The 242 Raw Review!
Rock!! Cena!! Halloween!!! Punk!! Titles!! Text messages!! Muppets!! Raw!!!!!
YES!! IT’S HIS MUSIC!!! IT’S HIS LIGHTING!!! HE’S HERE!!! HE’S HERE!!!
(video clip plays)
...oh.
Well, as much as the WWE seems to like blue-balling their live crowd, this was still a Rock promo so it was pretty good by default (if not a little formulaic, but that’s sort of Rock’s thing). The Rock starts off by claiming that he will NOT tag with Cena (and this legitimately had me going for a second, huge swerve to the entire internet), and then claims that that’s exactly what he’s going to do (...once again, “oh.”). Rock explains his reasons for the alliance...because his fans want to see The Miz and R-Truth get theirs, and because he wants Cena to witness the Rock in action. So, basically, The Rock is comparing himself to LeBron James, which is eerily accurate, since he’s allying with his biggest rival to try and form a super-team. This also means that we should see him vanish during the critical stretch. Too bad, I like Rocky.
Johnny Ace personally makes the stipulation of this match clear: Punk must win in order to get his title shot at Survivor Series.
Things start off good for Punk, and we get the beginnings of a pretty good David/Goliath match. Shortly in, however, Del Rio shows up and sends Ricardo Rodriguez into the ring to interfere with Mark Henry. The referee calls this a DQ, and awards the victory to Mark Henry. Once he realizes these devious happenings, Punk goes straight after ADR and Rodriguez, chasing ADR away and then feeding Rodriguez to Mark Henry.
It’s actually pretty smart of the WWE to keep teasing us with Punk in the title scene, instead of giving him a straight-up title shot. His fans want him to be the champion so bad, and there’s at least some doubt in the back of their minds of how Punk is going to be used in the future. Some don’t think he’ll hold the title again (in a meanginful way at least), and some even think he might be slowly getting buried. And that’s exactly how people should be feeling about Punk’s situation right now...frustrated. This plays right into that. And that sentiment could easily change after Survivor Series.
The Muppets are here!! And they are greeted by Vickie & Swagger, treating us to the epic Miss Piggy/Vickie Guerrero showdown. Santino (who’s probably been looking forward to this for weeks, seeing as how it’s a rare opportunity for his character to be on TV) shows up, announces that he has a match with Swagger, and announces another match between Ziggler & Ryder later tonight.
...and then Kelly shows up, dressed as a pirate for some reason, makes out with Kermit and heads to the ring.
Ok...we’ve seen these battle royals before, and they’re all the same, so I’ll just go over some details.
AJ dressed as Kitana elicits hearts from me.
Eve dressed as Robin elicits confusion from me.
Natalya being the last one eliminated, by Eve of course, elicits no surprise from me.
After the victory, Beth (who was on commentary, and does a pretty nice job) and Nattie gang up on Eve, but Eve is quickly supported by her BFF’s Kelly and Rhia...uh...Alicia Fox. I guess the message is that the rest of the locker room is standing up to the Sisters of Salvation, but that would only make sense if the Sisters of Salvation were dominant in some form (instead of getting “upset” so often calling it an upset from here on would be upsetting).
Sheamus. Beaker. Face-to-face. Awesome.
Decent Air Boom match, with Kofi taking the rare role of “beat me up so I can give the hot tag to my partner” after a very nice reversal by Cody (anticipating Kofi jumping on the ropes to attack him, and kicking the ropes so that he loses his balance by doing so). Cody eventually takes a painful-looking bump by landing on his ass, allowing Kofi to make the tag to Bourne, who goes nuts until Barrett tries to turn his momentum into Wasteland, but Bourne shifts that same momentum into a DDT of his own (and people were surprised to learn he failed the wellness test). Barrett eventually manages to hit the Wasteland anyway, chalking up another victory for his resurgence.
Christian comes in and helps the heel duo beat up on Air Boom, seemingly for the sole reason of allowing Sheamus (who’s one of the few people the crowd went nuts for all night) to make a live appearance. However, I’ll go a step further and say that we’re seeing the beginning of Team Christian vs. Team Sheamus...remember that a certain PPV is right around the corner.
Our favorite text-happy interim GM is confronted by Punk, who calls shenanigans on Del Rio’s interference robbing him of his title shot. Laurinaitis replies by promising Punk his title match, if he can convince ADR to give it to him.
And away Punk goes...
NEXT WEEK!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM WRESTLE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!
Wait he...he’s been in the WWE for awhile now? Ok. Dude’s still rad.
This match begins with Show dominating early due to his physical stature, and Del Rio not sure what to do about it. All of Del Rio’s offense seemingly just bounces off of Show, leading to what looks like might be an early and decisive victory for the giant. That is, until Del Rio traps him in a sleeper hold, which proves to be very effective, and suddenly Del Rio’s gameplan changes to a much slower and methodical one. From here on, every time Show fights back, Del Rio quickly locks him in another sleeper/submission, draining Show of his energy. Eventually, Show manages to fight his way out of a leg hold and go for the chokeslam, but Del Rio reverses this into a DDT. Sensing that victory is near, Del Rio goes for his enzuigiri, but Show knocks him out mid-air with a desperation KO punch.
Very nice flow and story to this match, even if it was a bit slow.
Not one to miss an opportunity, Punk’s music quickly hits. Punk makes his way to the ring (locking eyes with Show on the way...nice to see the WWE acknowledge their history), throws water on Del Rio to wake him up, and puts him in the rarely-seen Anaconda Vise until he agrees to a title match.
Wait...Punk? Title match? Dare I get optimistic?
Also, apparently torture is now ok, as long as it’s for something you want, and it’s on a foreigner. I swear, the WWE needs to have GI Joe-esque PSA’s for this stuff.
Gonzo gets his arms stretched waaaaay out by Swagger & Ziggler. Like that He-Man lizard guy. You know who I’m talking about. Nevermind.
The beginning of our Vickie & Co. double feature!
Nothing really notable for most of this match, except a “We want Ryder!” chant (always welcome). Beaker shows up at ringside to give Santino a mysterious energy drink, Santino reacts by drinking it and promptly spitting it into Swaggers face, then rolling him up for the pin.
Although we seem to be getting this match a notable amount lately, this was still a fun little match. Ziggler continues to make Ryder look great (not a knock on Ryder, more a comment on Ziggler’s amazing ability to sell), as the two go back and forth for a surprising amount of the match. Ryder eventually gets a three-count, but the referee quickly realizes that Dolph’s foot was on the rope and waves it off (hmm...I seem to recall a certain COO doing just the opposite at a PPV not long ago). The match continues, which surely means a victory for Ziggler, except it totally doesn’t as Dolph misses with a Zig Zag, and Zack follows up with a Rough Ryder!
Instead of this happening, Cole just makes fun of JR’s ass.
Moving on...
Explains alot, actually. Serious tag-team potential here...it’s the only way Morrison’s going to hold company gold again (hey-oh!)
Also, Cody Rhodes puts a paper bag on Kermit. Somehow, this was much more awesome than it sounds.
Statler & Waldorf unknowingly mock Miz & Cena’s match at WrestleMania, and this match is underway. The crowd is really into this one (after a pretty quiet night), with Cena eliciting some sort of emotion from everyone in the building (which, as I’ve stated before, is his unique charm). At first this looks like a typical Cena squash, complete with the 5 moves of doom, until Miz fights out of the AA and starts hitting signature moves of his own. The two actually have quite a good back-and-forth bout (making Miz look much better than I expected), until the two take it to the outside rail, and some dude in a Scream mask interferes with Cena (I’m pretty sure it’s not R-Truth though). From this point, Cena decides to destroy both Miz and his new masked opponent, who turns out to be R-Truth (...that’s what I said). And here I thought We Hate Cena guy had finally lost it.
The show ends with Cena looking like a champ, and we can only guess that this match at Survivor Series will be more about Cena and Rock one-upping eachother than any legit threat from the Awesome Truth.
On that last point...I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t like the move for Miz & R-Truth, who had been settling into this disruptive role quite nicely. On the other hand, it had to end sometime (and was probably about to run its course anyway)...plus it’s the fucking ROCK and CENA. But for this very same reason...I actually see Miz & Truth winning at Survivor Series due to tension between Cena and The Rock, which would make total sense, since the Awesome Truth have no tension. However, for what Miz & Truth lack in tension, they also lack in talent, compared to two “generational” superstars. Plus, it’s the fucking ROCK and CENA! It’s hard to ignore. It’ll be especially hard to ignore when it becomes the main event of the show, over Punk/Del Rio (which actually bodes well for Punk...nothing would fire up the crowd more than a Punk title victory...again, dare I be optimistic?).
Overall, this week’s show was actually saved by the Muppets, who really did a great job and integrated into the fabric of the show seamlessly (which they always seem to do). They capitalized on two fantastic opportunities (Sheamus & Beaker, Miss Piggy & Vickie), but missed a couple others (Statler & Waldorf were utilized throughout the show but it would’ve been RAD if they commentated a full match, and a severe lack of Rowlf for some reason). Other than that, it was a pretty standard show...solid, but not groundbreaking.
I honestly can’t believe that this is the third straight week of Lawler and Cole. To think, this was a pretty standard duo for quite awhile. There is a severe lack of Booker T and/or JR and/or somebody else on Raw.
Sheamus. Beaker. Face-to-face. Still can’t believe how awesome.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
World Wildlife Fund logo, held by some dude in a panda bear costume.
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