Lillian announces the WWE Champion John Cena. He comes out to mixed pop, though it seems like most of it negative. It's to be expected in Canada, especially Montreal (I'm not saying anything negative about the country or the city, it's just that Canada is Edge country and Montreal has a lot to bitch about since the 'Screw Job').
Cena grabs a mic and soaks up the reaction, grinning through it all. The more he grins the louder both the positive and negative get - mostly negative. He says it's chaos, absolute chaos! Normally he'd say tonight was going to be huge, but even with everything going on he's not himself tonight. More HUGE heat.
He says he needs to bottom line it for us. Last night he was hit in the head. A LOT. He doesn't know what time it is. He can't remember his name. "Wait, it's starting to become clear." Low and behold. He holds up his belt. "The Champ is here." Lots of negative reaction.
Calm down Jedis, I know there's a little unrest in the force. But this is big. He 'bottom lines' it for us again. So many different chants (mostly in French) you can't understand any of them.
Cena says after the past 9 months we've seen him take like 9000 spears, 3000 sneak attacks, 2000 hits to the head. 1000 jokes about Lita giving head. Someone getting thrown in a river, his father getting slapped. And now the story of Edge and Cena is over.
Edge's music hits and he comes out to HUGE pop. Lita's on his arm. He asks if Cena actually believes all the crap he's saying. It's not over. Edge has a rematch claus in his contract and he will be back to collect his third WWE Title.
Cena says whatever. But if Edge wants to talk to him like that right now, Edge has two options.
1- Since he's the Rated 'R' Superstar he can have a one man party and go screw himself.
2- He can anty up and they can have a rematch of last night.
Edge says that Cena must think he has a huge desire to win his title back in Canada. Huge pop from the crowd. Edge says this isn't Canada. It's the cheesy, wine sniffing, inbred cousin of Canada. Huge heat.
Last night he took more damage than most people take in their lives. He took an FU through two tables. He could have done what these people would have done, waved the white flag and said I surrender. But he didn't. Huge heat fromthe crowd.
Cena says he's impressed. It only took 30 seconds for all these people to go from loving Edge to hating him. Huge cheer for Cena. Cena says if he's not down there to throw down, what the hell does he want?
Edge says he lost his first TLC Match, he lost in his hometown, he lost in front of his mom. Every time Cena tried to say something Edge yelled at him to shut up. He looked actually pissed getting right up in Cena's face slapping Cena's mic away. He, most importantly lost his title. Of course he came out here with a backup plan.
Cena hits Edge and then turns around and nails Murdoch as he rolls in the ring. Cade gets the upper hand and the three of them attack Cena. Edge says his backup plan is the team who beat down DX last week.
DX comes out and the three heels stop attacking Cena. Edge rolls from the ring. DX attacks Cade and Murdoch until they leave the ring. Cade and Murdoch flee. The three in the ring scream for more.
Coach comes out to the stage and introduces himself - as if we don't know who he is at this point. As his executive Assitant he will do as Vince would do. So they will have a 6 mad tag match. It will be Edge, Cade & Murdoch against Cena & DX.
- Commercial
WWE Slam Of The Night - Black and white stills of the Hell In A Cell Match from Unforgiven.
Coach is outback looking directly into the camera. He says good evening to Vince and Shane. He hopes they are happy with how Coach runs the show tonight. He's also set aside the room he's in so the Superstars can get on camera and send their well wishes to Vince and Shane. Coach hears a voice and says the first person is there to say a few words.
Shelton Benjamin enters, sits on the stool and starts talking. He says if he's been their partner last night instead of Big Show Vince wouldn't have gotten his head shoved up Show's... He wants to know why he wasn't chosen as their partner. He's been beating himself up about it. He punches his own hand, then stops and looks. He suddenly knows why. It's because he's black.
Coach steps in and cuts him off.
Shelton wonders why he can't talk about affirmative action.
Coach appologizes the Vince.
Umaga's music hits and he comes down to the ring with Estrada. Kane comes out to face him.
Kane calls for his fire from the corners and they both shoulder block each other a couple times to no avail. Kane throws punches but Umaga nails a belly to belly. Estrada has a chair outside the ring. He hands it to Umaga but the ref gets it. The ref gets slammed between Kane and Umaga when Kane goes after Umaga in a corner. Kane nails a DDT on Umaga.
Umaga grabs the chair and nails Kane in the head with it and covers. A different ref shows up and starts counting, but Kane kicks out.
- Commercial
Kane is throwing punches at Umaga. Umaga whips Kane but Kane gets his foot in Umaga's face. Umaga hits a Samoan drop on Kane. Estrada tells Umaga to get Kane who's sitting in a corner. kane gets to his knees and gets an elbow in Umaga's chest.
Kane throws punches and then a shoulder block takes Umaga down. Kane gets tossed over the top but holds onto the top rope. He hangs Umaga's neck on the top rope. Back in the ring Kane has the chair but Umaga gets it and hits Kane lightly with it. Kane gets whipped. Kane moves and Umaga nails the ring post shoulder first. Kane climbs and hits a flying clothesline.
Kane goes for a chokeslam but Estrada enters the ring to distract him. Estrada quickly leaves the ring when Kane lets go of Umaga. Kane grabs the chair and nails Umaga over the head with it. The ref calls for the bell. Kane hits him again with the chair. The third chair shot to the head finally drops Umaga to the mat.
- Winner: Umaga via DQ
Estrada back peddles up the ramp and Kane gets out to follow him up. Estrada falls to his bum on the stage. Kane goes for him, they go through the entrance and the camera cuts out.
- Commercial
Video recap of Kane hitting Umaga with the chair. Kane is now throwing Estrada into a garage door. He says that Estrada thinks Umaga is the only monster int the WWE? He keeps beating on Estrada, he has a steel spike in his hand.
Suddenly Umaga slams into Kane from behind. Umaga slams Kane around a little and then leaves with Estrada. Kane, flat on his back sits up. He sits on the cement floor grinning, then laughing.
Maria is there to say something to Vince. She says she hopes Vince is okay. She's been watching Vince's DVD. She hasn't gotten to the good stuff yet like when Vince was the quarterback for the Bears and he won that Superbowl thingy.
But she does have one question. When DX shoved his face up Big Show's... Was it like going to the Grand Canyon? Or was it like Batman going into the Bat Cave? Or was it just really really stinky?
An airhorn blows and the Spirit Squad pushes Maria out of the way. They say they hope they are okay. But they were able to retain their Tag Titles last night. Also Johnny challenged Flair to a one on one match - next. They do a little cheer for Vince.
- Commercial
Video from Unforgiven. Trish's final match and then Hell In A Cell. Finally the TLC Title match. It was short clips stopping at the right time and stills.
Flair's music hits and he comes out in a black robe with blue feathers. Spirit Squad comes out, but Johnny wants to go to the ring by himself. He has the rest of the Squad stay on the stage.
Johnny gives them a thumbs up from the ring. Johnny takes Flair down and throws punches. Johnny shows off to the SQ and gets many chops from Flair. Johnny rolls from the ring but Flair follows and throws more chops. Johnny hits a very poor back body drop on the outside. (He barely got Flair over and Flair seemed to hit funny - It was just BAD.)
Back in the ring Johnny throws punches. The ref pulls him off and Flair throws chops. Johnny does a Flair chop block and then locks on the figure four. Flair gets to the ropes. Flair on the apron, Johnny suplexes him back into the ring.
Johnny climbs but his elbow drop misses when Flair moves. Flair hits a chop block and then goes for a figure four but Johnny counters with a roll up. Flair counters that with a small package for three.
The rest of the SQ rushes the ring and Flair quickly rolls out. They all yell and scream out at Flair.
- Winner: Flair
Lita is in the back room to talk to Vince. Lita says she's sorry about what happened to Vince last night. She says Edge is sorry too. Lita says she wants to talk about the Woman's Title. Now that Trish is retired...
Mickie cuts Lita off. Mickie doesn't think Lita should try to push Vince to give her back the title. Trish is so wonderful and great...
Lita cuts in saying it's all about Trish, Trish, Trish!
Mickie says Trish did win her title in her hometown. What a way to go out, on top. Rather than on top of a Champion, like Lita. Oh, wait, Edge isn't the Champion any more.
Lita bitch slaps Mickie.
- Commercial
Video from earlier when Edge had Cade and Murdoch attack Cena.
Orton's music plays and he comes out as arrogant as ever. Orty grabs a mic and says despite the fact that there was enough trama to his beautiful face to require stitches, he still won his match last night. His performance was one of the best in the wrestling business. He's the future of the wrestling industry.
Nitro's music interupts him and he comes out with Melina. Melina does her usual ring entrance.
Nitro says Randy isn't the future of the industry, Nitro is. For all of those who think watching him talk is like watching paint dry, look at this - he holds up his title. He says so much for Jeff Hardy's comeback, he sure couldn't win last night.
Nitro asks Randy where his title is. Oh yea, he doesn't have one. Nitro says Orton's been floating on his name for the past couple years.
Masters comes out and says he should be the IC Champion. He's 23 years old and the future of this business. No one breaks his masterlock.
Nitro, Melina and Orton all start laughing.
Orton talks about Masters being beaten the past couple weeks byt Crazy.
Nitro says this is an adult conversation, for winners.
Carlito's music hits. Carlito comes out and says that Orton did win last night. His face doesn't look that good, but he did win last night. But one thing Orton doesn't know... That Carlito's a bad looser.
Carlito attacks Orton, then Masters, then Nitro. The three of them start beating Carlito down. Supercrazy runs out to help. Then Jeff Hardy then comes out and helps.
Coach comes on and tells them to break it up. There will be a match between them tonight, but not a six man tag challenge. It will be a Six-Pack Challange. Every man for himself and the winner will be the IC Champion. They all seem to like this idea.
- Commercial
Crazy springboard slams Nitro (?). It's bodies flying all over. King says that Crazy has been keeping control of the match during the commercials. Orty is throwing punches at Jeff in the corner. Nitro tries to pin Crazy. Masters tries to pin Carlito. Jeff nails a jaw breaker on Nitro. Nitro nails a backbreaker and then a Russian leg sweep, but Crazy breaks up the count. Crazy drops an elbow on Nitro. Masters gets a boot in Carlito's face.
Carlito springboard flips into Masters, lands on his feet (beautiful move) and then covers for two. "Hardy" chant starts and he gets a two count on Nitro. Crazy covers Orty for two. Jeff covers Orty for two. Nitro covers Crazy for two. Jeff tries to suplex Orty but Orty reverses it and hangs Jeff up on the top rope. They each take turns throwing each other off Nitro trying to pin him. It happens about four times before he can get up.
Carlito nails a crossbody over the top ont Orty. jeff runs the security rail and clotheslines Carlito. Nitro goes over the top and hits not one of them when he thinks he will get four of them. They all start stomping Nitro. Crazy comes over the top and takes them all out.
- Commercial
Carlito nips up and covers Orty. Crazy breaks it up. They all look very tired! Nitro attacks Carlito from behind then gets power slammed by Orty. Crazy breaks up the count with a low drop kick to Orty. Carlito is throwing punches at Jeff in the corner. He then jumps backward and cross bodies Orty and covers for two. Carlito flapjacks Nitro and covers for two.
Orty tries to throw Carlito over the top. Carlito holds on and stays on the apron. Orty drop kicks him to the floor. Orty and Nitro body drop Carlito. Orty nails an RKO on Nitro. Carlito hits a back cracker on Orty. Crazy flies in and breaks up the count. Crazy gets tossed from the ring.
Jeff nails a swanton on Orty. Nitro quickly tosses Jeff from the ring and covers Orty. Carlito can't get to him to break it up before the three count. Nitro quickly flees leaving Carlito in the ring screaming.
- Winner: Nitro
Smackdown Rebound - Fit against Lashly. Fit looses due to the sheleighly. Booker, Fit and Regal beat on Lashly after the match. Batista shows up, pulls a pipe from the trunk of his car and heads for the ring. Batista attacks.
- Commercial
Cryme Tyme training video. They are taking time out getting ready for RAW. They suddenly get asked for directions to the country club - from a minivan. They pull him from the car and beat the crap out of the white guy. They take the minivan. Yay.
Coach says he hopes they have been able to pick up their spirits so far. He has others coming in soon such as Edge, Cade and Murdoch. There are voices entering and Coach gets out of the way.
DX walks in. HBK talks about Stockholm Syndrom and how he feels a part of him is missing since Vince and Shane are not there. HHH says he's never been to Stockholm, but he misses them too. They put together a video to lift Vince's spirits.
The video is bits and pieces of all the wonderful and friendly things DX has done to Vince since the 4th of July. It ends with pictures of Vince with his head up Show's ass.
The video ends and DX is playing until HBK notices the camera and they start crying.
HHH has a poem just to let Vince know exactly how they feel about him -
"Vince we know you're angry
your concern is valid
after all last night
you tossed Big Show's salad.
We know you almost kicked the bucket
And if you're not down with that
we have two words for you..."
Candice Michelle comes out in a long black coat with white feathers around the neck. She gets on the apron and unzips her coat to reveal black pants and a low slung black shirt with her red bra showing out the top.
- Commercial
Candy is stretching with her foot up on the top rope. Lita's music hits and she comes stomping out looking pissed. She's wearing a Rated 'R' t-shirt.
Lita rushes Candy and pushes her in the chest. Lita man handles Candy and slams her face into the top turnbuckle. Lita throws Candy down and stomps her back. She hangs Candy over the bottom rope and puts her knee in Candy's back.
Candy grabs the ropes and Lita telegraphs. Lita gets kicked in the chest. Candy then tosses Lita from the ring. Lita grabs Candy's ankles and pulls her from the ring. Candy gets slammed back first into the side of the ring a couple times. Back in the ring Lita covers for two. Lita knees Candy in the gut and the suplexes her for two. she gets a headlock on Candy. Candy gets her feet and elbows out of the hold. Candy gets taken down by her hair.
Lita pulls Candy up by her hair and nails a side Russian leg sweep for two. Candy gets tossed face first into the top turnbuckle. Candy gets whipped but gets her elbow up in Lita's face. Candy covers for two. Lita slams Candy face first to the mat by her hair. Lita stomps Candy in the center of the ring. Candy gets scoop slammed.
Lita climbs slowly to the top. Mickie comes out yelling at Lita as she's mid climb. Candy rushes to her feet and gets under Lita. Cadny powerbombs Lita and covers for three. Candy quickly leaves the ring. Mickie blows Lita kisses as she backs her way up the ramp. Lita stomps around the inside for the ring screaming and shouting at Mickie.
- Winner: Candice Michelle
Outback Edge is freaking out looking at the monitor. He just wants to forget this day ever happened. Cade and Murdoch approach him. They say they are the freshest two in this match and they are going to take the three of them apart. Edge says he's sick of having Cena in his life.
- Commercial
Edge's music plays and he comes out with a very pissed off looking Lita. (She looks more and more unhappy as the weeks go along.) Cade and Murdoch come out to join them. Video from last week when Cade and Murdoch attacked DX outback, Shane and Show helped too. Cena comes out next to less heat than earlier, actually much pop. He stops half way down the ramp. DX's music quickly plays and they come out to pop (though it would prbably be bigger if it wasn't HBK in Montreal.)
The six of them rush the ring and attack quickly. The heels are quick to leave the ring. Cena is screaming for Edge to get in the ring. Cade enters and attacks Cena. Cade chops Cena hard in a corner (Cena looks like he's hurting). He then punches Cena hard into another corner. Cena throws punches of his own to Cade's gut. Cena nails a shoulderblock and then slams Cade to the mat. Cena calls for Edge. Cena tries to FU Cade but it's reversed and Cena is slammed.
HBK tags in and attacks Cade. HBK telegraphs and gets a hit to the back.
Murdoch blind tags and get his boot in HBK's face. Edge tags in and throws a punch in HBK's face while Murdoch holds him. Edge hits a standing drop kick.
Murdoch tags in and HBK tries to fight back. He doesn't get far. The ref yells at Murdoch for pulling HBK's hair. 'HBK' chants start! (I never thought I'd hear a possitive HBK chant in Montreal!)
Cade tags in and nails a neck breaker for two. Edge tags in and elbows HBK in the upper back. Snap mare to HBK and a head lock. HBK fights to his feet. HBK throws punches and gets out of the hold but Edge knocks HBK back down.
Murdoch tags in and drops and elbow for two. A front face lock from Murdoch keeps HBK from tagging out. HBK nails a back body drop. Cade tags in but HBK manages an inseguri, both are down.
Edge tags in, as does the Game. The other two heels also attack Trip, but he takes them all down. HHH nails a face buster on Edge, then a clothesline. Cade clotheslines HHH, then Cena takes Cade down. HHH nails a spinebuster on Edge. The heels had brought a chair in the ring and HBK uses it on Murdoch. The ref calls for the bell.
Then, the only heel left in the ring is Edge, alone, with DX and Cena. All three of them hit their finishing moves on Edge. HHH tells the ref to roll Edge out. DX and Cena celebrate in the ring. The crowd is charged up.
- Winner: Edge, Cade & Murdoch
The three of them stand in the middle of the ring. Cena loops his strap over his shoulder and the three of them do the DX chop (Cena in the middle) to the in-ring pyro.
Biggest pop
DX
Cena
Edge
Flair
Biggest heat
Cena
Edge & Lita
Orton
Spirit Squad
