RAW this week starts with video of Orton punting Cena Sr’s head. Then he pulled Cena Sr. from the crowd last night, but Cena tackled him before he could attack. Cena Sr. punted Orton’s head. Coach gets Cena Sr. out of there and then yells at him out back. He says there will be a rematch at No Mercy, a Last Man Standing Match. Cena pushes Coach for putting his hands on his father.
Cena’s music and he comes out to good pop, but some heat. He has a smirk on his face, still holding the belt in his hands. He grabs a mic and the heat gets louder. He says he knows some of them are upset with him. That he hasn’t been himself lately. He’s had a lot of pent up aggression and wants to say he’s sorry. But tonight’s a different story - he feels great. He feels fabulous. A weight’s been lifted off his shoulders, it will all be okay. Because he lost to Orton last night. He feels so great that he had to come out and say thank you. Thank you to his dad for showing up and then making him the proudest man on Earth. Thank you to Orton, who has made him realize what’s important. That Orton was stupid enough to think his father was a distraction. Stupid enough to think he got himself intentionally distracted. Stupid enough to want a rematch. That Coach is stupid enough to put together the match. So they will face off at No Mercy. There will be no rules, no limits, no pinfalls no disqualifications. What he did to Orton last night is perfectly legal. He can do whatever he wants. He will go through Orton like a knife through hot butter. Thanks Coach, because he’s so excited...
Coach comes out and says Cena shouldn’t be thanking him for the match at NM. He should be thanking him for having a job. His father was there at his request. Then Cena put his hands on him. At the least he could have stripped him of the title. Since Cena feels like he got revenge last night, now Orton will get his revenge. It will be Orton against Cena tonight.
Cena says it’s not punishment, he’s looking forward to it.
Coach says that’s not enough, so he met with Cena’s father this morning.
Cena asks about him meeting with his father.
Coach says he did. He says he told his father that he was planning on stripping Cena of the title. But Cena Sr. pleaded and said he’d do anything to keep Cena from losing his title. So, tonight it will be Orton against Cena Sr.
Cena looks totally pissed.
- Commercial
JR and King are talking about Orton facing Mr. Cena. King says he brought it on himself. They go on to talk about Hornswoggle.
Jeff Hardy comes dancing out to the ring. Video of Khali beating down Jeff last week. Shelton Benjamin comes out to face him.
Shelton knees Jeff in the gut then hits a suplex for two. Jeff gets kicked in a corner. “Hardy” chant. An inverted atomic drop, a drop kick and Jeff covers for two. An arm bar on Shelton. An arm drag to Jeff but Jeff keeps the hold on. Shelton reverse the hold on Jeff. “Hardy” chant. Jeff gets an overhand wrist lock on Shelton and takes him down. Jeff kick Shelton in a corner. Jeff elevates Shelton over the ropes and he lands on the apron. Jeff hits a reverse mule kick knocking Shelton from the apron. Jeff flies out over the top onto Shelton.
- Commercial
Shelton has a head lock on Jeff. During the break Jeff missed a whisper in the wind. Jeff gets out but runs into a flapjack. Shelton covers for two. Jeff gets kicked in a corner. Shelton slams into him in a corner. Jeff gets choked on the ropes. A neck breaker to Jeff for two. A couple head butts to Jeff. A head lock on Jeff in the center of the ring. Jeff gets to his feet and out of the hold, but get slammed to the mat. Shelton covers for two. Shelton goes for a kick which Jeff ducks, but they both hit clotheslines at the same time. Both are down for seven.
A clothesline to Shelton. Jeff hits whisper in the winds. Jeff misses a twist of fate and ends up in a back breaker for two. Shelton gets whipped, but moves. Jeff lands on his face in a corner. Shelton covers for two. Jeff misses a suplex and hits a reverse DDT for a long two. Shelton covers again for two. Jeff climbs and Shelton leaps up. Shelton almost falls but regains his balance. Jeff pushes him off. Jeff hits a swanton and covers for three.
- Winner: Jeff Hardy
Jeff rolls from the ring and celebrates with the fans. He pulls off an arm warmer and gives it to a kid in the front row. He backs his way up the ramp in his ripped tank top looking like he’s been through a war.
Promo for the Diva Search Finalists. They’re playing volleyball. It was blondes against the brunettes. The blondes won. One Diva will be eliminated tonight.
Vince is in his limo looking at his watch. Coach climbs in all happy, but Vince is pissed. Coach understand but says Vince won’t have to worry too much longer. There’s a plan in motion and Vince won’t have to worry about this...
Hornswoggle is chomping down on a box of Lucky Charms. He’s taped down into a child seat.
Vince says this child needs restraint.
Hornswoggle gets out of the tape, about attacks Coach and they leave the limo together.
- Commercial
WWE Rewind - Maria is talking to Ron about Santino and wanting to break up. Santino attacks Ron and drags Maria off.
Cena is out back talking to his father. Sr. says he’s wrestling tonight, he’s not letting Coach stip him of the title. Cena says he’ll win it again. Sr. says he knows the title means everything to him and he’s wrestling.
Santino is outside the Diva’s locker room screaming for Maria. Jillian comes out and says Maria doesn’t want to see him. He cuts down Britney and Jillian freaks.
Santino wants to impress Maria.
Jillian says they should sing a country duet. She starts singing.
He says he’ll come up with another idea.
Hornswoggle got away from Coach. Vince tells him to find him.
Vince hears Irish music coming from his office. They look in and it’s all decorated green with balloons and boxes o Lucky Charms everywhere. Vince says something needs to happen, accidentally.
Hornswoggle bounces up from behind a table with, “Hi Dad!” Gold coins fly everywhere. Coach tries to grab him and he runs off with Coach on his tail.
Vince sits down but comes face to face with a pony wearing an unicorn horn. Vince gets up carefully and backs away.
- Commercial
It’s a Flag Match. From Iran is Daivari, who’s in the ring. Hacksaw comes down to the ring.
The flags are set up and Daivari climbs, but gets tossed across the ring. Hacksaw climbs, but is pulled down. A chop block to Hacksaw. Daivari throws some punches and does a harsh knee maneuver. Daivari heads for his corner but Hacksaw holds him. Daivari climbs but Hacksaw pulls him down to land in a manly-painful way. Hacksaw climbs but Daivari climbs with him. Hacksaw punches Daivari away. Hacksaw gets his American flag.
- Winner: Hacksaw
Hacksaw limps around the ring in celebration.
Cody wants to face Orton, talking to Coach. He says Orton kicked his father in the head and doesn’t want Sr. to face Orton.
Cody leaves and Cena shows up. He tells Coach to call off the match. He won’t be responsible for what happens - what happens to Orton or anyone else.
Cena is in a match tonight, and Coach is fair. If Cena wins his match, then Sr. won’t have to wrestle. Sr’s fate is in Cena’s hands.
Cena looks even more pissed.
- Commercial
Vince comes down to the ring, he has paperwork in hand. He says most of us must have been shocked that the seed of his loins produced a leprechaun. He doesn’t want us to think he’s not proud of his son. He’s a compassionate human being and is welcoming Hornswoggle into the family.
Hornswoggle comes down to the ring and dances around. Vince keeps telling him to stop dancing. He does stop, but keeps bouncing.
He doesn’t want him all tired as he has something to say to him. But, being a McMahon, when Vince does he will come into a lot of money. But money’s not everything. Life’s about love and compassion. It’s not al about the money. He’s going to open his heart and do something for him. Vine says he’s putting Hornswoggle up for adoption. He introduces Ed and Alice, his new parents.
They come out with their lawyer. They’re a nice looking couple. Hornswoggle is ‘crying’.
Ed says they’ve been waiting years for a little boy. Alice says he’s beautiful and they will love him so much.
Hornswoggle tries to hold onto Vince. Vince pushes him to Ed. Hornswoggle pantses Ed. He chases Ed and the lawyer away.
Vince tries to get Alice to sign the papers, but Hornswoggle bites her on the ass and she leaves.
Hornswoggle is all happy, Vince isn’t. Vince tells him to stay the hell away from him. He doesn’t want him in his family. He’s a disgrace to the family and to him. He tells him to get the hell out of the ring and out of his life. Vince tells him to go back to the rock he used to hide under.
Hornswoggle leaves the ring and an “Asshole” chant starts.
Vince says everyone else would have done the same thing in his position.
HHH’s music and he comes out, Vince looks rather unhappy about this. HHH gets in the ring smirking.
Vince asks what he’s doing here. “HHH” chant. Vince tells the fans to shut up.
HHH says Vince seems mad that he’s out there. He went through a lot of trouble decorating Vince’s office. Does he have a clue how hard it is to find a unicorn in Nashville. He’s out there to congratulate Vince. He says he knows Vince has slept with a lot of trolls, but he didn’t know he also slept with a lot of elves, fairies and hobgoblins too.
Vince says he never slept with fairies.
HHH says that the Internet says different. But it seems the genetic jackhammer had too many Jack Daniels, didn’t jack off and ended up standing in the ring as the genetic jack ass. He doesn’t understand why Vince didn’t see it coming. He’s a little short tempered, a little short sighted and he has a microscopic penis.
Vince asks if he’s finished.
HHH says that’s what Hornswoggle’s Mom asked when Hornswoggle was conceived. He asks if they actually did it on the yellow brick road or in the Smurf Village? Did he use a pick-up line or just yell ‘Hi-Ho’? Did he even try to use a condom or wrap a four leaf clover around it? One more thing... Was Hornswoggle’s Mom magically delicious?
Vince says HHH’s going to be in a match right now against the Tag Team Champions - Handicap Match.
- Commercial
A side headlock on HHH from Murdoch. Cade tags in but HHH double clotheslines them. Cade is tossed outside then Murdoch is sent out on top of him.
Carlito is heading for the ring. Cade comes at HHH and hits a swinging neck breaker for two. Murdoch tags in and gets dropped on HHH. Murdoch covers for two. HHH gets whipped and goes down. Murdoch stands on the second rope and takes HHH down for two. “Carlito sucks” chant. “HHH” chant.
Cade tags in and covers for two. A face lock on HHH. HHH gets to his feet and out. HHH gets whipped but gets his foot up into Cade’s face. Murdoch tags in, climbs but lands face first on HHH’s foot. “HHH” chant. Cade tags in. HHH hits a high knee. A face buster to Cade. A clothesline from HHH. Murdoch is in illegally. HHH tosses Murdoch out. A spine buster to Cade for three.
- Winner: HHH
Carlito rushes in and it’s three on HHH. London and Kendrick rush down to the fray. The two tag teams get run off. Carlito is yelling at them and turns around into HHH. A hard right from HHH, followed by a spine buster. Carlito rolls out.
Kendrick and London celebrate and back flip off corners. They want to team up with HHH. They all shake hands and then HHH throws a right to London. A pedigree to Kendrick and then one to London seals HHH as being by himself.
- Commercial
Beth is by the announce table in a black rhinestone corset. Video of her beating the hell out of Candy last night, though Candy ended up winning.
Melina and Jillian come out, both in nude colored two piece outfits with sparkles on them. Candy and Mickie come out. Candy is in gold and black, two pieces. Mickie is in her two piece pink outfit.
Beth is glaring at Candy. Mickie and Melina lock up. Mickie hits head scissors on Melina for two. A kick to Melina’s gut. Mickie sits up top and Melina climbs, but Melina is pushed off. Melina slams Mickie down and tags out. Jillian flings Mickie by her hair. Melina tags in and takes Mickie down. Mickie is able to tag out. A couple clotheslines form Candy to Melina, then a drop kick. A kick to Melina then a suplex to Melina for two. Jillian breaks up the count. Melina kicks Candy in the face. Jillian tags in, gets a ‘candy wrapper’ and a three count.
- Winners: Candice & Mickie
Beth takes the belt and enters the ring. She puts the belt on Candy’s shoulder, HARD. She then slaps the belt, hard before grinning and leaving the ring.
- Commercial
We get to see a ‘special look’ at Austin’s movie.
Out back Vince says to Coach he feels pretty good about tonight and the Cena match. Coach says he picked a great opponent.
Vince asks if anyone has seen Hornswoggle.
Coach says no and he is scarred for life.
Vince leaves, Coach says he’ll see him at the wedding. Vince gets in the limo. As it pulls away the trunk opens and Hornswoggle is in it waving.
Coach yells for Vince, but the limo keeps going.
- Commercial
Cena’s music and he comes out to a mixed reaction. He runs to the ring and is ready to go. Santino’s music plays and out he comes. Cena laughs.
They lock up and Cena gets a side head lock on Santino. Santino gets taken down twice and then a suplex. The five knuckle shuffle and Santino runs from the ring. Cena brings him back in.
Orton rushes in and attacks Cena.
Santino holds Cena from the outside and Orton beats the hell out of him. Orton stomps Cena as Santino chokes him. Orton handcuffs Cena to the bottom rope.
- Winner: Cena via DQ
Coach comes out and says there’s been a misunderstanding. Cena did win by DQ, but he needed to win by pinfall or submission, which he forgot to tell him. The match is still on and it’s next.
Cena is pacing outside the ring while Orton walks up the ramp.
- Commercial
Cena is still pacing outside the ring.
Orton’s music and he comes back out to the ring. Cena motions for Orton to come close. Lillian announce Cena Sr. Cena motions for his father to not come out. Sr. comes out slowly. He goes over by his son. Cena grabs his arm but he pulls away.
Orton grabs Sr. and whips him around. A knee to Sr. gut and he goes down. Orton stomps Sr. Cena tells Orton to come out and deal with him. Punches to Sr. Orton stomps Sr’s shin. Orton stomps Sr’s arm. Orton pulls Sr’s head back so he stares at his son, then stomps his head.
Cody rushes in and attacks Orton. Orton beats him down and tosses him from the ring. Cody gets tossed into the stairs.
- Winner: Orton via DQ
Sr. is sitting in a corner. Orton pulls him up. An RKO (bad one) to Sr. Sr. plays it well though.
Cena pulls the turn buckle off and runs across the ring. Orton runs. Cena sits over his father while Orton smirks on the ramp.
Video replay of the RKO.
Cena, still attached to the lower rope, talks to the ref while hovering over his father. Some of the fans chant, “You can’t wrestle!”
Biggest pop
HHH
Jeff Hardy
Cody
Biggest heat
Orton
Vince
Coach
Most mixed
Cena