Lots to get to this week. First we get a Raw recap, then some news as we head into Summerslam, then a quickie Summerslam Preview in the Three Count section and some questions and answers to bring it home like always. I was hoping to do a column last week, but due largely to Madden 2006 coming out (go Rams) I haven't been inclined to write about wrestling a whole lot lately. This will probably be on a more weekly schedule come September when I'm around a computer more.
Raw Recap for 08/15/05
I was out all day Monday, I came home at like 8:57pm, turned on Raw and what I saw at the start of the show was beautiful…
Shawn Michaels walking down the aisle in Montreal. Oh man, you knew WWE had this date circled on their calendar. If you're reading this then you probably saw it. The way the crowd was all over him from the start of the promo, to the constant Bret Hart talk and then the music of Hart playing. Man, I was going nuts for it even though I should have known Bret's comeback wouldn't be unadvertised. Of course with talk of the DVD being released soon it wasn't that FAR fetched. That's why it worked this week in this city and it won't in some other city. Then he managed to weave it all together, tied it into Hogan and made the crowd hate him the whole damn time. It really was great from the moment it started to the end. The highlight was the "Shut the Fuck Up" chant. It was so loud they had to mute it on TV. That was just hilarious. The whole thing was beautiful.
It was one of the best one man promos in the history of WWE TV. I dunno how I'd rate it compared to two man promos involving the likes of Austin-McMahon or Rock-Anyone, but it was fantastic. He played off the crowd perfect, they gave him the ammunition and they all hit it out of the park. The best thing? He didn't plug Hogan Knows Best. I'm so glad I taped this. I know I'll be rewatching it.
Big Show beat the Heart Throbs in a couple minutes. Whatever happened to the Show/Masters angle? It actually had potential. Oh, right, it's more important to kill off a tag team. Gotta love the priorities. This was just filler. At least the writing of Big Show is consistent. He didn't have anything to do on SD and now he's got nothing to do on Raw.
Eugene Invitational seems him against Rene Dupree. Doesn't happen since Angle comes out, chucks Dupree out (looks like he hurt his knee a bit there) and beats on Eugene. I guess this is their way of turning Angle into Mr. Serious before he feuds with Cena. This feud has just been okay, though. Nothing special.
Video of the whole Hardy/Edge feud. Amazingly, not a single clip of Kane in the whole thing. If only my memory could be erased of that nonsensical bullshit as easily as WWE's production team erases it. The video was pretty good. Of course, if you think about it in terms of how WWE books it then you'll have a hard time making sense of it all.
Bischoff, Jericho and Carlito tried their best for some cheap heat by claiming they were Canadians. Of course Jericho is now because he's a heel. Highlight of all this was Carlito saying "Now that's cool, eh." I like that guy.
Cena beat Carlito and Jericho in a handicap match, pinning Carlito. I like both Cena and Carlito, but I could go without seeing them wrestle eachother for at least a year. Also, why two handicap matches on the same show with faces winning? Isn't the point to have faces lose? Oh well. Cena's not losing Sunday. I'd say maybe 5% of WWE fans think Jericho is winning on Sunday. It's not happening. Match was okay, like *1/2 or so.
Ashley won the diva search. Of course she did. She had the biggest chest. Duh. Maybe one day she too can follow the footsteps of Christy Hemme and manage a mentally challenged wrestler.
Edge beat Val Venis in a couple minutes. Somebody tell JR that Edge's finisher is called the Edgeucator. Maybe JR should have watched Smackdown a few years ago, he would have known. As soon as Val Venis comes out, you know what's going to happen. Poor guy.
Conway beat Hurricane in about four minutes. Another squash, really, because you know the face has no chance. So that's three in one show. Oh yes, another tag wrestler here too. Love the division.
Hogan vs. Angle was pretty much what was expected. A five minute match with a Michaels run-in at the end. Hogan is embarrassing to watch. His "big boot" hit Angle in the rib, yet Angle has to sell it like he's in some 30 minute classic. Sigh. I'm so ready for Hulkamania to go away. Anyway, Michaels slowly put the old guy's legs into the sharpshooter to end the show. Hogan of course didn't tap to it because it's Hulkamania, brother. Can't show weakness.
People are going to overrate this show because of the opening promo. After that, though, the show was pedestrian. If it wasn't for Michaels' promo and Ashley's outfit then it would be a two or so. Since those things did happen then I'll bump it up a bit. I do miss the days of good wrestling, though. Remember the Raw with Michaels/Benjamin and Benoit/HHH on the same show? That seems SO long ago doesn't it? One final thought: Canadian crowds rule. We really do.
5 (out of 10)
The News
- Don't be shocked if Chris Jericho is off WWE TV for a while after Summerslam. While he did sign a contract extension recently, it's assumed that it was only a short term contract or one that will allow him to take some time off. He's been working for WWE for six years now without much a break because he's been able to avoid serious injuries. He has a wife and two young children at home that he wants to spend time with, as well as his band Fozzy, which is something he wants to devote more time to. It's just a guess of mine, but I see him sitting out the rest of the year, resting his body and mind until coming back in January for the Royal Rumble. So if you're a big Jericho fan, you should probably enjoy Summerslam because it may be the last you'll see of him for a while. Plans always change, though, so remember that before you think this is engraved in stone.
- Trish Stratus is likely going to return this next week, be it Summerslam or Raw. Rumor has it that she'll be back as a babyface to feud with Lita, or maybe Victoria. Could even be Alexis Laree, who is set to debut soon. Of course this is like the third time in the last three months that she's been rumored to be back, so nobody really knows.
- Frankie Kazarian left WWE last week. The main reason was because WWE wasn't using him a whole lot. He made a few appearances on Velocity, but nothing on Smackdown. He probably thought he'd have a bigger role in the show. He's still young and has a bright future. Since he did leave on good terms there's always the chance that he'll go back there in the future.
- Some notes on Bret Hart DVD via the Wrestling Observer and this stuff has been passed on to me by my buddy Jay since I haven't got my Observer yet this week.
Apparently, the DVD was originally going to be a total burial of Bret Hart with interviews already being taped with Hulk Hogan, Jerry Lawler, Roddy Piper, Shawn Michaels and some other people burying Bret, which likely won't be used now that Bret is on board. Chris Benoit and Jim Ross refused to knock Bret Hart in their taped interviews. Hogan rips into Bret Hart for not putting people over, which is funny. Michaels' comments were so negative they likely won't be used.
Dave said that people are overreacting the picture of Bret and Vince shaking hands, as they didn't kiss and make up, they just pretty much put aside their differences for a few days to work on the DVD. Hart has refused to do any televised angles or promotion for the DVD at all.
Bret and WWE both have co-control of the finished DVD and if Bret Hart isn't happy with it then he is allowed to pull out at any point and the interview footage shot of him won't be used.
Some of the matches being talked about include Hart/Steamboat, Hart/Andre from Italy, Hart/Savage from Saturday Night's Main Event, Hart Foundation/Rockers SNME, Hart Foundation/Road Warriors, Hart/Flair (title win), WMX (both matches), vs. 123 Kid, vs. Hakushi, the Canadian Stampede main event, vs. Undertaker (one night only) and vs. Goldberg at Starrcade 1999. Dave predicted that Bret/Davey (SummerSlam 92), Bret/Michaels (WM12), Bret/Austin (WM13), Bret vs. Hennig (SS91) and Bret vs. Benoit (Owen Hart Tribute Match) would be on the set. Ross Hart has been going through the Stampede collection looking for stuff like Hart/Dynamite Kid, but since the project has a two week deadline it will be tough to find and restore the matches. WWE is trying to get Bret/Tiger Mask or Bret/Dynamite from New Japan, but talks aren't going well.
Again, thanks to my buddy Jay and the Wrestling Observer for that news.
The Three Count
1. Here's my quickie Summerslam Preview:
Kurt Angle vs. Eugene - I like Angle to win. This whole storyline has just been okay. Angle had so much momentum coming over from Smackdown, having another great match with Michaels and now they got him paired with Eugene. Angle should win. Have him not just win, but beat Eugene up afterwards too in order to make him a serious threat for the title. Angle's too good to be in some midcard match. Angle wins.
Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan for the US Title - I think OJ's reign as arguably the worst champion in WWE history is about to end. Thank God. It's not that he's a horrible performer. It's that they booked no feud for the guy for like six months now. It's unbelievable how that could even happen, yet it does. Benoit wins via tapout and hopefully brings some credibility to that belt.
Matt Hardy vs. Edge - I don't think there'll be a clean winner here. If there is, it'll probably be Edge via some cheap tactics. I'm going to say they end up brawling all over the floor, Edge uses the briefcase and gets DQ'd leading to more matches down the line. I see this thing lasting a while, like until Survivor Series. Hardy wins via DQ.
Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero in a Ladder Match - If they get over 15 minutes then this is your match of the night, folks. I've been dying to see Mysterio in a ladder match for a long time, so I'm glad we get to see it now. I'm assuming this is the end of their feud what with Dominick's "custody papers" up for grabs. I think Rey has to win although I wouldn't be surprised or upset if Eddie did. I pick Mysterio.
Randy Orton vs. Undertaker - I'm always going to wonder if Orton was supposed to go over at WrestleMania 21 if he didn't have his shoulder injury. I think he would have. Since Undertaker did win there, I believe Orton will win here. Clean? I'm not sure. I say Orton via pinfall, though.
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho - Sorry Jericho fans, he's not winning here. Carlito interferes, Bischoff interferes, Jericho gets a nearfall, but Cena ultimately wins via pinfall to retain. I think Cena feuds with Michaels or Angle after this.
Batista vs. JBL in a No Holds Barred Match - Much like with Jericho, I don't see JBL winning here. I think Batista has to go over again since the JBL reign of terror as the top heel is hopefully over with this. They've got Guerrero and Orton waiting in the wings, so I really hope JBL is out of the main event picture for a while now. Batista wins a physical match that is hopefully much better than their Great American Bash match.
Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels - I think Hogan's going to win. I hope he doesn't, but I get the feeling that this is just the first match between these two. Michaels will be unable to put him away, Hogan will do his Hulking Up stuff, do the big boot to the ribs (if only Michaels were a midget then it would look painful!) and hit the big legdrop, or two, for the pinfall. Post match, Michaels beats the hell out of his knee with a steel chair, Cena comes out for the save and there you have your main event for Unforgiven. Then Michaels/Hogan happens again at Survivor Series. For the record, I don't think Bret Hart will show up although if anybody buys the show thinking he will then WWE deserves your money.
Good card. They're missing Shelton Benjamin and Christian, though. Two weeks ago I barely gave a damn about Summerslam. Then the Hogan/Michaels thing started to really heat up, the Guerrero/Mysterio feud was topped off with a ladder match, Hardy/Edge has the potential to be really good and the rest of the card is pretty solid. I think there's only one potential match that could go over four stars in Mysterio/Guerrero, but I think the booking of some other matches could make them better than any of us may think at this point in time.
For those that will ask, I'm not doing a live recap. I will however have some sort of review and analysis up by Monday morning at noon at the latest.
2. I touched on it above, but I'm REALLY excited about Summerslam right now. A lot more than I was say two weeks ago. The main reason is because of the Michaels/Hogan match, which is likely going to go on last. Michaels is my favorite wrestler ever. Hulk Hogan is somebody who I enjoyed at times, but have not enjoyed for a lot more of the time. On a personal level, it's as if I want Michaels to win not just because he's my favorite wrestler, but because he speaks the truth: "Hulk Hogan, the same thing I despise about you is the same thing I despise about Bret Hart. You stood for some moral fiber that in your real life did not exist, yet you stood in judgment of me. You, Hulk Hogan, will stand for just about anything. There isn't a realistic bone in your body." I loved that part of his speech on Raw. So perfect. Of course Michaels has a questionable job with his refusal to do jobs and threatening to quit unless he got things his way. But he's a heel, so they don't need to go there to get the fans to hate him. The best part of the match is there is so much doubt. How good will it be? Who will win? How will they win? Will either man truly lay down for the other? So many questions and I have so few answers. That's why it's potentially so damn good.
3. I think it's a shame that neither tag title, the IC title, the women's title and the cruiserweight title aren't on the show. It makes you wonder why the belts even exist if the writing is so inept that they are unable to come up with anything for those titles. Even the US title match barely has any story behind it. They just stuck Benoit there to carry Jordan to something close to a good match. There's eight titles in all. Only three of them are on the PPV that is considered the second or third biggest (WrestleMania and Royal Rumble being the others) of the year. That's not a good sign, is it?
Reader Questions & Comments
Time for some emails. If I haven't gotten to yours yet please be patient because I will. As always, reader comments in yellow and mine in regular font.
John,
I would like to know what you think of the Ultimate Warrior. I don't like him that much. With the announcement of a DVD coming out trashing him I would like to know what is your take on him. Some seem to think he is mentally unbalanced do you think so?
-Alex
I think if you watched WWE in the late '80s and early 90s then you know just how hugely over this guy was. He was so over that they even thought they could put him as the top dog instead of Hogan at a time when Hogan was still doing good business. During those three or four years, as a character, nobody was hotter than this guy. The music, the entrance, the ropes shaking, it just plain worked. Then they gave him the belt, he went kinda loony and since he was never a good in-ring performer his career went downhill. He'll be remembered for being nuts more than for his couple of years as being a really hot act. The DVD should be funny to see the bloopers and his peers trashing him. The match against Savage at WM7 rules, though. Because of Savage, not because of him.
Hey John,
I was just wondering if you could give us your opinion (besides the obvious stupidity factor) on why in the world writers put characters into a permanent type role and then get stuck with nothing after that character dies. Some prime examples that spring to mind, Eugene - a great wrestler, but what are they supposed to do with him after the "special" angle wears off? Hassan - obviously a wasted talent now that the writers took the whole terrorist angle a bit too far. Matt Morgan - Big guy with good potential. Fails pretty badly at a stuttering gimmick, so what's the next step... FIRE HIM?!?! I could probably keep on going, but these are just the most obvious ones for the moment. Do you have any ideas for a possible re-introduction of Hassan or Eugene? It's great to read up on you column and your doing a fine job, keep up the good work.
- JT
I see what you're saying. I think the answer lies in the simple fact that WWE doesn't really face competition. In the days of the WWE/WCW rivalry they would have gimmicks fail, but the wrestlers wouldn't fired or killed off like they do now. They'd be repackaged. Now, though, since there is no major competition (there is TNA, but at this point WWE has little reason to fear them) they are able to cut a guy like Morgan, kill off a character like Hassan and keep stale characters like Eugene because those wrestlers have no other choice. I hope they bring back Mark Copani (the guy who played Hassan) in some new role because he had potential. It may never happen, though. We don't really know. Wrestlers can't really protest or say no to ideas if they're starting. Obviously somebody the stature of a Michaels or Hogan can't. But Matt Morgan? He has to do the stuttering gimmick even if he knows he's a good talker. Even if he knows it's a ridiculous gimmick that will not get over. You do it or you get canned. Say goodbye to the six figure salary that paid the bills easier than the indy scene would.
Where do you see Trips going once he returns to TV? Its kind of weird hearing rumors of him versus Flair when neither of them have been on TV for a month now. I believe Trips is going to finally go on a face run for the first time in years and maybe have a feud with Angle (the two greatest mic workers today on Raw) or even building a smaller heel with Rene Dupree since there are a lack of hardcore true heels now.
Jeremy in Lincoln, NE
The Flair/HHH rumor came from about two months ago when it was a rumored match at Summerslam. Then both decided to take more time off although HHH is backstage at TV tapings learning about the production of the shows a bit more. I think he'll stay heel. They see money in Cena vs. HHH, I think, so don't be shocked if that happens as we get to the end of the year. HHH won't be back till October, most likely, because that's when Raw moves to USA Network. They want to make his return, as well as Flair's, a big deal.
Hey John I was just wondering what you think they should do with Kane. Do you think it'd be a good idea to give him some time off for a couple months? Maybe that'll be long enough for the writers to actually figure out a good storyline for him. And if this does happen should he come back heel or face?
-Richard in Buffalo
Yep. Time off is good. He's a guy who has been injury free for a long time it seems. I think the reasoning for their time off now (he got "arrested") is pretty weak especially since there's been zero follow up or mention of the guy on TV. I think he should always be a heel. I like him a lot more in that role and I think it's just unrealistic to act like the fans would be sympathetic towards a guy like that. They should have moved him to Smackdown when they had the draft lottery since he's dead on Raw in terms of who he can feud with. Would have made the transition to Edge/Hardy all the better too.
Bad businesss..obviously we have seen Vince write the definition of bad business a few times in his life. However, I for one am not all that anxious to take out my Bic highlighter and bring attention to his definitions as you do, and just as it is your freedom of speech to do so, it is my freedom of speech to speak against doing so.
His actions as the head an industry I have followed and stared at salivating like a hungry dog in a Pavlov experiment have given me something to turn to in order to escape the cage. Lets face it, I'm reading what you just wrote and you are reading this because of one man. I need not type his name again.
Every memory of an amazing match, character, angle or interview on a WWE stage is of course the results of that wrestlers/entertainers ability to perform on that stage. Forget not who built that stage by creating Pay Per View and bringing the wrestling Industry to the broadcast world. If he wants to show up one night and highlight himself while breaking the record for longest run of unrepeated shows broadcasted to his audience, so be it.
Re-read the columns from a year ago. I will now take out my Bic and highlight the topics.
1) Get the McMahons off of WWE TV. Up until this Monday ....Done
2) Triple H is bad for business get the title off him and him off the show. As of now.....Done.
3) Let new stars move up through the glass ceiling. Look at todays Champion......Done.
Thank you for bettering the business as advised by us, the "smarks". Feel free to try something new and trip anytime you like Vince.
Sincerely,
Tim
Proud Member #636 of the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass club
I see what you're saying. Well said. I didn't do the "good business" thing to say that he makes horrible decisions. Just that he's made some dumb ones just as often as he's made good ones. Of course we all do that. Everybody is prone to mistakes. I was just having fun, man. That is all.
You forgot to mention that he is the man that gave us Kamala. That is GREAT business.
How You Can Be Here
Email me a question with regards to anything WWE related. Ask me what I think about a wrestler, what I think about a match from the past (I can give you a star rating and thoughts on it, for example), a storyline going on or anything else. My only request is no fantasy booking. I know people like to do that. I just don't want to do that in this column. Another option is write me a commentary that's around 500 words at the most and I'll consider posting it.
Send all comments and/or questions to me at oratoryjohn@gmail.com and throw in a name for me to reference to as well. I won't post your email address, but a name would be nice. A location is fine too. That's up to you.
I really enjoy answering your questions and hearing your ideas for stuff. It's a lot of fun, so please keep them coming.
Column Flashbacks
In this section from now on I'm going to link you to a column from my archives. Over the six years I've been writing online there's been plenty of things to write about, so I thought it would be a good idea to mention a column in this section during the News & Views that's available for you to peruse if you are so inclined.
This week you get three of them in honor of Summerslam. Click on the links to see the recaps for that year.
Summerslam 2001
Summerslam 2003
Summerslam 2004
The last two are "live" recaps. The other is a show review similar to what I'll be doing this year.
In Closing…
See you next time for the News & Views. Should be next week. Look for some sort of a Summerslam recap on Monday. No live coverage, though. I'm watching this one on the couch with some friends.
Smell ya later,
John C. - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
Links to check out:
The Oratory - The Best Wrestling Columns on the Net!
The John Report Archives - Missed something that I wrote? That's the place to go.
