RAW this last day of July starts with music and pyro, no opening hook.
JR and King talk about some of tonight’s happenings, including ‘Orton Knows Best’.
Shane-O-Mac comes out to the stage. The music changes and Vince comes out. They walk to the ring together to Vince’s music. They are both grinning ear to ear. They get booed.
Vince says despite what’s happened recently on RAW, you can’t get the smiles off their faces. That’s because his baby girl Steph gave birth to a baby girl. The mic makes a funny noise - Vince glares at it and asks what the hell is going on. He then says his granddaughter is far more wealthy than anyone else here.
Shane cuts in and says she’s more intelligent too.
Vince says the party will go on through SS. Vince says they will dedicate their match at SS to Steph’s daughter. It will be Vince and Shane against DX.
DX’s music starts and then cuts off.
Shane says they’re playing mind games. Shane asks if HBK will survive Umaga.
DX music starts and stops again.
Vince begins speaking and DX music hits full force.
HBK and HHH come out to the stage.
HBK says they’re not there to rain on their parade, they are there to congratulate them. As they say in the old country, Mazl-tov.
HHH says they’re not Jewish.
HBK says something in Yiddish and HHH responds in Yiddish also. (I think he said goyim, but I’m not sure. My Yiddish is really bad.)
HBK says he wants to talk about the newest member of the McMahon family. He says HHH was also in the hospital when the baby was born. He’s also acquired the entire McMahon family scrapbook.
HHH says it’s true. Including the very first photo of Vince McMahon. We need to bear with them because they didn’t have color photography back then and Civil War photos didn’t fare very well.
The photo is of Vince’s head on a baby’s body. The baby is wearing a jumper with I heart and a drawing of a rooster, on the front.
The also have the first photo of Shane. It’s his head on a baby wearing a Shane-O-Mac shirt. He has a silver spoon in his mouth.
HHH says that when Shane was born he got up on the delivery table and danced around swinging his umbilical cord.
Vince says it’s enough.
HHH says it’s not enough because he has the first photo of the baby.
The photo is of HHH’s head on a baby’s body. The baby’s shirt had DX spray painted on it.
HBK says she looks familiar, but he can’t put his finger on it.
Shane, all flustered, says they (DX) are the babies and at SS, they will be changing their diapers.
HBK asks, laughing if he just asked if Shane said they’d be changing their diapers.
HHH says they have two words for them. The crowd says, ‘Suck IT!’.
Vince calls for his music, DX calls for their’s, but nothing happens.
HHH says they’re having problems in the production truck tonight.
Vince says they will be playing his music, not DX.
DX tells them not to listen to Vince and play their music.
After a pause they play DX’s music. They also set off the DX pyro in the ring so DX can chop the McMahons from the stage.
(Hope the production truck gets their act together or it’s going to be a long night.)
- Commercial
The Miz is outback talking about the Diva Contest. He says they were each asked who they would want to see eliminated next. (He didn’t fumble too bad this time.)
On video Jen says JT should go next - she’s not original, unlike Jen. (Yawn)
Carlito’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. Shelton Benjamin comes down next. Melina and Nitro come out last. Melina is in a white and black shirt and a tiny black skirt. She does her normal split ring entrance.
Nitro is about to slide into the ring between Melina’s legs, but he runs into Carlito’s baseball slide. They are on the outside exchanging punches when Shelton flies over the top and takes them both down.
- Commercial
Shelton has a headlock on Nitro in the center of the ring. Shelton lets go to boot Carlito in the face dropping him back down to the floor. Nitro tries for a standing moonsault, but Shelton moves. Carlito sunset flips over the top and covers Shelton for two. Nitro kicks Carlito in the back to break it up.
Carlito gets whipped by Nitro, then Nitro whips Shelton trying to nails Carlito with him, Carlito moves. Shelton flips Nitro over with his feet. Nitro does a full flip and lands on his face, hard. It looks like he was going to try to land on his feet and changed his mind half way through, then over rotated.
Nitro throws punches to Carlito in the center of the ring. Carlito nails a quick hurricanrana. Nitro’s down and Shelton nails a DDT on Carlito. Shelton covers Carlito and Melina puts Carlito’s foot on the ropes to save her boyfriend’s title.
Shelton is yelling at Melina and Carlito comes up behind him. Nitro slams into both of them. Shelton goes over the top and Carlito gets rolled up. Nitro holds Carlito’s tights for three.
- Winner: Nitro
On video Layla says it’s a hard choice, but she thinks Milena should be voted off next - she can talk the talk, but can’t walk the walk.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Hogan in the ring last week. King tosses Orton in the ring and then runs from a fight with Hogan.
Orton is in the ring. He says at SS he’s going to take the legend of Hogan and kill it. Boos. After that happens, his career will take off. Movies, maybe he will write a few books. ‘Hogan’ chant. He actually has an offer for his own reality show.
He introduces the cast to ‘Orton Knows Best’. Hogan’s music hits. Fake Hogans come out - his whole family, and a fake Hogan. They all get in the ring and wave to the audience. They actually look pretty good, if a bit over anxious to be there.
He thanks them for coming and says he has a question for Nick. He asks what he wants to do when he grows up.
Fake Nick says he wants to be a wrestler just like his father.
Orton tells Nick he needs to loose some hair and learn to take some of this. He then beats on Fake Nick and tosses him from the ring.
He says Hogan’s wife Linda is an animal lover. And they gave birth to a beautiful baby girl - Brooke. He takes Fake Brooke’s hand and Fake Hogan cuts in and verbally rips Orton apart.
Orton tells Fake Hogan he needs a reality check. At SS Orton’s going to destroy Hogan’s legend. Hogan can kiss his career goodbye. In the mean time he has a kiss of his own he wants.
He grabs Fake Brooke, dips her and plants one on her.
He then RKO’s Fake Hogan. Fake Linda rushes to Fake Hogan’s side. Fake Brooke walks Orton to the ropes and follows Orton around the ring from the inside of the ropes. Orton slowly walks around the ring staring at Fake Brooke. Orton leans against the announce table still staring at Fake Brooke.
Suddenly Orton swings around and bitch slaps King out of his chair.
Outback Vince and Shane are talking. Estrada walks in and thanks them for giving Umaga a match with HBK. He congratulates the McMahon’s on the new baby girl. He gives them each a cigar.
Vince says something about being on the cover of a cigar magazine.
Estrada says he has three boxes in the car and it’s their’s if they want them.
Vince says they do, so Estrada rushes out to get them.
- Commercial
Video recap of Orton bitch slapping King from his chair. King says Orton has no respect for anyone. Next week they are in Memphis. King challenges Orton to an ass whipping. Not a match, an ass whipping.
Erica thinks Rebecca should be the next to go - she already has a contract with another company and can’t give WWE all her attention.
Torrie Wilson comes out in a tiny black miniskirt and a zebra ref shirt. Her hair is in pig tails. Trish and Candice come out to Trish’s music. Trish is in all black. When Candice takes her jacket off, she reveals black boy shorts and a tiny red shirt that’s slashed across the front. Victoria and Mickie come out, both in two piece outfits, both in black and silver.
Vic and Candy tie up. Candy gets slammed to the mat. They tie up again and Candy flips Vic to the mat. Candy gets an arm bar on Vic and flips her to the mat. Candy drives a knee to Vic’s chest and then reapplies an arm bar. Vic knees Candy in the head and tags in Mickie.
Mickie climbs and slams into Candy’s arm. Candy nails Mickie with some forearms but telegraphs and gets slammed for it. Mickie has Candy by the hair and pulls her in the air by it. Mickie covers for two. Mickie tries to hit Trish who rushes in. Torrie stops her.
Vic climbs but Candy drops her hard to a sitting position up top. Trish tags in and handstand head scissors Vic in the corner. Trish then hits stratusfaction on Mickie but has to stop to go after Vic. Vic gets pushed from the ring and lands hard. Trish hits a hard powerbomb on Mickie for two.
Trish hits a horrible stratusfaction on Mickie (Mickie saves the move from being a total flop) and covers. Vic rushes in to break it up but Candy dropkicks her before she can interfere. Trish covers for three.
- Winners: Trish & Candice
Outback Nitro, Melina and Foley are talking about cheap wine and Nitro’s title defense. Foley asks Melina to introduce him. She agrees and they leave together. Nitro tells her to, ‘Keep it sexy’ as she leaves.
- Commercial
On video Milena says she likes this girl, but doesn’t think she’s athletic enough - Erica.
Melina is in the ring and announces Foley as a good friend of hers and the hardcore legend.
He thanks her for being there. He says important people should be there for important things. He’s decided to give the fans what we want. Foley and Flair in the ring, as they join forces for tag team gold.
Foley tells Melina that he and Flair aren’t that different. They both believe in helping the younger superstars. Flair took Orton under his wing. A few months ago Foley took Melina under his wing. He puts his arm around her shoulders
They both have famous friends. Flair is friends with the President. Boos from the crowd. Foley is friends with porn star Christy Canyon. She gets applause.
Foley says one friend made it to the top by screwing a lot of people, and the other was in adult films.
They’ve both made national headline. Foley was on USA Today twice and was interviewed by Katie Couric twice. Flair was in the media due to that road rage incident.
Flair’s music hits and he comes down to the ring in a beautiful suit.
Foley says he’s been expecting him.
Flair tells him to keep his mouth shut. He’s been waiting three weeks. Three weeks in his live is a long time. Is it really Foley here in New Jersey? Is this really hardcore, Cactus Jack Foley?
Flair says they’re long over due. Who cares about Foley’s book, they should be wrestling. He says Foley is lazier than A-Rod. Flair says he drank more than one glass of wine writing his book. His book is a lifetime of greatness. Flair says something about Foley talking about imaginary bad asses. Flair rattles off a bunch of names. He says those guys would walk over Foley on the way to the bathroom.
Flair says he had 19 stitches that Foley put there. He asks if Foley tasted his blood. He says he wants to taste Foley’s. Flair does a Flair fall. He says he wants Foley, he wants Cactus Jack, he wants Mankind. He tells him to pull out Socko, so Flair can shove him up Foley’s ass. Flair asks who wants to see Flair and Foley. Cheers.
Flair says he wants to fall off a steel cage. He wants thumb tacks. He wants Foley. Flair says it makes him mad to hear him talking about his wife, his kids, all that crap. Flair points to Melina and says she’s the type of Diva Flair ran around with, not Foley. 15 years ago - all night long.
Foley gets pissed. He says Flair looks at Melina and sees a conquest while Foley sees a friend. Foley has a friend in the porn business. He watched her work when he was younger, but since they became friends he sees the person who help kids. He says Flair was an absentee father twice.
Flair’s eyes get wide.
Foley says he was wrong to say that. He says on the flight from Manila they talked a lot. That Flair called each of his four kids, just because you never know. Foley says Flair has something with his kids that Foley will never have. He will never see the look in his kid’s eyes when they are told their father has been arrested.
Flair punches Foley from the ring.
Coach’s music hits and he comes out to the stage. Coach says Vince has made a match everyone would like to see. Flair against Foley at SS. The crowd boos.
Foley says Vince needs to look over Foley’s contract. Foley faces who he wants, when he wants. In all the years of the Foley stunt show he’s been injured a lot. He has a few good matches left in him, but he’ll be damned if he wastes one of them on the piece of crap that is Flair. Foley is more wound up that I’ve seen him in a long time.
- Commercial
On video Rebecca says all the other five have to go - she doesn’t single anyone out. (Wimp)
Matt Striker comes out in wrestling trunks and an argyll sweater vest. He says his opponent call himself the Dr. Of Thuganomics. He uses slang calling us his homeys. He says homey is not in the dictionary. He then uses some adjective to describe himself. Cena’s music hits and he comes out. The crowd seems really happy to see him this week.
Matt gets in the ring and then rolls out when Cena approaches. Matt gets booed for not getting in the ring. Cena goes to the other side of the ring so Matt can enter and Edge’s music hits. He comes out with Lita. A piece of fabric raises and there’s an announce table to the side of the stage that they go to.
Matt tries to attack, but Cena drops him. Cena glares at Edge as he and Lita bitch about Cena. Cena slams Matt to the mat and grins at Edge. He hits the five knuckle shuffle and then the FU. Edge says that won’t happen to him.
Cena applies the STFU and Matt taps.
- Winner: Cena
Edge yells down to Cena that the belt is his. He yells and screams at Edge while he and Lita leave the table and back out through the entrance. (Glad that was short - Guess they’re getting the hint that no one wants to see Edge!)
- Commercial
WWE Slam of The Week - The Highlanders against the Spirit Squad. Highlanders have their first loss - due to the cheating of the SQ.
SQ is in the ring. They give a cheer about Johnny kicking Rory’s butt in the next match. Highlanders run to the ring. Rory is 17 stone.
They tie up and Rory gets a headlock on Johnny. Rory gets out and headbutts Johnny in the back of the head when he telegraphs. SQ try to cheat and get caught by the ref. Johnny dances in the ring with a megaphone he was handed. The ref takes the megaphone and uses it to eject the rest of the SQ. Johnny is freaking out in the ring.
Johnny turns around into a grinning Rory. Rory throws punches and a back elbow. Johnny gets the upper hand and chokes Rory with his foot in a corner. Johnny slams Rory to the mat and then drops a knee. Robbie is cheering him on.
Johnny gets a headlock on Rory. Robbie gets the crowd going. Rory fights to his feet and out. He throws punches and ducks clotheslines and back elbows. He nails a double sledge and a back body drop. Rory nails a back breaker for two. Johnny kicks Rory in the face with a windmill kick. Robbie is telling Rory to get yo. Johnny mocks Robbie. Johnny goes back to Rory and gets rolled up in and inside cradle for three.
- Winner: Rory
On video JT says Rebecca is too much of a beauty queen, too worried about her looks to be in the ring.
- Commercial
The Diva hopefuls are out on the stage with The Miz - no pop at all. He introduces them all - not much pop for any of them either. JT seems to get the most pop. JT won diva Musical Chairs - yay!
Rebecca gets booted, oh well.
The Miz explains, much better this time, how to vote for the Divas. I don’t think he fucked it up at all!
Video of WM Fan Rally in Detroit.
DX is outback. Agents Thompson and Grady come into their locker room and say they were told DX is in possession of illegal substances. They say they have a warrant to search their stuff.
They find boxes of Cuban cigars in HHH’s bag. HBK tries to step in but they stop him. They take HHH downtown to talk to him about this.
On their way out Vince and Shane are standing in the doorway to their office. HHH says if they want to play, then they’ll play.
HHH walks out with the ‘cops’ and Vince and Shane take out their cigars after they are out of sight. They’re grinning the whole time.
- Commercial
DX’s music hits and HBK comes out sans HHH. Estrada comes out with Umaga.
HBK ducks Umaga and throws punches. HBK gets whipped into a corner, but comes out with chops. Umaga gets HBK up on his shoulder and runs for a corner, but HBK slides off and Umaga hits the corner. HBK hits 10 punches. HBK hits a sunset flip and quickly gets out of the way before Umaga drops to a sitting position on him. HBK covers for two. HBK rolls from the ring.
Vince and Shane are coming down the ramp. HBK stands at the bottom of the ramp looking back and forth between the McMahons and Umaga.
- Commercial
HBK throws punches at Umaga but gets dropped by a clothesline. Umaga hits a head drop on HBK and then knocks him over the top rope to the outside with a kick. Umaga jumps down from the apron slamming his forearm into HBK’s shoulders. Umaga goes back in the ring and pulls HBK in over the top. Umaga pulls HBK to his feet by his hair and punches him to the mat. HBK tries to struggle to his feet, but can’t and gets kicked in the head. Umaga nails a forearm across HBK’s upper chest and then tries to twist his head off.
HBK starts fighting back with punches, but gets head butted to the mat. Umaga scoop slams HBK and then headbutts him again. HBK is sitting in a corner but moves before he gets butt slammed. HBK gets to his feet and throws a bunch of chops. HBK nails a running forearm. The second one finally drops Umaga. Estrada grabs HBK to throw him off guard. HBK holds Estrada on the apron for a moment and then moves out of the way when Umaga rushes him. Umaga slams into Estrada and knocks him to the floor.
Umaga nails a Samoan drop on HBK. Umaga goes crazy because he doesn’t have Estrada thereto tell him what to do. He outside and starts ripping the place apart. He throws the stairs around, rips the top off the announce table and throws a bunch of chairs. Umaga then returns to the ring.
Vince gets on the apron and did Estrada’s cigar break to tell Umaga what to do. The ref yells at Vince and HBK nails a low blow. HBK climbs and nails a flying elbow. HBK starts to tune up the band but Vince grabs HBK’s ankle to stop him. HBK punches Vince dropping him from the apron. Shane rushes in to attack HBK, but HBK drops him.
Umaga gets up and nails the Samoan spike and covers HBK for three.
- Winner: Umaga
Vince and Shane rush the ring and attack HBK. They beat him down and then Vince takes his belt off. Vince whips HBK with his belt and then chokes him with it.
Shane leaves and returns with a chair. Vince holds HBK up in a corner and holds the chair in front of HBK’s face. Shane tunes up the band and hits sweet chin music on the chair in front of HBK’s face.
HBK falls to the mat. Vince gets down on his knees next to HBK and tells HBK to tell HHH that HHH will be facing Umaga next week.
Biggest pop
DX
Flair
Hogan chants
Biggest heat
Vince & Shane
Orton
Foley
Biggest flop
Diva Search
The Miz
