Memorial Auditorium, Burlington VT, 7/31/05
Smackdown live event
By: Raven Black, rajah.com reader
It was very nice and warm out today, perfect for a long wait. I bought a souvenir program from event staff outside the arena. (Note to WWE: UPDATE THOSE THINGS! Honestly, they still have Molly and Luther Reigns in them!) The Memorial Auditorium opened up at 6 PM. I had very nice front row seats on the southern side of the ring, on the aisle. As is my tradition before live events, I hit the souvenir stand after finding my seat, picking up a pair of t-shirts (Undertaker and Batista). After a few minutes, a pair of folks came and sat in the seats next to me. The guy who sat immediately next to me was a total perv. We got along pretty well.
The sound system kicked in at approximately 6:45 PM, playing My Sacrifice and Lonely Road of Faith. The Smackdown theme started playing, and Tony Chimel, of all folks, came down to the ring. After a few minutes of yapping, he announced Theodore Long (this is officially the first time a General Manager has come to Vermont). After a little dancing around, Long thanked us all for being here and announced a few matches that would take place. As Chimel announced the first match, Long made his way around ringside shaking hands. He's got a pretty strong grip.
(Note to all: I brought my notebook this time, so these matches are reliably in order.)
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Psychosis/Super Crazy vs. Vito/Nunzio
Vito looks pretty impressive in person. Psychosis looks OLD. There was plenty of tries to get the crowd pumped up. A pretty decent match, resulting in a win for the Mexicools via plenty of cheating.
Winners: Psychosis/Super Crazy
Vito and Nunzio picked themselves up and left to a pretty good ovation afterward.
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Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal
Brian Hebner looks like Ryan Seacrest. Everyone knew Regal would be there, as he was at the local Walmart prior, signing copies of his autobiography. Lashley looks pretty impressive (sort of a cross between Shelton Benjamin and Wesley Snipes). He slapped hands around the ring, until he got to my section, where, looking directly at me, he inexplicably stopped (Jerk! What'd I do to you?). Regal got a decent response. Lashley actually dominated a good portion of the match, but Regal definitely gave as good as he got. At one point, he was admonished by the referee after a 4-count for beating Lashley in the corner, to which he responded, "I know what four is, I went to bloody school!" It pays to be close to the ring, you get to hear all these cute little comments.
The finish saw Regal reach into his tights for brass knuckles, at which point Scotty 2 Hotty showed up to run distraction. Lashley got the win via a roll-up.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Afterward, Regal challenged Scotty to get in the ring. Scotty appeared to back off, only to run in a few minutes later. They exchanged blows, Scotty knocked Regal down and hit the Worm. He left to plenty of cheers. Regal got a healthy ovation of his own while leaving the ring.
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Cruiserweight title match: Paul London vs. Juvi
No lawnmower (which is pretty much inexcusable, because they could've fit a lawnmower in the aisle), but Juvi came out wearing a green John Deere cap. He was accompanied by Super Crazy and Psychosis. Paul London came out next, wearing bright green. He slapped hands around half the ring (slapped mine twice, but I'm not complaining!), until stopped by Psychosis and Super Crazy. This was a pretty decent match, full of plenty of high flying and cruiser-style exchanges. The finish saw London go up for the London Calling (on the corner closest to my section, which had me on the edge of my seat in anticipation), until Super Crazy and Psychosis knocked him off and attacked him, causing a DQ.
Winner: Paul London via DQ
The Mexicools were booed as they left. London looked dejected, but got a decent ovation as he left. I don't blame him. I was pretty disappointed as well.
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Stevie Richards vs. The Boogeyman
I don't blame that trainee for laughing. I was laughing. The Boogeyman looks ridiculous. Richards came out alone to the bWo theme. This match seemed like a time killer, in which the Boogeyman kept "scaring" Richards. The match ended early, when Richards was knocked out of the ring and into the guardrail (almost ending up in my mom's lap!). He hit his shoulder pretty hard and was counted out.
Winner: The Boogeyman via countout
Afterwards, Richards was helped out by several referees, and got a decent ovation. I hope he's OK, he's had bad luck in terms of injuries.
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Tag Team Title match: MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich
MNM came out first (no Jillian, thank God!), and I got a decent view of Melina's "entrance" (the perv next to me was practically drooling). Animal and Heidenreich came out to the old LOD theme. This match wasn't really that great (of course, when Nitro stood on the apron side closest to my seat, I stopped paying attention. TV does not do this guy justice. He's damn fine!). Melina brought her own brand of "interference", including choking Heidenreich with her legs (resulting in more drooling from the perv). Poor ol' Heidenreich was the second wrestler to nearly end up in my mom's lap. Heidenreich and Animal set up for the Doomsday Device, when Melina interfered again. Animal pulled her in and set her up for the DD, which Torrie Wilson showed up to deliver. With Melina out of the way, Animal and Heidenreich set Nitro up for the DD and got the win.
Winners: Animal/Heidenreich
Animal and Heidenreich left the ring. Mercury and Nitro hugged to plenty of boos, then left the ring too.
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Fatal 4-way, US title: Christian vs. Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan
Jordan came out first (he really needs to do something about that hair of his!), followed by Christian (red-sequined black ring gear, black and pink tights). Booker T. and his horse-faced wife Sharmell (she was prettier back in WCW) were next. Benoit came out last to the loudest reaction of the 4.
Note to all: Orlando Jordan has officially been christened "Buckwheat", and will be called such until that unruly mop is cut (he could hear me mention this nickname). Christian spent most of the time outside the ring (started near my section and crawled around one side). As a result, most of this match was Benoit/Booker/Jordan. Lots of back and forth action, with plenty of saves from each guy. Jordan pulled out the cheap win via a low blow (ref was conveniently distracted) and roll up with a handful of tights.
Winner: Orlando Jordan
Jordan received a Scissor Kick, and Booker did the Spinarooni afterward.
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Intermission! About 15-20 minutes long. Beforehand, t-shirts were thrown out to the crowd. Of course, none were thrown into my section. Jerks.
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Street fight: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey came out first, to a good reaction. Eddie got plenty of heat. This one was pretty brutal, including both going over the guardrail (tailed by 3 referees) and around one section near the concession area. Plenty of near-falls once they got back in the ring. A chair came into play afterward. The finish saw Eddie get hit in the head with the chair. He had a pretty good cut on his forehead afterward (huzzah! Eddie's learned how to blade properly!). Rey got the win after a 619 and a top rope legdrop.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Rey and Eddie continued beating the heck out of each other afterward, until Eddie was forced out by the referees. Rey, with Eddie's blood on him (it was on the apron as well), threw several armbands out to the crowd and slapped hands afterward (he punched mine).
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Main event time!
World title match: JBL vs. Batista
Before the match, Chimel thanked everyone for coming. JBL came out first. He got ahold of a microphone, proceeding to cut an anti-gay promo on Vermont (I'll agree with him on Howard Dean. Dean's an idiot wuss). He also mentioned protestors out front (I didn't see them when I came in, which mean they got there after 6 PM). This earned him a pretty loud "Asshole" chant (and he noticed me flipping him off!). Batista came out next to the loudest reaction of the night. (Hot damn he looks awesome in person!)
Apparently, they had time to kill, which resulted in a posedown. This turned silly very quickly. Hogan was mimicked. By the time they were done with that, Brian Hebner was crying from laughter. He then accused JBL of grabbing his ass. JBL and Batista finally locked up, until Batista accused JBL of grabbing his ass. JBL tried to show Hebner what he was trying to do to Batista, resulting in yet more ass grabbing. LOUD "JBL's Queer" chant started. Batista came over to the corner near my section, looked right at me, and made a gesture, as if to say "Yeah, he's queer".
This was a decent match (with yet more repetitions of "JBL's Queer", "Asshole" and an amusing dual chant from the section across the ring from mine: "Orlando Jordan" "Is your boyfriend"). JBL worked on Batista's knee for part of the match. They went through 2 referees. Hebner took a ref bump, and another referee (the bald one...Jim Korderas?) was attacked by JBL afterward. After Hebner's ref bump, Batista hit a thunderous spinebuster and went for the pin, which he obviously didn't get. With both referees down shortly after that, Orlando Jordan hit the ring, distracting Batista long enough for JBL to hit a low blow and a Clothesline from Hell. He dragged Hebner over and tried to count the pin with his hand, until Batista kicked out.
After disposing of Jordan, Batista hit the Batista Bomb. A revived Hebner counted the pin.
Winner: Batista
Jordan basically dragged JBL out. Batista posed with the belt, then slapped hands afterward (I got the tail end of this...sweaty hand!). The arena emptied out fairly quickly. I was tired, hoarse, and half-deaf, but I was happy.
All in all, a very good show. No Undertaker or Randy Orton, but nobody really minded.
Loudest pops
1. Batista
2. Rey
3. Benoit
Most heat
1. JBL
2. Eddie
3. Mexicools (plenty of USA chants)
