Date: March 18th, 2013
We are LIVE in: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
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John Cena comes out to start the show. He makes his way to the ring to address the fans.
Cena: I sense there may be some Rock fans in the audience tonight. It's loud on both sides. We got some riding with Cena and some riding with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. You've got twenty days left to pick a side.
The fans are mixed.
Cena: But since I stand in the middle of a sold out arena tonight, I have a message for all Rock fans. It's the same message I gave to The Rock a few weeks ago. Your time is up...our time is now! I know that's a bitter pill to say that, but I say it because all we have is right now. Starting with the Royal Rumble it's been a tidal wave of momentum for yours truly. For those of you wearing it proud holding your signs high. I will promise you I am focused, and I am ready for WrestleMania.
The Primetime Players come out. Titus has on a big afro wig.
Titus: Now John you're not the only one ready for WrestleMania. The Prime Time Players are also ready for WrestleMania.
Cena: Hey guys, look it's Darren Young and Titus-
Titus: Hold on. I'm not Titus. I'm his uncle. My name is Rufus "pancake" Patterson. They call me "pancake" because I flatten fools!
Cena: Well whatever you wanna call yourself, you're in luck. We're in the steel city tonight. Known for the Pittsburgh Steelers, for the Pittsburgh Penguins, but even you guys might not know it, there's a lot of doctors with medication for multiple personality disorders you could used.
Darren: The Prime Time Players put the E in WWE, Entertainment!
Cena: Wouldn't that be WWEE? I'll tell you what. You guys got something here. Your timing's just off. I'm 20 days away from a match against The Rock. I'll see you there maybe.
Titus: Woah woah woah. That's the problem. They don't want to see YOU there. What they want to see is the Prime Time Players! We're talking about t-shirts, washrags, all that. You know people are saying Darren Young looks like John Cena. You're on Fruity Pebbles, so there's no reason why Darren shouldn't be on Cocoa Pebbles. Now John, i'm gonna have no problem coming in there and tearing you limb from limb, but my gout is awful and i'm waiting for my social security check to cash in. But my cousin here has no problem dealing with you tonight.
Darren: And when I get through with you you'll be sitting on the floor weeping and crying just like you did last year.
Cena: That's what this is about? You think you're ready? Okay. Step into this ring right now with me, and I will show you what it means to be ready for the main event at WrestleMania.
Cena takes his shirt off and gets ready for a fight. Darren gets in the ring. The referee calls for the bell.
[Match 1]
[Singles Match]
[Darren Young vs. John Cena]
Bell sounds. Cena lands right hands to Young, then throws him in the corner. Running bulldog to Young. He goes for the STF submission, but Titus manages to pull Darren out of the ring to avoid it.
[Commercial]
Cena hits Young with two clotheslines and a spinning powerbomb. He then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He lifts Young up, points at the WrestleMania sign and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: John Cena]
[Time: 04:15]
Tonight, The Undertaker returns to Raw with his sights set on CM Punk.
Last Friday on Smackdown, The Shield attacked Ryback during his match with Mark Henry before delivering a triple powerbomb. After they leave, Henry then grabs Ryback and hit three World's Strongest Slams.
Ryback is backstage, and he's making his way to the ring to face David Otunga next.
[Commercial]
Otunga is in the ring waiting for his opponent.
Ryback comes out next and heads to the ring.
[Match 2]
[Singles Match]
[Ryback vs. David Otunga]
Bell sounds. Otunga and Ryback grapple. Ryback spears Otunga into the turnbuckle and delivers knife edge chops to the chest. Otunga kicks him off and delivers a boot to the face followed by a knee to the face. Otunga runs off the ropes and Ryback knocks him down to the mat. He picks Otunga up and delivers a powerslam. Otunga gets up and Ryback with a spinebuster. Ryback goes to the corner, waits for Otunga to get up and delivers a meathook clothesline. Ryback picks Otunga up and hits Shellshock for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Ryback]
[Time: 01:37]
Ryback grabs a microphone.
Ryback: At WrestleMania, myself, Randy Orton and Sheamus are going to tear The Shield apart. As far as the World's Strongest Man is concerned, on my way to WrestleMania we will cross again. And when that time comes everyone will know that it will be feeding time. Together we scream "FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE! FEED ME MORE!"
Mark Henry comes out on stage, but Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long come out to stop him.
Teddy: Mark! Mark! Just a minute. Don't even think of taking another step towards that ring. At least not now.
Vickie: Ryback, I am taking you out of WrestleMania! I am taking you out of the six man tag team match. Ryback, you want to be at WrestleMania? Then you will go one on one with the World's Strongest Man Mark Henry.
Ryback notices Otunga getting up. He grabs him and shouts "this is you" before delivering a second shellshock. Ryback stands over Otunga while Henry watches him from afar.
Tonight, a contract signing between Brock Lesnar and Triple H for their match at WrestleMania will take place.
A hype video for Fandango plays. He "premieres" next.
[Commercial]
Fandango comes out on stage in a spiffy looking dance room setup. He dances his way to the ring with a female dancer by his side. He even has his own light silhouette above the arena.
His opponent, The Great Kahli, comes out along with Natalya.
A video from Smackdown shows Kahli trying to pronounce Fandango's name and failing to do so.
Fandango: Stop stop stop stop stop. Stretch, it is quite obvious that you are far too stupid to pronounce my name correctly. So I was thinking tonight why don't we let the beautiful, sensual Canadian slice of heaven Natalya give it a try. Don't be afraid of all this masculinity, okay milady?
Natalya grabs her own microphone.
Natalya: Fan...dan....GO GET HIM KAHLI!
Kahli goes after him. Fandango runs out of the ring.
Fandango: No. No no no no. Tonight was the night when you almost got to see the debut of...FAAAAAN...DAAAAAN...GO!
He leaves the ring with his female friend.
Tonight, Wade Barrett defends his Intercontinental Championship in a triple threat match against The Miz and Chris Jericho.
[Commercial]
R-Truth comes out and heads to the ring for a match.
Damien Sandow comes out as his opponent.
Sandow: Silence the music! I am about to speak! Henry David Thoreau once said "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." SILENCE! He is rolling over in his grave right now with that man in the ring calling himself R-Truth. And judging by his appearance and actions, The R obviously stands for repugnant! You're welcome!
He enters the ring.
Truth: You know, Thoreau was quite a poet. Well I got a poem of my own. Your beard is weird and you talk a lot. I got four sweet words for you: you gon' get got! YOU'RE welcome!
[Match 3]
[Singles Match]
[Damien Sandow vs. R-Truth]
Bell sounds. Sandow punches Truth in the corner and whips him into the ropes. Knees to the stomach followed by a snapmare and a knee drop for one. Sandow with a headlock. Truth gets to his feet and punches Sandow off. He runs the ropes and hits a sunset flip for one. Sandow gets up and clotheslines Truth down. Sandow with right hands to the face. Sandow grabs Truth and hits a suplex for two. Sandow with another headlock. Truth gets up and whips Sandow, but Sandow counters and delivers knees to the chest followed by a Russian leg sweep. Sandow with the Elbow of Disdain for two. Sandow whips Truth and Truth with a high elbow followed by a couple clotheslines. Truth punches, does a little boogie and jabs Sandow to the mat. Whip to Sandow followed by head-scissors and a flying kick to the face. Truth runs the ropes and hits an axe kick. Sandow rolls out of the ring and walks away from the match. The referee counts to ten.
[Winner via Count Out: R-Truth]
[Time: 03:36]
Backstage, the Bella twins are playing with Cody's mustache. Kaitlyn walks over to them.
Kaitlyn: I don't know what this is, but Cody I have a thing so we can't hang out.
Nicki: Uh, nobody cares.
Kaitlyn: As far as i'm concerned, you can have that mustache. And Cody, you can have theirs.
Kaitlyn leaves.
Up next, Undertaker returns.
[Commercial]
The lights go out. Undertaker comes out and makes his way to the ring. He grabs a microphone.
Undertaker: Punk...last week, you sealed your own fate when you decided to make this personal. There's no escaping what's going to happen to you at WrestleMania. I'm going to hurt you, and i'm going to hurt you bad. You have one chance to save your own soul. I want that urn back.
???: OOOOH YES! MY UNDERTAKER! OOOOOH!
A Paul Bearer sounding voice comes out over the PA. CM Punk shows up on the tron with the urn, playing with it like it was a puppet.
Punk: No disrespect intended Taker, I never could hit the high notes. Paul wants you to know something. It wasn't a personal loss. It was a professional loss as well. Paul also wants you to know that if you get counted out of disqualified it's still a loss, and there's no doubt you're the best at WrestleMania. I don't need to tell you what 20-0 means. You could say that at WrestleMania you're the best in the world. Well i'm the best in the world 365 days of the year. You answer to a higher calling and have powers. I don't answer to a higher calling, a higher power. I am a higher power. I'm not saying beating the streak is my destiny. No. I'm the one man willing to shoulder the burden of ending your streak. I can take whatever pain you inflict on me.
He looks at the urn.
Punk: I will bear the streak. I am the one that's going to end your undefeated streak. I am the one in 20-1.
Punk does some fancy flips and throws with the urn around until he drops it. He picks it back up.
Punk: Whoops. The top almost came off. Again, no disrespect intended.
The tron turns off leaving Undertaker speechless in the ring.
Later tonight, Triple H and Lesnar have a contract signing.
[Commercial]
A new inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame will be announced tonight.
Primo, Epico and Rosa are in the ring for a tag match.
Their opponents, Tag Team champions Kane and Daniel Bryan come out to face them.
[Match 4]
[Tag Match]
[Team Hell No vs. Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendes]
Bell sounds. Kane and Primo start off. Kane punches Primo down and stomps him until he's out of the ring. Tag to Bryan. Bryan tells him to calm down buyt the Primo attacks him from behind. Primo with a side headlock. Bryan shoves him off the ropes. Primo with a shoulder bump. Off the ropes and Bryan with a knee to the gut. He puts him in the corner and lands kicks to the chest and leg. Bryan whips Primo to the corner, and Primo with a sunset flip off the turnbuckle. Bryan counters with a kick to the head. Primo with the desperate tag to Epico. Bryan puts Epico in an armlock into a hammerlock. Off the ropes and Bryan with a back body drop. Primo distracts Bryan long enough for Epico to knocks Bryan out of the ring. Primo throws him back in and Epico covers for two. Epico kicks Bryan down in his corner. Tag to Primo. Primo stomps on Bryan's chest. Tag to Epico again. Epico chokes Bryan in the corner. Tag to Primo. Epico whips Primo into a dropkick for two. Tag to Epico and Epico with a senton off the ropes. Epico pulls Bryan's arms back and Bryan flips out of it. Epico with a dropkick of his own for two. Tag to Primo. Epico puts Bryan against the ropes and Primo hits a running slide against Bryan's neck. He covers for another two count. Primo with a headlock. Bryan fights out of it and attacks both Primo and Epico. He reaches for the tag and gets it. Kane enters the ring and knocks Primo down. Off the ropes and back body drop to Primo.
Kane runs at Primo and hits a clothesline. He whips him and Primo with a kick to the face. Kane counters with a side slam. He jabs Epico off the apron. Kane climbs the turnbuckle and hits a clotheslines off the top. He goes for a chokeslam when AJ Lee comes out. AJ skips around the ring. Primo rolls Kane up for a close two count. Primo tags Epico. Bryan dropkicks Primo out of the ring while Kane hits Epico with a chokeslam for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Team Hell No]
[Time: 06:09]
AJ glares at Bryan, then puckers her lips before skipping away.
Backstage, Josh Matthews is talking with Chris Jericho.
Matthews: Chris, your thoughts on tonight's triple threat match?
Jericho: I have held the Intercontinental champion more than anyone in the WWE EEEEVER! And tonight I can make it 10. And that would give me quite a momentum with WrestleMania coming up. WrestleMania where the immortals make themselves known from The Undertaker to Chris Jericho to even-
Fandango walks over to them.
Chris: I didn't catch your name.
Fandango: It's FAN...DAN...GO!
Chris: Fannn...dumbo! Fan...dunghole! Fann...dangler! Fan durango! Fan dingo ate my baby! Fan b-i-n-g bingo was his name-O!
Fandango: Very funny, Christopher. You will learn to pronounce my name properly.
Chris: Don't leave! I want to get my movie tickets for Dead Man Down!
Tonight, Orton and Sheamus take on 3MB.
[Commercial]
A video plays showing WWE Divas working with Nothing But Nets to help people in Rwanda with malaria.
Cody Rhodes comes out and heads to the ring for a match.
Ricardo Rodriguez comes out and announces Cody's opponent, World Champion Alberto Del Rio.
[Match 5]
[Singles Match]
[Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio]
Bell sounds. Cody with right hands to Del Rio. Whip into the ropes. Del Rio ducks a clothesline and hits a head-scissors. Kick to Cody's leg. Del Rio with an arm lock. Cody counters with an arm lock of his own. Del Rio flips out of it and catches Cody with a la magistral pin for two. Cody with an uppercut to the throat. Cody puts Del Rio in the corner and lands more right hands before whipping Del Rio into the opposite corner. Cody with a diving knee to the face. Another whip, but Del Rio with a counter. He runs forward and Cody with a kick to the head. Cody runs at Del Rio and Del Rio with a back body drop and a kick to the head for two. Del Rio grabs Cody and goes for a suplex, but Cody counters with a suplex of his own for two. Cody presses Del Rio's face against the ropes until the ref breaks the count. He then applies a leg scissors submission around Del Rio's neck. Del Eio fights out of it. Del Rio runs at Cody and Cody avoids the attacks causing Del Rio to run shoulder first into the turnbuckle post. Cody with right hands and a headbutt in the corner. Del Rio fights back with a snapmare into a kick to the head. Cody goes on the apron and Del Rio dropkicks him out of the ring.
[Commercial]
Cody kicks Del Rio in the corner. He backs away and runs for a splash, but Del Rio avoids it. Del Rio with a scoop slam to Cody. He climbs the turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault, but Cody rolls out of the way. Del Rio lands on his bad leg and Cody with a clothesline. Cody grabs Del Rio and hits a front suplex for two. Cody works on the injured leg by bending it against his own knee. Del Rio gets up and Cody shoves him in the turnbuckle. Cody puts him on the turnbuckle and goes for a superplex, but Del Rio fights him off and hits a front superplex on Cody. They both get up and start trading punches. Del Rio with a kick to the leg followed by two clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio waits for Cody to get to his knees before hitting a crescent kick to the head for two. Del Rio calls for the Cross Arm Breaker. He grabs Cody, but Cody fights him off. He climbs the turnbuckle and hits a moonsault pin for a very close two count. Cody runs the ropes. Del Rio back drops him into the apron. Del Rio with shots to the kidney followed by a backstabber for two. Cody and Del Rio gets back up and Del Rio with the Cross Arm Breaker out of nowhere. Cody taps!
[Winner via Submission: Alberto Del Rio]
[Time: 12:35]
After the match, Jack Swagger enters the ring and attacks Del Rio from behind. Ricardo enters the ring and climbs on Swagger to stop him, but Swagger simply throws him off. Del Rio gets back up and the two start brawling out of the ring. Del Rio with a high kick to the head. He then throws Swagger into the barricade. Zeb Colter makes his way down and tries to get Del Rio to stop. Del Rio grabs him by the collar, but Swagger attacks Del Rio from behind before he can do anything. Swagger throws him into the ring steps, then throws him over the announce table. Swagger goes over to Ricardo, grabs his leg and applies the Patriot Act. Zeb orders Swagger to break it, and he does so. Swagger and Zeb leave with Ricardo screaming in pain while holding his ankle.
[Commercial]
During commercial, Ricardo was helped to the back by EMT.
The newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is...BOOKER T! Now can you dig that?!
Tonight, the triple threat IC title match takes place.
Randy Orton comes out and heads to the ring for his tag match.
[Commercial]
His partner, Sheamus, comes out next.
Their opponents, Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre of 3MB, come out next with Jinder Mahal.
[Match 6]
[Tag Match]
[Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. 3MB]
Bell sounds. Sheamus and Drew start off. Drew with right hands to Sheamus, but Sheamus with rights of his own. Whip off the ropes and Drew with a kick to the head. Sheamus simply grabs him and hits a rolling fireman's carry. Tag to Orton. Orton with a diving knee. He whips Drew into the turnbuckle and lands a dropkick. Tag to Sheamus. Orton with an uppercut to Drew which leads him to Sheamus. Sheamus grabs Drew and hits a ten count of clubbing blows followed by the battering ram for two. Sheamus whips Drew. Drew counters and goes for a hip toss, but Sheamus with a clothesline. Jinder distracts Sheamus and Drew knocks him down. Tag to Slater. Drew and Slater beat on Sheamus in the corner. Slater tags Drew back in. Sheamus with rights hands. Off the ropes and Drew with a kick to the head for one. Slater tags himself in. Drew throws Sheamus into a dropkick from Slater for two. Tag back to Drew. Drew jumps on the turnbuckle. Sheamus hits Slater with an elbow and Drew with an axe handle. Tag to Orton. Orton with two clotheslines and a powerslam to Slater. Orton puts Slater on the apron and hits a DDT off the ropes. Drew enters the ring and Sheamus Brogue Kicks both Drew and Jinder out of the ring. Orton hits Slater with the RKO for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Sheamus & Randy Orton]
[Time: 03:47]
The Shield come out and make their way down to the ring from within the crowd. They surround the ring. Big Show comes out! Show runs down to the ring and joins Orton and Sheamus The Shield, now seeing even numbers, retreat and head back into the crowd.
A trailer for the new G.I. Joe film plays.
Tonight. Contract signing. Triple H and Lesnar. Be there!
[Commercial]
Kofi Kingston makes his way to the ring for a match.
His opponent, Dolph Ziggler, comes out with AJ Lee and and Big E Langston
[Match 7]
[Singles Match]
[Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee & Big E. Langston]
Bell sounds. They grapple. Kingston with an arm lock to Ziggler. Ziggler rolls out of it and Kingston with two arm drags into another arm lock. Ziggler kicks Kingston off and snapmares him down into a headlock. Kingston gets to his feet and shoves Ziggler into the ropes. Ziggler with a shoulder bump. Off the ropes, Kingston leap frogs over Ziggler twice before hitting an elbow to the jaw. Kingston runs at Ziggler and Ziggler avoids Kingston causing him to crash land on the turnbuckle. Ziggler covers for two. Ziggler with a dropkick for another two count. He applies a headlock, and then does a headstand while holding on. Kingston gets back up. Ziggler kicks him off and goes for a running splash. Kingston moves out of the way and lands two knife edge chops followed by a dropkick. He goes for a jumping attack, but Ziggler with a sleeper hold attempt. Kingston slams Ziggler down on the mat and hits a springboard splash for two. Kingston runs the ropes and hits a flying clothesline followed by the Boom Drop.
Kingston at the corner. He signals for Trouble in Paradise. He goes for it, but Ziggler with a counter. Kingston lands on his feet and knocks Ziggler down. He climbs the turnbuckle, but AJ distracts the ref. Kingston runs and leaps off the apron towards Ziggler, but Langston clobbers him in mid air with the ref's back turned. Ziggler throws Kingston back in the ring and hits Zig Zag for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Dolph Ziggler]
[Time: 04:40]
As team Ziggler celebrates, Kane and Daniel Bryan come out on stage.
Bryan: Congratulations, Dolph. Not on your victory of course, but on being the only one to get Kane and I on the same page.
Kane: In case you haven't been paying attention, i'm not in a good place right now. We've all seen what Big E. Langston can do outside a ring. Now let's see what he can do inside of it. What do you say? Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston against Team Hell No!
AJ: Hey boys! My boyfriend Ziggie and Big E. Langston accept your challenge if, and only if, you put the Tag Team titles on the line at WrestleMania!
Bryan: Let me think about that. Hmm...YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Kane sets pyro off while team Ziggler look on.
Up next, a preview of the WrestleMania main event between Rock and John Cena for the WWE Championship.
[Commercial]
A recap of the Undertaker/CM Punk segment plays.
A video preview of the Cena/Rock match plays. Same one from last week, so nothing new about it.
The triple threat Intercontinental Championship match is next.
The Miz comes out and makes his way to the ring.
[Commercial]
Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett is already in the ring with Miz.
Their opponent, Chris Jericho, comes out next.
[Match 8]
[Triple Threat Intercontinental Championship Match]
[Wade Barrett(c) vs. The Miz vs. Chris Jericho]
Bell sounds. Barrett slugs Jericho and kicks Miz in the corner. Jericho attacks Wade from behind and whips him in the ropes. He hits a back elbow and covers for one. Jericho then clotheslines Wade over the top. Miz rolls up Jericho for one. Jericho whips Miz off the ropes. Miz ducks a clothesline and baseball slides Wade. Jericho dives over the top and lands on both Miz and Wade. He throws Wade into the ring and kicks him in the head. He picks him up and Wade with a headbutt. Off the ropes and Jericho with a dropkick for two. Jericho off the ropes and Miz pulls him out of the ring. He gets on the apron and sunset flips Wade for two. Another roll up by Miz for two. Miz whips Wade into the corner and hits a running clothesline. He gets on the apron and kicks Jericho off. Wade sees Miz at the turnbuckle and levels him with a high running knee to the gut. Wade climbs up the turnbuckle and goes for a superplex, but Jericho gets behind and hits Wade with a powerbomb while Wade hits a superplex on Miz.
[Commercial]
Wade with a cover on Jericho for two. Miz gets on the apron and Wade knocks him off. Jericho with chops to the chest. Wade counters with a running knee to the gut for two. Headlock on Jericho. Jericho gets back up and delivers elbows to the chest. Wade whips Jericho into the corner and Jericho with a boot. Jericho runs the ropes and shoulder bumps Wade. Wade throws him on the apron, but Jericho lands on his feet, climbs the turnbuckle and hits a cross body for two. Jericho with a running bulldog. He goes for the lionsault and Miz pulls him out of the ring. Miz with a double axe handle off the top. He hits the backbreaker and goes for the neckbreaker, but Wade counters with the Winds of Change for two. Wade picks Miz up and goes for Wasteland, but Miz slips off and dropkicks Wade's legs. He applies the figure four leg lock. Jericho with a lionsault out of nowhere on Miz for two. Jericho kicks Miz out of the ring. He grabs Wade and whips him. Wade counters and goes for Winds of Change, but Jericho rolls off Wade's back and puts him in position for the Walls of Jericho.
Miz comes from behind and goes for Skull Crushing Finale on Jericho. Wade runs at them and Miz and Jericho back drop him out of the ring. Jericho with a roll up for two. He then hits Miz with the Codebreaker and both are down. Wade throws Jericho out of the ring and covers Miz. Miz pulls Wade out and throws him into the barricade. Cover on Miz for two. Jericho grabs Miz and Miz with a DDT. Both men get up. Miz goes for a running clothesline, but Jericho moves out of the way and springboard dropkicks Wade back out of the ring. Miz with a running boot to the face of Jericho for two. Miz and Jericho gets up. Jericho with chops. He goes for the inzigiri, but Miz counters with a figure four attempt. Jericho shoves Miz into the ropes and inside cradle for two. Jericho climbs the turnbuckle and jumps off. Miz catches him, grabs him from behind and hits Skull Crushing Finale! Wade slips back in the ring and rolls up Miz from behind for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Wade Barrett]
[Time: 12:20]
A video plays showing the red carpet premiere of The Call with Halle Berry.
Backstage, Triple H is making his way to the ring for the contract signing up next.
[Commercial]
Triple H comes out and makes his way into the ring. The contract table is set up.
Paul Heyman comes out with security behind him. He enters the ring with a contract in his hands.
Triple H: I would've thought Brock Lesnar would've been the kind of guy to look me in the eyes since I split his head open a couple weeks ago. No?
Heyman: That's not an insinutation that Lesnar is afraid of you, right? BEcause we all know that Brock Lesnar is fearless. I'm just an advocate, and I am afraid. I'm afraid, Triple H, of you. I'm afraid you don't know the predicament Brock has put you in. Choice A is that you disappoint the WWE Universe. You take away from all of these people the match they want to see most. Or, option B, that you sign this contract to fight Brock Lesnar, the beast incarnate and you don't even know what the stipulations are. I think you don't know what to do yet. I think you're a frustrated man, and I don't want you to take those frustrations out on me, so as a precaution I brought out a security detail.
Triple H: And in typical Paul Heyman style you have spared no expense.
Heyman: I see where this is going. Let me spell it out how this works. My client Brock Lesnar has already signed this agreement. If and only if you sign this agreement, then and ONLY then, will I tell you the stipulations we picked for you. Your game. Game's on.
Triple H: You forgot one part. You forgot that I don't give a crap when I kick Brock Lesnar's ass at WrestleMania. Now give me the contract.
Heyman: I'll give you the contract, but you won't mind if you give me a moment to really enjoy this, won't you? Brock and I have spent countless hours watching one particular piece of footage over and over and over again. I'd like to remind each and every one of you what happened three weeks ago right here on Raw.
A video plays of three weeks ago when Lesnar and Triple H brawls. Triple H would hit Lesnar with a chair causing Brock to bleed.
Heyman: I mean this is as big as it gets, isn't it? Here's my question to you. How do you top that? Being the visionary that I am I know how to top that, and at WrestleMania it's Brock Lesnar versus Triple H and Triple H is BLINDFOLDED! ...nah. See, Brock wants you to look at the face of the man beating you. At WrestleMania it's you facing Brock with your arms and ankles shackled. Well then you'd have every excuse in the book, and Brock doesn't want you to have any excuses when he beats you at WrestleMania. So Brock said to me that I could pick the stipulations. And I want to make it personal, so here it is. Brock Lesnar versus Triple H, and the winner of the match gets your wife Stephanie. But since we're talking personally we know that wouldn't work. Wouldn't it be more fitting if the LOSER gets Stephanie?
Triple H grabs Heyman and attacks him. Security gangs up on Triple H, but he deals with each one of them by throwing them out of the ring. He looks at the last security guard and he runs off. Triple H grabs Heyman and Heyman screams in pain. Triple H smacks Heyman and puts him on the table.
Triple H: How about this, Paul? Since I know Brock's not gonna come out here until I sign that contract, and I know I have a captive audience, how about I take my time and enjoy this?
Triple H starts slapping Heyman around and slams his head against the table while he screams. He rips Heyman's shirt and grabs him by the neck. Triple H takes the contract.
Triple H: Wanna make it official? Here we go.
He signs the contract.
Triple H: Now...go call your monster.
He pushes the table and Heyman falls out of the ring. Triple H grabs a chair and throws it at Heyman.
Lesnar comes out with a steel chair in hand. He smacks the chair against the ramp and makes his way to the ring. Triple H pulls out a sledgehammer and invites Lesnar to enter the ring. Lesnar laughs, throws the chair into the ring and backs away. Heyman clutches the contract and laughs.
Heyman: I'm not tough guy. Brock, you're the toughest guy, but that beating was worth it to get you to sign this contract. So ladies and gentlemen it will be Triple H versus Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania. No count out. No disqualification. No stopping the match for any reason because your match against Brock Lesnar will be no holds barred. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. When you face Brock Lesnar, the added stipulation we picked is that your CAREER is on the line!
Heyman drops the mic and leaves. As Lesnar grins and Triple H watches them leave the show comes to an end.
