WWE Velocity Report
Taped in Oklahoma City, OK
May 2nd, 2004
Reported by: The Worm, rajah.com Velocity reporter
Hello all! I must apologize for this report being a day late, but I had to go to dinner with my parents to meet my older sister's new boyfriend. I did remember to tape the show, so that's why you're able to read this report now. You didn't think I would miss the first episode of the new time slot, would you? Anyway, let's get this show on the road!
Match #1 (Singles, Non-Title) - John Cena vs. Akio (w/ Sakoda):
John Cena comes out first and Yo, Yo, Yo! It's time for the Doctor of Thuganomics to bust out a rap:
I got Saturday night on lock, and your boy's holdin' it.
It's the same green screen but now we got gold in it.
I own Velocity, hell, your boy's the franchise!
They say my head's blowin' up, so I increased my pants size.
For real, this crowd is hyped! Tonight is the night, man!
We doing this different, we going to start this off right!
You see, I fight for you people, I have the fans on my mind.
That's why I'm looking in the crowd for all of them John Cena signs.
If you got one, throw it up! Because in case you haven't heard me, the best sign in the house gets a free jersey!
John Cena proceeds to look for the best sign and then climbs over the security barrier and gives it to a fan whose sign reads "My Other Sign is in the Shop". He gets back into the ring and Akio makes his way out with a newly shaven Sakoda.
Akio takes the initiative by attacking John Cena from behind. Akio stomps away at Cena as well as using a moonsault splash. He picks Cena up and puts him into the corner and kicks him. Cena manages to score some offense and whips Akio hard into the corner. Cena goes for the Throwback, but Sakoda pulls down the top rope and Cena falls out of the ring.
Akio is back in control and he uses the ropes to choke Cena. Akio kicks Cena while he's in the corner, and as Akio turns his back to Cena, Cena flies out of the corner with a clothesline. He connects with a sidewalk slam and follows it up with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. It's time to pump it up! Cena connects with the FU and the win!
Winner: John Cena
Post-match, he tosses a bag of nuts to Akio and Sakoda.
We hear some post-match commentary from Josh Mathews and Bill DeMott and coming up, JBL will be in action against Funaki and Rey Mysterio will make his return in a match against Jamie Noble.
Commercial Break
Back on Velocity, Theodore Long introduces the "Reflection of Perfection" Mark Jindrak and then he proceeds to come out.
Match #2 (Singles) - Mark Jindrak vs. Shannon Moore:
There's some intermittent blackouts going on, but they lock up and Mark Jindrak pushes Moore down. Moore tries to score some offense by kicking Jindrak as he charges, but Jindrak catches him and tosses him out of the ring.
Shannon Moore got a haircut while he was gone (commentators say it was the bursa sac in his elbow). Mark Jindrak puts Shannon Moore into the torture rack before tossing him off. Jindrak catches Moore again as he fights out of the corner, but this time Moore scores a few forearms before going up top. Jindrak slams him off by his hair and Jindrak ends this squash match with the flying Rock Bottom.
Winner: Mark Jindrak
Commercial Break
The WWE Sting of the Night recaps Chavo Guerrero Jr announcing an open challenge to any cruiserweight in the world.
Match #3 (Singles) - Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio:
They lock up and Jamie Noble goes for a quick go-behind. Noble goes for a quick pin, but Mysterio kicks out. Mysterio tries for a leg submission, but Noble takes him down and latches on a sleeper. Mysterio gets out of it and latches on a hammerlock. Mysterio continues to work on the arm and Noble does an acrobatic display before connecting with a Northern Lights suplex. They do some cruiserweight manuevers and Mysterio goes for a sunset flip, but Noble kicks out.
They go to lock up again, but Noble quickly grabs the arm and chops away at Mysterio. Mysterio is whipped and goes for a baseball slide under Noble. Noble kicks out of the pinning predicament and Mysterio connects with a springboard moonsault. Noble kicks out of the pin and Mysterio has Noble in a headlock. Noble tries for a back suplex, but Mysterio counters it into a side headlock takeover.
Noble punches Mysterio in the side and Mysterio is whipped, but Noble takes him down with a shoulder block. Noble tries to pin Mysterio, but Mysterio kicks out. Noble is in control as he stomps away at Mysterio, and he rams him into the turnbuckle.
Commercial Break
As we return, Noble is still in control as he wrenches Mysterio's arm and uses a leg drop on it. Noble continues to work on the arm. Mysterio fights out of it and goes for a victory roll, but Noble kicks out of the pin. Noble regains control and proceeds to choke out Mysterio on the turnbuckle. Noble drop kicks Mysterio in the back and goes for a pin, but Mysterio kicks out.
Mysterio connects with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors into an arm bar. Noble whips Mysterio into the turnbuckle and as Noble is in control, Mysterio uses what almost looks like the beginnings of an Asai DDT, but Mysterio comes back down and tosses Noble into the turnbuckle. Mysterio jumps on the rope and uses a spinning headscissors followed by a flying heel kick. Mysterio fights out of the corner and Mysterio connects with a front drop kick. Noble is down in the corner and is met with a baseball slide dropkick. Mysterio goes up top and connects with a Super Star Press, but Noble kicks out of the pin.
Mysterio is whipped and he connects with a springboard cross body, but Noble rolls through and locks in a Fujiwara armbar. Mysterio gets his foot on the rope and Noble is frustrated.
Mysterio fights back from the outside and as Mysterio jumps in, Noble connects with a modified Northern Lights Suplex, but Mysterio kicks out. Noble goes for the Tiger Driver, but Mysterio uses a hurricanrana to drop Noble to the second rope. Mysterio connects with the 619 and then the West Coast Pop to pick up the win.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Commercial Break
The announcers take us back to Smackdown where Eddie Guerrero takes on Bubba Ray Dudley, with Kurt Angle and his bodyguard watching from ringside. Eddie wins the match after he rolls up Bubba following a failed Doomsday Device. Post-match, the Dudleys assault the champion, but RVD comes out and cleans the ring with them. The champ and RVD proceed to deliver Frog Splashes to each of the Dudleys. When asked for his reaction, Angle says that someone's gonna pay for this. Next week, it'll be RVD & Eddie Guerrero vs. The Dudleys and Kurt Angle will have the last laugh. The Undertaker will also be in action, and I can't wait!
Commercial Break
The WWE Rewind recaps Booker T saying that he'll slap the dead off of the Undertaker and then later, smashes the urn over the Undertaker's head, but to no effect. Booker T high-tails it out of the ring, and jumps the security barrier.
Main Event (Singles) - Funaki vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
JBL quickly takes the advantage and beats down Funaki in the corner. He connects with a big boot and tosses Funaki into the corner. JBL stomps away on Funaki and tosses him outside. JBL slams Funaki's head on the steel tairs and then into a steel chair near the timekeeper's table. JBL throws a chair into the ring (the ref throws it back out) and Funaki is busted open. Funaki is tossed back in and JBL connects with a punch followed by several elbow drops. He tosses Funaki back out of the ring and pounds on Funaki's back. He whips Funaki into a security barrier and throws Funaki back in.
JBL continues to punch away at Funaki and then stomps on him. JBL powerbombs Funaki and continues to punch away at him. JBL hits the Clothesline From Hell and then does it again to end this squash match.
Winner: John "Bradshaw" Layfield
So much for the inaugural episode of the new timeslot. The only good match was the one between Jamie Noble and Rey Mysterio. I'll see you next week.
