MichaelC: Who loves Royal Rumbles? Yep, everybody. So many legendary performances over the years. Austin in the 90s, Flair 92, DiBiase 90, Punk 2010, Diesel 94. All brilliant. But also well remembered by most fans, so we’re not looking at them.
What I’m interested in here are the great Rumble performances that get overlooked. So, in honour of the “25th anniversary” of the Rumble match, let’s go looking for Rumble performances you ought to love... if only you’d remember them. (Except in 1989, where, on trying on find a forgotten gem of a performance between Ron Bass and Nikolai Volkoff, I gave up and read some R.L. Stine instead).
Some might be obvious. Some might be left field. Others still might need reappraising. All of them are awesome.
Oh yes, you say, how obvious, he’s going to fill this with all of his favourites. True, but only if it’s warranted, and here it is. For in 1989, we see the creation of a famous rumble trope. You know the one. “Hold onto the top rope for dear life on a near elimination.” Many greats have taken it to extremes. But it didn’t really exist in 1988, due to the vague rule of being eliminated “once you go over the top rope”. Not to worry, come 1989, and a certain Mr Hennig was about to mould the shape of all Rumbles to follow from this point on.
He drew #4, a number we will see again on this list, and shared the ring with no less than Andre the Giant, Demolition, Jake the Snake, Randy Savage, Greg Valentine, both Rockers, half the Four Horsemen and Hulk Hogan. Oh, and Bushwacker Butch. As you might guess from such stellar company, Mr Perfect found himself on the other side of a lot of punishment. He got squashed by Andre, exchanged shots with Shawn Michaels (and gave him an idea on how to sell moves for later into the bargain), and even eliminated the much larger Demolition Ax, right after Gorilla Monsoon reassured the audience Hennig had no chance of doing so.
But then, when you are going to be in the ring for half an hour, and in the company of established stars, as a relative newcomer you could fade into the distance. Not for Hennig! He dived into showdowns with everyone in the ring, which usually wound up in him diving over the top rope and hanging on for dear life on one of the ropes. What this would do of course is make the cameras focus on him. Shawn Michaels later called this trick, which he performed to similar standards in 1994, “doing a Hennig”.
For being one of the most memorable things in a rumble with about a dozen certain Hall of Famers, and showing us all the drama you could draw out of people hanging onto ropes in uncertain moments, you could say Mr Perfect invented Royal Rumble history on this night. So whilst we remember Andre, the Twin Towers, DiBiase, the Mega Powers, etc, he is right up there.
Joint award. Two men who come out right after each other, spend ten minutes each in the ring, and yet fit more drama into their 10 minutes than others would in forty.
For all that people remember how bad the 1991 rumble is, it would be much worse without Bulldog. He lasts 37 minutes in the match after drawing #14, and isn’t even in the top three longest performances in the match, outpaced by Martel, Valentine and Hercules. (Yes, a match starring a 40 minute performance by Hercules. Are you surprised this is panned?) In a match where people stand around waiting for their cue to exit, Bulldog is often on a one man mission to inject excitement into things.
Three men for 1992. Roddy Piper is the man of the second half, a fission of energy bubbling through it as Ric Flair begins to tire out for being in the ring an hour. Piper had wrestled earlier, and won the Intercontinental Championship, then returns to the wrestle for half an hour. Bulldog starts off the match, and has the crowd in an ecstasy as he tosses DiBiase, Jerry Sags, Haku and beats on Flair. He lasts 25 minutes, a great performance for him, and everyone dies a little bit when he goes.
Bossman only lasts 3 minutes, but its a match turning three minutes. He runs down, beats up everyone, tosses two men straight off, knocks into Shawn Michaels and Tito Santana so they eliminate each other, and is involved in the elimination of two others. Within three minutes we’ve gone from ten men out there to two: Bossman and Flair. Bossman kills Flair, but a momentum shift and he’s gone. Really, great rumble performances are nothing to do with longevity. It’s what you do. Bossman turned the match right on its head. Job done.
Four eliminations, twenty five minutes. Faces off against The Undertaker, Ric Flair, Bob Backlund, Mr Perfect, Jerry Lawler. Producing a selling masterpiece in a battle royal, not often a remembered thing. On twenty minutes, DiBiase is using the ropes to stand up! He’s the guy you think is being dealt with, but sneaks up and tosses you. The crowd hate him, and LOVE it when he gets his comeuppance via a massive Undertaker chockeslam. Ted DiBiase’s fourth Rumble is his last Rumble, and it’s one of his most memorable.
Bam Bam Bigelow was only in one Royal Rumble match, but he made the most of it. He Iron Manned in 1994, going half an hour. He rid the ring of a clown, earning him the gratitude of all who hate clowns. He bounced around like a maniac for his opponents. He took a Flair Flip out of the ring for his elimination! If you ever wanted to know why people think Bam Bam was one of the most underrated big men wrestling has seen, keep an eye on him during this rumble.
It’s hard to pick anything from the Worst Rumble Ever. Mantaur existing perhaps? All the jobbers? Well, the Mabel v King Kong Bundy showdown causes a momentary excitement in the middle of the match, as Mabel tosses Bundy, and is in turn to cause a massive pop as Lex Luger sprints down to the ring and tosses Mabel like he was a cruiserweight. Outside of Bulldog and Shawn here, yeah, that’ll do it. A rare example of “Mabel”, “1995” and “enjoyable” in the same sentence.
People remember Yokozuna’s Rumble debut in 1993, given that he won and became a main eventer for two years afterwards. His 1996 performance is less remembered, which is a shame. He lasts nearly twenty minutes. Along with Vader, he kills everyone else in the ring at one point. He takes on the mighty King Mabel, and effortlessly eliminated him. For large parts of the rumble, the other competitors show respect by getting the hell out of the way. Even Vader, who fears no man, treats Yokozuna as an equal. Savio Vega spends about ten minutes getting squashed. Then Vader and Yokozuna finally lose it with each other, and a returning Shawn Michaels eliminates both. It’s a complete momentum shift in the Rumble, and a last hoorah for the rapidly falling apart Yokozuna.
The problem with 97 is that all the memorable performances are remembered. Austin/Bret/Taker/Vader? Check. Owen throwing out Bulldog? Check. Ahmed Johnson being an idiot? Check. All those Mexicans no one cares about? Check. Jerry Lawlers mid sentence bit? Check. The rumble debuts of Terry Funk, Mick Foley and The Rock? Check. So, with limited supplies, lets look at Kane.
HOLY SHIT! KANE WAS IN THAT RUMBLE????
Yes, as Diesel. The Fake Diesel. A similar gimmick for Rick Bognar as the Fake Razor Ramon saw his career over before we knew much else. Instead of that, The Fake Diesel spends seventeen minutes in the ring, hits a bunch of moves on folk, winds up in the final three and probably saved his career doing so.
The 1998 rumble is primarily remembered for Steve Austin, The Rock, and Mick Foley, but lets expand beyond that if we can. Its an underrated rumble, in that whilst it is shaped like the 1991 version, the midcard thrown into it try to make the most of the times they are given. And for many, those times are generous indeed. Mosh gets to beat up The Rock. Bradshaw lasts forty minutes, and goes from nonentity to regarded future prospect overnight. Marc Mero breaks the world record for most minutes spent in a battle royal doing bugger all. But the winner of Most Underrated for 1998 is a very obscure choice. When I wrote my acclaimed review of the 1998 show on Rajah Forums, I made reference to great things 8-Ball had done TWENTY-FOUR times in the space of his twenty-five minute performance.
He piledrives Terry Funk, avoid multiple near eliminations, jumps up and down on the back of D’lo Brown, and, in his finest moment, a running corner avalanche onto Goldust.
He was the last person I ever expected to have a good rumble performance to his name, so he had to go on the list.
Road Dogg and Bossman fought in the opener at the 99 Rumble. Amusingly, they then did their best to save the Rumble itself. Road Dogg is the least remembered participant to do a Dieseling, probably because he is the least likely person to HAVE done it. He is, to use a never used phrase these days, over like Rover. Then Bossman comes in late on, and does his heel bit to expert levels. This poorly thought of Rumble would be worse off without both of these men giving it their all.
Rikishi’s run in the 2000 Royal Rumble, where he kills everyone, made him one of the biggest faces in the WWF. But as much as his Dieseling and dance/elimination of 2 Cool helped, his short match with Viscera did much to cement him. Viscera comes in #8, and promptly kills Rikishi. A massive suplex then some corner splashes. But then Rikishi gets out of the way, and Viscera eats the corner. Four straight superkicks only daze Viscera, then a clothesline almost knocks him out, so Rikishi throws him out. And the crowd goes absolutely BANANAS. It’s a brilliantly booked two minute segment, which makes Rikishi even more over for surviving, and a large part of it is down to Viscera.
Bossman came out next. Rikishi had eliminated everyone else in the match so far. Bossman fakes entering the ring many times, but is too smart to fully enter the ring. All that leads to is elimination after all. The crowd jeer loudly, so Bossman turns to celebrate with them! Alas for him, his arch enemy Test is next out, but his old school heel tactics slowed down Rikishi’s run. From then on, he produces a performance right out of Ted Dibiase 1993. Bossman is there to toss a fan favourite right when it looked brilliant for them. A favourite moment is his casually elbowing Chyna off the apron to elimination land just seconds after she tossed Chris Jericho. Just like DiBiase in 1993, the fans are clamouring for someone to take out Bossman, and that comes in the role of The Rock.
Finally, little Crash Holly also gets eliminated by The Rock, after lasting fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes where we went for every big guy in the match and tried them on. Crash spent 2000 as one of the most over underdogs in the companys history. The rumble set him on that path.
Kane dominated in 2001. Finally The Rock came to slow that path of destruction down, but then the two men combined tossed Goodfather and Tazz. Out next came Bradshaw, who clotheslined and kicked his way into surviving. All over the match, Bradshaw was beating the tar out of folk.
Albert gets the nod also, for one solitary moment. Mere minutes earlier five men tried to get Kane to his knees, and had trouble doing so. Even then, Kane was right back up, laughing and throwing them all out. In comes Albert, who sees Kanes momentum and reputation, and proceeds to KICK HIS FACE OFF. Kane is down, and not getting up. The massive gasp that erupts from the audience is well earned.
In the middle part of the 2002 rumble, Christian acts as the bridge between Undertakers rampage and the Austin/HHH showdown. His 12 minutes is actually one of the top runs in that rumble, but, as I’ve said before, it’s not how long you are, but what you do. The moment where Christian, seeing the injured Scotty 2 Hotty limp to the ring, takes time out by lying down...on the top rope...is a massive heel favourite move. He teams with Palumbo to take out The Godfather not long after Godfather had returned. He has his hand in three eliminations, and produces some nice short matches with a variety of opponents. A memorable vignette.
Speaking of memorable vignettes, the 2003 award goes to the ten minutes of the match directly after Shawn Michaels elimination at the start. It’s just mind blowingly awesome.
The 2004 rumble belongs to four men: Benoit, Orton, Angle and The Big Show. His twenty-two minute performance towers over everyone. He eliminates men with ease. Six men can’t toss him. Goldberg spears him. He takes everyones finishers, but still keeps on going. It takes the superlative efforts of Benoit to toss him. Performances like this are why The Big Show enjoys a high reputation. His finest moment is the elimination of Kurt Angle, one of the greatest in the entire history of the Rumble.
He comes in, kills Paul London in a highlight reel special, goes to toe to toe with his big enemy Kane, beats on John Cena, and is eliminated after a big man show down with Batista. Total in ring time? Nearly three minutes.
Lashley enters, beats the hell out of Triple H, The Big Show and Kane. He tosses Slyvan like ease. He’s gone in a mere 3 minutes again, but for the audience who didn’t see Smackdown, his name was made within sixty seconds of that.
Hard to pick for 2007, but I guess Carlito’s attempt at stealing the show – eliminated via Khali chop mid-high flying move –did elicit a gasp from the crowd.
Morrison lasts nearly forty minutes in 2008, and spends most of it kicking people.
Another 3 minuter of note.
Eliminates Big Show and Mark Henry, beats on Shawn Michaels and John Cena, and has the most inventive elimination of the 2010 rumble. Another 3 minuter of note.
He kicked a midget in the face.
What more needs to be said?
Michael S Collins, Blogsmith Extraordinaire
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