WWE Velocity Report-28th May 2006
By Shaun Best-Rajah.Com Reporter
Commentators: Steve Romero & Josh Mathews
Welcome aboard Velociters. It looks as though there's only two more Velocity's left after today as Velocity will be making way for ECW which I'm led to believe will air on Sky Sports here in the UK. Don't worry there'll still be the Velocity awards albeit six months early. Glad to see Orlando Jordan has got the boot too. I never want to see him attempt to wrestle again. Yet another Sylvan match hasn't made the cut this week. His match with Matt Hardy doesn't air. Speaking of Mr Hardy I see Teddy Long made a mistake when making note of his good work. He said SmackDown! instead of Velocity. Oh well back to today. Three matches on tap so let's get things rolling. We begin with..........
Gunner Scott vs Lawrence Tyler
No it isn't Lawrence Taylor from WrestleMania 11. Lawrence Tyler is a tattooed white guy with a skull and cross bones on the back of his trunks although Steve thinks Tyler and Taylor could be related. Gunner comes out showing some fire and to piped in cheers. Lockup, Gunner throws Tyler down to the corner. Lockup, Gunner reverses a hammerlock and manages to sustain a couple of Tyler elbows. Tyler manages to counter following another elbow but Gunner turns and pushes Tyler down. Gunner forearms Tyler to the corner then stomps a mudhole in him. Tyler gets tossed to the mat then levelled with a clothesline for a nearfall. Gunner sends Tyler off the ropes into a dropkick for another nearfall. Gunner forearms Tyler to the corner. Irish whip, Tyler sidesteps a charge, Gunner hits the corner front first. Tyler boots the gut then suplexes Gunner for a nearfall. Gunner recovers to hit a boot, forearm and side russian legsweep for a nearfall. Tyler off the ropes telegraphs a backbodydrop attempt with a boot to the head. Tyler clotheslines Gunner down. Tyler with a cross armbar on the mat, Gunner gets up, Tyler throws him down by the hair before re-applying the hold. Gunner gets up pounding Tyler's back. Tyler knees the gut and charges into Gunner's overhead belly-to-belly suplex. (I guess this is no longer his finisher as Tyler gets up from this with Gunner not even going for a cover). Gunner forearms Tyler down three times before delivering a back suplex. Tyler staggers up, Gunner executes a release german suplex with a nasty landing for Tyler. (His head nearly spikes the mat but he manages to protect himself with his hands). Gunner covers for a nearfall before firing up to a lukewarm reaction from the crowd. Gunner measures Tyler before booting the gut and dropping him with a DDT. 1-2-3. Here is Your Winner: GUNNER SCOTT. Nice little match for Gunner although the crowd weren't interested in him. The Commentators put over the similarities between Gunner and Chris Benoit. I'm predicting Gunner to try and avenge Benoit and take on Mark Henry on SmackDown! this week.
Gregory Helms vs Shawn Osbourne
Non Title match. Helms begins by shoving Osbourne into the ropes. Helms grabs an arm, maneuvers into a side headlock, Helms cuts off then reverses a whip to the ropes but Osbourne floors Helms with a shoulder tackle after a step over. Osbourne with an armwringer and Irish whip charges into an uppercut. Helms hits a dropkick from the second rope before choking Osbourne in the bottom rope. Helms kicks at Osbourne in the corner before choking him with his boot and standing on him. Helms cuts off a fightback with a knee to the gut. Helms forces Osbourne down with a front facelock. Helms hooks Osbourne's arms on the mat and drives knees into his head. Helms kicks Osbourne who tries to fight back again but Helms sends his head into the turnbuckle. Helms lands a punch, Osbourne elbows the chest, Helms axehandles the back then delivers a suplex. Helms comes off the second rope but Osbourne catches him with a gut punch. Osbourne with a series of punches fires up. Helms off the ropes telegraphs a backbodydrop attempt with a boot to the head. Helms hits a reverse Unprettier before delivering the Nightmare on Helms Street (formerly the Eye of the Hurricane) for the 1-2-3. Better showing from Helms after his substandard resthold bore from Judgment Day. Here is Your Winner: GREGORY HELMS. Post match Helms talks smack with the belt and slaps Osbournes' head.
After highlights air of Bobby Lashley vs JBL, JBL talking himself into a World Title match and Rey Mysterio vs JBL we cut to an exclusive WWE.Com promo conducted by JBL shortly after his loss and SmackDown! swansong (On a sidenote following Rey's win the camera cut to the crowd and it looked like Headbanger Mosh was in the crowd embracing with a fellow fan. See for yourself if you have it on tape).
What JBL said in passing to Teddy Long on SmackDown! was if he didn't beat Rey Mysterio he would quit. His words were construed to be as good as a contract. That is not how verbal contracts work. JBL says you can not lead a witness by the police and you cannot take something out of context which is what Teddy Long did. JBL is consulting his attorneys. He has Jerry Spent. If JBL has to dig up Johnny Cochrane he will do it. JBL will defeat the WWE on this and he will defeat Teddy Long because SmackDown! is JBL's show and SmackDown! needs him. JBL has sold out arenas on five different continents. Teddy Long knew going into this match that JBL had broken T1. JBL also has nerve damage in his hips. He can't feel his right hip. JBL's having all kinds of health problems that he has to have checked out. But JBL was willing to go to the ring and perform and the one thing Teddy Long does is try to misconstrue JBL's words into the fact that JBL said he would retire if he did not beat Rey Mysterio. JBL did not say that and the fact that he has been working hurt, most of these young kids around here get a hangnail and won't come to work. They get a little twinged hamstring and won't come to work. JBL has been working with a freaking broken back and SmackDown! needs him and SmackDown! needs to know he will be back. Good promo. See you soon on Raw JBL.
Kid Kash & Jamie Noble vs Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki
Main Event time..... or not. Why is this match happening yet again. I won't be as detailed with this match as I normally am. This match went too long for me. Noble and Kash's Pitbulls gimmick is now in full swing. Kash looks more like a dog with his styled hair. Kash holds Noble back from the faces to start by his collar. As Scotty and Funaki work the crowd the new Pitbulls remove their collars and attack from behind. Noble tosses Scotty outside, Funaki gets sent off the ropes, Funaki hangs on kicking a charging Kash and backelbowing a charging Noble. Funaki bulldogs Noble (how appropriately named) and fires up. Funaki works over Noble's arm a little, Scotty tags in and he and Noble work some arm exchanges before Noble knocks Scotty down off the ropes. Noble shakes off the arm and tags in Kash who charges into three hiptosses. Scotty armbars Kash who takes Scotty to the corner and unloads with some headbutts. Scotty punches back sending Kash to a different corner. Scotty starts a mounted punch assault but breaks off to attack Noble. Noble grabs his chain/collar to distract Scotty. It works as Kash brings Scotty's neck down across his knee for a one count. Kash with headbutts and scratches to Scotty's back. After a double headbutt and chop attack Noble slams Scotty for a nearfall. Noble camel clutches Scotty. Noble breaks to knock Funaki off the apron. Funaki distracts the referee allowing Scotty to be double teamed in the wrong corner. Scotty tries to fight back but Noble takes Scotty down by one leg and pulls him back to the heel corner. Kash takes over with a snapmare, kick to the back and an armbar while pushing Scotty's face downwards. Kash switches to a wristlock before breaking. Noble and Kash with a double shove to Scotty off the ropes. Noble with a neck grip on Scotty who knees and elbows free. Noble prevents a hot Funaki tag and goes to powerbomb Scotty who counters with a backbodydrop before finally tagging out. Funaki leaps in with a cross body to Noble. Kash receives a gut punch. Inverted atomic drop to Noble. Enziguiri kick to Kash. Funaki splashes Noble in the corner then throws him to the mat and fires up. Funaki with a top rope cross body to Noble 1-2-broken up by Kash. Scotty runs in and the action breaks down. Scotty tosses Kash through the ropes. Noble gets Scotty on his shoulders and hits a gutbuster. Scotty rolls outside and out of the equation. Noble gets Funaki up, Funaki with a small package for a nearfall. Funaki sets Noble up for a tornado DDT from the second rope but Noble throws him off and nails a dropkick to the face. Noble gets Funaki up in a powerbomb position as Kash delivers a clothesline from the top rope. Funaki's head hits the mat hard and he's out cold as Noble covers for the 1-2-3. Not as bad as I was expecting but still very boring in the middle. I'm tired of this matchup as it seems like it's on every week. (Note: Funaki was legitimately out cold for around 2 minutes after taking that last move. He shouldn't miss any future TV time). Here Are Your Winners: KID KASH & JAMIE NOBLE.
While the dogs bark after their victory Steve signs off to end a pretty plain show. You won't miss much if you miss Velocity this week. Keep it here for Heat. Shaun.
Comments/praise/feedback/criticism please direct to shaunmb1@hotmail.com.