This week's Raw was a commercial free show for everybody except people like me in Canada. I'm not sure why The Score, the network that broadcasts WWE here in Canada, was unwilling to go without commercials. I guess that's a way of making money, but you would think that they'd be able to do it for this one week. Basically what I missed are some of the backstage segments or sponsor breaks that were part of the show. What I'll do is look at a recap, see what I may have missed and then I'll let you know if I saw that specific part. I'll put in a (DNS) for the parts I didn't see, which means Did Not See. I saw everything in the arena. Missed most of backstage. Maybe that made for a better show.
I threw this in the last SD recap. I'll put it here too in case some of you didn't see it. People always ask me if I'm on any messenger programs because they want to chat with me. I put them at the bottom, but I guess people are too lazy to read all the way until the end. I use Trillian a lot, even at work sometimes for 20 or 30 minutes when I get bored, so you can catch me on the following messenger programs: Yahoo: thejohnreportnet@yahoo.com (on there the most), GoogleTalk: oratoryjohn@gmail.com (rare), AOL: OratorJC (on there second most), MSN: oratoryjohn@hotmail.com (rare). I'm not on all the time, but if you see me there I'll talk to ya. Add me if you want. I'm nice. If I didn't want to talk, I would avoid logging on. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the show.
Live from Toronto, Ontario this is the Raw Deal...
Guitar riff and it's Bret Hart to start. What a great ovation he got. If this was the Toronto crowd of 5 or 6 years ago there'd be way less kids and more people there to give him the ridiculous pop he really deserved. It was still very good, though. He came out to say that even though Miz challenged him for the US title this week he wasn't going to take the match because of his physical condition. Chris Jericho came out. I had a markgasm, I guess you could say. Two greats in the ring together. Jericho ripped Bret, calling him a has been and said that he now is the best there is, was and ever will be which drew tremendous heat. That was great. Jericho tried to get him to take the match against Miz, so when he said that his father would be ashamed of him that's when Bret was willing to do it. Jericho said they should make it a no DQ match. Bret said he wouldn't want it any other way. The match was on for later. This made it a predictable ending because you knew the Hart Dynasty was going to interfere to help Bret win. Oh well. I still marked out for the site of Hart & Jericho cutting a promo together. Oh and one other thing? Bret said WWF at one point. That's a win in my book.
(DNS) Some WWEshop.com commercial with Hornswoggle and Great Khali. I don't feel like I lost anything.
Edge came out to cut a promo saying he's not going let Orton RKO everybody. It was a pick your poison night, so Orton picked Edge's opponent.
Edge d. Christian (***1/2)
Holy shit I marked the fuck out again! My boys. First time I saw these two was in the indies here in Ontario back in 1997, a full year before they started in the WWF. As anybody with a brain knows, they are not really brothers, but WWE called them brothers from 1998 until the mid 2000s and then they suddenly became "friends since grade six," which is what they really are. So if you remember them as brothers, stop thinking. We're not allowed to remember anymore. The match was really solid with a hot crowd. It was booked evenly with each guy getting close to hitting their finish, but neither one being able to do it. The announcers actually did a good job in this match for a change by bringing up how well they know eachother and how it made for a more back and forth encounter. Predictably, Edge got the win with the Spear after 14 minutes. You knew he was winning, as he should. I would have liked to see this match get announced beforehand just because I think there's enough interest in it that they could bring in viewers by saying it's Edge vs. Christian this week on Raw. I understand why they didn't. Sometimes advertising a match like this beforehand is a good thing. Anyway, this is the WWE TV match of the year at ***1/2 for me. Am I biased? Probably. These are my guys. Damn right I'm biased. Let's see this one again on PPV down the road.
After the match, Orton got on the Titantron to say that Christian isn't his opponent. This guy is. Cue the Undertakaer. He slowly made his way out there. Edge bailed. Ref counted to ten. Undertaker won. Christian rolled Edge back in, Undertaker gave him a chokeslam and everybody loved it. Even in his hometown Edge was able to get booed very loudly. It was a fun way to end the segment.
Backstage, diva segment time with Maryse ripping on Trish Stratus. No sign of Trish there although I'll assume she was backstage. Eve came in, dumped some powder on her and they had a cat fight.
(DNS) Buzz with his wife and Vickie. Told Vickie new GM next week.
Mark Henry came out, Batista attacked him with some 2x4 wood, broke it over his back and beat the shit out of him around ringside. He ended it by throwing him into the ring steps. Then eh asked for the spotlight to do some posing. The highlight of all this was Batista calling Mark "KOOL AID~!" like I have done for over a year now. Fantastic.
(DNS) Sponsor segment with Dibiase. That's nice.
Ted Dibiase d. Yoshi Tatsu (*)
Dibiase came out with Virgil. Yes, that Virgil. He looks in decent shape for somebody that's not on TV all the time. Tatsu got some good offense in. The problem is he's never on TV, so the crowd doesn't even react to his decent moves. They know it's a squash. After three minutes, Ted won with Dream Street. Post match, he mentioned the match against R-Truth at Over The Limit on Sunday and how Virgil would be in his corner. No sign of Truth in the arena.
(DNS) Plugging Punk vs. Mysterio.
(DNS) The Miz grabbing a microphone and walking to the ring. I'd rather see that then the Dibiase/Tatsu match or the diva segment. I guess it's not up to me, huh?
Bret Hart d. The Miz to become the US Champion (1/2*)
Not much of a match, obviously. Miz announced he hired some help to combat the Hart Dynasty since he knew they would interfere. His hired goons (Simpsons reference!) were Kozlov & Regal, who turned out to be the worst hired goons in the history of the world. THD came out, they brawled with them for like a minute and then they got back to ringside. Jericho helped Miz corner Bret, though. Natalya then stepped up with a slap to Jericho. Miz had Hart ready for the Sharpshooter when Kidd came in with a springboard dropkick to take him out. DH Smith came back, they did the Hart Attack and then Bret finished him off with the Sharpshooter to a huge pop. Crowd went nuts for it. It was booked great. Bret's the new US Champ I guess. I smell a tournament coming.
(DNS) Santino did a "most interesting man in the world" spoof. I'm sure it was great. I'll see it tomorrow.
Michelle, Layla & Maryse d. Eve & Bella Twins (1/2*)
Why are two Smackdown girls on Raw? No idea. Layla's definitely improved in ring while the Bellas continue to add nothing in ring. Maryse pinned a Bella (I don't even care which one) with her DDT to add heat to their PPV match on Sunday. I'd say Eve is winning on Sunday.
Backstage, Cena did a long promo where he did a lot of talking quietly before RAISING HIS VOICE followed by a normal voice and then SOME RANDOM YELLING to end it. You know, vintage Cena. I miss when he was allowed to be funny. At least a little.
Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger ended up in a No Contest (*1/2)
Hey look, another Smackdown guy on the show without much explanation. The word of the week seems to be "poison" since they said it so many times to get over the pick your poison stips. This wasn't a great match by any means. It had no flow to it. There was a point where Swagger dropped Orton with a side slam and it looked like Randy landed on his head. He seemed to be angered by it. I was waiting for a STUPID~! to come out. Didn't happen. The crowd did chant "RKO" several times to keep it interesting, but everybody seemed to know that it wasn’t going to have a legit finish. At about the seven minute mark, Orton set him up for the RKO when Edge came in to have the match thrown out. Orton escaped Edge, hit the RKO on Swagger and then turned around to receive a spear from Edge. That means Orton wins at the PPV. Match was just average at best.
Time for Buzz Aldrin. Cole loved him. At this point I had not even seen him at all while I guess he was only on one segment. But that's enough for Cole to love him. To be honest I was pretty damn tired, so I hit FF. I am told that he said "WWF" at one point, which is always good for a laugh. Somebody alert the fucking pandas! They're heading for your office, Vince. Sue them, pandas. Sue! Zack Ryder came out. I still hit FF. Hey, we got a match.
Evan Bourne & Gail Kim d. Zach Ryder & Alicia Fox (*)
This felt like Superstars, if I ever watched it. Gail pinned Alicia with her "Eat Defeat" finisher. Best part of this waste of time was Buzz doing the moonwalk while Cole & Lawler thought it was the best thing ever. The announcers are so bad.
Next week's guest host is Jon Lovitz. Great find about 20 years ago.
(DNS) A Goldust commercial. That's nice.
John Cena vs. Sheamus ended up in a predictable no contest (*1/2)
I laugh every time the announcers suggest HHH is out for good. That's hilarious. The guy will be wrestling into his 50s. I do think it's a good idea to keep harping on how Cena's never beat Sheamus, though. That helps Sheamus although not having him on the PPV hurts him. It was a slow plodding match featuring two guys that have the same offense. Lots of punching, kicking, shoulderblocks and moves that don't lead to a match with flow. Of course it's a non-finish the week before the PPV. Just like with Orton/Swagger, the heel came out (in this case Batista) just as the babyface was about to win. He hit Cena with a few spinebusters to keep him down. He followed that up with the Rings of Saturn that Cole said was somehow like the STF. Um, okay. He's pulling back on the guy's arms while Cena's pulling back on the head and wrapping up the knee. They're not really similar, dumbass. The show ended with Cena screaming in pain.
It's lame when the same finish is used for back to back singles matches. Where's the creativity in that?
Three Stars of the Night
1. Bret Hart
2. Edge
3. Christian
Worst Moment of the Night
Buzz Aldrin talking.
7.5 out of 10
Last week: 4
What a night to be a Canadian wrestling fan. I had so much national pride watching this show. The Canadians like Jericho, Hart, Edge, Christian, The Hart Dynasty, Gail Kim and even Santino (look it up) represented well. The highlight of the show was the Edge & Christian match while the Hart/Miz angle was really well done too. Like I wrote, the finish of the two main matches was too similar. Still, they did add good heat to Edge and Batista, both of whom are losing on Sunday in my opinion.
Not to be picky, but remember the draft lottery a few weeks back? Remember how they tried to tells us that these people would only be on one show from that point forward. It's three weeks later and we saw Swagger, Undertaker, Christian, Michelle & Layla all on this show. This is why nobody cares about the Raw/Smackdown "rivalry" or when somebody is on a different show. It's because WWE doesn't make us care.
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Keep checking out the blog at thejohnreport.net and we'll be back later in the week with a PPV preview as well as polls for all the matches for you to vote on who you think is winning. Lost finale on Sunday means I'm not watching the PPV live. Gotta roll with Lost.
To wrap this up, how about a quick NBA playoff prediction?
I think the Lakers win in 5, maybe 6. They're too big for the Suns up front with Bynum/Gasol/Odom being able to cause a lot of havoc. It's good for Phoenix that they have Robin Lopez back because he's a good defender, but Amare will have it tough in the series. The other thing is Kobe has looked awesome the last two rounds and the Suns aren't an elite defensive team. He should score 25-30 rather comfortably in the flow of the offense. I like Phoenix and I want them to succeed because of Nash. It's just a bad matchup. Lakers are too big. Too good.
As for the East, I say Boston in 6. They're healthy, they matchup well with Orlando (Perkins can handle Howard on his own while the rest of the team stays out on the shooters) and their experience is going to help them. Plus, Rajon Rondo is playing at such a high level that he's going to win Boston one or two games based on his play. Celtics in the finals like two years ago.
Thanks for reading.
John Canton - john@thejohnreport.net
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