Recap by: Christopher Jay, rajah.com
CHASING GLORY WITH LILIAN GARCIA 3/30/20: KAYFABE PT 2
-- Alcoholism, Estranged Fathers, Rejection and Determination! --
1:30 Christy Hemme on growing up: "My mom had all the stuff on talking about hide, don't speak, be perfect, cope and I grew up with that and I always fought with her, even as a very young kid. I remember thinking why she can't love herself and I remember thinking that as a young kid which is a weird thought for watching my mom, who was an alcoholic. She died from it. I think just watching that, my reaction as a kid was, I will never be like my mom. Having that reaction toward the woman that is the biggest influence in my life, means that I will negate everything that I actually am. A woman, sensitive, have feelings, very loving and nurturing and creative, those were all the things my mom was. And so by saying I'm going to be like my dad, I'm not going to be like my mom, I am rejecting who I am, and I am going down this path, trying to be like my Dad, but I'm not a male energy. I'm very female. So, I think that is what a lot of what it is that effected my voice and my life on a bigger scale."
11:45 Christy Hemme on having quadruplets: "This was from God. I was in the hospital for a very long time. I was on bedrest at 7 weeks. The percentage at 7 weeks for her pregnancy for failure was 80%, or of having a lifelong major problem for the kids, so for me, it was hard. When we got told we had 4 kids, we got turned down by 3 doctors who said they wouldn't do it because it's so dangerous and the statistics were worse for them, so they had to make the decision to keep them. They said she had to reduce two. So, I was faced with the, ok, am I risking kids and what's going to happen in making them. We had to make the decision by 16 weeks, and we agreed to move forward. We agreed to move forward because we found one doctor in Santa Monica who said he was a very spiritual man and he said he had 100% success rate and the difference for him was the women were committed to doing it and everything he said and they knew they were going to have these kids, so I subscribed to his idea, and said, ok, if you say it, I'm going to put everything into this. He visited to me in the hospital every single night to see where my head was at."
26:00 Gail Kim on growing up: "I blocked out everything from my childhood...I'm always trying to prove myself, maybe that is where my hard exterior comes from. Right before we (her and her dad), fell out, this was clear as day, he did tell me he was proud of me and that was the first time I ever heard him say those words and I was in my 20's. In the Korean household, you don't grow up with a lot of affection. It is a different type of culture... He told me that and then we had a falling out later that year. My mom, my sister and I are broken from him...My way of dealing with it is not deal with it."
48:00 Lita on her dad: "He died a year and a half ago. It's ok, because I remember I was speaking honestly. He is who he is, I am over here and the really interesting thing is I don't have regret about not reaching out because I did get, as he was ailing I was thinking about reaching out, and I was going to write him a short letter and say it's ok, I love you and I forgive you. That was really just for peace for him as I can imagine how scary it is to know you're dying, but then I thought like he's always been so defensive about him being my dad that he has never really taken any responsibly for not having a connection with me so I didn't want to invite more turmoil at that stage...so I am just going to let it lye and I am at peace. I grew up with him being an alcoholic and when he stopped, he felt exonerated from all of his absence from my life...I was like yeah, but I don't know you and now that you aren't that's great, but that's step 1 and now you need to get to know me, and he never did because he felt that should have been a get out of jail free. But the last 10 years of his life, he did start again, so I felt I was getting a jaded engagement when he was responding to me."
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