This week’s Smackdown begins with a video recap of Angle and Taker in their match last week, set to music. The show Taker’s cover, Henry’s attack and subsequent crash through the announce table.
Mark Henry and Daivari come down to the ring. Daivari takes a mic to ‘You suck” chants. Daivari says that last week’s match couldn’t be a classic as Henry wasn’t in it. Daivari says there is one dominant man in WWE, there is one man who should be in the main event - Mark Henry.
Henry takes the mic and says everyone forgot about henry. Batista forgot about him until he hurt Batista so bad he had to drop the title. Taker forgot about Henry until last week, but now he remembers. Angle wouldn’t even have the title if it wasn’t for Henry. He does what he wants, when ever he wants. He calls out Angle. He tells Angle he can “give it up, or get it took.” Henry says he doesn’t have all night and is cut off by Angle’s music.
Angle says he hasn’t forgotten anything, but Henry forgot Angle is a wrestling machine.
Angle rushes the ring and attacks Henry. Orton rushes out and gets into the attack. Rey rushes out to help. Orton and Rey fight while Angle and Henry fight. Then Orton hangs Rey up on the second rope. Orton directs Henry to attack Rey. He lands on Rey’s back and slides from the ring almost taking Rey’s head off. Henry’s on the outside and Angle comes after Orton with a chair. Orton leaves the ring quickly.
Teddy Long comes out and tells them to stop - after they already have. He says he doesn’t want to fine or suspend or fine anybody so close to WM. He sets up a tag match for later tonight. Angle and Rey against Henry and Orton.
- Commercial
23 days until WM
Fit Finlay’s music hits and he comes out with his sheleighly for his Money In The Bank qualifying match. Lashley comes out to face him.
Fit leaves the ring and rushes Lashley. Lashley picks Fit up and drives his back into the edge of the ring. Fit hits Lashley in the jaw with the sheleighly. They brawl on the ramp until refs and security break them up. Lashley breaks free and spears Fit in the ½ circle entrance to the stage. They go out through gorilla.
Then cameras are outside and they are still fighting. Fit is driven into a fence. Fit breaks out two windows in a station wagon and it’s alarm goes off. (Who puts a car alarm in a station wagon?) They brawl up onto the car. Fit is laying prone on the roof and Lashley jumps down and tries to lift the side of the car. Fit rolls from the roof to the ground. Lashley is still lifting the car to roll it onto Fit. Security are trying to push the car from the other side, rather than pull Fit out of the way.
Finally Lashley gets the car tipped over and the alarm stops. Tazz and Cole are freaking that the car rolled on Fit. Then Fit bounces up to his feet. He’d gotten out of the way. As the camera fade security and the refs are still trying to hold both wrestlers away from each other.
- Commercial
Video promo for Mike ‘The Miz’ Mizannin.
Video recap of Lashley flipping the car. Tazz and cole are freaking that Lashley was able to flip the car.
JBL’s music hits and he comes out in his limo. JBL comes to the ring wearing a suit and tie. His hand is all bandaged up from surgery.
He takes a mic. He says it’s rare that he is at a loss for words. He says he is happy with the outpouring of emotion from the fans after the savage attack on him. He tells the fans that he loves them too. He says he’s been cheap shotted and blind sided by someone who wanted to question his legacy since his injury by one man. He will face that man about it - ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin.
Austin mentioned many great wrestlers from Texas in an interview on WWE.com, but not JBL. When asked about JBL Austin agrees that JBL was from Texas, so I take my hat off to him for that, but that’s all I have to say about that. JBL says he left the south for obvious reasons. He talks about playing football and how he’s held every title in the WWE. Also he held the WWE Championship longer than anybody in Smackdown television. Longer than Austin. The last WM that JBL headlines was the most successful of all time. More successful than Andre/Hogan, more successful than anything Austin has ever done. JBL says he’s better than Austin on Austin’s best day in the prime of his life. He’s a better wrestler, better entertainer and a bigger draw than Austin.
He says the only thing Austin is, is a legendary beer drinker. It might be how he relates to average Americans. JBL says he’s not average, but he is America.
At SNME JBL is going to do what he does best - beat people at their own game. Since he can’t stomp a mud hole and walk it dry, because he’s hurt, so JBL challenges Austin to a beer drinking contest. He will put Austin back into retirement. Then 15 days later he will deal with the man who broke his hand.
They show video of Benoit’s breaking JBL’s hand.
JBL looks pissed at watching the tape. He says that since Benoit couldn’t beat him he tried to put him out. At WM JBL will personify greatness at Benoit’s expense and will take the US Title from him. JBL says they better put him on last , because if they don’t they better get a pine box because nobody follows the killer.
“I’m JBL damn it and I’m a wrestling god.”
Outback Teddy Long is in his office and Helms comes in with two black eyes and a bent nose saying his nose is broken. Teddy says he doesn’t think it’s fair that he make Helms defend his title every week. Helms likes that until Teddy tells Helms he does have a match. A match against Benoit. Helms is not happy about this.
- Commercial
Video of Smackdown’s trip to Australia and New Zealand.
William Regal comes down to the ring and grabs a mic. He say what we are about to see is a joke. This guy thinks he’s a buccaneer. He asks the crowd not to laugh when he beats the bloody crap out of him. He’s a total embarrassment.
Pirate Paul swings from the side of the stage (I think it was Rey’s platform) to the edge of the ramp on a long rope. (Well rehearsed.) He throws bead to the crowd as Regal stands in the ring and laughs. Paul pulls out his sword and Regal stops laughing. Paul climbs in the ring and throws more beads.
They lock up and Regal lock on an armbar. Paul reverses it. Regal reverses. Paul reverses into a headlock takeover. Paul gets an armbar on Regal. Paul gets tossed from the ring. Paul crawls back in while Regal climbs. Regal drops a knee onto Paul’s head that is on the apron.
Regal locks on an inverted full nelson. Paul fights out. He goes for a sunset flip, but Regal moves. Regal chokes Paul and then tosses him onto the second rope. Regal hits an amazing snap suplex. Regal gets on a side headlock, but Paul gets out and nails Regal with a back elbow. Paul follows it with a clothesline, an inverted atomic drop and a back body drop. Paul covers for two.
Regal tries to fight back but Paul hits him with a strange move. It looks like he’s going for a rock bottom, but then he does a back flip holding onto Regal.
- Winner: Pirate Paul
Outback Booker T and Sharmell are walking along. They hear a noise and both jump. Guess they’re still worried about the Boogeyman.
- Commercial
Video recap of Angle coming out to face Henry. Orton and then Rey rush out.
Booker T and Sharmell come out all dressed up. Sharmell has a huge black bag slung across her red sequined dress. Video of Booker’s match last week when the Boogeyman shows up behind Sharmell and costs Booker the match.
Sharmell takes a mic and says the way she and her man have been treated is an outrage. He saw screwed out of the title and he lost his match last week. There are two people to blame. Teddy Long and the Boogeyman. Sharmell says they have letters. Booker takes the mic and says there are a lot of letters. Sharmell opens the bag and pulls out letters.
Booker takes a letter from someone at the NAACP who says the Boogeyman is a poor role model and has set blacks back many years. Another letter is from the ASPCA who says the Boogeyman is cruel to worms. Booker says worms have feelings too. Another letter says that worms are poor nutritional health.
Booker calls Teddy Long out to find out what he’s going to do about the Boogeyman. Long is on the titantron. He says he’s not taking care of the Boogeyman because Booker will be taking care of the problem in the ring.
Booker tells Long to get back on the tron and then the bag starts spewing red smoke. They both freak out. Booker grabs the bag and flips it over dumping worms in the ring. Booker jumps from the ring over the top rope and rushes up the ramp. Then the Boogeyman appears on stage. Booker and Sharmell flee through the crowd. The Boogeyman enters the ring and eats the worms.
RAW Rewind shows Steph drugging HBK. HBK meets Shane in the ring and the drugs take effect. Shane beats on HBK and gets the win. Vince then decides he wants to fight HBK and covers him for three. Vince and Shane gloat over what they did to HBK.
Outback Crystal is heading for the ring.
- Commercial
Video of who’s going into the Hall Of Fame and who’s inducting them.
Jillian Hall comes down to the ring wearing a black top and tiny white miniskirt. For some reason she’s wearing (fake) pearls. Crystal runs out wearing a red mini and tiny black lace top that leaves very little to the imagination.
Jillian pulls Crystal in by her hair. Jillian flings Crystal by her hair. Jillian pulls Crystal’s top off. Crystal spears Jillian and chokes her. Crystal gets tossed in a corner and a knee to the gut. Crystal tries to take Jillian’s skirt off but can’t. Finally Crystal gets the skirt off, but runs into a back elbow. Jillian slams Crystal to the mat. Crystal rolls Jillian up and rips Jillian’s top off. In doing so she rips Jillian’s bra straps. Jillian can barely keep her tatas in while she runs up the ramp because there isn’t much to cover them. In the ring Crystal takes her skirt off and throws it into the crowd as she celebrates.
- Winner: Crystal
- Commercial
Video of Batista at the Arnold Classic. Batista gave a great speech to a group of kids. Batista was all excited to meet Arnold for the first time.
Benoit comes down to the ring for his champion versus champion match. Helms comes down with his crooked nose to face him. Helms looks a bit nervous. Benoit is grinning.
Benoit toys with Helms. Helms keeps ducking away and hiding. They lock up. Helms backs Helms into a corner, then Helms backs Benoit into a different corner. Helms throws some punches. Benoit grabs Helms’ nose and chops at the same time. Benoit hits a back body drop. Benoit nails more chops and tries for the sharpshooter. Helms kicks Benoit away. They go back and forth and Helms nails a drop toe hold.
Helms gets a hold on Benoit’s neck. Benoit kicks out. Helms gets tossed into a corner, but gets an elbow up. Benoit goes for another sharpshooter but kicks Benoit away. Helms covers for two and then reapplies the hold. Benoit nails an arm drag but runs into an elbow. Benoit chops and nails a release German. Both are down for four.
Benoit nails a shoulder block. Helms drives Benoit to the mat for two. Helms goes for the shining wizard, but Benoit ducks. Benoit finally locks on the sharpshooter, but Helms gets to the ropes. Helms rolls out and heads up the ramp. Four cruiser weights, London, Kendrick, Noble and Kash, throw him back in. Benoit nails a German and then flies. Benoit locks in the crippler crossface. Helms taps out. The four cruiser weights all stand on the stage and grin.
- Winner: Benoit
WM Big Time Moment is the boxing match with Butterbean.
- Commercial
Video of Candice’s Playboy photo shoot.
Video of Hardy and Animal in their tag match. Hardy sent Animal up for the LOD signature move. Animal then attacks Hardy for the loss.
Cole says Hardy has challenged Animal to a match. Animal says he’s carried LOD for 20 years. Hawk was always off screwing off. Heidenreich was an even bigger screw up. Then Hardy tells HIM to go up to do his signature move. Who does he think he is? Animal says he is no longer part of any tag team, he is THE Road Warrior.
Mark Henry and Daivari come down to the ring.
- Commercial
Video of what happened between Lashley and Finlay earlier in the night. Next week they will be in a lumberjack match.
Randy Orton comes out to join Henry. Rey Rey comes out next, but doesn’t enter the ring. Angle comes out to huge fireworks. The crowd seems hot. They get in the ring together.
Angle and Orton play around a bit before they lock up. They end up in a corner, clean break. Angle gets Orton on the mat. Angle gets a side headlock on Orton. Orton pushes out but gets a shoulder block. Rey tags in and goes over Angle to land on Orton’s arm. Orton kicks Rey in the gut. Rey hits head scissors. Rey drops Orton into 619 position. Henry pulls Orton from the ring.
- Commercial
Rey drives his shoulder in Orton’s gut while he’s in a corner. Rey climbs and punches Orton. Daivari did some distracting and Rey’s crossbody was stopped with a standing dropkick. Henry tags in and head butts Rey. He chokes Rey on the mat. He kicks Rey in the gut.
Orton tags in. He drops three knees on Rey and covers for two. Henry tags in. Henry nails Rey in the back with a forearm. Henry is choking Rey with his foot. Orton tags in. Orton locks a rear choke on Rey through the ropes. Henry tags in. He pushes Rey into a corner, but Rey kicks him a couple times. Rey goes for a crossbody but is caught and dropped from over Henry’s head. Henry sets up to splash Rey on the mat, Rey moves. Rey kicks Henry in the back of the head. Rey finally gets to his corner.
Angle tags in, as does Orton. Angle clotheslines Orton twice and then kicks Henry from the apron. Angle nails a German on Orton. Angle goes for the Angle slam, Orton counters. Orton goes for the RKO, Angle counters. Angle locks on the ankle lock and wraps his body around Orton’s leg. Orton is about to tap and Henry rolls in to beak it up. Henry gets an elbow to the face from Angle and then Rey nails him with a springboard dropkick.
Rey has tagged in. Rey connects 619 followed by a seated sentar. Rey covers Orton, but Henry breaks up the count. Angle rushes in and nails Henry with an upper cut and then stomps Orton. Orton rolls from the ring. Angle follows him and goes to slam Orton’s face into the stairs, but Orton stops it. Orton then slams Angle’s head into the stairs.
Henry walks on Rey. The ref gets pushed into a corner and Henry splashes him purposefully. Henry headbutts Rey. Daivari sets up a table in the ring. Henry climbs. Angle pulls Rey off the table and attacks Henry. Orton attacks Angle from behind. Orton nails Angle with the RKO. Orton locks a front facelock on Angle and puts him on the table. On Orton’s orders Henry splashes Angle through the table. Orton and Henry stand over Angle screaming at him. Orton then screams back at the crowd who are really pissed at him.
The lights go out and... GONG! Taker’s voice says, “Mark Henry. You, me, WM. In a casket match.” Henry stands in the ring yelling, “You better be good and ready to put me in a casket.”
Biggest pop
Angle
Benoit
Rey
Biggest heat
Finlay
Orton
Henry & Daivari
