RAW this week starts with Cena's music. He comes down to the ring with a smirk on his face. JR and King talk about what Cena went through last night during his match. The crowd goes wild for Cena, but there is some mixed reviews for him. Sounds about 60/40 for Cena. He says that the 'Champ is here.'
DX's music hits and HBK comes out to decent pop. Cena glares as HBK as he enters the ring. HBK takes a mic and says the chap is here - mixed reviews. He says it's like reliving a bad dream. It usually the time, the day after WM, when he comes out talking about what an awesome match they had and how HBK and his opponent made history. He says that their math wasn't about screw jobs, massive egos brother and wasn't about a hand shake to show sportsmanship. Cena won and HBK lost, and he doesn't like it. He's sick and tired of having to come out, look guys in the eye, extent his hand and lie to himeslf and tell himeslf they are the better man. He's done with that tonight because John Cena is not the better man.
Cena says that it's fine if HBK wants to get angry, that's fine, but don't question his manhood. Anytime, any place.
HBK says he's got no place he needs to be. So, Dayton Ohio is good, so let's do it.
Coach's music hits and he comes out saying that Vince says the title will not be defended tonight. They seem to be forgetting something, they are the Tag Team Champs and will be defending those titles tonight. "You suck!" chant. Coach took the liberty of getting in contact with the other brands. There will be a ten team, over the top, battle royal for the Tag Titles. And it starts - Now!
Fit Filay and Booker T come out with Sharmell. RVD and Sabu come out together.
- Commercial
There are a lot of people in the ring, 20 to be precise. Kenny got tossed out, so he and Masters are eliminated. HBK tries to eliminate Sabu. JTG gets eliminated so Cryme Tyme is out. Eugene is up top and gets eliminated by Burke from ECW, so Hacksaw is also out. Ducce eliminates Rory, so the Highlanders are out. Burke and Striker almost eliminates HBK, but he fights his way back in. Cena FU's either Duce or Domino from the ring, so they're out. Striker gets tossed, so the New Breed is out. Booker tosses RVD, so Sabu is also gone. Fit and Booker are left in the ring with HBK and Cena. Fit tries to eliminate Cena but can't. Booker then goes after Cena but is slammed. Cena gets Fit up and over the ropes but he lands on the apron. HBK hits sweet chin music on Fit who falls to the floor.
- Winners: HBK & Cena
Coach comes out and tells them to hold on. He tells the they were victorious in part one of their defense. Now is time for their second 20 man battle royal. Matt and Jeff Hardy come down to the ring.
- Commercial
London and Kendricks come out. The battle royal starts with everyone trying to get Big Vis out of the ring. Val is eliminated, so Vis is gone. Thorne tries to eliminate HBK. Regal is eliminated. Hels and Chavo are trying to eliminate Cena. Dreamer is gone, so Sandman is gone too. HBK is almost tossed out.
JR sounds horrible, as if he might loose his voice again tonight, but possibly mus earlier than last night.
- Commercial
The Miz is on the apron, as is Jeff Hardy. Cena is hanging on the outside of the ropes by Miz and Nitro. Nitro gets tossed by HBK hitting sweet chin music on him and saving Cena. But then Cena gets eliminated by Cena by sweet chin music. Hbk leaves the ring. As he goes up the ramp he tells Cena he has one goal. Kendrick eliminates Chavo and himself in the same flip over the top move. Cade and Murdoch are in the ring with Matt and Jeff. Jeff beats on Cade while Matt works on Murdoch. Matt gets whipped but gets a foot in Murdoch's face. An inverted atomic drop to Jeff and both Hardys are down. Cade and Murdoch try to eliminate Jeff but Matt enters the fray and helps his brother. A side effect from Matt to Murdoch. Matt and Jeff both climb dropping legs on their opponents. Jeff tries to eliminate Murdoch and Matt tries to get Cade out. Murdoch lands on the apron, as does Cade. Murdoch re-enters but Cade gets pushed from the apron, but it's under the ropes! Murdoch then gets dumped over the top. Both are eliminated leaving the brothers in the ring.
- Winners: Matt & Jeff Hardy!
HBK is outback with Grisham who asks about him eliminating Cena. HBK says it was only confusing Cena. Orton enters saying that HBK lost his chance when he lost last night. HBK is not happy with that. Orton says Cena wants to face HBK because he know he can beat HBK. Cena can't beat Orton.
JR and King talk about WM23. Video montage from last night. Then they go through each match.
Coach is outback telling Vince he's his number one fan. We can't see Vince. Vince tells him to take him to the ring. He sees Maria and Candice. Vince says he's going to take his hat off and asks them how he looks. They say he looks more handsome than ever. He then sees Cryme Tyme and Eugene. Eugene laughs and gets yelled at as well as called an idiot. Then he sees Ron Simmons who so wants to say 'Damn!', but Vince tells him not to. He struggles with it then finally does say "Damn!" Vince starts ranting saying he's going to tak eit out on the fans. Through the whole thing the camera angle is as if it's Vince holding the camera - We never actually see him.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Stills from Vince getting his head shave last night.
Lillian announces Vince. Vince comes out in a brown fedora with a feather in it. He looks more than pissed and the crowd is making barely a sound. He says we expect him to eat a nice big slice of humble pie. Boos. We all must like that he's a bald billionaire. April 1st will go down as a day in infamy. A day that a travesty of injustice came down on him. The perpetrator if the injustice is a beer swilling soon to be action moive star - Austin. If it wasn't for him Trump wouldn't have any hair. Since he has the authority he's wiping the slate clean, it did not happen to him. He makes Lillian announce Vince as the winner of the Battle of The Billionaires. To prove his point that Lashley can't prove Umaga legitimately. He can't take Lashley's hair, but he can take his title belt. So Lashley will be facing Umaga tonight in a title match. "We want Austin," chant. Vince says he never wants to see him again. They all came to see Vince without hair, and everyone at home wants to see it too, but it won't happen. He said he had the hat surgically cemented to his head. The same surgeon said hsi hair would grow back as great as ever, he has more testosterone than an all male prison. The pictures online are the last time we will se him with his bald head. They have no chance in hell of seeing him bald.
Vince is leaving the ring when Lashley comes out grinning. Lashley gets in the ring and faces Vince. Vince tries to bitch slap Lashley. Lashley ducks and then pulls Vince's hat off his head. Vince is all upset trying to hide his head. He leaves the ring and steals JR's hat. Lashley takes it. He then hides his head under the ring skirt with his bum in the air. Lashley pulls the ring skirt up. Vince rushes in the ring and hides his head under Lillian's skirt. Lillian is trying to get away but Vinc eholds her legs. Lashley slowly enters the ring and rips off Lillian's skirt. She screams and leaves the ring. Vince rushes away up the ramp.
- Commercial
Slam of The week - Flair and Carlito against Helms and Chavo in a dark match before WM23.
Flair and Carlito come down to the ring with Torrie. Torrie is in a leopard halter dress. Flair is in an ugly mustard robe that I don't remember seeing before. Haas and Benjamin come down in new white and blue outfits.
Carlito and Shelton lock up. Shoulder block to Shelton and then a clothesline from Shelton. Shelton hits a few forearms to Carlito's upper back. Haas tags in. Carlito starts coming back and Shelton tags in. Carlito hits a clothesline and then a high knee. Haas tags in and whips Carlito, then a kick to Carlito's face. Carlito looks shaken. Flair tries to enter but is stopped. Shelton tags in and slams Carlito. A chinlock on Carlito. Carlito elbows out, ducks a clothesline and hits his springboard back elbow. Flair is able to tag in. He cchops them both and Punches Haas. Shelton hits a back body drop on Flair. Haas picks up Flair's legs and he holds the ropes. Carlito pulls the ropes down sending Shelton outside so he can't execute the move on Flair. Flair hits a chopblock on Haas. Flair gets the figure four on Haas. Haas taps out.
- Winners: Flair & Carlito
Video replay of highlights from the Hall of Fame.
- Commercial
Grisham is talking with Timbaland in the front row. His CD comes out tomorrow.
Melina comes out in a black micro-mini, matching halter with rhinestones. She grabs a mic and tells Timbaland she wants to star in his new video. She says that last night she proved to the world is nothing more than a pretty face. Posing in Playboy may be glamerous, but it pales to being the Woman;s champ. She then poses for a photo op. Mickie rushes out and slams Melina. She hits a hard DDT on Melina and leaves. She blows Melina a kiss while backing up the ramp.
Video of Mickie's DDT.
- Commercial
Foley talks about the Make A Wish foundation and how much the WWE has done to help them.. Next Monday a special wish will be granted.
Great Khali comes down to the ring. Super Crazy comes out to no pop. He tries to beat on Khali. Crazy climbs and hits a misstle dropkick that down nothing. Khali chops Crazy's head and then slams him. Khali puts his foot on Crazy's chest and covers for three.
- Winner: Great Khali
Estrada is outback talking to Vince who is totally pissed. Vince goes on a tirade about what happened last night and then tonight. He tells Estrada that Umaga has a tag partner is Estrada against Lashley tonight.
- Commercial
Video from earlier when HBK eliminated Cena in the battle royal tonight. The Matt and Jeff won the title belts.
Maria is outback with Matt and Jeff. Jeff says it's awesome to be the 6 time Tag Team Champs. Matt says they've been through a lot the past couple weeks but nothing could be better than being there with his brother.
Video from the premier of Austin's movie.
Edge's music and he come sout looking pissed and limping. He says a lesser man would not be standing there tonight. It took every ounce of energy to pull himself out of bed last night. He's not sure if he's comprehending everything properly. Jeff slamming a lader into him. He thinks he head HBK demand and was granted a WWE title shot, that Orton wnated a title shot. And that Cena is still the WWE Champ. He find it all amusing. He knows HBK is the man he's bashed over the head countless time. He knows Orton is the same egomaniac he's outsmarted countles times. Cena is the same champ he beat countless times. It doesn't matter what they call themselves, because he calls himself the best. And we will all be forced to call him the nect WWE Champion.
Lashley and Umaga are heading for the ring.
- Commercial
Umaga and Estrada come down to the ring. Lashley comes down to face them.
Umaga attacks Lashley as he enters the ring. Outside Lashley is tossed into the stairs. The ref yells for them to get in the ring. Umaga stomps Lashley. Lashley is whipped but gets his elbow up. Estrada gets slammed into the corner by Lashley's shoulder. Umaga chops Lashley. Lashley tries for a sunset flip but Estrada kicks him in the gut. Umaga sits on Lashley and covers for two. Umaga stomps Lashley. Lashley fights back with punches but Umaga hits a Samoan drop. Umaga kicks Lashley in the lower back. Umaga uses the second rope to get height and slam his bum down on Lashley's chest. He does it again but Lashley gets his legs up to block. A DDT to Umaga but the Umaga gets a foot in Lashley's face and covers for two. Estrada ducks from the ring before he gets hit. Umaga and Lashley exchange punches and Estrada covers for two. Umaga kicks Lashley in the back and Estrada gouges his eyes. A headbutt for Lashley and Estrada covers for two. Umaga covers for two. A punch from Umaga. Estrada covers again for two. Umaga stomps Lashley. Lashley comes back with punches. Umaga hits a side kick dropping Lashley. Estrada stomps Lashley. Umaga chokes Lashley in a corner.
Lashley starts to fight back. Estrada walks on Lashley. A punch drops Lashley in a corner then he's stomped. Umaga hits a bum slam. Estrada tell Umaga to finish him. Umaga goes for a Samoan spike but it's blocked by a kick. Lashley comes back fighting. A spear and Lashley covers for two. Estrada breaks up the count. Umaga accidentally runs down Estrada with a splash in a corner. Lashley slams Estrada and covers for three.
- Winner: Lashley
Biggest pop
Flair
Cena
Matt & Jeff
Biggest heat
Coach
Vince
Edge
