Six months ago I wrote what I said was my last column after seven years of writing about wrestling. At the time I thought it was, but this is wrestling. Nobody really retires. We always find a way to come crawling back and that's what I've done as well.
Before I really begin, let me first state that over the past six months I've watched less wrestling than I have in my entire life. Some weeks I missed full episodes of Raw, Smackdown, TNA and ECW (which I've barely seen due to its crappy Canadian timeslot - Fridays at midnight) and for the first time in my life I missed full PPV's, even forgetting when they were on at various points. I know I'm not the only one either. With other things like poker and Ultimate Fighting (both things I enjoy, mind you) blowing up wrestling has taken a step back a bit. Of course maybe that's wrong to say considering they sold 50,000 tickets for WrestleMania in a matter of hours just last week. With all of this said, I've still followed the news, read all the recaps and tried to keep in touch with the business as best as I can. Even though I don't watch as much current stuff I still watch the old stuff and I know I still want to write about all of it too.
I can't tell you when I'm going to write or what I'll write about, but I plan on committing to this. If you've read my work in the past, I thank you and hope you continue in the future. If you haven't read my work then I hope you read all of this and if you like it please check out my future works. Maybe at the end of this thing I'll write more about me and the future of my columns more specifically, but frankly I know you don't give a damn about it (and why should you?), so let me just dive straight into the column.
What I'm going to do here is throw out one topic, talk about it a bit and then from there I'll do the more random things while breaking them down into categories. Keep in mind that what I'll write about are all three WWE brands as well as TNA. I don't follow ROH or Japan or anything else, so please be aware of that before you email me to ask about it.
Without further Apu, here are Random Thoughts on Stuff. Man, what a great title.
One Year Later: We Still Miss You, Eddie
I'd be remiss in not talking about the passing of Eddie Guerrero, which occurred a year ago this week. I remember the day very well. It was a Sunday, I was doing my usual habit of betting on NFL games online when I saw a thread in the Oratory forums saying Eddie had passed away. I thought no way, this is some cruel joke. So I checked out some other places, turned out it was legit and I was absolutely heartbroken. I wrote a column, I posted it and asked for thoughts from readers. Over the course of that week I received about 500 emails, I posted pretty much all of them and when the anniversary of his death came on Sunday I read most of them again.
I'm not going to go into a whole thing about the way WWE has used Eddie's name for storylines throughout the year because I think it's hard for any of us to say what his close friends or family should be doing considering they knew him and we did not. However, part of the reason why I've lost interest in the product is because they've used his name much more than I ever thought they would. It's not just that, though.
I really miss Eddie. His cocky grin. The way he moved in the ring. The enthusiasm he had every time he stepped through the curtain. The way he exuded confidence in everything he did. Plus his matches. They were always good. You could tell how much pride he took in them. I recently watched the No Way Out 2004 match against Brock Lesnar. I skipped to the end and just as when I saw it live I smiled when he was handed the belt. What a moment. I'm glad he got to live that. I'm glad we got to see that. And I'm glad, most of all, that his family was there to see it too.
RIP Eddie.
RAW
- I’m a big fan of the Orton/Edge duo although I think the name Rated RKO is pretty stupid. They have good chemistry with one another, both of them are strong on the microphone and in the ring and I like the reasons for their allegiance too. It makes sense. I’d love to see Kenny Doane join the group and make it like the old Triple Threat in ECW, but obviously they’d be unable to use that name. Regarding Edge and Orton, I hope they don’t rush on splitting them up in order to turn one face. Both guys are GREAT heels. Neither guy is above average as a face. Keep them as they are. They’re doing just fine. Too many times WWE will change character’s roles out of need rather than keeping them in the role that they are best suited for.
- Not really sure what I think about DX. I think they’re hit and miss a lot of the time. Triple H is hilarious most of the time while HBK (my favorite wrestler ever along with Austin) is doing fine. It’s just weird that Shawn is doing just fine rather than being exceptional. His bad knees are taking a toll. His ring work has suffered this year after being, in my opinion, the best wrestler in WWE in 2005. I guess the DX thing is a good way for Shawn and Hunter to not have to wrestle so much now that they’re getting older, but it’s clearly not as good as the original DX in 1997 and early 1998 before Shawn got hurt.
- Why blow a potential PPV main event match like Cena vs. Umaga during the midway point of an episode of Raw? I don’t get it. They’ve done a great job of building up Umaga like some 80s heel monster that only the top babyface can slow down, but giving that match away on this past week’s Raw was a mistake.
- I thought Kevin Federline's stuff in WWE was hilarious for all the wrong reasons. I'm sure I'll write more about this tool in the future. For now, that's enough.
- Generally I like John Cena. Always have. Probably always will. He seems like a really decent guy that works his ass off to improve at his craft. However, I hate how WWE tries to put him in the position of The Rock when he does comedy interviews with the resident nerd (Grisham for Cena while Rock had Kevin Kelly and Coach among others). The Rock’s funnier. I know it, you know it and Cena himself knows it. Stop trying to make him The Rock just like you tried to make him Austin with the feud he had with Eric Bischoff. Let him be his own guy. He’ll do just fine.
- The following words describe what I think every time Melina enters the ring and when I say this please imagine it in the voice of the great Borat: I want to make a sexy time with her. High five!
- Where in the hell is Harry Smith? I thought he was going to debut in the summer. I’m excited to see the kid. Bring him in already.
- Lita’s leaving soon. Can’t say I’ll miss her too much, but I understand why she’s leaving. How many slut jokes is a girl supposed to take, ya know?
- Roddy Piper, you’re one of my favorite wrestlers ever, but please for the love of God do not appear shirtless on my television ever again. Thank you. BTW, I’ll be getting the Piper DVD and I’ll try to review it. Looks awesome.
- You know who I really think has improved over the last year? Johnny Nitro. I don’t think he’ll ever be a main eventer, but he’s really developed into a good worker that has obviously worked on his character as well. Doesn’t hurt to have Melina.
- Cryme Tyme makes me laugh. It’s a fun gimmick. They’re okay in the ring from what I’ve seen. Haven’t seen that much, though.
- Good to see Jeff Hardy back. Looks healthy, looks motivated and still looks like a nutjob too. Then again, maybe I’m weird because I don’t paint my arms. Who knows.
- Has it really been a year since Eric Bischoff was fired as GM and no replacement has been named? Lame. They used to do such a good job of making a big deal about the GM role. They even had a search that eventually got dropped. Now? Nothing.
- Presenting Exhibit A for why you don’t tell a girl you just met that you’re a wrestling fan: Big Dick Johnson!
Smackdown
- I have very little interest in Booker vs. Batista. They just don’t have good chemistry with one another. In the ring it’s not that good. Promo wise it’s just okay at best. The only two main event feuds that I’ve liked Batista in are with HHH and Eddie Guerrero, but that was cut short for obvious reasons. Otherwise, Batista as a main event guy has been a huge flop for me.
- I used to be high on Lashley. Not so much anymore. I thought he had the potential to be as good as Brock Lesnar, but it hasn't happened to this point. Not sure if it ever will although I do think he's got a good future as a near main eventer. At this point he doesn't seem like a top guy to me.
- It's a shame that MNM didn't last longer on SD because if they did they could have had an epic, old school feud with the great London & Kendrick duo. London & Kendrick are terrific together. Too bad there's no heel team to counter them. Well there is, but America's Most Wanted and LAX are in TNA.
- Big fan of Mr. Kennedy. He's become a very convincing serious heel promo guy after being mostly there for comedic purposes before.
- Would love to see Chris Benoit as a main eventer again. No idea if it'll happen again, but I'm glad we got to see it in 2004. That was one of my favorite years just because of him.
- Some will think I’m nuts for this, but in my opinion JBL is the best heel commentator I’ve ever heard. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bobby Heenan and I think Jerry Lawler was terrific for a lot of years before his jokes got really old. I just think JBL is top of the line right now. He’s funny, he’s over the top and the way he berates Michael Cole is priceless. The best thing? He’s only been at it for like six months. He’s going to get better. When WWE realizes that Lawler is done I’m sure JBL will be moved over there.
- I'm amazed at how well Finlay has done after being out of action with a serious injury all these years. His style is as "real" as anybody else in WWE right now. What a joy to watch.
- Why is the Miz employed? I don't understand it. If being annoying was a skill then you could find any random guy in a bar to fill that role.
- Did I just read today that Ashley Massaro had an “implant incident” while overseas in England? That’s why I will always like reading wrestling news. Even when I'm an 80 year old man living in Vegas gambling away my money I'm going to read the wrestling news to read about the latest blonde that pops a boob. That stuff is just priceless. (And if nothing happened to Ashley I apologize. It just wouldn't be a John Report column without talking about boobs.)
- Speaking of boobs, more Jillian Hall boob shaking would be nice. She's a good worker. Move her to Raw where they need good workers.
- It's nice that Rey Mysterio finally has got the time off to have that knee surgery he has needed for about a year. Did he ever have bad matches? I don't think so. Hope he comes back as good as ever next year.
- I think the MVP gimmick is good. I just don’t think the guy playing the gimmick is very good.
- Presenting Exhibit B for why you don’t tell a girl you just met that you’re a wrestling fan: The Boogeyman!
ECW
- I barely watch ECW because the timeslot here in Canada is on the worst night (Friday) at one of the worst times (midnight). When the show first started I downloaded episodes, I watched them on the computer and I enjoyed it for the most part. Then I got lazy, stopped doing that and now I barely remember to set the VCR on Friday nights because I'm usually out at that time. So my thoughts here will be brief.
- I think the ECW brand has revitalized Big Show. He has looked very good as a veteran leader on that program while playing the role of dominant heel champion excellently. I actually have interest in the December PPV because he's done such a good job.
- RVD seems motivated. Too bad he's on a really thin roster. That match with Holly a month or two ago was much better than I expected. Props to both for a job well done there.
- Test is doing better than I thought. Too bad they didn't get rid of the horrid Test name, though. Why not bring him back, give him a new name that might actually sound good and then go from there? Test is as bad a name as there's ever been.
- Please move CM Punk to Raw. He'd benefit so much from feuding with a great heel like Edge or Orton. There just isn't anybody on the ECW roster that's going to elevate him to the level he deserves to be at.
- I miss the Zombie. Remember that guy?
- That great One Night Stand PPV from this year seems like ages ago. I think that's probably the PPV of the year for me. I recently watched it again. What a fun show for many reasons. That Rey/Sabu DDT spot is still one of the sickest things I've ever seen.
TNA
- I'll be the first to admit that I was as shocked as anybody to learn that Kurt Angle quit WWE and then a few weeks later joined up with TNA. I thought that Angle was a WWE lifer, the kind of guy that would take time off when needed, come back when he could and then when he retired he'd work behind the scenes to contribute to the shows by using his mind to help others. Guess I was wrong. Still, I love Kurt Angle as a performer and I always will. He sounds happy, he sounds healthy and he seems to be as motivated as ever. I hope he does great in TNA. It'll only help the business in general.
- More on Angle. Let me just say the best thing in wrestling right now is Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe. The hype for this match has been terrific. I can't wait to see it on Sunday.
- I'll never get sick of AJ Styles. I'm not really sure who he reminds of, but the more I watch him the higher he goes up on my list of favorite wrestlers. Hell of a performer.
- I think my favorite promo guy in all of wrestling right now is Konnan. The way he speaks for LAX is perfect. He has such passion in everything he says and it shows in his performance. He's always been a great promo, but his face promos bored me. He seems much more comfortable as a heel.
- I'm not a big fan of the 2006 version of Sting. Sure, he looked to be in great shape at Bound For Glory, but I don't think a dude in his mid 40s is the best choice for being the "face" of a company that's trying to be hip.
- Christian Cage's face run was well done. However, he's showing week after week that he's much better as a heel. The Rhino feud has been one of the best things going in TNA for months now.
- The BG James/Kip James duo is just sad to watch. They keep trying to live off stuff from a decade ago while stinking it up in the ring. I wonder if they really believe the stuff they are saying. And is anybody surprised by it knowing Vince Russo is writing?
I promise to write more about TNA in the future. I like the product a lot and I want to make people aware of it in case they haven't given it a chance.
In Closing…
I could have written way more, but I think I'm done. If you don't care to know what's coming in the future you might as well stop reading here unless you want to email me, in which case you have to scroll to the bottom.
Now, for future columns. I'm going to ask for your feedback on what you want to see from me. I'm at the point now where I'm open to writing about anything within reason. Chances are good that I'm not going to be writing that much about the current product most likely, so that's why I put down some options here about what I might be writing about.
Reviews - A DVD review like the Bret Hart DVD or the Piper one or something like that. Also past PPV recaps could be done too. I'm not going to do live recaps anymore most likely. Maybe after NFL season.
Lists - Like my top 50 Matches of WWE in the last five years, HBK's top 20 or something like that. Maybe I'll finally do the Austin top 20 after like 6 years of procrastinating about it. A top 20 Rock list would be fun too. It's much easier with "retired" guys rather than current people.
"Live" Running Diary - Live is in quotes because it'll probably be me watching a tape of Raw after the football game (or Smackdown on the weekend) and then writing about it to post in the morning. I might do it for the 2 hour TNA show tonight. We'll see.
Current Product - What's going on today, things like that. An example would be a preview or something like a preview of the forthcoming Survivor Series event.
Other - Something else I didn't mention. Please explain.
My email address is below, so please drop a line with your thoughts on what you want to see from me given the subjects I've outlined above.
I appreciate any and all feedback just as much as I appreciate all the "we knew you'd come back, you always come back" type of comments that are forthcoming. Writing about wrestling for me is like a drug that I can't quit. And that's not such a bad thing.
As a final note, if you're a fan of sports or the NFL in particular please check out the ever growing Sports Oratory website. I write a weekly NFL picks column with two friends every Friday night that might be of interest to some of you. Check out the site if you're into sports. It's sorta new, but we're growing.
Thanks for reading.
Smell ya later,
John C. - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
Visit My Archives to view seven years of columns from over the years.
