WWE Raw 01/30
We are live in: Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
_______________________________________________
Intro video plays. Camera cuts to the arena.
John Laurinaitis comes out and heads to the ring. He shakes the hands of people around ringside before entering the ring with a microphone in his hand.
He begins by saying he's looking forward to his performance review later tonight. He's done a good job. He has made mistakes, but name one successful man who hasn't made a mistake. A wise man once told him that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you don't make the same mistakes twice. He has not done that, so he is confident that after tonight he will be named the permanent General Manager of Raw. After all, his review is being done by one of the greatest superstars of all time, and a good friend of his, Triple H. His performance at the Royal Rumble pay per view was exemplary. He was the special guest referee, and he called it right down the middle. They're on the road to WrestleMania, and Elimination Chamber is the one stop along the way. At Elimination Chamber, CM Punk will defend his WWE Championship against five other superstars in an Elimination Chamber match.
We get an image of the six participants in the Elimination Chamber match: CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, R-Truth, and Chris Jericho.
He says we'll all enjoy watching that on February 19th. But tonight's very special. Beth Phoenix will defend the Divas Championship against Eve, Kofi Kingston will face The Miz, Dolph Ziggler faces Randy Orton, and for the first time ever World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan will take on WWE Champion CM Punk. And if that's not enough-
CM Punk comes out to interrupt Laurinaitis. He stands at the top of the ramp with a microphone as well. He clears his throat and starting singing.
CM Punk: "Nah-nah-nah-nah! Nah-nah-nah-nah! Hey Hey Hey! Goodbye!"
The fans sing along as CM Punk goes around the ring telling everyone, even getting Jerry Lawler and Justin Roberts, to sing with him. He then gets in the ring and sings in front of John before finishing up with:
CM Punk: "Goodbye, clown shoes!"
Laurinaitis says that he thinks Punk owes him an apology. He thought he was going to screw him over last night, but he didn't because he is a man of his word.
Punk says he doesn't owe him anything, least of all an apology. As far as him being a man of his word, he's not. He's a liar, unless of course he's being a man of his word with that word being "poorly dressed", "corporate patsy", "ham sandwich", "dork", "dorkface" perhaps. He says he only came out here so they could face each other one last time before he gets eighty-sixed by Triple H. But since is the last time they'll be seeing each other, he wants to say that he's given him great enjoyment and entertainment over the past few weeks. The way he has no idea how to speak clearly into a microphone has given him a whole lot of belly laughs. The way he trips and stammers over simple words like he doesn't have a single grasp on the English language. His favorite is how he found a way to both suck AND blow at the same time. Very entertaining for all the wrong reasons. Don't get him wrong, he's not Triple H's biggest supporter, but he can't wait until he walks out here and kicks his lanky, sorry, underachieving, worthless carcass out the front door.
Laurinaitis says he's not going to take what he says personally. It's about business. The Board of Directors are all about business. He knows, and the Board knows, that he's very honest, fair, creative, and he's taken Raw and Punk's WWE Championship to new heights. On a personal note, he would like to put his difference aside and start anew.
Laurinaitis offers a handshake. Punk gives a snide look to the camera.
He asks John if he's sleepy. Because the only way he would extend the hand of the best wrestler in the world is if he wanted to go to sleep.
Daniel Bryan comes out with the World Heavyweight Championship. He heads down and enters the ring while showboating to the fans. He took has a microphone.
Daniel Bryan: "Hey everyone, it's me. The World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan!"
They DO remember him, right? He gives a little insight. Nobody cares about their petty personal problems. While they're conducting their little soap operas, he was winning a steel cage match against the world's strongest man and the world's largest athlete. He doesn't think that everyone truly appreciates the magnitude of his accomplishments last night. He knows that Mr. Laurinaitis is trying to save his job by giving the Universe a momentous first time match, and no disrespect to Punk, but compared to last night, he's not much of a challenge.
Punk: "You're right. All I am is the best wrestler in the world."
Bryan says that's great, that's wonderful, that's truly excellent. But he's more than just a wrestler. He's a role model. He's a vegan! He doesn't even eat meat!
Punk says he knows all that, but since he brought it up that begs the question...what DOES he eat?
Bryan says if he makes any more wisecracks like that, he'll take his pipebomb and stick it where the sun don't shine.
Punk says they've known each other a decade, they're friends. Clown shoes is trying to stir up trouble between them. But how about tonight, they just give Kansas City a show. He's the World Heavyweight Champion, and Punk is the WWE Champion. Let's give Kansas City the best wrestling match in the world.
Now Sheamus, the 2012 Royal Rumble winner, comes out and heads into the ring. Cole mentions that he'll get to pick either champion to face at WrestleMania. Sheamus grabs a microphone.
He says he hates to break up the little love fest, but he just had to come out to remind everyone that he's the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble match. He'd also like to remind the two of them that at the upcoming Elimination Chamber pay per view they'll be defending their championships. And so he doesn't feel out, he would like to remind Mr. Laurinaitis that he could be fired.
Sheamus: "Better loosen that tie up, yeah?"
He'd also like to remind everybody that he has earned the right to be in the main event of WrestleMania. And with a bit of luck of the Irish, he'll be the next WWE...or World Heavyweight Champion. Good luck to both of them. As for Laurinaitis, he'd like to say a great ol' Irish saying:
Sheamus: "May Triple H kick ya in the ass so hard you'll be throwing up your lace covered undies...and your bra!"
Sheamus exits the ring and heads up the ramp. Laurinaitis exits the ring leaving Punk and Bryan standing face to face. They shake hands.
Up next, Randy Orton takes on Dolph Ziggler.
[Commercial Break]
We come back to a replay of last month on Smackdown during the Randy Orton/Wade Barrett Falls Count Anywhere match when Barrett tossed Randy down a flight of stairs.
Back at ringside, we cut to Josh Matthews standing next to Wade Barrett in a luxury box. Barrett will be watching over the Orton/Ziggler match while answering any questions given from Cole and Lawler.
Randy Orton comes out first and heads to the ring.
Dolph Ziggler comes out next along with Vickie Guerrero. He heads to the ring.
We get told that Orton will go one on one with Barrett this Friday.
[Match #1]
[Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler]
[Singles Match]
The bell sounds. Orton and Ziggler tie up. Ziggler brings Orton into a corner. It looks like Ziggler's going to break, but he drives a knee into Orton instead. He lands a punch and whips Orton into the ropes, but Orton counters and sends Dolph into them instead. Orton drops down and Dolph jumps over him. Ziggler off the ropes again and Orton leap frogs over him. He turns around and ducks for a back body drop, but this time Ziggler leap frogs over Orton. Orton turns for a counterattack, but Ziggler grabs the ropes, stops himself, and does a quick strut across the ring. They tie up once again. This time Orton applies a side headlock. He snapmares Ziggler down and keeps the headlock applied. Dolph gets to his feet and shoves Orton off of him. Randy runs off the ropes and shoulder tackles Ziggler down. Orton pushes Ziggler into a corner, climbs up on him and hits a ten count of punches. Orton whips Ziggler, but Ziggler counters it. Orton hits the turnbuckle, but powers off and knocks Dolph down with a clothesline. Orton grabs Ziggler and drives his head into the turnbuckle. He hits a European uppercut and then whips Ziggler into another turnbuckle. He runs forward and Ziggler manages to stop him with an elbow to the face. He knocks him down with a dropkick and both men are down.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, and Ziggler has a sleeper submission on Orton. Orton rams Ziggler into a turnbuckle and lands a few punches. He whips Orton into the opposite turnbuckle and runs at him, but Ziggler quickly kicks him back knocking him down. He covers for a two count. Ziggler goes for a body splash, but Orton moves out of the way and Dolph hits the turnbuckle. While stumbling out of it, Ziggler gets hit with a clothesline from Orton followed by a second one. Ziggler goes for a clothesline of his own, but Orton ducks it, spins around and goes for the powerslam, but Dolph manages to pull the brakes and catch Randy with another dropkick. He covers for another two count. Ziggler grabs Orton and hits a neckbreaker. He does a few sit-ups next to Orton before getting back up. Dolph climbs to the top rope. Orton turns around and knocks Ziggler onto the turnbuckle pad. Randy punches Ziggler, then climbs up to the top with him and hits a superplex. He covers for a two count.
Orton up. Ziggler up. Ziggler goes to attack, but Orton blocks and counters with punches. He then hits his two clothesline, ducks a clothesline attempt from Dolph, and manages to hit the powerslam he was looking for earlier. Orton grabs Dolph and puts him on the apron. He goes for the DDT, but Dolph slips behind Orton and applies the sleeper submission. Orton snapmare Ziggler off of him and backs himself into a corner. Dolph runs over and Orton decks him before rolling him up into a pin for a two count. Ziggler gets up first and hits the bulldog legdrop for a two count. Ziggler gets up and goes for Zig Zag, but Orton grabs the ropes to prevent it. He runs over to Dolph and clotheslines him out of the ring. Orton heads out and tosses Ziggler into the barricade before putting him back on the apron. He grabs Dolph by the head and hits the DDT off the apron. Orton signals for the RKO and hits it. He covers for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Randy Orton]
Wade Barrett continues to watch Randy from atop the luxury box with a look of disgust.
Later tonight, CM Punk takes on Daniel Bryan in a Champion vs. Champion match. Also, a new inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.
-Commercial Break-
Back from break, we get a recap of the Cena/Kane match from the Royal Rumble which ended in a countout. Kane brings an injured Ryder to the ring and hits a tombstone on him. Cena comes out to save him and Kane chokeslams him.
Cut to backstage. Laurinaitis is seen talking to some of the backstage crew. He walks over to William Regal and asks him how his sons were doing. He actually has two daughters who are conjoined twins. Laurinaitis says fifth grade is a hard year, isn't it? Regal says he keeps them locked up in the attic. Laurinaitis pats him on the back and walks off. He goes over to Curt Hawkins and says hi to him before leaving.
-Commercial Break-
We're back, and "Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay comes out for his match...giant disco ball now included!
His opponent, already at ringside, is Tyler Reks.
[Match #2]
[Brodus Clay vs. Tyker Reks]
[Singles Match]
The bell sounds. They tie up, and Brodus pushes him down. He jiggles a bit, and then lands a couple punches before hitting a bionic elbow to the head. Clay whips Reks into the ropes. Reks holds on and boots Clay in the face. Tyler runs over and nails Brodus with a front dropkick. Clay is against the ropes and Tyler starts clubbing him with axe handles. Brodus shrugs them off, gets back up and drops Tyler with a belly to belly suplex. Clay pushes Reks from behind, knocks him into the ropes and drops him with a clothesline to the back of the head. Brodus runs the ropes and hits What The Funk on Reks for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Brodus Clay]
Later tonight, HHH will evaluate John Laurinaitis. Will he be fired?
Cut to backstage. We see the WWE Championship title. The camera pans out and we're in CM Punk's dressing room with Punk tying his laces. Bryan walks over to him. Punk says they've been friends a long time, and all the stuff that was said in the ring earlier about being a role model, he doesn't think that people think he's a role model. They're underdogs who made it to the top. Word to the wise, he doesn't think a lot of people know what a Vegan is.
Bryan says a Vegan is someone who doesn't condone the slaughter of innocent animals. Eating meat is like putting poison in your mouth. It clogs your arteries. With every bite of meat, the screaming of animals in agony should be heard. He also doesn't think a whole lot of people know what Straight Edge is either.
Punk says he knows what a Vegan is, and Bryan knows what Straight Edge is. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do drugs, but unlike Bryan he doesn't claim to be a role model. He's just the best wrestler in the world.
Bryan walks away leave Punk with a smirk on his face.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, and CM Punk comes out first. He heads to the ring.
Daniel Bryan comes out next, and he heads to the ring.
[Match #3]
[CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan]
[Champion vs. Champion Match]
The bell sounds. The two shake hands and tie up. Punk with a side headlock that takes Bryan down to one knee. Bryan shoves Punk into the ropes and Punk knocks him down with a shoulder tackle. Punk runs the ropes and jumps over Bryan. Bryan to his feet and he leapfrogs over Punk. Punk on the rebound and Bryan knocks him down with a dropkick. Bryan grabs Punk's legs and goes for a surfboard submission, but Punk fights it off. Instead Bryan jumps on the back of Punk's legs. Bryan kicks Punk in the chest and then hits a European uppercut. Punk knocks Bryan back with a punch of his own. Punk snapmares Bryan down and kicks him in the back. He covers for a two count. Punk applies a chinlock, but quickly changes it to a knee to the back. He lifts Daniel up and scoop slams him. Punk off the ropes for a leg drop, but Bryan rolls out of the way and kicks Punk down. He drops a knee against Punk's face to keep him down. He drops a second one, then grabs Punk's arm and twists it back before stomping his foot. Bryan works the arm of Punk, but Punk gets back to his feet. Bryan with another European Uppercut. He whips Punk into the ropes and goes for a spin kick, but Punk hangs onto the ropes. Bryan runs after him and punk back body drops him over the ropes and to the outside.
Punk gets on the apron and drops a standing elbow on Bryan's head. The two hit each other with dueling European Uppercuts before Bryan whips Punk over a barricade. Daniels slides back into the ring. Punk slides back in at the count of nine. Bryan with more kicks to Punk followed by a side headlock. Punk fights out of it with a back suplex. He rolls onto the apron. Bryan gets up and Punk hits him with a springboard flying clothesline for a two count. Punk grabs Bryan and hits a backbreaker for another two count. Up once more and Punk chops Bryan into the turnbuckle. He whips Bryan, Bryan counters. Daniels goes for a running dropkick, but Punk moves out of the way and Bryan hits the turnbuckle. Punk covers for a two count. Punk grabs Bryan and applies a chinlock. Bryan back up and Punk whips him into the turnbuckle, but Bryan backflips off the turnbuckle, ducks a clothesline, and both men hit each other with cross body blocks.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break and Bryan is working on Punk's right arm. While holding Punk's side against the mat, Bryan stretches out Punk's arm by arcing his leg and pressing down on it. The shoulders are down so it counts as a pin, but only gets a two count. Bryan grabs Punk and hits a snap suplex. Bryan taunts the crowd and climbs to the top rope. He goes for a move off the top, but Punk manages to stop him with a boot. Punk with chops across the chest. He then climbs up on the turnbuckle and drops Bryan with a hurricarana. Both men are up. Bryan goes for a kick, but Punk punches him back, whips him into the ropes and hits a dropkick of his own. He follows it up with a clothesline followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Bryan at the corner and Punk hits a running high knee followed by a running bulldog. Punk signals for the GTS. He lifts Bryan up, but Daniels slips out of it and heads outside. Punk hits Bryan with a baseball slide. Punk runs the ropes and Daniel knocks him back with a forearm shot. Bryan climbs to the top of the turnbuckle of hits a missile dropkick. He covers for a two count. Bryan gets back up. He lands three hard kicks to the chest. He goes for a kick to the head, but Punk ducks it and rolls Bryan up for a two count. Bryan with a clothesline, but Punk ducks that and grabs him from behind for a German suplex. Daniel lands on his feet, runs up to Punk and scores a hurricarana, but Punk sunset flips into a pin for another two count.
Bryan flips back up to his feet and lands a kick to the back of the head of Punk. He rolls him over and only gets a two count. Bryan gets up, picks up Punk and carries him to a corner. He places Punk on top of the turnbuckle and goes up with him. He's looking for a superplex, but Punk punches and headbutts him down. Punk stands up and hits a top rope elbow drop for a two count. Punk grabs Bryan and goes for GTS, but Bryan backslides Punk into a pinning position for a two count. Right away Bryan grabs Punk's arm and applies the Lebell Lock submission. Punk fights out of it, grabs Bryan's legs and slingshots him into the turnbuckle. Daniel staggers and Punk roundhouse kicks him in the head knocking him against the apron. Suddenly, Chris Jericho comes running down the ramp, grabs Bryan and tosses him into the barricade. The referee rings the bell. Jericho slides into the ring, waits for Punk to turn around and hits him with The Codebreaker. Jericho looks down at Punk for a moment before exiting the ring. Roberts announces that Bryan wins as a result of a disqualification due to Jericho hitting him first.
[Winner via Disqualification: Daniel Bryan]
Punk looks over at Jericho standing at the top of the ramp smirking at the fans. Nobody seems to know why Jericho would do this other than both of them being in the Elimination Chamber match.
Another inductee is added into the Hall of Fame, and it's "Iron" Mike Tyson. A video package plays of Tyson's importance in WWE. Tyson played a big role in promoting the main event of WrestleMania 14, and he has also appeared as a Guest Host for Raw.
Back at ringside, R-Truth comes out and heads down to the ring. He'll be providing guest commentary for the Miz/Kofi Kingston match.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break and R-Truth is sitting with Lawler and Cole.
Kingston comes out first and heads to the ring for his match.
The Miz comes out next. He stands at the top of the ramp with a microphone.
Miz says that last night at the Royal Rumble match, Kingston got a huge ovation by doing a handstand.
The Miz: "A handstand? Really? Really?! Really."
Miz heads down to the ring.
He was the number one entrant in the Rumble and lasted over forty five minutes. He lasted longer than every single superstar. More than five former World Heavyweight Champions and two Hall of Famers combined. His road to main eventing WrestleMania has had a couple detours, but no mistake about it, he'll beat Kofi Kingston and everyone else in the Elimination Chamber match. He'll go on to main event WrestleMania because he's The Miz and he's...awesome.
Miz enters the ring.
[Match #4]
[The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston]
[Singles Match]
Bell sounds. Miz and Kofi tie up. Miz gets behind Kofi, but Kofi spins out of it and applies a side headlock to Miz. Miz lands a couple punches and pushes Kofi into the ropes. Kingston ducks an attempted punch, ducks a clothesline, and slides underneath Miz's legs. Miz manages to grab him and club him in the face a few times. Miz then runs the ropes and kicks Kingston in the face. Miz covers for a two count. Miz kicks Kingston while he's down and then punches him into a corner. He lands a couple knees to the face before backing off. Kingston fights back with punches of his own and then whips Miz into the turnbuckle. Kingston with a body splash attempt, but Miz moves out of the way and hits a running knee to the face. Miz stops to look over at Truth before going back to Kingston. He goes to grab Kingston, but Kofi catches him in a small package for a two count.
Miz gets up right away and knocks Kofi down with a clothesline. Kofi leans against a corner. Miz runs over and hits a running clothesline. He then goes to the top rope and connects with an axe handle smash for a two count. Miz applies a headlock submission. Kofi fights it for a bit, then gets to his feet and punches Miz off him. Kofi runs the ropes and gets him into a sunset flip roll up for a two count. Miz gets up first, kicks Kofi and drops him with a snap DDT for a two count. Miz waits for Kofi to get back up. He goes for another running clothesline, but Kofi knocks him back with a pendulum overhead kick. Kingston climbs to the top and hits a lateral cross body for a two count. Both men get up, Miz kicks Kingston in the back and goes for his modified knee drop/neckbreaker combo. He only gets the knee before Kofi slips out of the move. Kingston goes for S.O.S., but Miz pushes him into the ropes. Kingston bounces off and goes for a flying chop, but Miz grabs him from behind. He goes for Skull Crushing Finale, and Kingston rolls him off. Kingston at the corner. Miz goes for a spear, but Kingston lifts his legs up and Miz hits nothing but post. Miz turns around and gets hit with Trouble in Paradise. Kingston covers him for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Kofi Kingston]
They quickly show an image of Kofi standing on his hands to avoid elimination during the Rumble.
Backstage, Laurinaitis is texting on his phone. His legal advisor
David Otunga goes over to him. Laurinaitis asks him if he's seen Triple H yet. He says that's he's getting a little anxious.
Otunga says don't be. He's done everything possible to help influence the decision tonight.
Laurinaitis asks him what he means by that. He then asks if he's after his job.
Otunga says no. He's quite content with his present position. He enjoys being legal council to Laurinaitis. He's sure it'll work out.
Laurinaitis pats him on the shoulder. Otunga leaves and John is looking nervous.
[Commercial Break]
We're back, and at ringside Cole and Lawler talk about John Cena vs. Rock at WrestleMania.
They show the same promotional package for The Rock that they showed at Royal Rumble.
Up next, Beth Phoenix defends the WWE Diva's Championship against Eve.
[Commercial Break]
-Back, and Eve comes out for her match. She enters the ring looking scared and paranoid about Kane showing up.
Beth Phoenix comes out next. She heads into the ring.
[Match #5]
[Beth Phoenix(c) vs. Eve]
[WWE Diva's Championship Match]
The bell sounds. Eve charges at Beth and punches her into a corner. The referee backs her up allowing Beth to knock Eve down with a running clothesline. She then lifts Eve up and drops her with Glam Slam for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall and still Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix]
Even is still down on the mat when Kane's entrance plays. Kane appears on the TitanTron.
He asks Eve how it feels to know that everything that happened to her friend Ryder could've been avoided if John Cena simply embraced the hate. Instead, he continues to falsely rise above and look past him on his way to The Rock at WrestleMania. Fact is, until Cena truly embraces the hate, he can't beat him, and he can't beat The Rock. He will continue to inflict as much pain as inhumanly possible on Zack Ryder until Cena embraces the hate and gets that message. Tonight, he's going to use Eve as a conduit to pass that message along.
Fire shoots up from the ramp and Kane's music plays again. Even is frozen with fear in the ring. Suddenly, Kane appears from behind her. He enters the ring and walks towards her. Suddenly, John Cena comes out. He runs down the ramp, slide into the ring and he and Kane brawl in the ring trading punches. Kane tries to run away, but Cena catches him. Kane fights back a bit by knocking him into the barricade, but Cena fights back as well. The two keep going back and forth until Cena whips Kane shoulder first into the ring steps. He grabs Kane by the head and slams it against the steps. Cena then takes the upper part of the steps, lifts them up and smacks Kane with it. He waits for Kane to get up and smacks him again.
John Cena: "Every time you get up, i'll knock you down!"
Kane gets up again, and sure enough Cena hits him once more. Kane lies motionless. Cena drops the steps and goes over to the commentary table. He pulls monitors and wires off of the table. Cena turns to Roberts and asks for a microphone. He goes back to a rising Kane and smacks him in the head with it before speaking.
John Cena: "We're gonna have a party up in here!"
Cena takes Kane and brings him over to the commentary table. He goes for Attitude Adjustment, laughing as he does so, but Kane fights out of it and disappears into the crowd. Cena calls him a coward, heads into the ring, and celebrates his small victory over Kane tonight.
Backstage, Laurinaitis is seen heading to the ring for his evaluation up next.
[Commercial Break]
We're back from our final break of the night, and John Laurinaitis comes out. He heads down to the ring and grabs a microphone.
He says he's been looking forward to this all week. Before Triple H comes out to give his performance review, he wants to say a few things. While most people may be nervous and dread this situation, he's not because he knows what he's done on Raw, and he knows each of them has appreciated it. Raw ratings have been up versus a year ago, that's a fact. In WWE, during a performance review process, every employee goes through a self assessment. This means that each employee will grade themselves on a scale from zero to five, zero being the lowest, five being the highest, on different areas. All he's gotta say is that he gave himself a lot of fives. Delivers quality results: five. Creative, artistic impressions: five. Communicates effectively: five. Builds teamwork: five. There's many things that he's done very well, and that's why-
Triple H comes out. He heads into the ring wearing his business suit. The two shake hands and HHH is given a microphone.
Triple H: "Gave yourself a lot of fives, huh? You do realize that's a big number than four or three, right?"
He says to forget his performance assessment. This is pretty simple. He's been watching him for awhile because ever since he took the role of General Manager from him, he thought he'd do a pretty good job. Unlike anyone else who has been in that role, he's spineless, gutless, not very swift, and he didn't think that he would see the obvious grab for power, but he was wrong. He was no different from anyone else. In fact he was quite worse than anybody else. He didn't just grab the power, he used it to do the one thing he couldn't do when he was in the ring. He tried to use the role to make himself a star.
Laurinaitis says he respects his opinion, he respects him, but he's got it all wrong. That's not what he was doing.
Triple H tells him to not lie and make it worse. He personally involved himself in a lot of things. He was personally involved in the WWE Championship match at the Royal Rumble, among other numerous things, he puts himself in the show week after week to the detriment of others all to serve his personal agenda to make himself a star.
John Laurinaitis: "To make Raw better."
The COO says that when Vince ran Raw, he let personal decisions cloud his judgment and had to be replaced. When he ran Raw, he let personal decisions cloud his judgment and he had to be replaced. He has left personal decisions cloud his already questionable judgment numerous times.
Laurinaitis says to please not do this. He'll do anything to keep his job.
Triple H tells him to repeat himself. He does. He'll do anything. Wow. That's a broad statement. That's one of his problems in an Executive Position, he's very vague with direction. That leaves a lot to interpretation. An-nee-thing. That's really broad. He could make him do anything. He could make him take that microphone and apologize to everyone in the WWE Universe. If they're willing to accept and they believe it, he'll reconsider his stance.
Laurinaitis says to the fans that Triple H has just show him the errors of his ways, letting personal situations cloud his judgment. There's an old saying 'to err is human, to forgive is divine', so he'd like to take the opportunity to apologize to each and every one of them for his mistakes and if he offended anybody. Please take his heartfelt apology into consideration. He's sorry.
Triple H asks the fans what they think.
They boo loudly.
He says he'll be honest with him; the fans were so loud he couldn't hear him, but his lips were moving so he's pretty sure he was lying. He doesn't think that's gonna work. He has an idea. He says that Laurinaitis wants to be a star pretty badly, why doesn't he do to him what he did to CM Punk a few weeks ago and put him in a gauntlet match, then he goes backstage and asks anyone who wants a shot at Laurinaitis to come to the ring and form a conga line to whack the crap out of him.
Laurinaitis says he's not ready for that.
He's right, that's not fair. If only he had a good thing, anything is so vague.
Triple H: "OOOH..."
This is a good one. This is a good one. This is one of those things where he thinks Vince McMahon is a certifiable genius. When Vince was in charge, and he had an employee where he needed to see where their loyalty lies, he would have that person become a member of a certain club.
Laurinaitis says he knows he doesn't have to prove his loyalty.
Triple H says he does.
Laurinaitis takes out some chapstick and puts it on his lips, the implication being that he'll be the first member of the "Triple H Kiss My Ass" club. He gets down on his knees, closes his eyes, and puckers his lips. Triple H goes over to him.
Triple H: "You're really gonna do it, aren't you, ya freak? What's the matter with you? You even put chapstick on for it? Good lord, man!"
He honestly thinks he'll let him puts those lips anywhere near him, he doesn't know where they've been. He should get some personal help for that.
He's not going to do any of this silly stuff. He's gonna do what needs to be done. Personal issues in the past have clouded everybody's decision making on the way up to this role. But the Board sees now that he's put his personal problems behind him, and they've let him know that whenever he wants to comes back and run Raw, he can do it whenever he feels like it.
He puts an arm around Laurinaitis’ shoulder.
He says that at this time it truly warms his heart to let him know that he wishes him well in all-
GONG!
The lights go out.
GONG!
Fire shoots up from the ramp.
GONG!
Smoke appears around ringside.
GONG!
Sure enough, The Undertaker comes out. Laurinaitis has left the ring leaving Triple H alone in the ring. Taker heads down the ramp and into the ring. Taker and Triple H look at one another. After awhile Taker looks up at the WrestleMania sign hanging above the arena. He looks back at Triple H and gestures a throat slash. Triple H does nothing. Taker looks back up at the sign again, snarls, and looks back at Triple H. Triple H simply pats Taker on the shoulder and walks away from him. He exits the rings and heads up the ramp leaving Take alone in the ring. Taker looks at the WrestleMania sign one more time. Triple H pauses at the ramp for a second before heading to the back. Taker's music plays as he watches Triple H leave, and the show comes to an end.
