RAW this week starts with a picture of Arnold Skaaland, RIP.
Music and pyro.
DX’s music hits and HBK comes out to huge pop. He does the DX pyro chops in the ring by himself (looks strange without HHH). JBL’s music hits and out comes the huge white limo with longhorns on the front. JBL gets out wearing a suit. He climbs up on the stage, mic in hand. He says he just flew in from Wall St. in his $8,000 custom suit because he’s told he has a match with HBK. “You suck,” chant. He says that someone didn’t get the memo because nobody tells him what to do or when to do it. Damn sure no one tells him when to come out of retirement. It sure as hell will be on his terms, in his city. It won’t be in Indiana. JBL, HBK = dream match, not going to happen. So HBK won’t have to worry about JBL kicking his ass tonight. In two weeks Cena will be kicking his ass. He’s had opportunity after opportunity to kick Cena’s head off and he hasn’t taken it. He must be the most egotistical man ever. HBK is amazing with mind games. He’s had guys beaten before they even entered the ring. But this isn’t a mind game, is it? Because he knows he can’t beat Cena. He has the shot right in front of him every week, but won’t take it. He becomes a good guy, find religion. When it comes down to it he gets cheered for being the good guy, even though he won’t even try. He’s not coming out of retirement because HBK makes him sick. The whole time he’s talking he comes down and gets in the ring with HBK.
HBK says he didn’t know this was going to turn into a verbal spat. O e of them came there to fight. He wants to counter what JBL said. As far as respect, he’s not going to worry because he knows he deserves it. As to mind games... Sometimes the best mind games are no mind games at all. And he knows he can beat Cena at WM. But they do have one thing in common. Nobody tells HBK what to do. Nobody tells HBK when to hit sweet chin music. He does it when and where he wants it. It could be tonight or it could be at WM. But, let me tell you... HBK hits sweet chin music on JBL. HBK then says it won’t happen until he knocks JBL’s head off.
HBK leaves the ring, but not before taking JBL’s white cowboy hat. HBK wears the hat up the ramp and out.
- Commercial
Edge is outback looking at a magazine. Orton comes up to him screaming. Orton says Edge got kicked out on purpose on Tuesday. Edge says that things happen. Orton screams some more at Edge and tells Edge he has to compete in a battle royal tonight to get his MITBLM stop back. They glare at each other and then Orton leaves. Edge pitches a fit.
Master’s music hits. Video of many people not being able to break the masterlock challenge. Masters is in the ring looking calm and collected. Lashley’s music hits and he comes out grinning. Lashley jumps up to the apron and into the ring. Masters yells smack at him.
Lashley stares at Masters and then sits in the chair. Masters pokes Lashley’s shoulders as Lashley holds his arms out casually. Masters starts but backs off yelling. Lashley sits calmly. “Bobby,” chant. Masters bitch slaps Lashley who gets to his feet and bitch slaps Masters.
Masters locks it on and gets Lashley to his feet. Lashley tries to get out, but is unable to. Lashley gets his second wind, but still can’t get out. Lashley is down on his knee but gets back up. Lashley then powers out of the hold as if it’s nothing.
Masters is pissed and starts screaming. Masters leaves the ring and tosses a chair around before heading for the ramp. Lashley celebrates in the ring.
- Winner of the Masterlock Challenge: Bobby Lashley
- Commercial
Video from Ashley’s Playboy shoot.
Video of Lashley breaking the masterlock. As Lashley left he rubbed his bald head for Vince.
Lashley and Vince run into each other outback. Vince congratulates Lashley in breaking the masterlock, but that Umaga will be breaking him in two at WM. He then has security escort him from the arena.
Vince and Coach walk along and see Maria. He comments on her looking classy in red tonight. Eugene then spits water all over Vince. Vince says he made a boo-boo. He says accidents happen, but hopes an accident doesn’t happen to Eugene in the ring tonight. He tells Eugene to go get ready and he scurries off. Vince tells Coach to get Umaga. Coach rushes off and Ron Simmons walks up. Ron looks Vince over and says, “Damn!”
JR and King talks about Arnold Skaaland. They show a wonderful video about his career.
- Commercial
Haas, Benjamin, Crazy, Val, Vis and Kenny are in the ring. Flair joins them followed by Nitro and then Carlito. Edge is the last out to the ring, looking very pissed.
The bell rings and they all start fighting. Edge stays out of the fray as much as possible. They all gang up on Vis. They get Vis out first. Edge leaves the ring acting hurt, but not eliminated. Benjamin almost eliminates Nitro who holds the ropes. Edge stays outside the ring while the rest fight it out - as he’s done a lot of lately in these matches.
Crazy gets eliminated by two of the other wrestlers.
- Commercial
Val and Haas were eliminated during the break. Edge is still outside being tended to be the trainer. Nitro gets Carlito on the apron and Kenny works him over. Both Kenny and Carlito climb. Kenny gets knocked down and Benjamin climbs. Flair knocks Shelton to the floor and elimination. Carlito re-enters the ring. Flair eliminates Kenny. Carlito eliminates Nitro. It’s down to Flair and Carlito in the ring, Edge on the outside, but still legal.
Flair throws a bunch of chops but Carlito hits his slingshot reverse elbow. Carlito thinks he’s gotten rid of Flair, but he holds onto the ropes on the apron. Flair gets back in the ring and keeps fighting Carlito. Carlito ends up going over the top ropes but holds on. Finally Flair eliminates Carlito. They are announcing Flair the winner when Edge rushes in the ring and eliminates Flair as he celebrates. It’s obvious that Edge pulled another fast one, spending most of his time outside the ring avoiding the match.
- Winner MITBLM qualifier battle royal: Edge
JR and King talk about Austin’s new movie and how they will be showing clips from the movie, when Vince’s music hits and he comes out with Coach. Vince has all the barber accouterment brought from the stage down to the ringside.
- Commercial
Slam of The Week - Video from last week when Trump showed the pic of Vince bald. Vince then enters the ring acting all tough and gets pushed over the table and onto his bum by Trump.
Vince says that was Trump’s only WM moment and it’s not even WM yet. He talks Umaga up big and then announces him. Umaga comes down to the ring with Estrada. Umaga looks over the barber chair and stuff before entering the ring. Eugene comes out to face Umaga. He looks happy about his match. He’s all excited about the barber pole and chair. He’s much slower to get in the ring.
Umaga knocks Eugene from the apron before he can get in the ring. Eugene gets tossed into the stairs. Umaga tosses Eugene into the ring. Umaga slams Eugene and then stomps him. Eugene gets dropped into a corner with one punch. Umaga hits his bum slam on Eugene. Umaga picks Eugene up by his hair and hits the Samoan spike. Umaga covers for three.
- Winner: Umaga
Vince, Estrada and Umaga are heading for the ramp, but Vince stops and tells Umaga to beat the hell out of Eugene. He tells Umaga to strap Eugene in as if he was Trump. Eugene is strapped in the barber chair. Eugene is all upset and freaking. Vince tells Umaga to choke Eugene out. Umaga wraps his hand around Eugene’s throat and then Vince starts butchering Eugene’s hair. He says it’s symbolic of him cutting Trump’s hair and the hair of every man woman and child in the arena. Vince butchers Eugene’s hair, leaving only length in the back. Vince takes a mic and says not only will he cut off all of Trump’s hair, he’s going to give him a billionaire bitch slap. He bitch slap Eugene so hard the barber chair falls over. He tells Coach to bring Eugene outback to finish off the haircut. He says he will cut off the hair of anyone who gets in his way, just as he will do with Trump.
- Commercial
Candice Michelle is in the ring in black boy shorts with high leg warmers, a matching halter and arm warmers. They all have light pink skulls on them. Candy says she’s been reading Melina’s blog about Playboy cover girls not being able to handle her in the ring. Candy then calls Melina out.
Melina comes out and says the only reason she still has a job is because she takes her clothes off. She cuts up her go daddy dance. She says none of the Playboy cover girls can hold a candle to her. She says there’s a reason she isn’t doing Playboy, it’s beneath her. She keeps turning them down, it’s beneath her.
Candy says she hears Melina doesn’t turn anyone down, and all the guys outback have been beneath her. Candy says not for the title, just a bra and panties match.
Melina says she’s on and calls her a bitch before stomping out to the ring.
- Commercial
Melina tosses Candy down and then pulls Candy’s hair. Candy kicks Melina. Candy hangs backward over the ropes and removes Melina’s bottoms. Back in the ring Melina gets Candy’s top off. Candy hits a hair mare on Melina. Melina hits a hard takeover on Candy and keeps her in head scissors while trying to get her pants off. The hold is broken in the ropes. Candy kicks Melina in the head but can’t get her top off. Melina slams Candy and removes her pants. Candy has a huge bruise on her leg from something previous.
- Winner: Melina
Ashley heads down to the ring and gets right in Melina’s face. Ashley rips Melina’s top off. Melina quickly leaves the ring as Ashley celebrates with Melina’s top.
Khali’s music hits and he heads for the ring. Melina hits Ashley from behind leaving her there prone for Khali. Ashley comes too looking freaked. Khali picks up Ashley. He looks like he’s about to get choke slammed when King says he’s not going to sit idly by and watch Ashley get hurt.
King enters the ring and hits Khali with a low blow. Khali tosses Ashley aside. King gets choke slammed for his valiant efforts. Khali leaves the ring triumphantly with his arms in the air to much heat.
Video of Khali attacking Ashley but tossing her aside for King.
Video of more stars talking about who should loose their hair at WM. Most are calling for Trump to loose his hair. Grisham is sitting in for King.
Jeff Hardy comes down to the ring. Orton comes out to face him.
They lock up and Jeff is backed into a corner. Jeff comes out fighting and gets an arm bar on Orton. Orton tosses Jeff shoulder first into the corner. Jeff uses a couple of arm drags to take Orton down. Orton throws some punches and then an inverted back breaker on Jeff. Orton stomps his way around Jeff. Orton covers for two. Orton gets a sideways Boston crab on Jeff. He finally locks in the hold. Jeff gets to the ropes to break the hold. Orton throws some punches but is taken down by Jeff. Jeff hits a couple clotheslines and then a mule kick for two. Jeff gets whipped but climbs the corner and hits a whisper in the wind.
Edge comes down to the ring and slides a ladder into the ring. Orton uses the ladder to hit Jeff and is disqualified. Orton screams at Edge that he wants him in the ring. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind on Orton and then sets up the ladder. Jeff hits a leg drop over the top of the ladder onto Orton. Orton is in the ring screaming in pain as Edge backs up the ramp with a smirk on his face.
- Winner: Jeff Hardy via DQ
- Commercial
Video of Austin’s new movie.
JR and Grisham go through the matches for WM.
Vince is on the phone. He tells someone to wait for his word to make an announcement. He then says next week will be Lashley against Vince in the ring on RAW. When he gets off the phone Coach asks if the match is a good idea. He says he always agree with Vince, but he can’t condone the match. He’s afraid Lashley will rip his head off. Vince says he will pin Lashley to the mat, 1-2-3. He guaran-damn-tees it!
Video of HBK hitting sweet chin music on JBL.
- Commercial
HBK is at the announce table with Grisham and JR. Video of Umaga demolishing Eugene and then Eugene getting his head shaved. Eugene is outback crying, “Why me?” with his head shaved bald.
Benoit comes down to the ring. Cena comes out to face him to big pop.
They lock up and Cena is backed into a corner. Cena gets tossed from the ring. Benoit bounces Cena’s head off the announce table. HBK is on his feet watching closely. Cena put the breaks on before running into HBK when Cena goes to clothesline Benoit who dicks leaving HBK in the way. Back in the ring Benoit covers for two. Benoit again covers for two. Cena gets a boot into Benoit’s head and follows with a bunch of punches.
Benoit chops and sets up for the sharp shoot. Benoit locks in the hold. Cena tries for the ropes but Benoit pulls Cena to the center of the ring. Cena fights his way to the ropes and the hold is broken. They exchange punches and Benoit hits the hat trick of Germans on Cena. Benoit goes outside and climbs. Benoit flies but Cena moves out of the way of the flying headbutt. Cena hits a couple of clotheslines on Benoit. Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle on Benoit. Cena gets Benoit up for the FU, but Benoit wiggles out. Benoit goes for the crossface but Cena is able to lock on the STFU. Benoit struggles but finally taps out of the hold.
- Winner: Cena
HBK enters the ring and seems to be tuning up the band. Cena glares at HBK. HBK says, “I’ve got you.” to Cena. Cena grabs HBK and gets him up in the FU. Cena puts HBK down and says he got him.
JBL comes out and says why can’t we all just get along? But we will have to. Next week there will be two main events - Vince against Lashley, and a rematch of the PPV match - HBK and Cena against Batista and Taker.
Taker’s music gongs.
Biggest pop
HBK
Cena
Flair
Biggest heat
JBL
Vince
Umaga & Estrada
Edge
Orton
