RAW this week starts with music and huge pyro.
JR and King talk about some of the matches set up for tonight.
DX’s music hits, their video is different this week, and they come out to huge pop. They crotch chop to in-ring pyro. HBK hands HHH a mic and he gets a ‘DX’ chant. HHH says they’ve been all through the UK and had loud crowds, but nothing like Manchester. He gets them as quiet as possible - has to work at it, then gets them pumped. The crowd is hot. Trip is drawing them out tonight, really working the crowd. He starts his schpeal and says he doesn’t have anything new and funny to say this week. HBK hugs him and Trip says it’s a lot of pressure coming up with something new every week.
HBK takes the mic and finishes.
Trip takes the mic back and says they made a list. Vince - Check. Shane - Check. Bisch - Check. Eric Bischoff, or as he’s now known on the street - Tea Bag. Bisch is like all the other authority figures who thought he could tell them what to do. But he had his head up his ass. Well, not up his ass... Trip call for video from last week.
HBK calls for it again in slow motion. JR says it’s controversial, and it creates cash.
HHH asks HBK if he’s okay.
HBK says he thinks he threw up in his mouth a little bit.
HHH says that just leaves Siegfried and Roy, he corrects himself and says Edge and Orton.
Coach comes out and tells them to forget about Edge and Orton tonight. ‘Asshole’ chant. He says Edge and Orton are getting a rematch after DX screwed it up last week.
HBK stops Coach and the ‘Asshole’ chant starts. HBK asks if Coach is going to ban DX this week.
HHH says it worked so well last week.
Coach says they can... ‘Asshole’ chant. They can stay as long as they want because Coach has put a 50,000 Pound bounty on their heads. That is about $10,000.
HHH asks if he said he put $10,000 on their heads? He called Coach a cheap bastard. He tells him to open a lemonade stand because they are worth much more than $5,000 each. Coach calls for a ref and DX’s four opponents.
Vis, Cade, Murdoch and Haas come stomping down to the ring.
- Commercial
HBK is in the ring with Haas. An arm drag to Haas. Cade tags in and drives his shoulder into HBK’s gut in a corner until HBK reverses it with chops. Cade caught HBK in the face with a boot and holds HBK while Murdoch kicks him in the face. Murdoch comes off the second rope into HBK’s boot. Vis tags in and side slams HBK. Vis dances and tags in haas. Haas covers for two. Haas throws punches at HBK’s head and then scoop slams him. Haas kick him in the spine and covers for two. Cade tag in and boots HBK in the gut while haas holds him. Cade hits a back breaker for two. A chinlock on HBK but he gets to his feet. They exchange punches and chops. An enzigure to cade and HBK tries to get to HHH.
Haas and HHH tag in. HHH takes down all of the heels. Face buster to cade and then he’s clothelined over the top. Murdoch accidentally splashes Cade outside. Spine buster on Haas from HHH and HBK rushes to hit sweet chin music on Vis who is on the apron. Vis falls taking down Cade and Murdoch who are still out on the floor but had just managed to get to their feet. HHH hits a spine buster and pedigree on Haas for three.
- Winners: DX
- Commercial
Outback SQ is outback. Kenny tells three of them to stay outback and collect the bounty.
DX is walking along and one member runs by and crashes through a metal wall - actually looks like the cargo hold on a bus. HBK nails him in the head with a trash can lid. HHH nails another in the face with the lid. The third falls from the sky behind them. The whole time they are talking casually about how people will do a lot of crazy things for $10,000 and they don’t want to have to watch their backs all night.
The Highlanders come down to the ring. Then Johnny and Kenny come down to the ring to face them.
Johnny and Robbie lock up. Robbie ducks a clothesline and then head butts Johnny. Rory tags in and hits a second rope crossbody for two. A rake to Rory’s eyes and Kenny tags in. Kenny gains control but quickly tags Johnny back in. They double team Rory. Kenny tags back in and covers for two. A chinlock on Rory as Kenny talks smack. Rory gets to his feet and whipped but picks Kenny up and slams him snake eyes in the corner. Robbie tags in and takes out both Kenny and Johnny Rory rushes in and clotheslines Johnny. A double clotheslines Johnny. The Highlanders try to double team one of them but the other catches him. Kenny then pushes Johnny into Rory and they both fall from the ring. Kenny rolls Robbie up for three.
- Winners: Spirit Squad.
Kenny rolls from the ring and Johnny starts yelling at him about being pushed. Kenny yells that HE won. He then tries to make Johnny hold his hand in the air. Johnny is pissed.
King and JR talk about last week with Bisch and Masters. King says he’s accepting the Masterlock Challenge.
- Commercial
Video from Detroit and people standing in line to get WM23 tickets.
JR says not all the tickets have been sold for WM23 and there will be other chances to get them.
Chris Masters’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. JR thanks King for taking his place in the ring last week. Masters doesn’t seem to get any pop or heat. King gets some pop.
Masters set out the chair and King sits down. JR calls King wiley and says he can get out of the masterlock. Masters is slow putting the hold on. He almost applies it and backs off. King gets up and chops Masters. Masters tells him to sit. ‘Jerry’ chant. He locks on the hold and whips King around like a ragdoll. King starts fighting it and looks like he might get it, but no. Then King tries again and throws elbows into Master’s head. King tries a third time to get out. Then King falls to one knee and the ref calls for the bell. King lays on the mat holding his neck as Masters talks smack and celebrates.
Outback HBK is eating a banana. A knock on the door. HBK opens the door and it’s Eugene.
Eugene says he’s there for the bounty. HBK slams the door in his face.
He knocks again. HHH opens the door and asks if he’s there for the bounty. Eugene nods so HHH hands him a roll of potty paper.
Eugene knocks again and HBK opens the door. Eugene comes rushing in, past DX and into the table full of food. He ends up flipping the table and saying, “Ouch”.
The whole time HBK is eating and saying this makes him hungry and he will be 400lbs by the time it’s over. He moved on from the banana to popcorn.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Lita and Mickie in the ring last week. Mickie had to have one hand tied behind her back. Of course Lita wins.
Grisham is outback with Lita. ‘Boos’ from the crowd. He asks about facing Mickie next week.
Lita says she will beat her in the US, in the UK, in a back alley. She’s the best Women’s Champ of all time.
DX is in the potty. HBK is stills stuffing his face and talking about food. Finally HHH tells HBK he has to pee. HBK realizes it and gives him peace. HHH backs into a stall and you can see Chris Masters standing behind HHH ready to attack. The door closes and all sorts of noises are heard. The door opens and HHH comes out. HBK looks in and comments about HHH crappy out a masterpiece. Chris Masters is on the floor with his head against the side of the potty, almost using the seat as a pillow.
Umaga and Estrada are heading for the ring.
- Commercial
Umaga and Estrada come down to the ring. Video from last week when Umaga attacked Maria in the ring. Cena rushed out to save her. Grisham is at the announce table with JR now. Cena’s music hits and he comes out. JR says everyone in the arena is standing, btu I can’t tell about pop or heat for him from home.
Cena punches umaga. Cena moves out of umaga’s way and throws punches. Cena gets whipped and moves out of umaga’s way. Umaga gets planted face first and it doesn’t phase him. Cena loses control and gets hit with a Samoan drop. Umaga punches Cena in the head. Umaga goes for the spike but Cena grabs his hand and stops him. Cena tries to fight Umaga’s hand away. They struggle and Cena gets away. Cena fights back and takes Umaga down face first. Cena shoulder blocks Umaga a couple times and he doesn’t go down. Umaga gets tied up in the ropes and Cena takes advantage.
Big Show rushes the ring and both big guys attack Cena. Samoan spike to Cena and then Cena is stomped in a corner. Cena gets whipped and then splashed by umaga and then Show. A splash by umaga in the center of the ring then Show choke slams Cena. Show holds Cena and umaga nails the Samoan spike. Show umaga and Estrada stand over Cena.
- Winner: Cena via DQ
Cena is writhing on the mat coughing.
- Commercial
Video of what just happened to Cena.
Coach is outback on the phone saying someone will take the bounty. DX walks in. They tell Coach he wins. HBK says he can’t take it, he’ll be 500lbs. HHH says it’s crazy and tells Coach to watch this. They show a fast speed of all the people who attacked them.
Coach asks if he really wins. They say he did. He says they can’t come back if they leave. HHH holds Coach in place and ask if they get the money since they took themselves out. Coach says no, as HBK is stealing the money behind him.
Jeff Hardy comes down to the ring.
WWE Slam Of The Week - Jeff losing his title last week due to Bisch’s rules.
Nitro and Melina come out. Melina is in a tiny black mini and a red halter she’s almost falling out of.
Jeff starts a ‘Hardy’ chant that dies quickly. They lock up and get into the ropes. Nitro tries to kick Jeff in the gut but Jeff catches the foot and then hits a shoulder block. Then Jeff gets taken down by his hair. Nitro has an arm bar on Jeff. Jeff uses the rope to flip back and out of it. Jeff throws 10 punches in the corner as the crowd counts. Nitro gets slammed down. Jeff climbs but Nitro rolls out. Jeff hits a low dropkick on Nitro outside. Then Jeff goes over the top to land on Nitro.
- Commercial
Inverted atomic drop on Nitro. Jeff covers for two. Jeff gets slammed face first into the second turn buckle pad. Nitro slingshot kicks Jeff in the face for two. Nitro chokes Jeff on the mat. Chin lock on Jeff in the center of the ring. ‘Hardy’ chant and Melina has her fingers in her ears. Nitro tries for an artistic leg drop but Jeff moves. Nitro get slammed but comes back to cover Jeff twice for two. Chin lock on Jeff. ‘Hardy’ chant. Jeff gets to his feet but slams into the corner trying to get Nitro. Nitro goes for Jeff but gets hung up on the rope in the most painful position. Both down until seven. Jeff hits a couple kicks and the a mule kick for two. Back body drop on Nitro for two.
Jeff climbs the corner but misses whisper in the wind when Nitro moves. Nitro slams Jeff down face first for two. Nitro blames the ref for a slow count. Nitro tries to fly but Jeff reverses it and power bombs Nitro for two. Jeff hits his swanton bomb. Melina distracts the ref through the cover. Melina grabs Jeff’s foot and Nitro hits a neck breaker. Nitro climbs and hits an amazing corkscrew moonsault. Jeff reverses the cover and gets three.
- Winner: Jeff Hardy, new IC Champ
Nitro hits a hard DDT on Jeff. Nitro gets a ladder and throws it in Jeff’s face. Nitro set the ladder up in the corner and climbs. Nitro rides the ladder down to slam into Jeff who’s on the mat. Nitro finally leaves the ring yelling that he’s the champ. Melina is screaming the whole time.
DX is outside asking each other what they are going to do now that they threw themselves out. HBK asks what they should do with Coach’s money. HBK says the show was sold out when they found out Dx would be there. HHH sees some scalpers. They go over and it’s Cryme Tyme. HHH says he can’t understand them. HBK hands HHH the briefcase full of money. HBK says he speaks jive (Airplane reference, anyone?)
HBK handles it. JTG pulls out the tickets with a loud yell and HHH jumps like he’s been shot. HHH opens the briefcase and Cryme Tyme starts drooling. HBK pays for the tickets, talks some more and walks off. HHH looks at them and says ‘fashizzle’ looking all proud of himself. They just look at him like he’s crazy.
- Commercial
Carlito is outback reading the Star. Torrie and two Star girls show up. She introduces them. She asks if he saw them in there.
He says he was reading sports. He says something about a few teams and get booed.
Torrie asks if he wants to hit a club with them tonight.
He says his hotel is on the other side of the city and has an early flight so he can’t.
Torrie says she has an early flight and her hotel I around the corner. She says he can crash with her tonight.
Carlito says he can sleep in the corner on a roll away or something. He also says he doesn’t snore.
Torrie says they will meet up later and the girls leave. Carlito quickly looks through the Star to find the pictures of the girls with Torrie.
Video of Show and Umaga attacking Cena
DX is back in the building at the shirt stand. The fans are chanting ‘DX’ all around them. HHH has a huge sausage in his hand (like the early DX skit with HHH, HBK and Chyna with a grill in the ring). HHH asks the girl at the shirt stand how much for all the shirts. He hands over cash, possibly the whole briefcase, and they leave with the shirts (not all of them). They start handing out shirt to everybody in sight.
- Commercial
Lita’s music is playing. She comes out with her title strap. She holds it high as she walks to the ring. DX is in the front row. HBK is chomping on popcorn. HHH is chewing on the end of the huge sausage. HBK and HHH are waving and trying to get Lita’s attention. HBK is bouncing up and down waving his arms at her. Mickie comes bouncing out and heads straight for Lita upon entering the ring. Lita grabs a mic and tells Mickie that it goes like last week - good news and bad news. Mickie is smiling and laughing. The good news is she won’t have one arm tied behind her back, but both legs will be shackled together. Coach brings the shackles down to the ring. Mickie looks pissed. Handcuffs around her ankles and are shackled together. Lita asks what Mickie has to say for herself. Mickie gets the mic. She says after the match she will give the shackles to Lita because she’s the one who needs to learn to keep her legs together.
Lita tackles Mickie and slams her face first to the mat. Mickie gets kicked in the gut. Lita leans Mickie across the bottom rope and drives her knee into Mickie’s back. Lita stomps Mickie in a corner. Lita yells at DX in the crowd.
Mickie throws punches in Lita’s face but Lita trips her. HHH starts a chant. He yells, ‘Lita is a... And the people around them yells, ‘hooo’ chant. Lita covers for two.
Lita leaves the ring and confronts Dx. She bitch slaps HHH. The sausage gets tossed over Lita and into the ring to Mickie. HHH squirts a bottle of mustard in Lita’s face. Lita reenters the ring not being able to see, and Mickie slams the sausage into Lita’s face. Mickie tosses the sausage away and make sure it rolls from the ring before the ref sees it. Mickie then nails a swinging DDT and covers for three.
- Winner: Mickie James
Edge’s music hits and he comes out with Orton. Edge goes to Lita.
Coach goes over and has security toss DX from the arena for getting involved in the match.
- Commercial
Edge and Orton are in the ring waiting. Piper’s music hits and he comes out to huge pop. He’s got a huge grin on his face, loving it. He doesn’t enter the ring, but they attack him outside the ring. They attack with a chair to the knees and head. Flair runs down to help. Edge hits a one man con-chair-to on Piper. Flair lays over Piper and gets stomped for it.
In the ring Flair chops Edge and beats on Edge while people are checking on Piper. Flair gets hit with a back body drop. Chin lock on Flair so he can watch Piper gets virtually dragged up the ramp. Orton tags in and throws punches at Flair’s head in a corner. Flair is down. Flair chops back but doesn’t get far. Flair gets clotheslined over the top. Orton follows him out. Orton suplexes him on the outside. Orton breaks the count and goes back out and after Flair. Orton chops Flair against the barrier. Orton rolls Flair into the ring. Edge tags in and mocks Flair’s strut.
Edge puts a chin lock on Flair with a knee in his back. Flair fights to his feet and chops out. Flair gets slammed back to the mat. Orton tags in. Orton stomps flairs head but Flair comes back with a low blow. Orton crawls back and tags in edge. Flair hits a bunch of chops. Back body drop on Edge but Orton attacks Flair from behind. Flair drops Orton and goes for the figure four. Edge spears Flair and covers for three.
- Winners: Edge & Orton, new Tag Team Champs
DX’s music hits and they run down to the ring. Orton and Edge run from the ring. Security rushes the ring but have no chance against DX. They all get pummeled until it’s only DX in the ring.
Biggest pop
DX
Jeff Hardy
Piper
Flair
Biggest heat
Edge
Orton
Lita
