John: Welcome to the TJR preview of WWE Fatal 4-Way. To help me with this preview I've enlisted my buddy crazy David K., who writes at thejohnreport.net as well and has basically become our PPV preview guy since he does TNA PPV previews as well. We talk often and we're good friends. David's thoughts will be signified by the green font while mine will be in blue. We'll also have polls for every match to see who you think is going to win. We think WWE took it easy on us by announcing only five matches, or maybe they just don't care about the midcard? Who knows? Either way, let's get to it.
Note: There's a brief spoiler in here regarding Smackdown. One match was announced at that show, so we added it into the preview. It's really not a huge spoiler since it was a match that's been set up for a while anyway. The other four matches have already been announced.
John: First up is the US Title match featuring The Miz defending the title against R-Truth. Miz won the belt on Raw in a good fatal fourway match and Truth is invoking his rematch clause. I thought Miz had moved on from this title. Guess not. How do you see this one going?
David: Bad. I don't know why, but I have this deep hatred for this title now. It reminds me of the lesser days of the Hardcore title, when I looked at the match on the card, and knew that was the time to hit the fridge to grab another drink. It has less to do with the talent involved, and more to do with how it's being represented. It got little to no exposure with the Miz when he held it, and now with it quickly back on him, why should I care/(more importantly)pay to see this match, when Monday it could change? I see Miz retaining using dirty tactics, but frankly I look forward to the next time I've got gas more than this match.
John: Yeah the belt was barely defended by Miz when he had it, then they put it Truth and tried to give him all this momentum with some kind of push. Now it's back on Miz for what reason? It's typical WWE booking where one guy loses a big match, then he just wins a month or two later and everybody stays at the same level without elevation. That's why when Swagger won the World Title people were like "huh?" It's because he was booked like a loser for months. And these two are booked like they are even, so there's no winner in the feud. It's like they're running in circles.
David: You're Vince, what's your first move to give this belt some credibility?
John: I'd bring Arn Anderson and Dusty Rhodes out to cut a promo. I'd have them talk about how important this belt was. I'd then book a 15-20 minute match between two top contenders, whether they are Miz & R-Truth or two others. Then I'd have the babyface win the match, have Arn & Dusty raise their arm as they give them the belt and then have the babyface cut a promo about how important this belt is to them. From there, you give that champ regular title defenses on TV, even if it's Superstars, and make it worthwhile when that guy loses the belt because it meant so much to him. Will it happen? Fuck no.
David: So what's the outcome then? What's gonna happen Sunday?
John: What, no "that's a great idea John?" You sicken me.
David: Not as much as your idea to bring Dusty and Arn back to TV nauseates me, but never the less, how do you see this playing out?
John: I'll say Truth gets the belt back. Really, though, I have no idea. And I don't think it matters because the belt's value is pretty low. I just think the belt does more for Truth than it does for Miz. And you?
David: Since Vince is so worried about his stock price, can somebody tell him the US Title is worth about two sticks of string cheese and a can of tuna? Like I said, Miz with dirty tactics like holding on to the ropes or a DQ.
John's Pick: R-Truth
David's Pick: Miz
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre
David: We've got Drew "I'm Better Than You Since Vince Said So" McIntrye vying for his title back from Kofi "Kobe Johnson" Kingston. Frankly, I like Drew's nickname a little better. How do you see this playing out?
John: McIntyre was considered the Chosen One by Vince McMahon a few months ago. Not just in storyline, but in reality. Then, for whatever reason, Vince wasn't high on him anymore. You see that push that Jack Swagger's getting? That was going to be Drew apparently. Plans change. Lately Drew's been stuck in limbo...or feuding with Matt Hardy. Same thing. Are they high on him still or are they de-pushing him? I don't know. Personally, though, I'd say Kofi retains the belt because the McIntyre/Hardy feud still has legs to it while Kingston needs to move on.
David: My issue with this match more lies with the NXT stuff. With Kofi being a mentor on the show for McGillicutty, that should play a bigger part in everything he does from a show's standpoint. In the end though, Kofi looks better with the gold around his waist right now, for better or worse. I just wish they'd give it to somebody with a little more respect from the fans right now, because while Kofi is a great wrestler, I think he's got that Jeff Hardy effect where it's cool to be a fan of his, but it's more because of the aura than the ring work.
John: The IC belt is better than the US belt because at least on Smackdown they are allowed to wrestle for more than 3 minutes. Remember Kofi vs. Christian? Good shit. I agree with what you're saying. Kofi's character has such little depth. He's cool and I like him, but he's basically just the typical babyface that walks out with the energy while adding nothing else. They need to do more with him. Beating McIntyre again isn't going to help him much.
David: McIntrye hits finisher, Kofi kicks out, and hits T.i.P. OUT OF NOWHERE~! for the pin.
John: Any sign of Matt Hardy, who by the way, is probably filming a video of himself in a hot tub right now.
David: For the sakes of all those late 20's-early 30's women who are still single (MJ anybody?), I hope so. His Twitter makes me a believer he'll be there.
John: I love some of Matt Hardy's tweets. They are in character sometimes, they are out of character sometimes and they are clearly intoxicated sometimes. I mean it's cool that he likes to stay in touch with his fans, but I'd guess it hurts his potential push more than it helps. But hey, at least he's on TV regularly with the worst suspension angle I've ever seen.
David: Well I've got Kofi for the win, you see Matt playing a part in the finish?
John: I think Kofi wins clean. Maybe Matt's in there post match, but not during. Feels like they've done it before anyway.
John's Pick: Kofi Kingston
David's Pick: Kofi Kingston
John: For the Divas title we've got a fatal fourway. It's Eve defending vs. Maryse, Gail and Alicia. Yes, Gail gets a title match even though she was in a tag match on Raw on Monday where she never tagged in. Way to earn it, girl. This title sucks big time. I really don't know another way to say it.
David: I bought a $20 kids belt the other day so I could feel important too like a Divas Champion! Seriously, this belt couldn't be more of a joke, not only from an aesthetic point of view, but from the matches that have evolved from it. Far from the days when there was a ton of talent so you had to have two belts. If you've read my piece on the Knockouts division, you know that these divisions are something I know a ton about, and respect. However, if these women want to save face, they should just not show up to the building Sunday, because there is little to no chance that any of these four women walk out of there not looking more foolish than they did walking in.
John: I think for the sake of our readers they should know that you do in fact carry around your Women's Championship proudly. Me? I don't have one. Just saying.
David: Hey, I look better than Harvey Wippleman holding it. You're damn right I do.
John: Let's talk about the "build" for the match. Eve beats Maryse for the belt. Then Maryse beats her on TV in a tag and then wins a battle royal. Typical WWE where they book one person to win, then the other person to get the win back. Now they involve two other women who have no chance to win just to extend Eve vs. Maryse more. And you know what WWE? Nobody gives a shit about Eve. I said it. Nobody cares. She's pretty, but as soon as she wrestles the crowd is dead.
David: I just think it's funny that the last time the Divas title was defended on pay per view before last months, was back in October at Hell in a Cell. Length of both last months match and that one? Around 5 minutes. Things I can do in 5 minutes that would be better than sitting through this: make a sandwhich, play a game of beer pong, read an article on TJR, listen to a song on iTunes, watch 10 really really really adorable kitten videos on Youtube, and of course, shave my Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup playoff beard.
John: You should also add that you can visit frenchkissmaryse.com for a more enjoyable five minutes as well. Sure I'm whipped by what's her name, but I can look. Oh and by the way, Natalya made a twitter post saying she's working in a match...in FCW. God forbid they put her on TV. I pick Eve to retain. And she'll pin Alicia, so that she continues to feud with Maryse. Thrilling.
David: I've got Fox pinning Gail. It'll give some sort of storyline I guess for the next few weeks. Who's my winner though? Nobody. Unless Maryse goes for a few pin attempts.
John's Pick: Eve
David's Pick: Alicia Fox
David: Next, we have two masked men and a giant fighting a former college All-American ... no, this isn't the plot to the Rock's next action movie, this is the World Title match with Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Big Show, and champion Jack Swagger.
John: I really fucking hate how Swagger gets booked. Last month he gets booked like an idiot that loses non-title matches. This month? Same fucking thing. Do you think this is a productive way of booking a World Champion?
David: No, but what was the last productive booking decision the WWE has made? Everybody loses when it comes to WWE booking. I wish their stock price would fall, so people started losing jobs over this stuff. Nobody fucks with Vince McMahon's money.
John: I should add too that I'm such a fan of CM Punk right now. The guy is so good. The belt should be on him, really, because he's the guy that makes everybody better. Instead, it's on Swagger because they think the belt will make him better. In some ways it has, but when you book him like a loser on TV all the time it's doing more harm than good.
David: I'm a Punk fan as well. Anybody who spends that much time around Serena, hair or no hair, has to be doing something right. Rumblings online have Beth Phoenix in his corner as well? Man's got game. You know who I'm not a fan of right now? Big Show. He should spend 10 straight weeks destroying "enhancement talent", then put him in some feud. He's great as a comedic sidekick, but I could care less about his character right now.
John: For predictions, I'm going with a Swagger win. It seems like he'll keep the belt into the summer for when Undertaker comes back to make him "earn respect" or whatever bullshit they like to say. I'm not sure who he'll pin although I'd guess Mysterio because he was supposed to get time off if he didn't injure Undertaker with his groin. Yes, vegetative state due to a groining. Only in wrestling, baby.
David: I've got Swagger retaining as well. The belt is on him so Vince can feel better than the internets, once he figures out how to use that damn television box that will get him there. I want Swagger to be over, but with Smackdown being viewed as a "B" show, he'd be better off switching places and doing it on Raw.
John's Pick: Jack Swagger
David's Pick: Jack Swagger
John: The main event is the WWE Title match with John Cena defending against Randy Orton, Edge and Sheamus. Every time Michael Cole mentions the 25% chance of retaining, do a shot. I dare you. God, that was annoying on Monday. So what's the forecast for this "dangerous" match?
David: Pain ... sorry, Rocky III flashback moment there. So this is the title match? I've seen about every single combination of these guys in a match, so when they want to do something fresh for the title, they just throw them all in together? You know what I'd love? To see Evan Bourne take out Sheamus and put himself in this match and win it. Jesus would I mark out for that. What will happen though? I've got the odds marked out like so. Cena winning (30%), Edge (25%), Orton (25%), Sheamus (10%). What happened to the other 10%? That's the chance I reserve for God smiting down the ring area with a giant bolt of lightning to save us from this matchup for the next 5 years.
John: I must break you....sorry Rocky IV reference. Your odds are off. I'd put it Cena at 70% and give the rest of them 10%. Cena's not losing it here. It sure seems to me like we'll be getting Cena vs. Barrett sooner rather than later, so keeping the belt on him is what will happen. The question is, will there be NXT interference during the match?
David: That's why I'm so even on it with the three at top ... I see NXT interference, but who would it favor? Is there DQ's in a Fatal Four way match? These questions won't be answered until a bell is rung unfortunately. Cena pin, NXT beatdown after.
John: M'eh, you're overthinking. They love having the belt on Cena and they'll keep it on him to try to elevate Barrett. They have to keep it on him to continue that angle. I don't think there's a DQ in a Fatal Fourway. It's like a Triple Threat. Really, though, it doesn't matter. They're not ending a WWE title match on a DQ anyway. How about match quality? Should be good, right?
David: I think this pay per view will play out time-wise a LOT like Elimination Chamber did, with each of the "Main Events" going 25+ minutes. Could be quality, but I'm worried that there's too many variables that appear to hurt this match. Orton's arm is a key thing in my opinion, so I'm guessing a lot of the match will be two guys going at it, while the other two are ringside "hurt". I'd prefer a triple-threat here, but I see *** potential.
John: Like I wrote in the Raw Deal, these matches are too repetitive. Guy goes for a pin, other guy breaks it up. that guy covers, that gets broken up. And it's a cycle like that. It gets tiresome. Still, though, if they time the spots right it can lead to a good match. As usual, the Canadian will carry it. But Cena retains. And I guess you agree, right percentage boy?
David: Wait, let me check Cena's Twitter to see how he's working out before the match. I think all those lateral tricep extensions really helped his last match. Hmm, no workout tips ... yet ... so I'll go with him until Saturday when I see how he's going to approach this one.
John: Yeah, I remember Batista was a big challenge so he had to work extra hard in the gym. I wish Mark Henry was on Twitter.
John's Pick: John Cena
David's Pick: John Cena
THE BIG FINISH
Note: This is blatantly stolen from Pardon the Interruption. We love that show. Consider it an honor.
John: 1. The PPV only has 5 matches. What match or matches would you add to it?
David: Tag Team titles ... shame they're being held off. Last minute addition probably.
John: They did Jericho vs. Bourne on Raw. Jericho lost by DQ. Do a rematch here for 12-15 mintues with Bourne winning. That would be your match of the night too. THD vs. Usos would be fine too.
David: 2. Surprising moment of the night will go to?
John: Eve connects on a dropkick. Hey, she might do it one of these days!
David: Undertaker wheeled out in his Vegetative state, and blinks "Rest In Peace" in morse code.
John: 3. When will the NXT guys show up?
David: I have them ending the show, but I see them getting beat down by the pairing of Cena and Sheamus. Been some weird pairings fighting them off lately
John: I think with there being only five matches on the card it will be early in the show and they'll cut some kind of promo. It's hard to guess what will happen though. I just think we'll see them at this PPV in the first hour.
David: 4. Are you more excited for the NXT Invasion or were you more excited for the WCW/ECW one?
John: I was hugely excited for the WCW/ECW one until I realized Vince wasn't smart enough to book WCW guys over WWF ones on a consistent basis. What a waste. I'd be more excited if Danielson was still there. I'm not crazy about seeing Young, Otunga or Sheffield wrestling in a big match. Sorry, just don't care about them.
David: I'm actually more excited for NXT, American Dragon or not, because for once, I have no idea where they're going with it. You knew WCW/ECW was losing, it just was a matter of when.
John: 5. I really hate the Kane chokeslamming everybody angle because I think it's going to lead to Kane vs. Undertaker again. Please give me a reason to not hate it.
David: Kane's not promoting a movie while doing it?
John: No, HHH is the thespian now. He already finished one Oscar award winning film. Now he's onto number two. And thanks for not giving me a reason. I still hate it.
David: 6. Game 7 ... who you got? (FYI: This was written on Wednesday night before the game.)
John: Gotta go with the Lakers. Will be rocking my #32 Magic Johnson jersey since that's my idol. They seem to have more heart, plus the best player in the series in Kobe Bryant. He's so focused. The games they lost were ones where his teammates didn't show up. At home, they usually show up. I thought they were the better team from the beginning and I still think that. Lakers win by 8 although I'm not betting on it. As a kid I loved the Lakers growing up and while the Raptors are my fave team now, a part of me will always support the Lakers. Congrats on #5, Kobe.
David: Got my money on Kobe, while I'm wearing Celtic green watching the game. I'll leave either a little richer, or a little happier.
FINAL THOUGHTS
David: This pay per view should not be paid for. It should be a line-up for a Saturday Night Main Event. It's embarrassing that this multi-million dollar corporation puts out this lineup and expects me to shell out $40+ to see this. If one were to say there were too many pay per views in a year, this is a prime example for their argument. All in all, I'll catch a replay, maybe watch it online somewhere, hell might even go to Hooters where I watched the Stanley Cup playoffs while eating endless boneless hot wings. You can do better WWE, you can do better.
John: I think it's pretty sad that they only have five advertised matches on the show. Prior to WrestleMania they flushed out their roster so good. Now? They clearly don't give a shit about the midcard. There are so few real feuds going on that it leads to a product that is very underwhelming to the average viewer. Yes, the NXT angle has drawn some interest and that's a good thing, but you can't be asking people to drop $50 when you only advertise five matches. Like you say crazy Dave, they can do better. It just takes a little effort. On another note, I hear Evangeline Lilly might be single in Vancouver. Don't tell the "wife," but how about a summer road trip?
We'll try to have live coverage of Fatal 4-Way Sunday night at thejohnreport.net for you to read. If not me it might be somebody else. We'll let ya know.
Dave and I will be back previewing next month's Money in the Bank PPV. Enjoy Fatal 4-Way.
Thanks for reading,
John Canton Twitter.com/johnreport
David K. Twitter.com/DaveTheAwesome
