This week Smackdown! Starts with Randy Orton’s music as he comes out and heads down to the ring. He’s wearing wrestling gear and an RKO t-shirt. He gets in the ring, poses (for too long) and grabs a mic. He clears his throat to stop the heat. He says he’s not the kind of guy who would come out to say ‘I told you so’. But, “I told you so.” He’s going to compete at WM and Rey isn’t. All of Rey fantasies were shattered. It didn’t matter who was chanting for him or who he dedicated his match to, Orty had destiny on his side. “Eddie,” chants. Destiny that will be fulfilled at WM when he becomes champ.
Orty tells Angle he’s lucky. It took luck to be Taker, but all the luck in the world won’t help Angle at WM. He says at WM he will be at the top of the business. A business that his family built. His grandfather was at the top of his generation. His father was at the top of his generation. At WM Orty will prove he’s the top of his generation. Not Rey, not Angle, not Eddie nobody. His family is the best in the business. (I do have to give Randy credit for saying all these things week in and week out with a straight face - that takes some kind of intestinal fortitude.)
Out of nowhere comes Chavito. He rips off his t-shirt. He then attacks Orty and hits Eddie’s three amigos. Chavito then climbs, even though security is trying to get him down, and he hits the 5 star frog splash. After that security gets their hands on Chavito and they drag him out. While they are pulling Chavito away he is yelling, “You forgot! You forgot! You forgot the Guerreros! You forgot about us! You forgot about my family! You forgot about me!” The “Eddie” chants get even louder.
-Commercial
Video recap of Orty in the ring and Chavito attacking him.
Matt Hardy comes down to the ring. They show a video recap of NWO when Matt and Tatanka beat MNM. They had a very sweet hug after the match. Tatanka comes down to the ring. MM then come down to the ring to face them in a title match. Melina is in red and Black looking damn hot - red is amazing on her.
Matt and Mercury tie up. Matt hits a shoulder block for two. Nitro gets a blind tag, but Matt saw it. Matt hits a backslide for two. Tatanka tags in and they double team Nitro flipping him and slamming him to the mat in their corner. Tatanka covers for two. Tatanka tosses Mercury up so he’s laying on his stomach across two top ropes in a corner. Tatanka then kicks him twice in the gut. Mercury flips up straddling the top rope in a painful way. Matt is in his corner laughing and bouncing.
Tatanka chops Mercury while he’s still on the top rope. He then flips Mercury off the ropes so he lands hard on the mat. Nitro comes down to the corner Tatanka is in. Tatanka punches him, dropping him to the floor. Melina distracts the ref. Mercury reverses a whip and Nitro pulls down the top rope dumping Tatanka on the outside. Matt rushes across the ring to help. The ref is now distracted with him.
They double team Tatanka outside and double suplex him. Mercury tags in and covers for two. Melina lets out a loud piercing scream. Nitro tags in and hits a knee to Tatanka’s gut. Tatanka tries to fight against Nitro’s punches, but can’t. Mercury tags in and covers for two. Nitro tags in. Mercury keeps Tatanka in their corner while Nitro rushes them Mercury moves at the last minute and Tatanka gets a knee to the gut. Tatanka immediately starts fighting back with punches. Nitro regains control with another knee to the gut and a punch to the head that lands Tatanka on the mat. Mercury tags in and they hits Tatanka with a double clothesline. Mercury covers for two. Nitro tags in and they both drop legs on Tatanka. Nitro covers for two. Tatanka chops Nitro to the head and knocks Mercury off the apron. Nitro kicks his mid-section. Tatanka rolls Nitro up in a small package, but Mercury has the ref distracted. Tatanka has Nitro rolled up for more than a count of five, but the ref never had a chance for three.
Mercury tags in and they again double team Tatanka. They each hold and arm out and kick Tatanka in the gut. Nitro then holds him while Mercury hits a hard clothesline. Mercury covers for two, Matt breaks up the count. Nitro drives his shoulder into Tatanka’s gut and then tags in Mercury. Mercury goes to rush Tatanka in the corner and Nitro is in the way. They end up shoulder blocking each other. Tatanka comes out of the corner and hits them with a double clothesline.
Tatanka finally tags Matt in. Matt goes between both of the heels, keeping them on their toes. Matt clotheslines them both twice. Matt hits Mercury with a hip toss and splashes Nitro in a corner. Matt hits a bulldog on Nitro and a clothesline on Mercury at the same time. Matt hits the side effect on Mercury and covers him. Nitro breaks up the count.
Matt hits the ropes and holds on dropping Mercury on his bum, but Nitro kicks Matt in the chest. Mercury hits mat with a suplex and a bridge cover for two. MNM sets up for the snapshot, but Tatanka breaks it up. Matt covers Mercury for two. Matt and Tatanka double team Mercury and Matt covers again. Nitro breaks it up this time. Tatanka grabs Nitro and punches him in the head. Tatanka then chops Nitro into a corner. Tatanka whips Nitro into another corner. Nitro moves out of the way and Tatanka hits the ring post with his shoulder.
Matt sets up for the twist of fate but Melina climbs into the ring and wraps her arms around Matt’s leg. Matt grabs Melina by the arm and ref rushes over. Mercury grabs Matt from behind and rolls him up, holding his pants, for the three. Matt and Tatanka are in the ring looking pissed and confused at MNM mocks Tatanka on their way up the ramp.
- Winner: MNM
Video and stills recap of NWO. A tiny bit from each match.
- Commercial
37 day to WM.
Outback Paul Burchall is shaving with his knife. Regal comes up and reads a letter from a young girl who doesn’t want Regal’s name besmirched because of how Pirate Paul is acting. Pirate Paul hands Regal a black ball and lights the cord attached to it. Regal is freaking out that it’s a bomb. The flame gets to the ball and burns out. Pirate Paul gets in Regal’s face and says, “Boo.”
The announcers talk about Bret Hart going into the Hall Of Fame. They then show the Eddie video that they showed on RAW letting us know that Eddie’s going into the Hall Of Fame this year. Huge “Eddie” chants from the crowd, and a kid holding up a sign that says, “We miss you Eddie.” Another person is holding up an Eddie RIP t-shirt with a grim look on his face.
- Commercial
Booker T and Sharmell come down to the ring dressed to the nines. Guess he’s not wrestling. He doesn’t look too happy not having his belt. They go to the announce table.
The Dicks come down to the ring. (I forgot they were released after this was taped.) They gyrate on the outside of two ring posts. Chimmel starts announcing a tag match, but the ref comes over to tell him it’s a handicap match. The Dicks start celebrating. The Boogeyman’s music starts and Booker starts freaking out. He wiggles out to the ring with a huge bag hanging from him. He puts it in a corner.
Both Dicks are skirting around him and are afraid to attack. One Dick is caught around the neck. The other gets an elbow to the throat. The one being held gets tossed in a corner and the other is flipped from the ring. Boogeyman whips one of the Dicks back and forth. That Dick knocks the other Dick from the apron and he slams into the announce table.
The Boogeyman powerbombs the Dick in the ring and covers for three. He puts a handful of worms in his mouth and chews. The Boogeyman leaves the ring and grabs his bag. Booker and Sharmell are freaking out that he is looking at them. Booker goes over the barrier and helps his wife over. They leave through the crowd. Boogeyman dumps his bag of worms all over the announce table. Tazz looks very unimpressed by the mess.
- Winner: Boogeyman
RAW Rebound shows the triple threat match and what each wrestler said about it and WM as bit of the match are being shown. RVD almost got the win until HHH pedigrees him to win it himself. Cena comes out to stare HHH down in the ring.
- Commercial
WM Big Time Moment is Jeff Hardy doing a swanton bomb from a huge ladder onto Bubba Ray at WM in 2000.
Cole is telling Tazz to sit down. Tazz is complaining that he’s wearing a new suit. Ringside peons are cleaning up the worms.
Rey Rey comes down to the ring. He takes a mic. He says it makes him very happy that Eddie will be inducted into the Hall Of Fame. He says he dedicated his RR win to Eddie. He knows Eddie was looking down on him when he won. But, Randy Orton has gotten in his head. He got Rey so upset that he put his WM opportunity on the line, and lost it. Rey says it’s no one’s fault but his own. He’s let everyone down. He just wants to tell everyone he’s let down, “I apologize.” Rey apologizes to his family, to Vicky, to Chavo, to all the fans, and mostly to Eddie. Rey puts the mic down on the mat and heads for the ropes. “Eddie” chants start.
Teddy Long’s music hits. Long says everyone feels Rey’s pain. Long says what happened to Rey was wrong. Long calls up footage from NWO. It shows Orty holding the ropes to get his win. Long says he’s reviewed the tape. He can’t reverse the decision, so Orty will be in the main event. He can’t change that. He can’t take Orty out of the match, but he can add to the match. So, at WM it will be Randy Orton and the champion and Rey in a triple threat match for the title.
Rey Rey is all excited and hugs Long before climbing up on the corners to celebrate.
- Commercial (The first commercial is for WM.)
Video of Mark Henry becoming the strongest man, followed up with in ring spots. Over the whole thing he’s talking about how no one can beat him.
Crystal comes down to the ring in a gold satin robe. She has the Diva Magazine. She take a mic and says normally we see her as the conservative backstage announcer. She is, but she has another side, as do all the Divas. Now she wants to give us a sneak peak at her other side.
Before she can take off her rope Jillian comes out and says no one wants to see Crystal disrobe. They want to see her client JBL. She tell Crystal to get out of there.
Crystal asks Jillian if she thinks she’s prettier than Crystal. Jillian says of course she is. She calls Crystal a cheap bimbo. Crystal takes off her ‘intellectual’ glasses and bitch slaps Jillian twice and takes Jillian’s shirt off. Jillian runs off trying to cover her enormous tatas.
Crystal takes off her robe and struts her stuff in a lime green bra and panties. )I forgot from the Diva Search how *cough* well built she is.)
- Commercial
Cole and Tazz are talking about how wonderful NWO was. They then say what a surprise it was that Batista showed up. Video clips of Batista in the ring talking about coming back to reclaim his title.
Gregory Helms comes out to the ring spilling ego all over the place. Each week he has to face a cruiserweight to the title. This week it’s Psychosis. He comes out by himself on his Juan Deer.
They tie up. Helms hits an arm drag. Psychosis flips Helms over rolling him under the ropes. Helms gets back to his feet and bitch slaps Psychosis. Psychosis pushes Helms hard in retaliation. Helms kicks Psychosis in the gut and slams his face into the top turn buckle. Helms throws punches and kicks at Psychosis in the corner. The ref pulls Helms off. When Helms returns to Psychosis he gets nailed with a hard chop. Helms runs into an elbow from Psychosis. Psychosis hits a poorly executed head scissors on Helms. (Psychosis lands wrong, like on his neck and head. Not graceful, but didn’t look painful.) Psychosis clotheslines Helms and covers for two. Psychosis rolls Helms through for another two count.
Helms whips Psychosis into a corner. Psychosis goes for a head scissors with his hands on the top turn buckle. Helms flips Psychosis’ legs over the top rope and drops him from the ring. Helms follow Psychosis out and pounds on his head while it’s against the barrier. Helms then hits Psychosis’ chest with forearms and gives him a knee to the head. Back in the ring Helms covers for two. Helms hits a snap suplex and drops a leg. Psychosis sits up and helms nails him with a standing drop kick to the shoulder. Helms locks on an arm trap submission. Psychosis gets out and goes for head scissors again. Again Psychosis lands funny - on his neck and head (wonder if it’s the height difference?). Psychosis covers for two. Helms immediately hits a hard clothesline. Helms locks on a headlock. Psychosis fights out. Helms gets Psychosis up on his shoulders and attempts a move, but Psychosis lands on his feet. Psychosis hits a spinning heel kick and covers for two. Psychosis goes for another kick, but Helms ducks.
Helms again gets Psychosis on his shoulders. This time he spins him around into a face buster. Helms covers for two. Psychosis reverses a whip. When he rushes Helms he gets flipped over the top rope to stand on the apron. Psychosis throws a couple of punches. Psychosis climbs. He’s sitting on the top and Helms runs up to meat him. Psychosis punches Helms until he falls to the mat. Psychosis stands up top. Helms dodges around the ref to hit a top rope to knock Psychosis into a painful position. Psychosis falls from the corner. Helms covers, puts his feet on the second rope and gets a three count.
- Winner: Gregory Helms
- Commercial
Cole is talking about how amazing the main event at NWO was. They show video and still from the match between Taker and Angle. Cole and Tazz continue talking about the match, but are interrupted by the GM.
Teddy Long comes out to the stage and announces that Angle and Taker will have a rematch next week, again for the title.
- Commercial
Randy Orton’s music hits, but he doesn’t comes out. Outback Orty is yelling at Long about Chavito attacking him, Taker and Angle having a rematch and Rey being added to the WM main event. He tells Long he’s the worst GM ever.
Long tells Orty that if he doesn’t get to steppin’ and get to the ring for his match he will loose his WM main event spot. Orty stomps off slamming things as he walks by.
His music hits again and he comes out to the ring all angsty and sulky. JBL’s music hits next and he comes out in his limo. Jillian doesn’t seem to be with him tonight. Finley is the last of the heels to come down to the ring, sheleighly in hand.
Chris Benoit comes down to the ring with his new belt over his shoulder. Bobby Lashley comes out next. And last, but not least, is Rey Rey. I didn’t notice if he bounced out of the stage the first time he came out, but he did this time. He brings a spare mask with him and puts it in his corner.
Orty and Rey stat it off. Rey lands a couple of kicks to Orty’s legs, but Orty fights back by driving a forearm into Rey’s back and driving Rey face first into the mat. Orty punches Rey in the face. Orty whips Rey who slides between Orty’s legs on one pass. Rey hits head scissors on Orty sending him rolling from the ring. Orty rushes back into the ring. Rey hits a drop toe hold into 619 position. Orty moves out of the way quickly and tags in Fit.
Lashley wants Fit, so Rey tags him in. Fit hits a knee to Lashley’s gut and follows it with a couple of uppercuts. Fit kicks Lashley in the back of the knee and goes for a cover. Lashley got up so fast the ref didn’t have time to make it to counting position. Fit gets whipped into a corner, but Fit pokes Lashley in the eye when he approaches. Lashley hits a back body drop on Fit and then knocks the other two heels from the apron. Lashley then spears Fit to the mat. Lashley covers Fit, JBL beaks up the count at two. Benoit rushes in and attacks JBL. Orty climbs in the ring and Rey rushes at him and hits him with a forearm to the face. The whole match goes bonzo gonzo.
- Commercial
Benoit is setting JBL up for a sharpshooter. Benoit gets it locked in, but JBL gets to the ropes. Lashley tags in. Lashley drives his knee into JBL’s gut and follows it up with a belly to belly. Lashley hits a back body drop and then spears JBL. Fit has to break up the count. JBL pokes Lashley in the eye.
Orty tags in and gets hits with a clothesline. Lashley twists Orty’s arm and tags in Rey. Rey comes over the top rope and slams his arms down on Orty’s arm. Rey hits a standing drop kick to Orty’s face while he’s on his knees. Orty hits Rey in the face with a forearm. Orty pulls Rey to the hell’s corner by his foot.
Fit tags in and scoop slams Rey. He locks a rear naked choke on Rey. Rey fights out, but Fit reapplies it. JBL tags in. JBL hits Rey with a forearm to the back and a boot to the face. JBL headbutts Rey. Rey ducks under s boot and hits head scissors on JBL. Rey runs the ropes and gets hit in the back by Fit. Rey bounces over the top rope to go after Fit. Fit pulls out the ring apron and catches Rey in the crotch with it. Fit hits Rey over the head a couple times. Fit gets Rey across his shoulders and drops him face first onto the apron. Benoit breaks it up. JBL tosses Rey back into the ring. JBL covers for two. JBL hits Rey in the back a couple times with forearms. JBL gets Rey into a bear hug. Rey fights out with punches and forearms, but JBL shoulder blocks him to the mat. JBL covers for two, Benoit breaks up the count.
When the ref is distracted with Benoit JBL and Fit swap out without actually tagging, just making the sound. Fit gets Rey in a rear naked choke, but the ref tells him to leave the ring. The ref starts counting and Fit lets go. Fit pulls Rey to their corner and tags JBL.
JBL immediately tags in Orty. Rey is crawling to his corner and Orty is standing over him, mocking him. Orty stomps Rey’s back and then yells at him. Orty drops a couple of knees onto Rey’s chest. Orty covers Rey for two. Orty locks on a headlock. Rey gets to the ropes and Fit tries to kick Rey off the ropes. Rey gets tossed into a corner and gets his feet up into Orty’s face. Orty rushes him again and Rey flips over him. Rey then applies head scissors that send Orty shoulder first into the ring post. Orty crawls to his corner as Rey does the same.
Benoit and JBL tag in. Benoit drops JBL to the mat with a forearm and then follows it up with chops. Fit rushes over but Benoit chops him so hard he hits the mat. Benoit whips JBL and hits another forearm. Fit rushes him again and gets a back body drop for it. Orty then rushes Benoit and gets a German for it. JBL gets a German and so does Fit. Benoit climbs and connects his flying headbutt on JBL. Fit breaks up the three count. Lashley attacks Fit and their fight goes outside. Rey and Orty are also fighting outside. Benoit rushes JBL in a corner, but JBL gets a boot up into his face. Benoit tries to lock on the crippler crossface. Fit kicks Benoit in the head to break up the hold. Fit tries to hit a clothesline, but gets a German instead.
Benoit rolls to the outside following JBL. JBL is on his knees with his hand on the top stair and over the back of it. Benoit kicked the stair. (This is where JBL’s hand is broken. He’s a good actor, but this did look different.) Benoit kicked the top stair again obviously not knowing JBL was injured. Benoit rolls JBL back into the ring. Benoit hits a German on JBL landing him in 619 position.
Rey tags in. Rey hits 619 on JBL. Rey bounces up to the top rope and falls belly first on JBL. JBL puts his hands up a bit to help catch Rey, as he’s supposed to. You could see the pain it caused. Rey covers JBL for the win. JBL looks like he just wants it to be over. He’s a lump during the count and immediately rolls over to cradle his hand.
Biggest pop
Rey
Chavito
Benoit
Biggest heat
Orton
Booker & Sharmell
Helms
Biggest gross out
Boogeyman’s worms (again)
JBL breaking his hand
They really strung this show out without many matches nor much advancement of storylines. I normal don’t say much about the content of the entire show, only little quips here and there, but I can’t keep my mouth shut tonight. I was not impressed. The matches were fine, but there just didn’t seem to be much meat on the bones of this Smackdown!. I think if I had paid money to go to this show I would feel cheated and let down.
