RAW this week starts with music and pyro - no opening hook this week.
DX’s music hits and HBK comes out but The Game isn’t with him. HBK is bouncing around the ring all giggly and happy - huge smile on his face. He takes a mic after dancing around the ring a bit. He says that a few weeks ago DX played a joke on the McMahons. They told them Steph was in labor. Well, life often imitates art - Steph is in labor right now!
Faithfully by her side are her father, Vince - boos from the crowd, and her brother, Shane - boos. But unbeknownst to them HHH is lurking in that same hospital. Somehow he has an inside scoop into this whole pregnancy thing. “Between you guys and me - I think he knows who the father is.” The crowd erupts into laughter. HBK’s facial expressions are making his whole in ring segment just that much funnier. He’s almost giddy - most likely aver Steph.
That not withstanding, even though only ½ of DX is there - he promises to deliver twice the fun.
Coach’s music hits and he smugly comes down to the ring. Coach talks into a cell phone and says, “Yes, sir, I’m in the ring with him right now.” Coach says to HBK that just because the McMahons are not there, doesn’t mean HBK will be running amuck.
HBK asks why.
Coach says he’s running the show tonight.
HBK rolls his eyes and whistles.
Coach says HBK may not take him seriously, but Coach is the only one who has Vince on speed dial.
HBK takes the cell phone and talks a bit and then tells Vince that even though HBK hasn’t been in a delivery room in a long time, he doubts they would like Vince using that type of language. He then says Cleveland has two words for him. The crowd screams, “Suck it!” HBK tells Vince to remember the Lamaze breathing. He then starts breathing at Vince. HBK hands the phone back to Coach saying Vince is mad.
Coach talks into the phone a bit. Coach doesn’t seem happy.
HBK asks if Vince asked about him? HBK bounces around like a puppy dog.
Coach says he didn’t, but mentioned him. He says HBK will be in a match tonight.
HBK says he figures he will be in the ring with all of SQ.
Coach says no, HBK will be going one on one with Coach.
HBK stares at Coach for a bit then throws an arm around him and laughs hysterically. HBK stops laughing as suddenly as he started. HBK then falls to the mat laughing hysterically again. HBK rolls around in the ring laughing and making funny faces into the camera while Coach leaves the ring with his head hung low.
Video recap of the start of the Orton and Hogan feud. JR says Hogan will be here later tonight.
- Commercial
Lillian announces a Tag Title match. SQ comes out. Looks like Mikey and Kenny will be the ones defending the belts. Video of Lillian being Samoan dropped by Big Vis. Then Haas and Vis laugh together. The Highlanders come down to the ring.
Rory and Kenny tie up. Kenny shoulder blocks Rory and then bounces his head off the top turnbuckle. Kenny then gets his head bounced off the top turnbuckle and tags in Mikey.
Mikey tries to suplex Rory but can’t lift him and gets slammed himself. Rory headbutt-tags Robbie in and Robbie covers for two. Both pairs are in the ring and the Highlanders trap each SQ in a corner and throw 10 punches.
Kenny tags in and beats down Robbie. Mikey tags in and gets slammed to the mat after a blind tag. Rory tags in. Rory throws a bunch of back elbows and a back body drop. The Highlanders are going for the scot drop and two other SQ members distract the ref while the rest attack The Highlanders. The SQ rolls from the ring and Kenny takes Rory down and covers for three.
- Winner: Spirit Squad
Mick is in Stamford on satellite. He says he watched RAW last Monday. He can’t believe Flair called Mick ‘Fat Boy’. It hurt when Foley’s brother called him Fat Boy 30 years ago, but not from Flair. What has become of Flair when he resorts to fourth grade humor. Foley expected to meet the great and powerful OZ, but Foley’s getting the guy behind the curtain. Foley starts ranting and screaming.
Foley then starts talking in Dr. Seuss- isms. He then gets really pissed about Flair attacking a woman. A woman who is a close and personal friend of Foley’s - Melina. Foley says he will be coming to New Jersey next week, but not to wrestler Flair - He’s going to take Flair apart.
- Commercial
WWE 24/7 - July 23, 1989 - Great American Bash - Funk faces Flair for the title. Funk used a branding iron on Flair’s head when Flair had the figure 4 on. Flair reverses a cradle for the win. The Great Muta attacks Flair and then Sting rushes in and helps Flair.
Flair’s music hits and he comes down to the ring grinning and dressed well. He asks Foley if he saw what happened in 1989 to his hero Funk. It’s not about how fate you are, it’s not about thumb tacks, it’s about being a man. Flair wants Foley in a match. He wants Foley to be ½ the man Flair is every day of his life.
Edge’s music hits and he comes out with Lita. Edge says Foley’s ring, Flair isn’t the man - Edge is. Edge tells Flair he’s had enough and won’t listen to it any more. Edge is the MVP of the show and will tell Flair what’s going on.
Nitro crawls in the ring and attacks Flair from behind. Edge rushes in the ring and he also attacks Flair. The two of them are beating down Flair when Cena RUNS to the ring and attacks Nitro and Edge. Edge and Nitro roll from the ring. Lita comforts Edge and Melina rushes down to meet Nitro on the ramp and comforts him.
Cena stands in the ring glancing at Flair and glaring at Edge.
Outback Trish is talking Carlito. He tells her she was great in the ring last week, and looked good too. He says he wants to tell her something. He talks to her in Spanish.
She admits she doesn’t know any Spanish.
He says it’s okay. Then he puts his hand on her waist and asks of they can ‘hang out’ after his match.
Trish looks down at his hand then smiles up at him. She tells him they can and she’d like that.
- Commercial
Coach is on the phone outback talking to Vince. He’s complaining about his match with HBK. Edge rushes in with Lita screaming about what just happened in the ring. He wants Coach to talk to Vince about it.
Coach does briefly and says there will be a tag match later tonight. It will be Edge and Nitro against Flair and Cena. Coach tells them to show themselves out because he has a match to get ready for.
Todd Grisham comes out onto the stage. He announces that Steph just gave birth to her first child. She has a daughter named Aurora Rose. She weighs 8lbs, 7oz. He congratulates her and the family.
Shelton comes out for a Number One Contender match for the IC Title. Video of Carlito using the ropes to beat Shelton last week. JR says he heard Shelton complained about Carlito’s cheating and got a rematch. Carlito comes out to face him.
Shelton tells the ref to keep an eye on Carlito. Carlito quickly rolls Shelton up twice for two. Carlito hits a running knee lift then covers for two. Carlito telegraphs and gets kicked for it. Carlito tries to suplex Shelton. Shelton ends up on the apron and hangs Carlito up on the top rope. Carlito gets tossed into a corner and he ends up rolling to the floor.
Shelton hits an arm bar takedown for two. Shelton gets an arm bar on Carlito in the center of the ring. Shelton gets his eyes raked and backs off. Carlito looks dead on his feet then quickly hits a beautiful standing hurricanrana.
Shelton kicks Carlito but then gets dropped on his face for two. Carlito springboard back elbows Shelton for two. Shelton gets whipped, but gets his feet up. Carlito hits a standing dropkick. Carlito climbs slowly. Shelton gets to his feet and leaps to the top ropes, holding onto Carlito’s hair. Carlito punches Shelton and pushes him off the top. Carlito flies down but gets caught in an armbar. Carlito is about to tap but gets to the ropes.
Carlito is about to be power bombed but is able to sunset flip for two. Carlito manages to nail the back cracker but Shelton gets his foot on the ropes at two.
Shelton gets to a corner and loosens a turnbuckle pad while Carlito and the ref argue. Carlito looks at the pad and the ref yells at him for it. Shelton pushes Carlito into the ref. Carlito stops himself so the ref won’t get hurt on the missing pad. Carlito jumps up and flips off the corner over the ref and Shelton. Shelton hits a mule kick and covers Carlito for three.
- Winner: Shelton Benjamin
Video from Smackdown and the Diva Dance Off. Milena wins the Dance Off.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Orton and Hogan at the car at SNME, Orty RKO’s Hogan on the trunk of the car.
Hogan’s music hits and he comes out to HUGE pop. Hogan takes a mic and has to wait for the crowd to die down before he can speak. Hogan leans on the ropes waiting for the crowd to stop. The music stops and the crowd starts a ‘Hogan’ chant. He almost starts speaking but can’t because he’s a bit choked up. He says there’s a bunch of crazy Hulkamaniac in Cleveland. He also says Randy is in a heck of a lot of trouble. He interrupted Hogan and Brooke to lecture Hogan about respect. Orty doesn’t respect the guys outback or the Hulkamaniacs.
Hogan says he had a run in with ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton. They had it out and then things were fine. But Orty is totally different. He has no respect. Hogan will beat some respect into him - with a capital R.
Orty’s music hits and he comes out to the stage in jeans and a T-shirt. He says he’s not there to talk about respect. He’s here to talk about Brooke. He met her at SNME and there was a lot of chemistry there. It was so obvious, unless you are old and losing your sight. They really connected - They spoke for at least five or ten minutes before Hogan showed up.
He says he thinks he’s gorgeous and has a great physique. She also said she loves the color of his eyes. His only regret about their budding relationship is that Brooke has to watch him destroy the legend of Hulkamania.
Hogan says not to let that stop him. Hogan’s in his gear and wants to go.
Orty slowly goes down to the ring. He slowly starts climbing in the ring but backs off when Hogan reaches for him. Orty goes around the ring and tries again. This time he slips while dropping down and falls into the announce table. King grabs onto Orty to keep him from falling on the table. Orty turns around and slaps King away. Orty yells at King and smacks at him again a couple times.
Orty again slowly heads to the ring. King gets up and grabs Orty from behind and throws him into the ring.
Orty backs away from Hogan and then tries to attack him. Hogan gets the upper hand and tosses Orty around a bit. Orty gets tossed into the ropes and Hogan gets his leg up for the big boot, but Orty grabs the ropes and rolls from the ring.
Orty backs up the ring from Hogan holding his jaw and glaring at him. JR congratulates King for a job well done. King says he’s lost a lot of respect for Orty tonight.
- Commercial
Video from last week’s Diva match with Candice as the ref.
Candice comes down to the ring in a long white coat. She takes it off on the apron to show a white two piece outfit with a lot of beads, sequins and fringe. Mickie James comes out in a chocolate brown miniskirt and matching halter.
Mickie attacks Candy and tosses her to the mat. Mickie strattles her and throws a bunch of punches. She chops Candy and then kneels on her back and pulls her hair. Mickie gets a headlock on Candy and screams at her. Candy fights to hrt feet and throws elbows to get out. Mickie immediately throws a knee to the gut and tosses her in a corner. Mickie slams her shoulder into Candy’s gut a couple times but then gets a bunch of punches to the face.
Candy gets on Mickie’s shoulders and hangs down backward with her ands on the apron choking Mickie. At a four count Candy lets go and drops to her feet on the floor. Candy gets back up on the apron and does her little dance then climbs. Candy executes a pretty decent flying crossbody. The momentum carries them over and Mickie covers Candy, while holding her tights, for three.
- Winner: Mickie James
Mickie backs up the ramp screaming and Candy stands in the ring looking a bit confused.
- Commercial
DX’s music hits and HBK comes down to the ring dancing and grooving as he was earlier. He’s bouncing around as if it was his baby, not his best friend’s baby that was just born. HBK goes to do the normal DX in-ring poses, but there’s no pyro. He grabs a mic and says he’s pissed because Coach is messing with his pyro. He asks if we are ready, little cheer. He gets up on the corner and asks if WE ARE READY!!!. He starts his little DX talk and Coach’s music cuts in.
Coach comes down and slowly climbs the stairs. The bell ring and HBK stops Coach and leaves the ring. He goes under the ring bell table and puts on a black swimming cap over his hair, but not tucking his hair up inside of it. He then gets back in the ring.
They tie up and Coach gets backed into a corner. They turn around and then turn again. HBK throws a bunch of punches and an ‘HBK’ chant starts. One of the punches lands Coach on the mat. HBK pants Coach. Coach pulls up his pants and gives HBK a thumb to the eye. HBK nails an inverted atomic drop and then a scoop slam.
HBK climbs and nails a flying elbow. HBK is about to tune up the band when the SQ rushes the ring. HBK takes them apart one by one. The last one gets sweet chin music. Coach is crawling around the ring and HBK tunes up the band. HBK nails a perfect sweet chin music on Coach, but then Umaga is right behind HBK.
Umaga throws HBK (HIGH) up into the air, catches him on his shoulders and Samoan drops him. SQ rushes the ring and Umaga runs them off. Umaga nails the Samoan spike to leave HBK writhing on the mat.
- Commercial
Video recap of what just happened to HBK in the ring. JR says Coach isn’t smart enough to think of something like that - it had to be Vince.
Maria is outback with Cena. She all confused about Cena’s match later - Who he’s tagging with, who he’s facing.
Cena stops her and says they’ve known each other for quite a while now. He says when he looks at her he sometimes wonders if she ate paint chips as a child. She looks at him confused. He then says sometimes he looks at her and want to do things that they write about in Penthouse.
He says it’s a steamy night in Cleveland. Also, Steph had a baby. HHH seems to know who the father is, or whatever. The show is being run over a cell phone. Mick is calling out Ric, Ric is calling out Mick. Then Edge, who’s rate PG13, but Lita is rated NC17 - no cold sores for 17 days. He talks about Nitro and Melina - Melina’s splits to be precise. He does a mini-PSA. He goes on and on about the people on tonight’s show. Carlito’s hair is out of control. Through it all there is a focus that stands clear. Flair is his partner and he gets to kick Edge’s ass.
As he walks off he holds up his hand and tells Maria to call him.
- Commercial
Video of King throwing the first pitch out at a Cleveland Indians game. It was quite a horrible pitch.
The Miz comes out for the Diva Search. He gets almost no pop. He calls out all the girls who come out if skimpy bikinis and lingerie. He says one will be eliminated. Even though Milena won the Dance Off they are all up for elimination.
The Miz walks behind the girls and eliminates Maryse. Milena is shaking her head when Maryse leaves, she looks confused or pissed.
The Miz says they will compete in Diva Musical Chairs on Smackdown this week (yay). He walks down the line introducing the girls again. Jen has a wide waistband on with her white bikini with her name in huge letters. She’s doing everything to get her name out there.
- Commercial
Nitro and Melina come down to the ring. Melina is in a black and white top with about 3 inches of miniskirt fringe hanging out from underneath. Edge comes out with Lita. Lita is wearing an altered T-shirt with her boobs almost falling out the top. Edge gets up on the corner and spins the center of the belt. Flair is out next in a black sequined robe with blue feathers. Last, but not least, is Cena. Cena is spazzing out and bouncing around the ring. He’s screaming at Edge to get in the ring.
Nitro and Flair start. Flair throws some chops. Nitro thumb Flair’s eye and tags in Edge. Edge gets chopped. Nitro rushes in and so does Cena. Cena grabs Edge and tosses him from the ring.
- Commercial
Nitro has Cena on the mat in the heel corner. Edge tags in but Cena throws a back elbow. Edge regains control. Flair rushes in and the ref stops him. Nitro chokes Cena when the ref isn’t looking. Nitro tags in and stomps Cena in a neutral corner. Cena gets whipped but moves to leave Nitro running into the corner.
Flair tags in and nails a back body drop on Nitro. Flair nails a chop block and locks on the figure 4. Edge rushes in to break it up. Cena rushes in but Edge side steps him. Cena goes over the top. Edge spears Flair and covers. Cena breaks up the count at two. Nitro tags in and chokes Flair with his boot.
Flair gets pushed to the outside and the Divas attack him while Nitro distracts the ref. Flair gets rolled back in and throws some chops. Flair misses a clothesline but Nitro nails his clothesline.
Edge tags in, but Flair is outside. Cena tries to get in the ring and Nitro beats on Flair outside. Back in the ring Flair chops Edge hard a couple times. Edge fights back with punches. The ref breaks it up. Flair reverses an Irish whip but gets a boot to the face. Edge climbs but flies into Flair’s chop. Nitro tags in, but so does Cena. Cena nails a right hand, a clothesline and a shoulder block. Cena goes for the five knuckle shuffle, but Lita distracts the ref and Cena. Edge hits Cena in the back with a chair from the outside in the middle of his move. Edge covers for two.
Cena locks the STFU on Nitro. Edge is trying to get in the ring to stop Nitro from tapping but Flair grabs Edge’s ankle so he can’t get to Nitro. Nitro taps out. Cena and Flair celebrate with a big hug outside the ring and then raising each other’s arms in the ring.
- Winners: Cena & Flair
Biggest pop
Hulk Hogan
HBK/DX
Flair
Biggest heat
Orton
Edge, Lita, Nitro & Melina
Biggest flop
Diva Search
The Miz
