I wrote this live at thejohnreport.net tonight so it's more of a play by play format. It won't be like that weekly, but I did it this way because I had time and I chose to get it done early rather than stay up until 1am like usual. As a result less jokes in the writeup although it's still fun.
Live from Sacramento, CA this is the Raw Deal…
We start with the Nickelback song opening. No video package to start. I'm sure we'll get one or two during the show. At the start they promoted Cena/Hart vs. Jericho/Edge with The Nexus boys as lumberjacks.
And to start us off? Bret Hart for an interview. He's sporting the leather jacket as well as a Batman t-shirt. Okay. He mentions the problems that team WWE is having. Talks about how he vouched for Edge & Jericho to Cena because they're veterans that see the big picture. "I guess I was wrong," he says. He calls out Jericho & Edge to talk. Oh boy, brewing Canadagasm coming here. Canadagasm = when two or more outstanding Canadian wrestlers are on screen. You non-Canadians can't appreciate it like I do. Sorry. And here's Jericho.
Jericho tells him to convince him. Bret says that's not what he's there for. "This is your chance to be a man, to step up to the plate and change things," Bret tells him. He says if you quit WWE's team you're not hurting the team, you're hurting yourself. He mentions how nobody wants anything to do with Jericho. If Nexus wins, you'd be outcasts because you'd have turned your back on everybody without anywhere to go. "Join team WWE and make things right. Do the honorable thing." He kept badgering him telling him this is his chance to do right. Jericho says his answer is still no. Crowd is pissed. Jericho calls him a hypocrite like all of them. He can see in his eyes that he's scared. He says Bret knows they can't beat Nexus without Jericho or Edge. "Once again in the WWE Bret Hart is screwed," says Jericho. Chris says he's not interested in teaming with Cena or Hart. And he wants to dismantle Bret Hart right here tonight. Here comes Edge. More Canadagasms!
Edge starts off: "Chris, what's the matter with you man, this is Bret The Hitman Hart. We grew up idolizing him. He's the reason we got into this business, Chris." He mentions Jericho trained with Bret's family while Edge saved money to go see live to see if he put sunglasses on his head when he was at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto. Edge says: "I don't know about Jericho, but you can count me in." Jericho leaves. Edge shakes Bret's hand, kicks him, Bret catches him and goes to put him in the Sharpshooter. Jericho gives him a thumb to the eye.
Edge & Jericho leave. As they do, one of my favorite divas Natalya comes running out crying. She says something to Bret. On the video wall we see that The Nexus has beat up The Hart Dynasty in the locker room. Barrett says "looks like it's not your day, Bret." Bret and Natalya run to the back as we go to break.
I thought it was a strong opening segment. Not a surprise since there's a lot of heat on the heels and the crowd was hot for Bret due to not seeing him much. Plus, they're all Canadians. Of course they'd do great. And yes I’m biased. Deal with it.
(Commercial)
Backstage, Bret and Natalya are checking on the Hart Dynasty with a trainer. Bret wants to leave. Cena shows up to tell him to stay with his family because he's going to talk to the Great Khali.
The Miz vs. Evan Bourne
Neither guy is booked for Summerslam. Here's to hoping that they do something here to lead to a longer match at Summerslam. The crowd starts a "Miz is Awesome" chant. Now Lawler's kissing the ass of The Miz the way Cole does. Vince must have given that directive. Fine by me. Chinlock two minutes in. The running corner clothesline by Miz was sold wonderfully by Bourne. I really like both of these guys a lot although I wish Bourne was on the Summerslam team because it would have helped the push he was having. Hey, they remembered the US title that he almost never defends. Wow, what a lovely hurricanrana by Bourne for a two count. He jumped over the back of Miz to hit it. Great athlete. Miz puts him down with a stiff clothesline. Another "Miz is Awesome" chant starts up by the Sacramento crowd. And there's the Skull Crushing Finale for the win at four minutes.
Winner: The Miz
Analysis: *1/2 Good enhancement match to put over Miz. So much for putting on a rematch at Summerslam.
Post match, The Miz talks about he doesn't care if it's Sheamus or Orton that wins on Sunday. When he's ready to cash in his contract he'll be WWE Champion. The crowd chants along with "I'm the Miz and I'm Awesome" line while Cole kisses his butt.
Backstage, we see Cena talking to Khali. We can't hear what they are saying because the camera is far away. I love how Khali's standing there in his usual pose with his arms at his side while Cena's pleading with him. It looks so unnatural.
(Commercial)
Plug time: The John Report Podcast Episode #2 was posted last Wednesday. Part three will be recorded Tuesday night and posted this Wednesday. We are still working on getting it up on iTunes, but we're hopeful that it's this week. Please give it a listen. Let me know what you think.
We see a video package showing Melina's return last week.
Melina vs. Alicia Fox
It's non-title. Melina comes out looking gorgeous. Big pop for her. I like her, but I loved her way more as a heel and when it wasn't PG. She was even more of a star performer in those days. Alicia comes out next. Start shaking those hips. Nice offense by Melina. She looks sharp. Alicia bails to the floor, Melina follows and takes a hard clothesline on the floor. "Alicia is as tough as they come," says Cole. Sure she is. By the way, I'm not going to call Alicia "Booker She" like some people have asked me to. Sloppy looking backbreaker by Alicia. That almost missed. Alicia puts her up in a torture rack type move. Melina does her sunset flip powerbomb that looked very painful. Wow, they almost screwed that up very bad. It was about 4 minutes.
Winner: Melina
Analysis: * Melina's offense looked good for the most part. They did almost miss on the backbreaker spot and the finisher spot. That could have been painful in either case. Alicia took a hard bump on the back of her head.
"She has just vaulted to the very top of the Divas division," says Cole of Melina. Real hard to do when they don't give any of the talented divas like Natalya or Gail some wins.
Backstage Khali talked to Josh Matthews. He spoke, we couldn't understand. Josh asked him to speak in English. He said Wade Barrett versus him tonight. I guess that's happening.
(Commercial)
During the break we have news from the GM with Michael Cole reading: For the Divas title it's Alicia vs. Melina added to Summerslam for the Divas title. Also Barrett vs. Khali is official for later.
Coming later is a Summertime Spectacular: Bellas vs. Eve & Gail vs. Jillian & Maryse. I'm fine with bikinis. I approve.
Backstage, Edge & Jericho (should I call them Edgicho?) talk about what Bret said. Jericho says Bret might have had a point. Edge says they have survived everybody in the business naming Rock, Austin, Undertaker, The Alliance (ha what a botched angle that was). Jericho says tonight they take out Cena and take out Bret because without them there's no match at Summerslam. So Jericho says if they take them out they're in the clear.
Backstage, R-Truth with the bearded John Morrison talk about replacements for the team. Mark KOOL-AID Henry comes up to say you don't need two because all you need is him. Get the KOOL-AID ready folks. I have mine ready. With Grey Goose. Naturally.
More backstage! Holy backstage-fest. The Nexus boys are watching a TV and then they walk off. No comments.
(Commercial)
WWE bragged about their facebook page having more fans than some of the other pro sports leagues. Of course the NFL has about 10 times as many viewers as WWE does. But let's not talk about that.
Ted Dibiase vs. Mark Henry
Maryse is out with Ted in a very short silver dress. Holy shit this woman is gorgeous. It's Mark Henry and he's not wearing red. No KOOL-AID I guess.
Nexus shows up, so no match with Dibiase. They throw him shoulder first into the steps. Then they leave through the crowd. Cole theorizes that the plan is to eliminate possible replacements for team WWE. Of course nobody in WWE comes out to save Mark Henry.
Decent angle in terms of taking out Sexual Chocolate. It's just a shame we didn't see more of Maryse in that silver dress. I guess she'll be on later, though.
Sheamus coming out to the ring next.
(Commercial)
Plug time: Big shoutout to my friend Nazzy who met my friend Mickie James on the weekend and surprised me by getting her to pose with a couple photos here and here. Pretty cool. Thanks a lot Nazzy and Mickie for that. It was a very nice surprise!
Sheamus is out. Mark Henry's still at ringside getting helped to the back. Sheamus comes out for a promo telling us he's not afraid of Randy Orton. He throws it to a video package showcasing his dominance. Well done as always. He calls out Orton.
Randy comes out to say he thinks Sheamus is full of it. "Everybody takes me seriously, fella" says the fella. Fella. Orton says he's going to blow it this Sunday at Summerslam. He tells Sheamus that he has never beaten him. Technically Sheamus beat him at the 2010 Rumble although that was by DQ. "You're wrong, you're all wrong." Sheamus said he's taken out HHH and Cena, Orton says he's neither of them and Sheamus says he's not the champion either. Orton basically tells him to do something about it meaning that he should attack Orton because he was too afraid to do it last week. Loud "RKO" chants start up as they do a staredown. And there's the email from the GM.
The GM says if anybody interferes in the title match at Summerslam they will be suspended indefinitely. If Orton loses at Summerslam there will be no rematch and he will go back to the end of the line. If Sheamus is not scared, then the GM encourages him to do something about it right now. End message.
Back to the ring there's more staring and more heavy breathing. Sheamus walks away to jeers. He goes to throw a punch, but stops. And Orton attacks from behind. Nice clothesline by Sheamus. He misses his kick. Orton hits his backbreaker. The crowd is very into Orton right here. They hear voices in their head as well. Orton is thinking about the punt. He could have done it, but he stopped as a way to scare Sheamus.
I really liked the segment. It did a great job in terms of adding to the storyline they got here. It showed that Orton is in his head, Sheamus might be scared and did an effective job of building to the match on Sunday. I think it'll be a lot better than what they did at the Rumble. The build to the match hasn't been great, but still very good.
They tell us the main event is Hart/Cena vs. Edge/Jericho with Nexus as lumberjacks. Time check is 10:10pm, so about an hour left.
(Commercial)
One of the commercials was for the new DVD coming out about the first two years of Raw. It's smart of WWE to release stuff like that.
Back from break, Sheamus is still at ringside. I hear the NXT music, so I guess he'll be beating up some rookies.
Kaval, Percy Watson & Lucky Cannon vs. Michael McGillicutty, Alex Riley & Husky Harris
It's a matchup of NXT boys. They are really plugging the elimination coming up tomorrow. Nice pop for Kaval, who only has a 1-5 record even though he's the best guy in this group. He gets the biggest pop of everybody in the match, yet they still book him to lose all the time. Lucky hits a crossbody on MM. Blind tag by Husky, who is the son of IRS in case you didn't know. Clothesline to the back of Kaval. And he hits his running back splash for the win. So Kaval loses again. Match was about 4 minutes.
Winners: Husky, MM & Riley
Analysis: * Short match that saw each guy get a little bit of action in the ring. I still don't like how poorly they book Kaval, though.
Post match, Sheamus beats up Lucky & MM on the floor. Then he goes in ring to deliver the High Cross (Razor's Edge) to Kaval. Then he tells us this time next week he will be our WWE Champion. And he walks off without the title.
The Sheamus/Orton feud is good because they're both going into the match with a lot of momentum. I am enjoying the build for it.
We see Truth & Morrison coming to the ring. For what? Find out after the break.
(Commercial)
John Morrison & R-Truth vs. William Regal & Zack Ryder
I wonder who's going to win here. Morrison's got the beard going, which a lot of people think means he's going heel. Cole puts over that Ryder likes to call himself "Long Isand Iced Z." That's a worse nickname than the "Shaman of Sexy." Wow, an awesome move by Morrison. His offense in this match is great. Morrison finishes off Ryder with Starship Pain. It got about two minutes.
Winners: Morrison & Truth
Analysis: 1/2* Nice offense by Morrison. He's a great athlete that is tremendously underused right now.
The announcers plug Summerslam. We've got Nexus vs. Team WWE, which I assume will close out the show. There is also Kane vs. Mysterio for the World Title, Big Show vs. Punk/Gallows/Mercury and Sheamus vs. Orton for the WWE Title. There's also Melina vs. Alicia that they mentioned earlier. I'll have a preview up on Thursday with hopefully a few more matches added at the SD tapings.
We see the Bella Twins coming out for the Diva Summertime Spectacular. Well, it's not like they're employed to actually wrestle.
(Commercial)
Back from break, the arena is filled with beach things. Jillian and Maryse are in the ring in one piece outfits. Eve & Gail come down a slide as do the Bellas. I think the Bellas song is what will be played at my funeral one day. "You can look but you can't touch." Catchy, no? Santino's the ref in the ring with Kozlov on the floor. All of the girls are barefoot.
The Bellas vs. Maryse/Jillian vs. Gail/Eve
What can you write really? Just enjoy the view, I guess. I don't even know who my favorite is. I guess Maryse. I don't mind Jillian's figure. One Bella tags in the other and there's a dropkick. Hey, a flying headscissors. And a dropkick gets two. Neckbreaker by Eve. Maryse comes in, so Gail tires her up with a plastic tube and hits her finisher. Jillian throws her out. One Bella hits Jillian and the other comes off the top with a CROSS BODY~! I love the CROSS BODY~! since Steamboat did it, so it gets all caps. I guess it was Nikki Bella that did it.
Winners: The Bellas
Analysis: DUD Nice to know the Bellas can do a bit of wrestling. The crowd wasn't into this that much. The women look okay, but it felt like a waste of time too.
Post match, Tamina comes out to stare down Santino. He's nervous. She slaps him in the butt. He awkwardly waves at her and leaves. Is this going to lead to another comedy romance with Santino? That's not exactly fresh.
Summerslam Recall: 1991 Bossman vs. The Mountie. All the great matches and they pick this garbage? Ugh.
Backstage, Khali is walking. Nope. There's Nexus. They attack his left knee and he's down. Nobody's around like usual. They leave as a ref shows up to call for help. Random attacks are fun. Now put Bourne into the match so he can sell the moves of the guys that don't know what the hell they're doing in the ring.
(Commercial)
The Nexus comes out. I think I like their theme song. "We are one, we are one…" and then other stuff. It's catchy. Wade Barrett tells us that the match versus The Great Khali has been canceled. In other words, they know it would be a terrible match, so it's better to not do it. I agree. Great booking! Wade says they're going to win and achieve more than anybody has ever imagined. Skip tells us that Raw has become their show. Yes, their show that they never wrestle on. I have to say that Heath Slater looks like one of the least intimidating heels I've ever seen. He's got a career as a lookalike for Wendy's though. Otunga cuts a promo threatening the locker because "you're either Nexus or against us."
Backstage, Cena & Hart are walking. The Miz shows up. He mentioned the team is screwed up. He figured it was a matter of time before he came looking for him. He wants to hear Bret ask him to be on the team. Bret says: "Fine, are you in or out?" Miz wants to hear it from Cena too. Cena: "Are you in or are you out?" He mentioned times have changed in one year. Last year he was banned from Summerfest by Jeremy Piven. Are you in or out? "I'll let you know Sunday," says Miz. Cena says it's a shame they might need him.
Cena and Bret vs. Edge and Jericho with Nexus as lumberjacks is coming up next.
(Commercial)
Oh shit, there's a guest host next week. That Justin Long dude that's in some crappy movie with Drew Barrymore. Remember when people thought Rock would guest host in the summer? Not happening. That's a damn shame.
Chris Jericho & Edge (Edgicho?) vs. Bret Hart & John Cena
People always ask me what my favorite theme song is in WWE. The answer is Edge's song. I love it. Bret's wrestling in the Batman shirt and the jean shorts. The match is starting at about 11:01pm, so it's not going long obviously. Edge quickly tosses Cena to the floor and Nexus beats him up before throwing him back. What kind of lumberjacks all stand in the same spot? I guess Nexus are those kinds of lumberjacks. Jericho throws Cena out and they beat him up. Once again they throw Cena out for the beatdown. I love Edge & Jericho being on the same side, by the way. Back in the ring, Cena replies by throwing Jericho out to Nexus on the floor. They don't touch him at all. Tag in Batman! Cena goes for an Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho counters and then Cena counters the Walls. Cena to the floor again, he hits Barrett. Jericho hits Barrett by accident, so Nexus beats up Jericho now. They beat up Edge too. This will probably lead to Jericho & Edge rejoining the team.
The Nexus huddles up around ringside. Is the match over, I guess? It's 7 on 2. Here's Morrison & Truth, so it's 7 on 4. They show Edge and Jericho watching from the ramp. They look at eachother, walk away, then look back and haul ass into the ring to a huge pop. Now it's 7 on 6. Huge staredown and brawl. The crowd is going nuts! This is cool. The Nexus guys quickly bail. It ends with Team WWE in the ring while Team Nexus watches from up high in the card.
The main event was barely a match as expected. It was more of an angle to hype Summerslam. If you thought Jericho & Edge really weren't going to be on the team then you were overthinking. No way they do this match without two of the most talented guys in the company. I assume Miz will be added as the 7th although that's just a guess on my part.
Three Stars of the Show
1. The Miz - Continues to be great.
2. Randy Orton - I thought he was excellent in his promo as well as in his actions. He seemed "on" in that segment.
3. Chris Jericho - Just because he's the best.
Worst Moment of the Week
Anything with Khali. He's not a good performer. Sorry.
6.5 out of 10
Last week: 7
It was a hard show to rate. I don't think any of the matches got over five minutes. However, it was good in terms of promoting Summerslam. If you were watching this show for matches you would be disappointed. It's a promotional show for Summerslam, which is fine.
I care more about Orton vs. Sheamus because of what happened here. I care more about WWE vs. Nexus because of what happened here, namely the brawl at the end with the crowd going nuts. And when it's the last Raw before the PPV that's important. You have to ask yourself did they do enough to convince people to buy the PPV? I think so. I'm intrigued at least a little bit more than I was before.
To sum up it was a pretty good show. Not great, but effective in terms of what they were trying to do.
Now vote on the 3 stars of the night. You can pick 3 of your own.
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