the apron, that distracted the ref and Eric won by shoving Matt shoulder first into the ring post. Yes, that actually got a pin on somebody. Matt Hardy has gone from having good, competitive matches with CM Punk to losing in three minutes to the new guy. Wow. They really must not like Matt Hardy. The guy with one match is representing Smackdown. Amazing.
- They had a fairly long Dirt Sheet segment with Morrison and Miz sitting center ring. It was good. Not pretty pretty good, but still good. They had a Mork and Mindy reference? Why? I'm the same age as Miz & Morrison and I barely know who they are. They mentioned teams breaking up with only one guy having success. What about Edge & Christian? I know Christian hasn't had as much success as Edge, but both are very good. My bad for asking questions. Anyway, they obviously mentioned the Rockers and Morrison called Miz "Jannetty." I would say Morrison is very similar to Shawn Michaels in terms of being a great worker, but neither has the drug problems that Jannetty had, which was his downfall. Michaels had a drug problem too, but he still thrived. Morrison also said Miz looked "husky." Compared to Morrison he does. The best line was Morrison saying Raw was like a cheap version of SNL these days. It's true. And SNL isn't funny either. Morrison wanted to fight, Miz backed down and they ended it with Morrison calling him Jannetty again. I give credit to WWE for using Morrison to promo this way because he's a lot better talking to somebody right there then he is projecting to the crowd. Miz is much more natural in terms of promos, but Morrison's better in ring. Both have bright futures and I like that they've kept them apart since the split six months ago. I'm thinking Morrison wins at the PPV, though.
Drew McIntyre d. R-Truth via countout to make Team Smackdown (**)
If you don't like McIntyre all I can say is sucks to be you. Why? Because according to the Wrestling Observer, Triple H and Michaels apparently like his look and his in-ring style. He'll be getting a big push. The match was solid. They got about eight minutes. I liked the story of McIntyre working on Truth's back and shoulders in an aggressive manner. The finish made sense. Truth was so hurt that he couldn't get back in the ring to continue. It probably means another match between these two, which is fine.
- Batista and Rey talked backstage. It's nice of Batista to do something else backstage other than hit on the chicks. Yes folks, there's your weekly "Batista loves the ladies" joke. They mentioned their match later and Rey pointed out that brothers fight all the time, so it's no big deal.
- They ran down the Bragging Rights card:
Cena vs. Orton in the Ironman for the title where if Cena loses he's going to Smackdown. He's not losing.
The 7 Raw guys (Hunter the McMahon Family Avenger, HBK, Kool-Aid Henry, Swagger, Kofi, Big Show and Rhodes) vs. 7 SD guys (Jericho, Kane, Escobar, McIntyre, Cryme Tyme and Ziggler), which I guess is one fall. Morrison vs. Miz. I pick Morrison.
There's also some divas match that has yet to be determined because the writing team isn't smart, sexy or powerful enough to plan ahead. The Raw chicks will win.
- They showed a video package about the match from Breaking Point. No mention of the Undertaker winning the belt in clean fashion three weeks later in the cell, of course.
- Undertaker talked. He said Satan, he said death and he said soul. He got his words in. PG entertainment, baby!
Rey Mysterio d. Batista (**)
Batisterio explodes! Kind of. They went about nine minutes. It was alright. The story was Batista was apprehensive about hurting his friend because he's a big softie that loves his "little brother." They settled into their usual offense with Rey using his feet for offense, which pissed Batista off. He used his power. Rey fought back, he hit the 619 and went for the hurricanrana. Batista countered it, looked like he was going to hit the Batista bomb and Rey countered that into a hurricanrana (not the smoothest one since Dave is so big) and got the pinfall. The story was that Batista's right arm was off the mat, but the ref didn't really see it because he was on the left side. That's a relatively clean loss for Batista, which ties in nicely with his countout loss to Punk last week.
Post match, after they hugged and all was good between them Batista went up the ramp. As he did that, Punk came in, gave the GTS to Rey and then bailed when Batista ran down to the ring. Well, Batista and running doesn't really happen. It was more like a light jog. The dude might tear something. The show ended with Batista and Rey hugging it out.
I really like the slow heel turn they're doing for Batista. His mannerisms are good. He felt bad about hitting Rey and that cost him the match. Once he loses the title match at the PPV he'll have lost three in a row and that could lead to a beatdown of Rey, who is the perfect candidate because he's such a sympathetic, underdog babyface that the crowd always gets behind. I am so ready for heel Batista because I'm so tired of face Batista.
Three Stars of the Show
1. Rey Mysterio - I liked the match and the story they told in the ring.
2. Batista - Same as above.
3. Drew McIntyre - Maybe the hype is worthy. I was impressed.
Rating: 5 (out of 10)
Last week: 6.5
The show was just average. I can't say I care too much about the 7 on 7 tag that they're promoting. What's on the line? Bragging rights. Wow. They should make it more meaningful by having the seven guys on the winning team get the last seven spots in the Royal Rumble. This is WWE, though. They only think ahead one PPV at a time. Or what if the winning team gets to bring somebody from the other team to their show, which can be seen as a loss for the losing side? That would work too. Instead, all they get are bragging rights. Big fucking deal. The Raw side is winning, by the way. Morrison will win, the Raw girls win whatever match they're doing and Team Raw will win because that's the show they care about the most. If they wanted the 7 on 7 match to be really impactful they'd do something where McIntyre pinned Triple H for his team to win. Of course that isn't happening.
It will be interesting to see how Punk vs. Undertaker is booked. Obviously Undertaker's keeping the belt. My guess is Punk taps clean because Long and Armstrong are too scared to piss off Undertaker again. The overlying storyline with Vince McMahon isn't going to be out there in the forefront yet, but it's coming.
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Dear Mickie With Love
Back to Mickie. This is important. Due to Maria Menounos completely no-selling my Twitter messages and plugging the work of other people that relationship is over. I'm fully committed to Mickie James again, who I will refer to as Mickie James-Canton.
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I'll be back on Tuesday for the Raw Deal. If you're a NFL fan check out my weekly picks column at the Sports Oratory located right here.
Thanks for reading. Have a vintage weekend full of smart, sexy and powerful divas. Or something.
Smell ya later,
John Canton - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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