AEW Dynamite Results (5/18/2022): Houston, TX.

This week's show kicks off with the usual cold open video package and theme song. From there, we shoot inside the arena where Jim Ross does his usual "It's Wednesday night, and you know what that means."

Owen Hart Foundation Tournament
Samoa Joe vs. Johnny Elite

We then head down to the ring for our opening contest of this week's show, which features another first round match in the first-annual Owen Hart Foundation Tournament.

We’re live from the Fertitta Center in Houston, Texas! It’s Wild Card Wednesday and we’re getting right to the action!

Show of hands, how many people thought “Johnny Elite” was going to be Johnny Gargano? It’s Johnny Mundo, Nitro, etc. by the way. Big elbow by Elite as Joe was looking for a lock up. Joe’s not happy as he chops Elite’s chest to hamburger.

Elite reverses into a double leg takedown and the men square up. Joe seems like he’s doing being a nice guy and delivers some stiff leg kicks followed by his trademark punches in the corner.

Another chop from Joe but Johnny fires back with some chops of his own. Johnny hits the ropes and Joe hits a running back elbow that levels Johnny. Joe with a neck vice but Johnny gets up and hits a superkick. Front headlock by Johnny but Joe fights up with some strikes. Johnny hits the rope and delivers a cartwheel into a lariat that sends Joe to the outside.

Johnny then up top and hits a twisting cannonball to the outside. Back in the ring and Johnny is in control with some strikes in the corner, but Joe catches him coming in and hits a uranage for a two count. Joe then hits a running shoulder block off the ropes that knocks Johnny into a 720 as the crowd chants for Joe!

Manhattan drop by Joe followed by a running big boot and a senton for a two count. Johnny tries to fight up and pick up Joe but he can’t get him up. Joe clobbers Johnny’s back and delivers a huge chop that floors Elite for a two count. Joe sets Elite up on the top rope and he’s looking for the Muscle Buster.

Joe has him up but Johnny back flips out and hits a big Samoan Drop. Elite goes up top and hits an awkward 450, due to Joe being too far away. Johnny still gets a two count. Rising knee strike by Johnny followed by a Starship Pain, but Joe gets the knees up! Joe is pissed and just palm strikes the man into oblivion. Joe sets Johnny up on the top rope… Muscle Buster! That’s all she wrote.

Winner: Samoa Joe

Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal & Satnam Singh

Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, and Satnam Singh are here, and they attack Joe. Sonjay holds Joe and Lethal hits him in the shoulder with a pipe! The Best Friends make the save but the damage has been done.

Jeff Hardy is in the back with his brother Matt, and the good news is he’s medically cleared for the night. The Young Bucks arrive and tell Jeff he might want to take the night off. Matt Hardy calls them Hardy Boys cosplayers.

CM Punk is here as he joins the commentary team in advance of the next match. Speaking of…

Konosuke Takeshita vs. Adam Page

Takeshita attacks with a crossbody right away but Hangman catches him and hits a fall away slam. Takeshita rolls to the apron as Hangman hits the double jump lariat followed by a tope to the outside.

Hangman rolls Takeshita to the inside and panders to the fans, as Takeshita hits a SKY HIGH tope of his own. Back inside Takeshita attempts a springboard but Page catches him and he hits the turnbuckle. Page hits a back suplex on the ring apron followed by an Orihara moonsault to the outside as we head to commercial.

Big boot by Hangman inside the ring. Chops by Hangman but Takeshita powers up, until Hangman hits a Death Valley Driver for a two count. Takeshita fires some forearms and hits the ropes at roughly eighty miles an hour and delivers a flying lariat.

Blue Thunder Bomb by Takeshita for a two count! CM Punk & Excalibur namedropping El Generico is pretty cool. Takeshita with a running somersault tope to the outside. Takeshita then rolls Hangman inside and delivers a big Helluva kick! Hangman follows Takeshita and delivers one of his own! Hangman grabs a waistlock and hits a SCARY German suplex. Takeshita up right away and hits a German suplex of his own.

Both men are up and hit the ropes and meet in the middle with a pair of lariats. Forearm. Forearm. Forearm. Hangman and Takeshita are trading shots in the middle of the ring but Hangman gets tired of that and hits a jumping tombstone piledriver! Two count! Hangman looks for the Buckshot as he motions to Punk, but Hangman is taking his time and Takeshita ducks and hits a BIG rolling elbow!

Takeshita with a Last Ride powerbomb! Long two count! Running knee strike by Takeshita but Hangman BARELY gets out at two! What a match! Deadlift German suplex by Takeshita but he can’t hold the bridge due to the damage to the neck from the piledriver!

Takeshita steadies Hangman for the rising knee but Hangman blocks it! Rolling elbow by Hangman. Rolling elbow by Takeshita. Takeshita hits the ropes and comes flying off RIGHT INTO a huge elbow by Page!

Page makes eye contact with Punk as he puts Takeshita on the top rope. Takeshita fights Page off and attempts the big short-arm clothesline off the top, but Page back flips out of it! Discus lariat by Page, Buckshot lariat! That’s not enough at Page picks up Takeshita… GTS! That gets the win for Hangman.

Winner: Hangman Page

CM Punk & "Hangman" Adam Page

Punk and Page stare each other down after the match as Punk is clearly the favorite with the fans.

Fuego Del Sol is here to call out the House of Black.. bless this man’s heart. Evil Uno and 10 are here with Fuego and they challenge House of Black to a match on Rampage.

Keith Lee & Swerve vs. The WorkHorsemen

JD Drake and Anthony Henry are one of my absolute favorite tag teams in recent time, so I hope they get a good showing here. Drake and Lee start here and that’s a lot of man in there. Drake starts by chopping Lee.

Lee responds with a double chop of Drake who is forced to take a knee. Arm ringer by Lee as Swerve gets the tag but Drake fires back with a big chop. Henry attempts an ankle pick by Swerve fights out. Henry responds with some roundhouse kicks to the stomach. Swerve with a diving back heel hock followed by a diving European uppercut from the second rope.

Rolling thunder flatliner but Drake comes in and eats a chop. Swerve tags Lee who hits an outside in crossbody block! Henry dives off the top at Swerve, but Swerve sidesteps him and Lee hits the POUNCE. Lee picks up Henry for the Spirit Bomb as Swerve comes off the top with a double stomp. That’s going to be it.

Winner: Keith Lee & Swerve

Keith Lee, Swerve Strickland, Jurassic Express

Keith Lee says with that win, he and Swerve are now a top five tag team. Lee is interrupted by Team Taz’ Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks. Ricky Starks calls Keith Lee “Rex from Toy Story”.

Starks says Team Taz deserve the tag title shot before they do. Swerve says Starks is dressed like a bar of soap with a pearl necklace on. This is tremendous stuff here.

Here comes Jurassic Express with Christian. Christian says Starks looks like he’s going golfing with his grandfather.

Christian challenges Team Taz AND Swerve & Lee for a three-way match at Double or Nothing. Christian also says he wants Swerve vs. Starks vs. Jungle Boy next weekend on Dynamite. Is Christian the commish?

Tony Schiavone Interviews Red Velvet, Kris Statlander

Tony Schiavone is here with Red Velvet and Kris Statlander. Velvet says their friendship… well that shipped has sailed. Statlander says they’ve both changed, but she’s here for the title.

MJF Gives Wardlow 10 Lashes, All Hell Breaks Loose

MJF is here and we’re about to dish out 10 lashings to Wardlow. MJF is upset he’s no longer in Long Island, because things are bigger in Texas, including grotesque, fat, hicks in the audience.

MJF says Wardlow can’t touch him or the match is off, so MJF spits in his face. Wardlow no sells the first lashing. Wardlow no sells the second lashing. MJF isn’t happy, so he takes off his dress shirt and gets a running start. Wardlow no sells a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh.

MJF completely loses it like Michael Bolton did on the printer in Office Space. Eight shot from Shawn Spears. Nothing. Ninth shot and Wardlow finally reacts as he gets in MJF and Spears’s face. Wardlow is ready for the tenth but MJF instead decides to kick him in the yambag!

MJF whips Wardlow while he’s down as Spears picks up Wardlow, holds him, and MJF cracks him in the face with the Dynamite Diamond Ring! Spears then hits the C4!

Roppongi Vice Is Back Full-Time

Rocky Romero and Trent Barretta are here, and they announce Roppongi Vice is back full time! RPG Vice baby! RPG Vice says they want the trifecta, the ROH, IWGP, and AEW tag team titles… but they want to start with FTR!

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Rey Fenix (Owen Hart Foundation Tournament)

O’Reilly pulls guard to start which is GENIUS against a striker! Lots of back and forth early with Kyle ending up in a straight arm bar that Fenix rolls into a cradle. Both men trade cradles as Kyle focuses his attack on the arm (PSYCHOLOGY, BABY!).

Standing kimura by Kyle but Fenix strikes his way out. Kyle runs into a big boot as Fenix hops up to the top turnbuckle, but Kyle grabs a hold of the wrist.

Fenix ducks under the top rope to the apron as he twists Kyle’s arm under the rope, and delivers a jumping back kick off the second rope. Kyle rolls to the outside as Fenix hits a picture-perfect tope con hilo! Fenix rolls Kyle back into the ring and looks for the frog splash from the top, but Kyle catches him in a triangle choke.

Fenix rolls through for the pin but Kyle hooks the leg and transitions to a straight arm bar. Fenix gets to the rope, but the damage has been done. Kyle follows Fenix to the outside with strikes to the arm, including running Fenix into the post shoulder-first.

O’Reilly pulls guard to start which is GENIUS against a striker! Lots of back and forth early with Kyle ending up in a straight arm bar that Fenix rolls into a cradle. Both men trade cradles as Kyle focuses his attack on the arm (PSYCHOLOGY, BABY!). Standing kimura by Kyle but Fenix strikes his way out. Kyle runs into a big boot as Fenix hops up to the top turnbuckle, but Kyle grabs a hold of the wrist.

Fenix ducks under the top rope to the apron as he twists Kyle’s arm under the rope, and delivers a jumping back kick off the second rope. Kyle rolls to the outside as Fenix hits a picture-perfect tope con hilo! Fenix rolls Kyle back into the ring and looks for the frog splash from the top, but Kyle catches him in a triangle choke.

Fenix rolls through for the pin but Kyle hooks the leg and transitions to a straight arm bar. Fenix gets to the rope, but the damage has been done. Kyle follows Fenix to the outside with strikes to the arm, including running Fenix into the post shoulder-first.

Both men get back in the ring as Kyle hits a sliding knee strike to the face! Fenix rolls back outside and Kyle follows, as Kyle wrenches the arm over the guard rail. Kyle sits Fenix in a chair at ring side and hits a running dropkick before rolling him back into the ring. Fenix tries to fight back but Kyle stomps at his head and Ole Anderson’s the arm.

Fenix finally does get up as both guys trade some elbows, and Kyle attacks with leg kicks. Fenix has had enough and delivers some stiff overhand chops. Kyle throws Fenix into the ropes as Fenix attempts the rebound hook kick, but the arm gives out. Kyle tries to follow up but Fenix hits an enziguiri.

Fenix with a springboard spinning back kick to the face! Fenix than has Kyle up in an Alabama Slam position and flips him over into a falling powerbomb for a two count (that’s a new one on me). Fenix hits a rolling thunder hurricanrana that gets a long two count. Kyle’s chest is literally blood from the chops.

Kyle hits a pop up roundhouse kick followed by his patented three strike combo that ends with the foot sweep, but Fenix avoids it and lands a head kick! Fenix jumps off the top rope but Kyle catches him in the butterfly position and hits two rolling suplexes, but Fenix powers him into the corner.

Enziguiri followed by the double jump spinning back kick! Half and half snap suplex by Fenix and O’Reilly tries to rebound with a lariat but misses, Fenix rebounds with the spinning hook kick, then Kyle rebounds with the bottom rope lariat! Leg kick by O’Reilly. Leg kick by Fenix. Both men to their knees as they trade palm strikes.

O’Reilly catches the strike by Fenix and hits an arm ringer, as he pulls guard with a guillotine attempt. O’Reilly tries to transition to a kimura but Fenix responds with a Ghetto Blaster! Kyle answers with Axe & Smash, but Fenix hits a super kick! Kyle falls to the apron but hooks the bottom rope to stay in the ring.

Fenix hops up to the top and walks the rope… hurricanrana by Fenix off the apron to the outside! Fenix rolls O’Reilly back inside and looks for the rolling thunder cutter… but O’Reilly traps the arm! Straight arm bar! Kyle transitions to Fenix’ injured arm! He taps!!!!

Winner: Kyle O’Reilly

The Blackpool Combat Club is here and Moxley is joined on his walkout by Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz. I’ll call it out every single week I hear or see it, Eddie Kingston is one of the most over guys on the AEW roster. The Jericho Appreciation Society is here too, and Jericho isn’t wearing a shirt. Daddy Magic decides no pyro this week, and no Judas. Jericho said they were attacked by this gang of thugs last week. Meanwhile, Eddie is sitting on the top rope chewing on a straw and on his cell phone. Jericho says the attack was orchestrated by William Regal. Jericho says it’s good to see Regal because he thought he’d be dead by now. Yikes. Jericho said it’s amazing that after all the abuse Regal has put his body through, he still has a brain that works. Talk about wasted potential, according to Jericho, Regal could have been one of the greatest. Jericho says Regal should have been a world class champion but ended up a world class addict. Regal’s been fired from every company he’s ever worked for until he weaseled himself into AEW on the coattails of his proteges.

Santana and Ortiz, well, everything they’ve ever gotten in AEW has been because of Jericho. Eddie Kingston, well, he’s too stupid to not stay home. Then there’s Bryan Danielson, who’s a squeaky-clean nerd. If Danielson sticks with this group long enough, he’ll be chugging whiskey and eventually have to join the program with Moxley. STIFF. Moxley doesn’t flinch but that one pissed off Kingston. It’s a Royal Flush of losers. Jericho’s advice to Regal is to stay home because if he doesn’t, he’ll throw a fireball in his face because he’s a wizard. Or maybe he’ll piss in his tea again. Regal said he’s had to listen to Regal since 1997 and the only thing that could make him any sicker than hearing Jericho is hearing the screams from a burning orphanage. Regal says anytime he’s ever been on a show with Jericho, he’s snuck into his locker, and shoved Jericho’s toothbrush up his own arse. Tremendous.

Jericho tries to challenge them to Stadium Stampede, but Moxley says we’re not doing any sports entertainment shit. Moxley says call it pro wrestling vs. sports entertainment, call it Anarchy in the Arena, but they’re going to fight. Jericho brings up the sorted past between all five men in the ring, but Kingston grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care. Kingston wants to fight now. JAS takes a powder as Kingston goes to follow them… but Danielson steps in the way. That leads to a shoving match between the two. That segment ran way, way too long and I fear how that’s going to effect the rest of the show.

Match #5. Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament Opening Round: Dr. Britt Baker vs. Maki Itoh
Maki Itoh, as customary, sings her own entrance music and I’m sure the internet is going bananas. Britt and Itoh embrace as they had been tag team partners in the past. Baker asks Itoh to lay down and she does… and then rolls her up for a two count! Itoh cries and then stomps on Baker’s foot, and gives her the finger. Baker goes for the lock jaw early but Itoh rolls her up for a two count. Sling blade by Baker gets a two count. Baker beats on Itoh in the corner. STO by Baker gets a two count. Baker then toys with Itoh by pie facing her in the center on the ring. Butterfly suplex with a bridge by Baker gets a two count. Itoh reverses a suplex but Baker stays in control with some elbows in the corner. Rebel not Reba throws Baker the glove, but throwing Itoh into the turnbuckle was not a good idea. Itoh then throws herself into the turnbuckle and starts laughing demonically. Itoh with a headbutt on Baker followed by a swinging DDT for a two count. Itoh with a running kokeshi gets a two count. Baker hits a thrust kick to Itoh’s jaw and Britt locks in the lockjaw… not before giving the camera the finger, of course. Lockjaw gets the win here.

Winner: Britt Baker

Rating: **. This was fine and again, the right person won, but you could tell this match suffered from time constraints. Baker got a strong win ahead of her match with Toni Storm next week and the crowd will probably forever find Maki Itoh entertaining.

Tony Schiavone is in the ring and informs us next week that we will be celebrating three years of Dynamite, but Serena Deeb is here and she’s not happy. Last week, apparently Tony Schiavone predicted that Deeb would not be able to beat Thunder Rosa, so Deeb cuts a promo on him. Deeb then calls out Dustin Rhodes, who she calls the poster boy of failure. Deeb runs down Dustin as Thunder Rosa comes out. Rosa attempts to strike Deeb, but hits Dustin, and Deeb brains Rosa with the belt. Alright then.

Adam Cole vs. Jeff Hardy (Owen Hart Foundation Tournament)

Cole attacks Hardy as he’s making his entrance and we’re getting started right away. Cole rolls Hardy into the ring but Hardy hits a diving clothesline from the apron. On the outside, Cole throws Hardy into the steps and gets in the face of Matt Hardy.

Backstabber by Cole as we’re going to yet another picture-in-picture. Hard Irish whip by Cole to Hardy in the corner. Hardy is still feeling the effects of last week’s insane match with Darby Allin so Cole seems to believe this will be a cake walk.

Time for chin lock city, bay bay, Hardy elbows his way out but Cole throws him down by his hair and panders to the crowd in the classic “we’re in PIP so I’ve got some time to kill” spot. Cole throws Hardy face first into the top turnbuckle and then hits a running back elbow.

Cole looks at his watch. Hardy is on his knees and eating forearms from Cole. Hardy fires up and hits the double leg drop to an upside down Cole that gets a two count. Cole with a low knee but Hardy responds with a flipping back kick. Cole hits an enziguiri but Hardy responds with a sit-out gordbuster for a two count. Cole follows Hardy into the corner but eats a boot to the face. Hardy goes for Whisper in the Wind but Cole super-kicks him out of it.

The timing was off so that seemed a little out of whack. Cole looks to lower the boom but Hardy ducks an hits the stunner. Hardy then hits an inverted Twist of Fate and looks for the Swanton. Hardy goes up but Cole gets out of the way. Cole lowers the boom and that’s all she wrote.

Winner: Adam Cole

After The Match: All Hell Breaks Loose

Matt Hardy is in the ring and having some words with Adam Cole. The Young Bucks hit the ring to save Cole, who then attacks the Hardys from behind. BTE Trigger to Matt Hardy.

Darby and Sting are here and the crowd absolutely erupts. Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly are here and they hit the high/low on Darby on the ramp! Sting fights off Cole and O’Reilly hits Sting in the back with a chair. NO SELL.

Sting then throws the chair in Kyle’s face in a hilarious spot. Double super kick to Sting! Cole puts Sting’s ankle in a chair as O’Reilly comes off the top with a King Kong knee drop!