RAW starts with a recap of what happened between the McMahons and HBK last week.
Opening music and pyro.
Vince comes down to the ring with Shane, someone in a lab coat and 4 security guards. They all enter the ring. Vince thanks everyone for their warm Texas welcome. He says last week HBK beat the holy hell out of HBK. Not only beat him, but beat him up. Then Vince says he also beat HBK. He says he can understand HBK being upset and depressed after losing to the McMahons. Vince says that what happened after the match was horrible. HBK was stumbling, slurring his words and was incomprehensible.
Vince says the only logical conclusion is that HBK is on drugs. So he will have to submit to a public urine test.
Shane cut in and sais he thought it was a good idea as he was worried about their match at SNME if HBK is on drugs.
Vince orders HBK to the ring. HBK comes down looking pissed. ‘HBK’ chants start.
Vince says that if he doesn’t pass this test what will his explanation be? What will he tell his wife, family and fans.
Shane says he knows the explanation. HBK is a lying, cheating junkie.
Vince says if he is a junkie he will be suspended indefinitely with out pay. If he tests positive he will automatically lose both his SNME match against Shane and his WM match against Vince.
Vince calls Dr. Feldman over and inspects the piss cup. Security has to keep HBK away from Vince and Shane. Vince says that the Doctor will not only do the test, but will observe the pissing. Vince says he knows it might be hard to piss in front of all these people, but we have all knight.
Vince does a little PSN about drug use and not being like HBK.
The Doctor comes out with this huge piss jar that’s almost full. He starts the testing.
Vince asks HBK what he has to say. Shane takes the mic and says HBK should have Just Said No.
HBK takes the mic and says there is another great saying, “It’s better to be pissed off, than be pissed on.” HBK takes the piss from the doctor and throws it on both Vince and Shane.
HBK exits the ring quickly with a grin on his face. Vince and Shane are in the ring freaking out.
- Commercial
Video recap of HBK taking his piss test and then tossing said piss onto Shane and Vince.
Outback Shane and Vince are outback cleaning up from the piss. Vince is pissed and says HBK is going to be in a 4 on 1 Texas Tornado Match in a steel cage tonight.
Trish comes down to the ring wearing pants and a tiny top. Victoria comes (wearing a bright yellow and black two piece outfit with arm warmers - bad colors, great outfit) out to face Trish with Candice in tow. Candice is wearing two tiny scraps of material and a long coat.
Victoria rushes into the ring and pushes Trish with a forearm. Trish returns the favor. Candice gets on the apron to distract Trish. It doesn’t work because she ducks under Victoria’s punch. Trish nails Victoria with a forearm and then full body tackles her to the mat. Trish throws a bunch of forearms and then yells at Candice. While distracted Victoria pulls Trish to hang her up on a second rope. Victoria then grabs Trish’s hair and slams her backward onto the mat. Victoria covers for two and slams Trish’s head back. Victoria covers for two and slams Trish’s head again. Once again Victoria covers for two.
Victoria gets to her feet and Trish punches her in the gut, hard. Trish gets a knee to the face. Victoria gets Trish into a fireman’s carry swinging into a side slam. Victoria covers for two. Victoria slams Trish’s head, by the hair, face first into the mat. Victoria picks Trish up by her hair and slams her into the mat. Victoria covers for two. Victoria again grabs Trish’s hair and gets them back to back. Victoria bends forward picking Trish up by her hair, then drops her to the mat. Victoria does the same move again, but this time Trish flips over Victoria’s shoulder to land on her feet.
Trish kicks Victoria in the face. Trish walks toward Victoria, but Victoria grabs the front of Trish’s pants and tosses her through the ropes to the floor. Victoria follows and tosses her back in. Victoria covers for two. Trish is back up in a fireman’s carry. This time when Victoria goes for the side splash Trish reverses it into head scissors, but they were both slightly off mark so it looked bad.
They both rush each other and it ends up as a double clothesline, both are down. Victoria tries to punch, Trish blocks the punches and nails her own. Victoria gets whipped into a corner, but gets her elbow up. Victoria sits up top and Trish does her hand stand on the bottom ropes. Victoria pushes her feet off. Trish kicks Victoria in the gut and then does a hand stand in the middle of the mat. This time Trish’s head scissors are much better, but look contrived. Trish nails a spinebuster for two. Victoria thumbs Trish in the eye, but Trish recovers and sets up for stratusfaction, but Candice gets up on the apron to distract. Both Trish and the ref are distracted. Victoria kicks Trish in the gut and sets up for the widow’s peak, but Torri rushes the ring and attacks Victoria with a kick to the gut and slamming her face into the mat.
Trish nails the chick kick as the ref turned back to face the match. Trish covers Victoria for three.
- Winner: Trish
- Commercial
During the commercial Victoria and Candice stood in the ring while Victoria screamed at Torrie that she was going to make her pay.
Cowboy Troy comes down to the announce table. King says it feels great to be sitting next to someone wearing a black cowboy hat again.
Coach says he’s going to show us Foley’s WM moments. It’s a video saying how crappy Foley it is and how easily Edge will beat him at WM. All the clips were of Foley getting beaten down.
Edge’s music hits and he comes to the ring with Lita. Goldust is already in the ring. Edge toys with Goldust before they lock up. Edge backs Goldust into a corner and starts punching. Goldust fights back and drops Edge with a fanny bump. Goldust telegraphs and gets kicked for it. Edge throws punches and bounces Goldust out of corners.
Goldust nails a powerslam on Edge. Goldust lands some punches and a clothesline. Edge in a corner and Goldust gets off ten punches. Goldust sets up for shattered dreams but Lita gets up on the apron to distract Goldust. Edge gets down and spears Goldust when he turns around. Edge gets the pin fall.
- Winner: Edge
Edge takes a mic and tells Joey to shut up. He makes a nasty comment to Cowboy Troy about stealing his thunder. Edge says he has another video for us. It starts of with, “From Edge who brought you TLC and MOney In The Bank, brings you his best WM performance ever.” Witness the final performance of Foley - ever.
Edge says his talk show will be back on SNME and Foley will be on the show. But it will be rated ‘H’ for hardcore.
- Commercial
WM Big Time Moment is 1989 when Piper had Morton Downey Jr. In Piper’s Pit and keeps blowing smoke in Piper’s face. Piper returns it with a fire extinguisher.
Outback Maria is working out. Trish asks if she’s seen Torrie. Maria pushes the Bowflex Extreme 2. Maria then says she thinks Torrie is in the locker room. Trish goes in to find Torrie knocked out with a Candice Playboy on her chest.
The announcers talk about who is going into the Hall Of Fame This Year and who’s inducting them. They go through the list of those already announced and then tell us that the next person is... Vern Gagne. They showed a nice video and told about his whole career. His son Greg (also a wrestler) will be inducting him.
WWE Rewind shows last week’s match between Cena and Big Show.
Coach is in the ring for the contract signing. The ring is set up as it usually is for such things.
- Commercial
Coach says we are 20 days away from WM. He blabbers on about the match between Cena and HHH at WM. Coach then introduces, with much flourish, HHH. I think the crowd was behind him, but the music was too loud to tell. Coach then introduces Cena and surprisingly doesn’t cut him down while doing it. Cena comes out to a much louder crowd. Cena glares at a lounging HHH as he climbs in the ring. HHH has his feet up on the desk.
Coach says that both of their lawyers have looked over the contract outback and assured them everything was in order. Coach told HHH, as the challenger, signs first. HHH says he was impressed last week. He asked if we saw the match and if we saw him pick up Show. HHH says that would kill a norman man, but not Cena. HHH says it’s not going to make a bit of difference. He says it’s only a formality, the signing, the match, everything. ‘Cena’ chants. HHH says it’s a fact that at WM the title comes back home. HHH then signs the contract.
Cena takes the pen and signs.
HHH says, just like that, it’s over. He says at this time, after the contract is signed, he flips the table, pulls out the sledge and bash his brains in. He goes for every advantage. He doesn’t need to, Cena’s already at a disadvantage.
Cena says HHH cracks him up. He asks if that’s really the reason. Because if HHH pulls out the sledge Cena will stick it straight up his ass. HHH slowly gets to his fee. Cena flips his hat around and stands up.
Show and Kane’s music hits. HHH flips the table and grabs the sledge. HHH wants Cena to help him with Kane and Show. Cena keeps his eyes on HHH. Show and Kane are starting to climb in the ring, when they are attacked from behind by Masters and Carlito. Security and refs try to stop them.
Vince gets on the titantron and tells them to shut it down. If they really want to fight they will see action tonight. HHH leads the team of Carlito and Masters. Show and Kane will side with Cena in a 6 man tag match. He tells everyone to leave his ring because HBK’s big match is next.
The two in the ring are still glaring at each other.
- Commercial
The cage is being lowered to the ring. Recap of the flying piss. Even the security got nailed and freaked out. They paid no attention to the McMahons for a few moments after it happened.
HBK comes down to the ring as pumped up as ever and gets in the cage/ring. The Spirit Squad come down the ramp bouncing. Kenny, Johnny, Nicky and Mikey.
Mikey gets lifted and climbs over the top. HBK meets him half way up. The others climb in from other sides. HBK was holding his own briefly, but there were just too many of them. They each grabbed a limb and threw HBK into the air, just to let him drop. They all threw HBK into the side of the cage. HBK is propped in a corner and three of the guys make stairs out of their bodied for the fourth to climb and fly with a clothesline. They cover for two. They try the stairs thing again, but HBK moves.
HBK takes control dropping three guys. One climbs, but HBK moves. HBK nails two inverted atomic drops and another of other moves to keep them down. It looks as though he’s climbing out, but flies with an elbow. HBK tunes up the band and send one guy flying. He hits two back body drops and heads for the door.
The member who is outside slams the door on HBK. HBK slams Mitch (outside) with the door. HBK nails sweet chin music on a member who rushes him. HBK tries to leave and Shane slams the door on HBK. Shane enters the ring and pulls one of the guys over HBK for the win.
Shane then throws HBK into the sides of the cage a couple times until the blood starts flowing. Shane screams at HBK and orders the cage be raised. The Squad pulls HBK into a corner and sets HBK sitting with a trash can in his lap. Shane climbs and flies. (I’ve always loved watching him do that!)
- Winner: Spirit Squad
- Commercial
20 days until WM
Recap of the end of the cage match.
Outback Todd is talking to Trish about Torrie. Torrie has a concussion and compete on Saturday night. Trish thinks it’s convenient that Candice and Victoria are missing. Mickie comes up and asks Trish if she can be her partner, even thought Trish isn’t happy with her right now. Mickie says she cares about Trish and hates Candice and Victoria. Mickie says after the match they can go their separate ways. Trish doesn’t say anything, but nods.
King says Austin will be at SNME and shows an Austin video. Coach talks about the beer drinking contest.
Outback Vince is congratulating Shane for having HBK’s blood all over him. Shane says it will be much worse at SNME. Vince says he’s bringing someone back to call this match - JR. Shane says if JR doesn’t call the match right he will leave him as bloody as HBK. Shane walks out and Vince looks a little ill from Shane’s words about JR.
- Commercial
Flair is approaching the announce table. He is dressed in an amazing suit, as usual.
Slam of The Week is Flair and Shelton last week. Flair beat Shelton by DQ, but then beat him down with Mama’s oxygen bottle.
Shelton comes down to the ring sans Mama. He takes a mic and says Mama can’t be here because she needs heart surgery. Shelton’s almost in tears. He completely blames Flair. If anything happens to his Mama he will hold Flair personally responsible. Flair at the announce table asks if Shelton is talking to him. He says he knows she’s in the hospital watching, so he’s going to beat the hell out of anyone who... RVD’s music hits and he comes down to the ring.
They lock up. Shelton gets RVD in a hammer lock then takes him down. They go back and forth, but Shelton hides in the ropes. Shelton slams RVD, but gets kicked in the face. RVD hits two arm drags followed by a standing drop kick that send Shelton from the ring.
Shelton places RVD up top. RVD knocks him to the mat. Shelton rushes back up the ropes and grabs RVD. It’s not exactly a superplex, because RVD didn’t go over, but they landed in a side slam position.
- Commercial
Shelton has RVD in an armlock. RVD almost muscles out, but gets slammed to the mat. Shelton throws a bunch of punches. Flair threatens Coach. Shelton reapplies the armlock. RVD punches out, but misses a kick. Shelton tries a kick, but it barely grazes RVD. RVD gets whipped, but holds on missing Shelton’s standing drop kick. RVD gets tossed into a corner, but gets an elbow up. RVD nails a beautiful kick. Shelton gets tossed into a corner and gets another kick.
RVD hits rolling thunder for two. RVD flips Shelton out of a corner, but he lands on his feet. RVD hits a windmill kick. Shelton gets tossed from the ring, RVD flies after him. Shelton grabs his belt and heads for the ring. Flair gets up and gets on the apron to get the belt from him. RVD rushes to nails Shelton fm behind. Shelton moves and RVD runs into Flair knocking him to the floor and rolling away.
Shelton grabs RVD and quickly rolls him up. Holding the ropes Shelton gets a three count.
- Winner: Shelton Benjamin
King and Joey are happy to see JR coming back. Coach tells Joey it’s been nice working with him. Joey actually did look a little green at the mention of that. They then went through all the matches at SNME.
Carlito comes down to the ring, apple in hand. Masters comes out next, the camera man was at a bad Angle and zoomed in on his crotch as he came down the ramp. HHH comes down to the ring. He looked so much better earlier in his suit - these days he looks better in clothes.
- Commercial
Kane and Show are in the ring. Cena comes down to join them. Show starts with Carlito. Show tosses Carlito into a corner and slaps his chest a couple times. Show headbutts Carlito. Show puts Carlito in the face corner and shushes everyone before slapping his chest.
Kane tags in and upper cuts Carlito. Carlito runs into a big boot. Carlito gets whipped into two corners. The second time Kane clotheslines him in the corner. Kane nails a side slam. Masters rushes and gets an upper cut. Carlito leaps to his corner and tags HHH.
HHH tags in, so does Cena. Cena’s ready, HHH tags Carlito back in. Cena clotheslines him twice and then nails a amazingly high back body drop. Masters rushes the ring and gets a suplex from Cena for it. Cena stares HHH down until Masters attacks from the back. He stomps Cena down and then leaves the ring. Carlito, who’s the legal man, suplexes Cena and tags in Masters.
Masters nails a delayed vertical suplex on Cena and drags him into the heel corner so he can’t make a tag. Carlito tags in and throws punches and kicks. He covers for two. They start exchanging punches and Carlito face plants Cena and covers for two. Carlito whips, but Cena moves.
Cena dives for his corner and tags in Show. Show tags in and nails Carlito with two clotheslines. Masters rushes in =to the ring, straight into Show’s big boot. HHH rushes in yelling at Show. Show grabs HHH by the head and headbutts him to the mat. Carlito gets powerslammed. Show covers, but Masters breaks it up.
Kane climbs and drops Masters with a flying clothesline. Kane clotheslines Masters from the ring. Show gets HHH up in a military press and slowly flips him to the mat. Show and Kane both grab HHH for a choke slam.
Carlito and Masters enter the ring with chairs and nail both Show and Kane in the back with them. There was no reaction, other than them slowly turning around. The bell rings. Carlito and Masters roll from the ring, Show and Kane in hot pursuit. Show approaches Carlito outside. Carlito holds the chair up like he’s going to nail Show with it. Show bats it out of his hand as if it was a small toy. Kane does the same to Masters. Carlito and Masters run up the ramp. Show and Kane follow them.
(Carlito looks sluggish and like he doesn’t feel well. He was off mark a number of times, but was in the ring for most of the match and worked his ass off. I give him credit for giving his all tonight. He showed what a true hardworking professional does - gives it all, good or bad.)
HHH realizes he is alone in the ring area with Cena. Cena motions for HHH that he’s ready. HHH slowly gets in the ring. Suddenly Cena gets spun around and nailed with an RKO. Orton quickly leaves the ring and through the audience grinning at HHH. HHH screams at Orton as he’s leaving. He looks down at Cena and back at Orton pissed. He doesn’t look happy that his SNME team mate was jumped.
On the way out of the ring HHH looks at Cena and slightly smirks.
Biggest pop
Cena
Flair
HBK
Biggest heat
Vince
Shane
Edge & Lita
Orton
