The John Report: WWE Raw Deal for 05/23/11 (RIP Macho Man)
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter at @johnreport
Before I start I just want to mention that this is the two year anniversary of me writing The Raw Deal. I've been writing on the internet for a decade or so, but the Raw Deal column started in May of 2009. Here's the first one from two years ago covering a really bad edition of the show. I'm still trying to forget that episode. The 3 rating might have been nice. It's been fun. I try to mix in humor and serious opinions when needed to make it an enjoyable read. I'm still here, so I must like it a lot huh? Thanks for all the support. I don't have any special plans other than sharing that awesome banner that my buddy Steve made. Let's get to the show.
Live from Portland, Oregon (Oden over Durant?) this is the Raw Deal...
They started the show with the same graphic honoring Randy Savage that started Over The Limit on Sunday. They brought out Jerry Lawler, who celebrated his victory over Michael Cole the night before. He introduced somebody who helped make Michael Cole kiss his foot…Bret Hart.
Bret Hart came out to a huge pop. I marked out of course. One of my all time favorites. I appreciate guys like him even more considering my first favorite wrestler Randy Savage just died. It was a nice surprise at Over The Limit and it was a good way to get the crowd hot for this show. He talked about how even though he and Lawler didn't always get along (in storyline) he had a lot of respect for him. Actually in his book he talked about how stiff Lawler was when he attacked him at the King of the Ring coronation in 1993, but we can forget that. Long time ago. He ended up getting interrupted by R-Truth, who still has no theme music. He comes out to "The Truth shall set you free" and the crowd boos him, which is great. He's really getting over. Truth talked about how Bret had so many title shots. Bret said it was because he was the best there is, the best there was and the best that there ever will be. Then he told Truth that he didn't get title shots because he was a freaking lunatic. Truth took Bret's glasses, then looked for "Little Jimmy" in the crowd, found some random kid, put the shades on and remarked as if he should get a title shot now. Then he took the shades off like the evil man that he is.
Following their exchange, the WWE Champ John Cena walked out. I guess he was limping to sell pain. It looked more like somebody stuck something up his ass (roody poo candy ass) with the way he was walking. Nevertheless, that's Cena selling something for the first time in a long time. He should watch Bret Hart tapes to learn how to sell properly. I know it's the gimmick to be super strong, but it's annoying. Cena had a funny line when asked Bret how he was doing and then turned to Truth by saying "now back to the lunatic." Cena asked Truth what his problem was, so he said guys like Cena and Hart were. Truth said that Cena was a "propaganda tool to make the people feel good." That's a shoot comment isn't it? Truth went on this rant about Cena's merchandise and ended it by saying he wants his son back. I love that Truth has all these mental issues. Maybe they can say how Cena is his son's favorite wrestler, so that's what drives him to act this way. Truth said he doesn't care about the people or how they feel, "it's all about me, me, me!" That line was a good way to define his character. Cena had enough, but just as he was about to fight him the GM chimed in. Josh Mathews read the email stating that Truth had to prove himself a little bit more before getting a title shot. Later on it would be Cena & Mysterio vs. Truth & Punk with special guest ref Bret Hart.
I really liked this promo to start the show. Truth continues to shine on the microphone in his new heel role. We haven't seen Bret in a while, so there was a lot of freshness to him. His interaction with Truth was fun. Bret showed a lot of energy. Cena didn't get to speak much, so he was more tolerable than normal. I think with Truth you can see why he's angry all the time, but we boo him because he bitches a little too much. It's how a heel is supposed to be. I'm really enjoying R-Truth's character right now.
Backstage, Big Show & Kane were chatting by Del Rio's car with Show leaning on it. Ricardo Rodriguez yelled at them in Spanish, so Show swatted him away. Then Del Rio yelled at them in Spanish. They walked away.
Mike McGillicutty & David Otunga d. Big Show & Kane to win the Tag Team Titles (*)
They rarely give matches a lot of time, but they give this match eight minutes? Yawn. They went to commercial pretty early. The heels worked over Kane with their indy level wrestling offense. Punk and Ryan were on the floor during the match. After Big Show got the hot tag, Ryan jumped in the ring, Kane clotheslined him out, the ref was distracted, Punk kicked Show in the back and MM & Otunga hit a sloppy DDT on Show for the win. Really? That's enough to win? Big Show is such a badass that he gets pinned by a kick to the back and a sloppy DDT? He's the weakest giant I've ever seen.
They plugged Capitol Punishment with their cartoon drawing of Barack Obama being a part of the show. It's not happening. Reminds me of their Bill Clinton parodies in the 90s. Lawler laughed while Mathews tried a fake laugh, but he failed. This will be a weekly thing where they laugh at their own political jokes while nobody else thinks it's funny.
They showed Randy Orton signing copies of his movie "That's What I Am" at a Wal-Mart in St. Louis (his hometown). They plugged the anti-bullying aspects of the movie as well as their "Be A Star" campaign. Family friendly!
Backstage, Kane and Big Show were mad about losing. Del Rio went up to Big Show and slapped him. Show chased him, bumped into the camera to make it look like it got knocked out and then when it came back Big Show was shown with his right leg underneath the front left car tire of Del Rio's car that had Ricardo Rodriguez driving. They took off like criminals as Kane yelled for help. Show was yelling. Good job by him. They went to break. I noticed in the upper left of the screen Del Rio & Rodriguez ran away, then they simply stopped and walked off screen. They could have sold the running better!
Back from break, they showed Big Show getting help from the doctors. They wanted to wrap up the knee. I love how Kane was the supportive wife to Big Show during that segment on Raw. He is the big red monster with a heart of gold even though he has buried his brother alive on multiple occasions. Show told them to give him some room. He finally managed to get back to his feet, but it wasn't easy. He said he was okay although clearly he was not. I'm not sure if Show is out for an extended period of time. Maybe he has a knee surgery scheduled? Maybe he's getting a month off for vacation? I'm not sure. It seems like they'll put Del Rio in a feud with Kane where ADR would likely go over before Del Rio goes after Cena presumably at Summerslam.
Next week on Raw: Ricardo Rodriguez gets arrested for a vehicular homicide attempt! Okay, I made that up. His lawyer will be Rikishi, who did it for The Rock just like Ricardo did it for Del Rio. I made that up too. Somehow I think that the vehicular homicide will be forgotten and instead a match will take place. That's how the action soap operas do it.
Jack Swagger d. Evan Bourne (1/2*)
Swagger won in about two minutes with his Swagger Bomb. Bourne got very little offense. Post match, Swagger did his Airplane Spin celebration, so Bourne popped up, booted him in the gut and then raced up the ramp smiling. Yes, he's happy he just lost in convincing fashion because he was able to kick the guy in the stomach after he lost. This seemed like an ad for the anti-bullying campaign or something. I guess this means they'll do a rematch in the future. Swagger needs to be in the main event scene. Bourne should be better used too, but it feels like we've seen this kind of angle with both guys before. It took about four minutes to do all of it. It probably took twenty seconds to book it.
Backstage, Michael F'N Cole was walking with a frown on his face. He approached some random dudes who laughed at him. Then he saw the divas who laughed at him. He extended his hand to Eve, but she responded by sticking her foot up at him and laughing. That may have been the greatest thing Eve has ever done…other than bending over. What? She has a nice physique!
At the top of hour two, superstar Michael Cole came out to apologize for his behavior over the past few months. Jerry Lawler made some jokes at his expense, but then Cole sat down at the desk to announce the rest of the show. Basically his ridiculously over the top heel character is done now. I thought they'd be better off keeping him in that role, using him as a manager and bringing back Jim Ross to the announce table, but obviously Vince wants his puppet Cole at the announce desk. I'm just glad that the angle is finally over.
The Miz walked out with Alex Riley in suits. Cole's support of Miz was toned down big time. The Miz blamed Alex Riley for his loss, saying it was a recurring thing. He wanted another title match against John Cena with Riley banned from ringside. He wasn't leaving until he heard from the GM. Finally the GM chimed in as Josh read the message saying that his request was denied and that he was done with John Cena. I'm glad that angle is finally over too. Miz blamed Riley saying it was his fault. Riley pointed out that he wasn't the one that said "I Quit." The crowd popped for that. Miz fired him from his personal services contract. So does that mean that Riley can go back to his job on Smackdown? I'm so confused. Anyway, the end result of this was they got into a brawl where Riley absolutely destroyed The Miz. The crowd loved it. They even started a "Riley! Riley!" chant as he threw Miz into the announce table and the guard rail. The segment ended with Riley booting Miz in the head while the former champion was knocked out.
This was really well done. The crowd hates Miz so much that they cheered somebody like Riley who has never shown any babyface tendencies. It's like the Virgil turn on Dibiase from twenty years ago. That's why when you have associations you build them up over a long time rather than rush them. If you rush them nobody cares about the split. What's next? Riley's a Smackdown wrestler. He just got fired from The Miz' employ. That means they technically can't have a match, but the situation calls for a PPV match between them with Riley making the babyface turn. Due to the brand extension they technically can't wrestle, though. Both guys were great here. Miz turned up the intensity when it was needed and Riley showed a lot of babyface fire. It was a very effective segment.
Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix vs. Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Maryse & Melina
My reaction to this match at first was "holy crap some of these girls are still employed?" Twenty seconds into the match, Kharma's music played. She walked into the ring, the eight girls circled around her and she cried. Yep, she cried. She went down on her knees and she wept in the center of the ring. They went to commercial with the camera focused on only her. That was one of the most bizarre spots for a commercial that I've ever seen.
What happened with Kharma? My buddy Frank K. had a good answer: "She has been on RAW for one month now...what happens once a month with women?" Winning! I assume the angle is going to be something where they tell a story about how she's always been mocked for being different, but all she wants is to be normal. Personally I'd rather see her be the heel monster before they rush with this angle. They need to make her only a monster for several months, crushing diva after diva. Now she's breaking down in the middle of the ring in tears? Too soon. I'm interested to see where it goes, but I'm disappointed that this happened so suddenly.
Kofi Kingston d. Drew McIntyre (*1/4)
I don't know if it's just me, but McIntyre looks like he fell asleep in the tanning bed or something because he was tanned more than usual here. Yes, I feel like less of a man for noticing things like that. The announcers tried to put over his ferocity. Then he lost in about four minutes. At least Kingston sold a sore knee during the match. He couldn't hit Trouble in Paradise for the win, but he found another way. It was shocking to see a non-title match that a champion wins! That's rare. When they wrestled on Smackdown a half dozen times they always got over ten minutes. On Raw, though, they only get four minutes. That's the difference between the two shows. That, plus the fact that Raw's audience is almost double Smackdown these days even though Smackdown is better. That's a column for another day!
After the Kofi win, they cut to Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler watching backstage. Ziggler is back to the blonde hair. Why did they have him switch in the first place? This company confuses me so much. We've seen McIntyre vs. Kingston a lot on Smackdown. Now we get to see Kingston vs. Ziggler feuding on Raw just like they did on Smackdown. It's not a fresh feud if they worked together on the other show, WWE. Just to let you know. The quality of their matches were good, but it's not really new.
They aired the fake Barack Obama press conference about Capitol Punishment. The announcers laughed as if it was funny. It wasn't funny on Sunday. It wasn't funny here either. I'm sure Vince loved it, though, so that's what matters. It was a little better than that erectile dysfunction commercial they did to advertise Over The Limit, but I think a pig playing in shit would be more entertaining than that. Actually, pigs playing in shit are entertaining than a lot of things on wrestling shows. I'm off topic aren't I?
Backstage, MM and Otunga celebrated their newly won tag titles. Punk told the group to see what he was about to do in the main event.
Backstage, Scott Stanford talked to Alberto Del Rio, who said the whole car accident thing was Show's fault and Ricardo's fault because he's an idiot. We already saw the idiot assistant angle with Riley didn't we? Like I said earlier I assume this leads to a Del Rio vs. Kane feud.
They played a video tribute to Randy "Macho Man" Savage, who I wrote about after he passed away on Friday. I had people complain to me on Twitter and Facebook about how this should have been earlier in the show. I don't think so. It was in the spot before the main event. Then they went to commercial. It was fine. Stop complaining for the sake of complaining. We lost one of the best wrestlers ever. They honored him as they should. I thank WWE for that. They did the right thing. Jerry Lawler: "Randy Savage will always be a Hall of Famer, no matter what." Then why isn't he in? I'm sure people will be asking that question until it's announced that he's in hopefully in 2012. The sad thing is he won't be there to see it himself. Here's the video.
I thought it was really well done. I'm not a huge Coldplay fan, but the song worked well. They did a great job of talking about why Savage is such a legend and why he stood out from the pack. It would have been cool to see some of the wrestlers talk about how they looked up to him, but I think that's something they can do down the road if the Hall of Fame induction happens. I just read a recap of George Steele on the Busted Open radio show who said that Vince was so devastated that Savage jumped to WCW that he didn't want to work with him ever again. I'm not sure if that's the reason. I doubt we'll ever really know, but it's a shame that they weren't able to work out their differences while Randy was alive because Macho Man deserves that honor as much as anybody.
Before I get to the main event, I'm sure a lot of you have heard about the deadly tornado that ripped through Joplin, Missouri and the surrounding area. It could end up being the deadliest tornado in US history. I had a few readers write me to ask if I could mention it and I have no problem doing that. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross or you can go to RedCross.org for other ways to donate. Money is good, but they need supplies too. Please do what you can to help. I know I speak for a lot of people when I say my thoughts and prayers are with all of those affected by this awful tragedy. Thank you.
John Cena & Rey Mysterio d. CM Punk & R-Truth (**)
As mentioned earlier, the guest ref was Bret Hart. Remember how Cena was selling the injuries earlier in the show? He didn't do a lot of it during the match. It was vintage SuperCena here. The match got about ten minutes. If I was writing about this live I would have guessed that Truth was going to pin Mysterio to prove that he was worthy as a title contender. That didn't happen. It was really cool to see CM Punk rocking the pink tights and yellow boots just like Randy Savage used to wear. More greatness from CM Punk was when he did the Russian legsweep into the pin like Bret Hart while he was staring at him. He did the backbreaker and the second rope elbow too. Loved it. It's a shame that the announcers didn't make mention of the fact that he was doing Bret's moves right in front of him. The announcers suck, basically. The heels worked over Cena for much of the match, Mysterio got the hot tag, did all of his spots and Bret Hart put Punk into the Sharpshooter. I marked out, but it was pretty random. Punk didn't do much to piss Bret off. At one point he hid behind him to avoid an attack, but it wasn't excessive or anything. While Bret had Punk in the Sharpshooter, Rey hit his springboard legdrop on the back of the head and pinned him. Rey gets his win back after losing at the PPV while Punk loses again. What else is new?
Post match, Cena did this ridiculous jump in the air similar to what Orton did on Smackdown last week. I'm guessing Cena did it to mock Randy. I'm not sure. It was just…bizarre. The babyfaces celebrated to end the show. There was no mention of what might happen on next week's show.
Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk - For the Macho Man tribute pink tights with yellow boots. Love it.
2. R-Truth - He's found his way here again. He is on fire.
3. Bret Hart - Because I'm a biased Canadian that loves this man.
I think Miz & Riley deserve some credit too. That was a strong segment. I don't ever take the three stars too seriously. Neither should you.
5 out of 10
Last week: 5
2011 High Score: 9.1 (March 28)
2011 Low Score: 4 (Jan. 10)
2011 Average: 5.89
Last 5 Weeks: 5, 5, 4, 7, 5
I'm giving it another 5 this week. It was very average. Some of the promos were good by Truth, Hart, Miz and Riley to name a few. The Miz-Riley segment was the best angle on the show. The Show-Del Rio thing was very cheesy. That's a typical Raw filled with highs and lows. It's to be expected at this point. Wrestling wise it was a weak show. They did nothing to really promote the Capitol Punishment PPV except that awful commercial that only Vince McMahon finds funny. This was a feel good babyface show to send the crowd home happy.
I'm not sure who the next jobber to Cena will be. It might be R-Truth or it might be CM Punk. It might be both in a triple threat match although they just did one of those at Extreme Rules. The word is that Punk's contract is up in a couple of months. He has yet to re-sign. They could do a feud with Cena to entice him to stay or they can continue to make him into Jobber Man 2011 as a way to bury him before his contract expires. I'm not sure what's going to happen. I just hope he sticks around because WWE needs him especially with no Jericho in sight.
The best part, to me, was the tribute video to Randy Savage. It was really touching. I'm glad WWE took the time to do that for those of us fans that really loved watching him perform. I'm sure a lot of the guys in the locker room loved it too because they grew up idolizing him. Just look at what CM Punk did to pay tribute to the man. Since his passing I've read a lot of articles and heard a lot of his peers talk about him. My admiration for the Macho Man only grows.
Check out thejohnreport.net later on Tuesday or early Wednesday for the return of the Commentfest column that I used to do. It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack with yours truly as the host. If you don't know what I mean just check back and you'll see it.
Rest in piece, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Your legacy will live on forever. Ohhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhh!
John Canton - john@thejohnreport.net
thejohnreport.net
Twitter @johnreport
Facebook Facebook.com/thejohnreportnet
Visit My Archives to view ten plus years of The John Report columns.
