Outback Vince is talking about how HHH didn’t join the Kiss My Ass Club, and didn’t. Last week he was to be dismembered by the Spirit Squad, but it didn’t happen because of HBK.
Tonight there is to be a DX reunion, but Vince is going to take them apart. He’s going to kill DX. Vince walks out of the room he’s in and runs into a guy holding a chicken. Vince asks the guy why he’s holding a chicken.
The guy says it’s not a chicken, it’s a cock and apparently you like cocks sir.
Vince asks who put him up to this and then stomps off looking pissed and mumbling under his breath.
He walks out and there’s a person in all black, a black cape, an alien mask and big scary gloves. Vince stares at him and turns to walk off. The alien follows behind Vince doing the ‘Vince Strut’. Vince stops and really glares at the alien. The alien runs off.
Vince continues walking through the back stage area and comes across a couple guys with bare chests, black pants and bow ties. They are all oiled up. One of the gus says, “We’re ready to blow your mind sir.”
Vince glares at them as a third short, fat guy turns on some music. The three guys start dancing. The one in the middle, the fat one, is wearing black pants but rips them off to reveal a leopard thong. He is throwing around a bottle of water or oil which gets on Vince’s suit. The little fat dancer is jiggling and bouncing all for Vince.
Vince glares, shakes his head and walks off.
Then Dusty Rhodes stops him and tells him there’s one thing he needs to do tonight.
Vince says he needs to destroy DX.
Dusty says NO!. He then goes on to talk about his new DVD. He goes on and on about it and then runs off to sell his DVD to the strippers.
Vince keeps walking and is approached by a delivery guy. He asks if Vince will sign for his package.
Vince asks what package.
The gu pulls out a penis enlarger.
Vince slaps it out of his hand and screams that he’s going to kill DX. Vince stomps off out of the camera shot.
Out at ringside JR and King are laughing about what DX has done to Vince they think it’s great.
Vince comes out to the ring. He says he hopes we’ve had our fun because he’s going to destroy DX. He has two words for DX - ‘Living hell!’
He’s going to take his number 12 size shoe, the toe and shove it up HHH’s butt cheeks. He’s going to take the heel and knock their teeth out. Then he’s going to...
He stops because Shane is coming down the ramp - without music. Shane comes into the ring and tells Vince that Steph is in labor and they have to go. There’s a car waiting and they have to go now!
Outback Shane and Vince are heading to a limo when Coach stops them. Vince leaves Coach in charge of the show because his daughter’s in labor. He says she’s always got horrible timing - the bitch!
- Commercial
Video of Torrie Wilson during a photo shoot for the new WWE Magazine.
Torrie comes down to the ring in hot pink pants and a tiny black short sleeved shirt that ties in the front low between her boobs. Maria runs our in a red sparkly halter and black boy shorts, her white bra straps are showing due to the bra and panties match. Candice comes out in one of her white coats, a white top and daisy dukes. Mickie bounces out in a poofy white tink with purple flowers and a bouncy white lace skirt.
Candice and Torrie start off. Torrie gets slammed to the mat. Torrie goes for a sunset flip, but Candice drops to her knees. Candice’s top gets pulled off.
Mickie tags in and pulls off Torrie’s pants. Maria tags in and gets flap jacked by Mickie. Mickie pulls off Maria’s shorts and top. Torrie rushes in to help and get her top pulled of to loose the match for them.
Candice and Mickie celebrate in their win. Mickie clotheslines Candice and pulls off her daisy dukes. Mickie mocks Candice by doing the Go Daddy dance while swinging the daisy dukes over her head.
Mickie then leaves the ring and takes JR’s hat. The whole time she’s yelling about her wrestling ring and being the champ. She puts on JR’s hat and dances around with it on in front of the announce table. There’s a blonde over by the barrier - the area that wrestlers escape through the crowd in - and Mickie pulls the blonde’s shirt off. A security guard tried to cover and protect the blonde as Mickie laughs and teases her with the shirt.
- Winner - Mickie James & Candice Michelle
- Commercial
Slam of The Week is Charlie Haas apologizing the Lillian. Vis then attacks Haas for the accident.
Vis comes down to the ring where Haas waits. (My TV is flickering so I might miss something here - sorry!)
Vis takes a mic and tells him to apologize again, and this time he better mean it.
Haas says she accepted her apology.
Vis says she didn’t
Haas says they went out after the show last week. They went out to eat and he apologized over and over during pillow talk.
Lillian jumps to her feet outraged at Haas for saying such a thing.
Vis bitch slaps Haas to the mat and slams him over and over in the corner. Vis throws Haas from the ring and yells ay her to apologize. Haas gets rolled back in the ring and stomps Vis as he rolls in. Vis executes a hard sidewalk slam.
Haas tries to throw punches but gets slammed to the mat. Vis yells about pillow talk and punches Haas. Vis wants to know what Haas did and punches him down again. Haas gets whipped and hits the mat. Vis splashes Haas in the corner. Vis was about to finish off Haas when SQ rushes in and nails Vis with a chop block. They attack both Vis and Haas. They beat them both down in the ring. They can’t fight back against being double and triple teamed.
When my TV picture comes back Vis and Haas are gone and the SQ are in the ring. Kenny says apparently DX is back. He calls them out.
HBK and HHH are on the titantron. HBK is freaking about there being 5 of them and only 2 DX.
HHH tells him not to worry about it as they are only cheerleaders.
(Well, due to the storm here my TV picture flashed in and out through this whole segment, but here the gist of it...)
The verbally abused SQ and then dumped a huge lot of green slime in the ring on top of SQ. They were slipping all over the ring while HHH and HBK spray paint the ‘camera’ with “DX” in bright green spray paint. (They never came out from ‘outback’, so Steph COULD be in labor. I figured if HHH showed up then it was only storyline, but him not being out there means she could be. It could have been taped earlier. But who knows with WWE - they like messing with us.)
- Commercial
Video of bit of what DX just did. They had 2 words for SQ. The crowd yelled, ‘Suck it’. HHH says no, not those words. The words he was thinking of are, ‘Look up’. That’s when the slime fell.
Coach is outback with the green SQ. They are freaked and pissed. Coach says he’ll take care of it. They tell him he’d better doing something, or they would.
Coach walks into Vince’s office and Heyman is there. He throws Heyman out.
Heyman says he will leave if he doesn’t mind the show going from bad to worse.
Coach asks what he means.
Heyman says he has a busload of his guys in the parking lot ready to rip apart RAW.
Coach asks what he wants.
Heyman says his show was the top rated show last week and he wants a match between Edge and Orton against Angle and RVD.
Also, Cena wrapped a chair around Balls’ head. He wants tonight for Cena to face Balls tonight.
King and JR are complaining about being covered by green slime. There are a ton of people out by and in the ring cleaning up the mess left by DX.
Kane is outback to answer questions JR asks from the announce table. JR asks Kane if he knows who has been dressing as old Kane.
Kane says he knows. Growing up there was a guy who was even more demented than him. Kane was afraid of this guy.
JR asks what this guy did.
Kane stumbled and stuttered and then said, “You have no idea.” Then he walked off.
- Commercial
Umaga and Estrada come down to the ring. In the ring is John someone - a local guy. Video of Umaga and Hacksaw last week. Then Umaga attacked Eugene.
Umaga kicks the kid in the head and then punches him in the face. Both dropped him to the mat. Umaga ties him up-side-down in the corner and head butts him. John falls to the mat and Umaga bum slams him. Umaga tosses him across the ring and then nails the samoan spike. Umaga covers for three.
- Winner: Umaga
Umaga picks John up by his hair and tosses him from the ring. Estrada takes a mic and introduces himself - the crowd finishes Estrada for him. Estrada drops the mic pissed and they both stomp from the ring.
Outback Cena is heading for the ring.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind is Cena behind Edge in the crowd. RVD and Cena beat on Edge. Cena then attacks the rest of the ECW guys.
Cena comes down to the ring. He seems to be getting good pop tonight, but it’s hard to tell on TV. Balls comes down to the ring with Heyman. Balls has a chair in hand. They show more video from last week with Cena nailing Balls with a chair. Balls’ chair says ‘Cena must pay’.
Heyman gets the chair from Balls before they enter the ring. They exchange punches. Cena nails a back elbow and then a suplex for two. Cena throws more punches backing Balls into a corner.
Balls pokes Cena in the eye and then drops Cena face first into a second turnbuckle. Cena throws punches but gets kicked by Balls and covered fro two. Cena fights back with a suplex. Heyman hands the chair to Balls but Cena drops Balls to the mat and locks on the STFU. Balls taps.
- Winner: Cena
Heyman gets in the ring to check on Balls and is shocked when he’s face to face with Cena. Cena hears something behind him and turns to get a chair thrown in his face by Sabu. Sabu takes Cena down and pulls the barrier off the announce table. Cena follows and Sabu nails him in the face with a monitor. Sabu lays Cena, face down, on the announce table as Heyman sets a chair up in the ring. Sabu runs, bounces off the chair, lands on the top rope - balancing there beautifully - and then drops a leg on Cena, through the table.
Sabu can barely gets to his feet. Heyman and Balls help Sabu from the ring area while Cena lays there on the destroyed table with a gash over his right eye. Slowly Cena fights off the refs and staggers to his feet. He looks dazed but gets cheers from the crowd for getting up after taking that shot from Sabu.
- Commercial
Video of Sabu’s attack on Cena. They then show Cena leaving the area. The cut over his eye is gushing and looks gross. JR is pissed about Cena’s blood being all over the place and his table being destroyed, quite pissed.
Randy Orton is coming down to the ring. Snitsky is in the ring.
Orty pokes Snitsky in the eye and nails a back breaker. He drives a knee into Snitsky and covers for two. Orty locks on a headlock in the center of the ring. Gene gets to his feet and gets out throwing punches. Snitsky drops Orty to the mat twice and then nails a sidewalk slam. Snitsky hits a hard shoulder block and goes for a cup handle slam. Orty wiggles out and goes for the RKO. Gene gets out and goes for a big boots but Orty ducks. Orty then hits the RKO and covers for three.
- Winner: Orton
King gets in the ring and asks about the tag match tomorrow night. Orton says he’s not excited about going into an ECW ring with ECW rules, but he’s tougher than Cena. He’s not worried about Angle and will be taking apart Angle on Sunday. Vengeance will be his.
- Commercial
This Week In Wrestling History - 1981 Harley Race against Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes tried to win the title against Race. A flying body press wins the title for Rhodes.
Carlito is in the ring. He says he was back stage minding his own business, laughing about what happened to SQ. Coach heard him and made his match a handicap match. Coach isn’t cool. Nitro and Melina come down to the ring. Melina is in a long red shirt an a tiny black miniskirt that hangs only about 2 inches below the shirt. Shelton comes out to be his partner. They are in a triple threat match on Sunday.
Carlito and Nitro tie up. Carlito get slammed to the mat. Carlito lays on his mat and uses his feet to flip Nitro across the mat. Nitro throws punches. Carlito goes for a springboard, but Nitro moves. Carlito lands on his feet and then nails a standing drop kick.
Shelton tags in and gets suplexed. They Carlito nails a high knee and a clothesline for two. Shelton nails a back body drop and Nitro gets blind tag. They argue about it. Shelton won’t leave the ring and pushes Nitro. they gets into a pushing match and Shelton gets clotheslined from the ring by Nitro.
Carlito quickly rolls up Nitro. Nitro counters and rolls up Carlito and holds his tights for the three.
- Winners: Shelton & Nitro
Carlito and Shelton stand in the ring looking bewildered. Shelton then attacks Carlito. Carlito hits a back cracker on Shelton before leaving the ring.
- Commercial
(My TV picture blinked out again due to the storm, so I missed a bit here.)
HHH and HBK are in a room with the walls spray painted with DX in green and black. Coach is in the room with them.
Coach says Vince wanted them to have first class accommodations for their first night together.
HHH says that’s great and they should watch the rest of the show together. They sit down on the sofa together. Coach is in the middle with HHH on one side and HBK on the other.
Maria interviews Eugene. Eugene says he almost didn’t recognize her from earlier seeing her in her bra and panties. He says she’s pretty.
She thanks him and asks how Hacksaw is.
Eugene says he’s at home. He says Hacksaw is his friend. He know Umaga is big and strong and mean. But Hacksaw is coming over to his house and...
Rob Conway shows up and says Hacksaw isn’t going anywhere. He says the two of them are the same - totally worthless.
Eugene goes crazy and takes Rob apart. Eugene then runs off yelling.
Video of what Sabu just did to Cena.
JR and King go through all the matches at Vengeance.
Outback HBK and HHH say it looks like a great PPV. They then ask Coach if he’s going to get the PPV, is he going to buy it. They go back and forth asking him and bugging him.
Coach tell them they don’t know what they’re going to be dealing with in Vince.
They then completely agree with Coach and act like he’s right. Suddenly HHH’s face changes and HBK slaps Coach on the back. The two of them throw Coach over the sofa and head first through the wall. His body is hanging out. They pull down his draws to expose his tushie. Coach is wearing a thong! HBK is shocked and says it’s silly for a grown man to wear a thong. HHH looks a bit guilty, as if he’s wearing a thong himself.
They then take their spray paint cans and paint DX on his bum cheeks.
- Commercial
A Highlanders promo. They are trying to figure out how to get into their hotel room. The card doesn’t work so they slam through the door. They think the TV shows are garbage. They find ‘Adult Titles’. They say they’re adults and they want the world tag title. They turn on porn and decide they like America.
Foley is with King and JR. He says he’s going to stink up the match this Sunday. He’s got horrible things in story for Flair. He’s got the worst match planned for Flair. He says Vince may be manipulative and cold hearted, but he can’t do anything about it because Foley can do whatever he wants. JR and ask if Foley is serious. Foley says he is. This match will be a fiasco and a debacle.
Edge comes down to the ring with Lita. Flair comes down to the ring.
They lock up and Flair gets backed into a corner. Edge nails a back body drop on Flair and then hits a scoop slam. Flair fights back with chops and punches.
Flair is in a corner and Edge goes for a spear, but Flair moves letting Edge hit his shoulder hard. Edge brings a chair in. The ref takes it away and Flair hits a low blow on Edge.
Lita is on the apron and gets flipped over the top rope into the ring by Flair.
Foley interferes in the match from outside somehow (TV problems again). Edge spears Flair and covers for the three.
- Winner: Edge
RVD is suddenly up top in one of the corners. He flies off the top with a dropkick on Edge. RVd then kicks Foley from the ring and lands a five star frog splash on Edge. RVD leaves through the crowd.
Outback SQ is getting Striker, Umaga, Murdoch and a bunch of others wound up about DX. They say that DX will be going after them all and they need to take out DX before they make fools out of all of them. They all cheer and head off to take apart DX.
- Commercial
Green strobe lights fill the arena. Then DX’s original, “Are you ready?” hits and HBK & HHH come out looking like we all love and remember them in jeans and black DX shirts. They do their chops in the ring to the ‘X’ in ring pyro. They even posed as they used to as DX.
They each have a mic and huge smiles. This has to be fun for them. ‘DX’ chants fill the arena. HHH says he thinks he knows the answer, but he’s still going to ask... “Are you ready?” Huge cheer. He asked again and got even bigger pop. HHH does their old DX call phrases.
HBK says there’s more. “If you’re not down with that... Two words for you!” HBK says he guilt ridden. He has to ask the lord and us for forgiveness. Vince and Shane are flying back to Connecticut worrying about the princess and her flavor thing.
HHH calls HBK a liar.
HBK asks would have made such a phone call.
They both look guilty.
HBK then asks who could have gotten the princess pregnant.
HHH says he must be quite a stud and has ro be hung down to here (his knee).
HBK cuts him off and talks about Vengeance.
They get cut off by SQ music. 5 midgets come down to the ring, two of them fat. DX knock them down and do a tiny sweet chin music.
HHH says it must have been HBK’s idea, but it came up a bit short. HHH says he’s been thinking about cheerleaders, but a bit different. He has HBK put on a blindfold to avoid temptation.
4 cheerleaders come out and do a DX cheer. They take off their tops to show black bras with DX on their boobs.
HHH asks if they are wearing under wires. If they are uncomfortable they can take them off. They are about to when SQ music hits.
All the guys come out, but the followers turn around and head back. Three SQ members try to call them back while two of them are in the ring yelling at DX not knowing they’re alone. Suddenly they realize they’re alone and are all upset. One gets pedigreed, the other gets sweet chin music.
The other three pull the two from the ring. The midgets climb back in the ring. HHH grabs a mic and tells SQ they are facing DX on Sunday. HHH has two words for them... The midgets drop their draws and moon the SQ. They have ‘SUCK IT’ on their bums. 4 each have S-U-C-K on them the last has IT on his bum.
Biggest pop
DX!!!
Cena
Midgets
Biggest heat
Spirit Squad
Vince
Coach
